Before getting to the news, please allow me to be a bit self-indulgent. SP and I love baseball, and particularly love minor league baseball. It’s wonderful to see young players who are chasing their dreams, still really care, and aren’t likely to be caught wrapping their Lamborghini around a light pole. There’s a delightful intimacy to the parks and a lack of pretense. Best of all, you’re not put through a TSA-level screening to get in (which has caused us to stop attending MLB games).

With great delight, we discovered that there are independent league teams playing in our area, with the Schaumberg Boomers just an hour or so away. SP scored us some nice seats at their charming little park (row six, on the third base side, perfect for watching the pitching). When we got there, we found out that it was a promotional night, this time with (TRIGGER WARNING!) a Harry Potter theme. So of course, the stadium was over-run by geeky kids in capes and round glasses. And some folks who aren’t exactly kids.

And of course, minor league ball rates minor league mascots. I wonder what Philly fans would do with this one?

My favorite was, of course, little girl in front of us who was playing with a toy cell phone.

“I can pretend I’m Mommy when she’s driving!”

Anyway, we got a bonus when the Boomers and their opponents, the Grand Traverse Beach Bums, played the last three innings of a rain-interrupted game from the day before, then a full game. Boomers got crushed in both, likely due to their uniforms matching the style and color scheme of my beloved but hapless Orioles.

On to news:

Speaking of sports and wrapping a Lamborghini around a light pole, here’s a wonderful, “He din do nuffin!” story.

Cowboys receiver Terrance Williams was arrested for public intoxication and leaving the scene of an accident. Williams has now supplied his side of the story that, as told by the authorities, involved Williams allegedly wrecking his Lamborghini into a light pole…

Williams’ lawyer, Chip Lewis, added this: “Contrary to media reports, Terrance did not hit a light pole and there was no light pole even near the vehicle. Secondly, his arrest was wholly unrelated to the traffic accident.”

 

This story has it all, from a wonderful headline to massive assholery all around. One of the pleasures of doing links is stumbling across gems like this.

According to Orlando police, as the flight from Colorado was descending for landing at Orlando International Airport, Timothy and Petrini Manley took issue with fellow passengers’ service dog. Petrini Manley allegedly complained she was allergic to dogs and Timothy Manley complained the dog, a Great Dane, was taking up too much space.

Timothy then punched the service dog with a closed fist, according to police.

The owners of the service dog, Mathew Silvay and Hazel Ramirez, who are both deaf, began arguing with the Manleys “as best they could,” police said, though both communicate using sign language.

 

I am shocked, totally shocked, that a Chicago machine politician’s Justice Department would abuse their power for political gain.

It is not clear if the professor was paid to speak with Trump campaign figures, but public records show that he has received large payments from the federal government in the last two years. The Department of Defense’s Office of Net Assessment — a shadowy think tank that reports directly to the secretary of defense — paid Halper $282,000 in 2016 and $129,000 in 2017.

Nice work if you can get it. And lest you think that he just did this because he was an Obama True Believer,

Halper has close personal and professional ties to the CIA reaching back decades. He is the son-in-law of a former deputy director of the agency and worked on the 1980 presidential campaign of George H.W. Bush, who had served as CIA director. When Bush became Ronald Reagan’s running mate, Halper was implicated in a spying scandal in which CIA officials gave inside information on the Carter administration to the GOP campaign.

 

“Hey, isn’t that…?”

Since Jay was not filming on the premises, nor did she have any complaints, it seems odd that Airbnb had discovered she was a porn star—unless someone within the company recognized her.

 

Never change, Al never change.

 

Ah, California, so woke!

 

#metoo rolls on and on. Latest “rape” accusation:

Sources said Besson’s accuser went to police on Friday to file a complaint against Besson after the alleged assault at the Bristol hotel in the French capital. The complainant said she had been in a relationship with him for around two years, stating she felt pressured into being intimate with him for professional reasons.

For good measure, she even threw in a Cosby.

According to Europe 1 radio, which broke the story, Besson’s accuser said she had “drunk a cup of tea, then felt unwell and lost consciousness”. The station quoted her as saying that when she came round she remembered being sexually assaulted.

 

OK, enough news, let’s have some music. The right kind of music. Old Guy Music. And this time, a live version of a classic. See, I’m not actually old, I’m a classic.