Well, well, well… what have we here?

Pull out your star charts boy and girls, we’ve got something very interesting going on this week.

Yes, yes, we’ve still got that Jupiter-retrograde-in-Scorpio, old news.  But see that Mercury-Sol-Venus alignment?  Change in relationships?  Well, this week, it’s moved in opposition to us.  And if that’s not enough we also have the moon in opposition to that opposition.  Double Opposition.  What does it mean?  This week, your relationships are going to be rock solid.  You can take advantage of this, as we can see from another alignment concurrent with the double opposition.  We have Venus (love) aligned with Mars (war) and Saturn (endings) retrograde (not).  So a fight this week will not end your relationship.  Having said that, while you can get away with having a spat this week, there’s no indications that you should.  There’s nothing here indicating that the makeup sex will be good, and with Venus having moved out of Gemini, there’s no indication to look up Heather and Holly on facebook to see if they are conveniently available this weekend.  Mars moving into Aquarius indicates “trouble with the provider,” so maybe it’s a good thing you’ve got a little stellar stability helping you out.

One last alignment in this week’s very busy sky:  Sol – Jupiter retrograde – Luna.  Literally, good news for queens.  Elizabeth II is not going to die.  I don’t know if this also extends to drag queens, but it just might because:

Both the Moon and Venus are in Cancer.  And of course, we’ve already mentioned how Luna has rulership of Cancer, but with Venus in the mix we literally have (almost) all the most feminine influences possible coming together and amplifying each other.  Indulge in your wildest stereotypes. Eat ice cream while watching rom-coms.  Cry every now and then for no reason whatsoever.

People born under the sign of Taurus will receive good news this week.  Also, a new speed record for a racing cow will be set.

If you are kidding this week, it will go successfully.  Both mother and child will be fine, but it won’t be twins.

This week is also auspicious for naval forces.