Thursday Afternoon Glib Monarchy Links

People often say to me, “SP, you are the queen of my heart.”

Well, what’s the percentage in that?!

You have no doubt noticed that with the run-up to this weekend’s Royal wedding, my family, although not inbred, has been doing its best to emulate the British Royal Family these past 36 hours:

1. We have purely ceremonial powers
2. We expect to be idolized and feted simply for being born
3. We meddle and make pronouncements about all manner of things
4. Webdominatrix and I rock tiaras
5. We’re a Royal PITA and you can’t get rid of us

However, in yet another gracious act of Queenly benevolence, I will bestow upon my loyal subjects…the links.

Way to smash the patriarchy!

And this just in. More women smashing patriarchies and glass ceilings…or lungs, kneecaps, whatever.

Suuuurrrrre, it’s healthier to quit smoking cigarettes. Older story but amused me.

Hey, I can’t prove it wasn’t.

Who?

Answer: SugarFree stories.

Well, I wasn’t going there anyway.

Never apologize. And… Laurel.

Have a terrific rest of your day, Glibs. And don’t forget to bow down before me!

Comments

389 responses to “Thursday Afternoon Glib Monarchy Links”

  1. Arousing array of asses for Glibs who prefer pert posteriors.

    http://archive.is/h3fx2

    We maybe can assume at least one of them is barefoot and pregnant? TIWTANFL.

    1. pan fried wylie

      #14: “Hey we got the huge gas burner out, you know what that makes me think of…..ASS SHOTS, pull those pants down baby!”

    2. Spudalicious

      2 and 4. No reason to go any farther.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Is #60 Tyrion Lannister?

    4. Gustave Lytton

      What to eat… what to eat….? Too many choices…

    1. The Other Kevin

      Doesn’t he have a tour to mark the anniversary of his “Live at the Acropolis?” If so, I think he’s behind it as a publicity stunt.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Is what Q thinks of when he wants to cum.

    3. MikeS

      Yanni and John Tesh aka: the Twin Pestilences

      1. Galt1138

        Indeed! I blasted some Yanni in my office when a co-worker posted the Yanny or Laurel question on his whiteboard.
        I am the scourge of my office.

        1. Mad Scientist

          You are a hero.

          1. MikeS

            He is doing God’s work.

          2. Galt1138

            *blushes* Well, I do my part, as best I can.

    4. bacon-magic

      Sit on your laurel.

    5. Spudalicious

      Bullshit. Laurel all day long.

  2. Count Potato

    “4. Webdominatrix and I rock tiaras”

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

    1. Bobarian LMD

      And nothing else, right?

      1. pan fried wylie

        correct, And Nothing Else Happened.

  3. Well, I wasn’t going there anyway.

    The Congo, proof that Australia may not be the deadliest place on Earth.

    1. Drake

      There’s a major city in yhr Congo?

      1. By number of people, yes.

        By surviving infrastructure, no.

      2. Los Doyers

        12,000,000 people in Kinshasa would probably be classified as a major city pendejo

  4. Chipwooder

    Angel? WTF? Doesn’t anyone recognize Mothman when they see him anymore?

    1. JW

      It’s like no one has ever seen a Vorlon before.

      1. Drake

        They rarely leave their environmental suits.

        1. Chafed

          I would recognize Josh anywhere. That ain’t him.

          1. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

            Does this mean one of thier planet-killers is nearby?

            Someone check with our lizard pal to see if he has any intel.

  5. “What men think of when they’re trying not to cum”

    I recognize that everyone’s nervous system is different, but I’ve found more often than not that I have the opposite problem.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      I feel proud that my favorite made the list:

      MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY MARGARET THATCHER NAKED ON A COLD DAY

      1. commodious spittoon

        My go-to is British as well: I think of your mum.

        /Jimmy Carr voice

    2. OneOut

      I once told my wife, “be still, don’t move”.

      She, knowing exactly why I said it, excitedly shouted, “think about ugly women”.

      1. Suthenboy

        Never works for me. Wife melts and becomes a total orgasm and no way in hell I can hold off. I melt too. Oh well.

        1. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
  6. Playa Manhattan

    The royal wedding is this weekend?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Welfare bums get married all the time, what’s the big deal?

    2. SP

      Didn’t you receive your invite? Meghan must still be hurt you dumped her.

    3. Rasilio

      seriously, I had no clue. I mean I knew they were getting married, anyone who has been in a supermarket checkout line would know that but I had no clue it was this weekend till I read it in the Links

  7. Playa Manhattan

    “What Men Think of When They’re Trying Not to Cum”

    The person in front of me?

    1. Bobarian LMD

      In the elevator?

      1. straffinrun

        Correct answer.

    2. Rasilio

      yeah cause if you thought about the one behind you there’d be a mess all over your bed

      1. Chafed

        Just what I was thinking.

    3. Galt1138

      Ouch!

      Actually, SP stories have popped in my head when I didn’t want to end it, ahem, prematurely. *shudder*

      1. Jarflax

        SF =/= SP and Galt1138 is courting a catbutt.

        *notices that there may be a conflict between this and my last post, awaits catbutt

        1. Galt1138

          Doh! This is what happens when I skim the links during work.

          Please do forgive a poor, overworked soul.

    4. Chafed

      Your wife must be delighted.

      1. Galt1138

        I can say she’s very happy. Not sure if it’s me, or who she’s thinking about. At least she uses my name 🙂

        1. commodious spittoon

          In fairness, John’s a pretty common name.

          1. Galt1138

            Heh. That’s what I keep telling myself.

  8. Wow, my voice on the GoPro sounds nothing like my voice on my microphone.

    My dad’s voice on the GoPro sounds nothing like he does in real life.

    Oddly, the GoPro seems to think I have a deeper voice than he does.

    1. Tonio

      How is it working out for you otherwise.

      1. So far so good. I’m reviewing the test recording done for duration (to see how long it could record from 53% battery). It should be ~90min on a full charge from the looks of the test. I got a battery charger and some spare batteries so I don’t have to plug the camera in to recharge.

    2. This test video just goes to prove my point. If I transcribed a day’s worth of conversations, just natural chatter between people, it would read as completely unrealistic ranging from the nonsensical to the contrived to the stilted and repeditive.

  9. Count Potato

    “The agency, an arm of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, tallied 195 incidents of burning or exploding e-cigarettes between January 2009 and the end of 2016 that resulted in 133 acute injuries, of which 38 were severe.

    “Since the current generation of lithium-ion batteries is the root cause of these incidents, it is clear that these batteries are not a safe source of energy for these devices,” the agency said.”

    Because fire is perfectly safe?

    1. 195 out of how many e-cigs in use?

    2. The Other Kevin

      So were those Tesla drivers smoking e-cigs?

      1. Count Potato

        As far as I know Teslas use 18650 batteries. The same as most mods, and plenty of flashlights.

        The problem is there are tons of bullshit 18650’s — counterfeits, phony claims — on Ebay, Amazon, etc.

        1. Trolleric the Goth

          they do, just like 7100 of them

  10. RE: Female Miss America staff.

    I enjoy Miss America (whodathunk), but isn’t part of the whole process/appeal for people (male and female) to leer at genetically gifted women in swimsuits? Isn’t that exactly what the #metoo squad is trying to eliminate?

  11. Just Say’n

    How rough is it to die due to an exploding vape pen? Imagine having to explain that cause of death

    “How did Jimmy die?”

    “He was smoking a robotic penis”

    Just smoke cigarettes, kids

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        I’m not listening to any propaganda from the commie space pope.

  12. Nephilium

    Glib BIF news. Initial e-mails have been sent. If you did not receive an e-mail then I don’t have you on the list of participants.

    1. Just Say’n

      BIF news?

      “Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here”

    2. That’s okay, you don’t want me in a beer group.

    3. TK

      What is BIF?

      1. Tonio

        ^This.

        1. Galt1138

          Did someone say beer?

      2. The Other Kevin

        Pfft. You don’t know what BIF is? Well if you don’t know, I’m not gonna tell you.
        * Leans over to Q, asks quietly what BIF is. *

        1. Don’t ask me.

          1. C. Anacreon

            Bottle In Front-a-me.

      3. SP

        /thinks about enlightening them, decides not to

        1. TK

          Well I don’t want to be part of your stupid club anyway!! *picks up ball and goes home*

          1. Just Say’n

            You should really be bummed about it, because it sounds really cool and is definitely not lame

          2. SP

            Hint: SP would never under any circumstances participate in this project.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            I’m almost ready, 3 more to pick……

        2. MikeS

          I’m with you. It’s kind of fun to watch.

          1. Nephilium

            This may now be one of my favorite threads.

      4. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Big Impregnated Furries

        1. Rasilio

          I hear there are websites for that

        2. Chafed

          Thanks for conjuring HM.

        3. totally_not_an_escaped_ai

          And there’s another item added to the “think about to not cum” list. NTTAWWT

    4. Rasilio

      BIF?

      1. Chafed

        Beer It Forward.

    5. Wish I could really drink beer. Does a number on my GI system.

  13. I saw this show exactly once and thought the guy being accused was gay.

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/mtv-suspends-catfish-in-light-of-sexual-misconduct-claims

    1. MTV still exists?

    2. Florida Man

      It’s fun to watch for the handful of times the other person is real.

  14. Count Potato
    1. Chafed

      I’m delighted to say I have no idea what he is talking about.

  15. Just Say’n

    https://soundmoneyproject.org/article/power-and-main-threat-liberty

    Good Jeffrey Tucker article responding to a review of his new book “Right-Wing Collectivism”

    This is the money shot, in my humble opinion:

    “Cosmopolitanism does indeed describe the ethos of the marketplace, which is precisely why Ludwig von Mises invoked the term in his 1929 book Liberalism. My concern here: the word works as a descriptor but not as a moral imperative. I see no reason to look down on people who cling to rural life, prefer to be around their religious tribe, and even (shudder!) like to speak with people of their own language and race. This can come from a decent place in the human heart and doesn’t necessarily reflect a fascistic political impulse. Peaceful trade does drive the world toward integration, this is true, but inner loyalties also tend toward preserving differences among people. To condemn this in whole strikes me as intolerant.

    Nor do we need to overlook the complex relationship between tribe and cultural and demographic diffusion. In a free society, everyone can develop different forms of attachment: one pattern in commercial life, one pattern in domestic life, one pattern regarding faith and family. There is no real threat here to liberalism. In fact, I don’t know why this should be so complicated: the rule is that anything peaceful goes. No amount of moral cajoling will succeed in forcing people to give up attachments of the human heart. The consistent defender of freedom needs to have the wherewithal to stand up for the rights of all forms of peaceful preference, even that which contradicts his or her preferred aesthetic.”

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      No, we must have agreement on all things.

      1. Just Say’n

        I disagree. Burn the witch!

      2. invisible finger

        Especially MY side of things.

    2. wdalasio

      My concern here: the word works as a descriptor but not as a moral imperative

      Nick Gillespie hardest hit.

    3. commodious spittoon

      No amount of moral cajoling will succeed in forcing people to give up attachments of the human heart.

      Cults are pretty good at that. The progressive cult especially: do your parents harbor unenlightened views? Does your father insist on the sovereignty of Israel? Does your mother have trouble remembering your preferred pronouns from week to week? Do they ask whether you’ve considered changing your major from queer studies to something they call marketable when you go home to pick up your allowance? Better sever ties and bitch about them on DU!

  16. First of all, don’t let your orphans go to school; second of all, if you’re going to use them as drug mules, make sure you take the proper precautions.

    http://6abc.com/kindergartener-finds-bag-of-cocaine-in-classmates-backpack/3484646/

    1. Did the classmate share with everybody?

      1. Rasilio

        No the teacher had to confiscate the contraband

        1. School Resource Officer made sure it was locked up in the “evidence room”

  17. TK

    Suuuurrrrre, it’s healthier to quit smoking cigarettes. Older story but amused me.

    Re: Vaping. A couple years ago, while I was asleep, I knocked my old vape off of my nightstand. It woke me up. Good thing it did too, because the damn thing started hissing, very very loudly. I looked down and saw that there was smoke coming from my vape and it something oozing out of the battery compartment. The damn thing was melting my carpet!

    Luckily I was able to pick it up and remove the battery before it exploded/caught fire. God knows what would have happened if I hadn’t woken up that night.

    I blame China’s shoddy products. Don’t get anything from KangerTech.

    1. Count Potato

      Almost all vaping hardware is made in China. I know plenty of people who are happy with Kanger stuff.

      1. TK

        I know most of them are made in China. I use Smok now, which I’m pretty sure is also Chinese. I will always steer people away from Kanger since, you know, one of their devices nearly caught on fire while I was sleeping.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Smok Priv Here, I play with Lipos in my R/C planes, some quite big, they require a proper charger with built in safeties,My Vape box has both Low voltage and High discharge cutoffs, as is should be,

          1. TK

            I dont really understand most of the amp/voltage/ohm stuff, so I dont build mods because I dont want pieces of a vape getting lodged inside of my skull.

            I just buy the pre-packaged non-custom builds because I figure they’re safer. Turns out not all brands are safe. I was surprised by my Kanger, seeing as how popular they are.

          2. Count Potato

            Which Priv? I’m guessing a G. But Smok made a half-dozen different ones.

  18. Count Potato

    “What do you say to a four-year-old white supremacist?

    It was Friday night, 22 February 2015. My friend Nuha (a Sudanese American) and I (an Egyptian American) walked into a restaurant in Jackson, Mississippi. Both of us are different shades of non-white. The scene could have taken place anywhere in America.

    The waitress seated us at the corner of the hibachi table, next to a white man who appeared to be in his mid-30s and his two young sons. As I reached to pull my chair away from the table, the youngest boy, the one sitting adjacent to my seat, looked at me and said: “White skin don’t marry brown skin, but it’s OK, you can sit here anyway.””

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/17/four-year-old-white-supremacist-racism-discrimination

    1. The Guardian – my credulity is low.

    2. LJW

      Things that never happened for $500.

    3. Brett L

      “Don’t worry kid, your cousins are all faster than you so you’ll die a virgin”

    4. ChipsnSalsa

      You wouldn’t believe the incredibly awkward statements that will come out from a kid. For a lot of kids whatever pops into their head comes out there mouth with zero filter. Passing thoughts that have never been uttered in their presence before come out like it’s oft repeated phrase in the house.

      Either way, probably didn’t happen.

      1. Old Man With Candy

        My sainted mother tells me that when I was about 3, I went up to a woman in a wheelchair and asked, “Are you a cowboy?”

        1. And? What was the answer?

          1. Old Man With Candy

            She snarled and ran over my foot. Taught me a lesson- never be nice to crips.

          2. What about Bloods?

          3. pan fried wylie

            Obviously wasn’t born a Crip. A Tru Crip woulda popped a cap in your ass.

        2. invisible finger

          You met Maxine Waters when you were 3?

          1. Old Man With Candy

            That doofus from Florida is the one with the cowboy hats, not Maxie. Are you saying they all look alike to you?

          2. invisible finger

            My monocles might be a little foggy. The orphans are slacking off as the temperatures rise.

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            He’s allowed, He’s one of{{{THEM}}}

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I actually remember asking my black babysitter why her skin was so brown.

        /confirmed white supremacist

        1. Enough About Palin

          When I was in kindergarten, I asked a black classmate’s last name was Green and not Brown. Got to see the principal about that. This was in 1963 Milwaukee, north side.

          1. Enough About Palin

            Add “whose” as needed.

          2. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

            When I was 3 or so, my mother took me to her job at a local bank. I, apparently, looked at her boss, who was black, and said, “Black Sambo!”

            This was almost surely due to the fact that, around a block from the bank, was a Sambo’s restaurant, that I can still remember, 40-odd years later.

            Mom was mortified. To his credit, her boss just started laughing, because he was a decent human being.

            Plus, this was the early ’70s–what was he gonna do, anyway? (KIDDING!)

          3. Akira

            The only inappropriate thing I used to say as a child (besides the typical “toilet talk”) was “Hey mom, look at that lady, she’s really fat!”

      3. Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yes!

        We’re waiting for the 3 year old to say something really inappropriate. On a lighter scale, she’s been calling every stranger Mom or Grandma/Grandpapa based on their perceived age. I don’t know why but it’s her thing. Women in their 30s seem to dig it and older women are really amused.

        Last weekend she called this attractive young woman (early 30s at most) “Grandma” in front of her husband. She went from smiling to this horrified expression while her husband broke down laughing. Poor gal but I got a kick out of it.

      4. I’ve got a cousin once removed who’s “biracial” and who my daughter hangs out with a lot, and the crowd around daycare is pretty ethnically diverse, so we’ll probably avoid any awkwardness along those lines. In our case, she’ll drop some horrifying string of profanity at the worst possible moment. Just like daddy.

      5. dorvinion

        One of my coworkers (immigrant from Mexico) was out and about somewhere with his then 4 year old boy.

        The boy saw a woman in black muslim garb and shouted “Daddy Daddy look a Ninja”

    5. invisible finger

      “The proper term is Untermensch.”

    6. Creosote Achilles

      I’m sorry, but had I been the author, I’d have laughed my ass off and replied, “Well, son, that’s mighty white of you.”

    7. MikeS

      The scene could have taken place anywhere in America.

      Right, because the entire country is filled with racist 4 year olds.

      Christ, what an asshole.

      1. Well, maybe it’s more accurate to say it had just as low a chance of actually having happened anywhere else in America.

    8. Suthenboy

      bullshit.

    9. Jackson? I heard Hattiesburg.

  19. LJW

    Video Shows Florida Teacher Allegedly Drowning Two Raccoons in Science Class

    I wonder what they’d find if they dug up this teachers backyard.

    1. Chafed

      What an asshole.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    the youngest boy, the one sitting adjacent to my seat, looked at me and said: “White skin don’t marry brown skin, but it’s OK, you can sit here anyway.””

    “I figgered you was gay.”

  21. Just Say’n

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dda4MszV4AAOupM.jpg:large

    Muh, take that you “libertarian nerds”. Yay- central banking!

    1. TK

      Joke’s on them, we don’t care how we look!

      1. Just Say’n

        Easy for a cat in a top hat to say

        1. Jarflax

          Cat avatars>human avatars

          1. Pan Zagloba

            They get all the pussy.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    In the statement announcing the new leaders, Miss America said the all-female team signaled a new era for the organization, best known for its widely televised pageants.
    “The induction of this all female leadership team signals forthcoming transformational changes to the entire organization and program, ushering in a new era of progressiveness, inclusiveness and empowerment,” the organization said in a statement.

    So- Diana Moon Glompers determines the “winner”?

    1. ChipsnSalsa

      Miss American pageant, now with more backstabbing and gossip!

    2. TK

      I wish her the best of luck in hiring based on sex instead of expertise and ability. I’m sure that this won’t end poorly.

      Reminds me of that one lady that tried to make an all female marketing agency or media organization (I can’t remember which), and it got so insanely catty and gossipy that she had to shut it down.

    3. Chafed

      Ooo a progressive, inclusive, empowered beauty pageant. Zzzzzzzz.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    What is BIF?

    He’s Chad’s roommate at the Sigma Chi house.

  24. Tonio

    SP, your powers are more than ceremonial. Content may be king, but without infrastructure we’d have to gambol across the hills and plains to seek out our fellow human beings to harangue them in person.

    /shameless sucking-up

    1. SP

      Awwww, you *do* care!

      (When you think it will get you something.)

      1. Just Say’n

        Everyone agrees with the sentiment, we just aren’t suck-ups like Tonio

        1. SP

          +1 subtlety

        2. Jarflax

          Speak for yourself! I blame SP for allowing SugarFree a platform.

          1. commodious spittoon

            She gives SF a platform the way prisons give wardens a platform.

    1. Someone failed Twitting.

      1. Raston Bot


        Seth Abramson
        ‏Verified account @SethAbramson

        141/ I’ve got to walk our dogs. Be back very shortly.
        2:47 PM – 16 May 2018

        Seth Abramson
        ‏Verified account @SethAbramson
        23h23 hours ago

        142/ I’m back. Here we go.

    2. Raston Bot

      some people are good at distilling the essence of a tangled argument into a few cohesive points the masses can consume.

    3. Raston Bot

      LARF


      Seth Abramson
      ‏Verified account @SethAbramson
      20h20 hours ago

      INTERRUPTION FOR BREAKING NEWS/ FBI agent Peter Strzok—who the Right has painted as an anti-Trump villain—PROTECTED TRUMP by ensuring that almost no one at DOJ found out about the Trump-Russia investigation, and therefore no one could leak it pre-election.

      ohhhhhhhhh okay. that’s why Operation: Crossfire Hurricane was kept under wraps and not because it was an insurance policy in case they needed a coup in the event of Hillary’s defeat.

    4. Just Say’n

      It’s not nice to mock the mentally ill. He’s not well

  25. invisible finger

    Socialist thinks raw materials will just magically show up.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/business-44136293

    1. Bobarian LMD

      Kellogg’s Skin Flakes.

      1. Bobarian LMD

        Kellogg’s Frosted Toenails?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Toucan Sam says “Follow your nose”

          Kellogg’s Poop Loops?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      “We’ve begun judicial proceedings against the business leaders of Kellogg’s because their exit is unconstitutional,” Mr Maduro told cheering supporters in the central state of Carabobo.

      Hotel California Venezuela

    3. Chafed

      Maduro is a monster.

  26. Count Potato

    “Women’s advocacy group calls on Spotify to remove Eminem, Chili Peppers, and other artists accused of sexual misconduct

    Last week, Spotify flexed its new hate content policy by removing the music of R. Kelly and XXXTentacion, two artists with a long history of sexual misconduct and domestic abuse, from its playlists and algorithmic recommendations. Now, women’s advocacy group UltraViolet is urging the streaming giant to do the same with other artists accused of sexual abuse.

    In an open letter, UltraViolet executive director Shaunna Thomas specifically calls out the likes of Chris Brown, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nelly, Eminem, Don Henley of The Eagles, Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, Tekashi 6ix9ine, and Ted Nugent, citing them as artists “who continue to profit from your promotion.”

    “Every time a famous individual continues to be glorified despite allegations of abuse, we wrongly perpetuate silence by showing survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence that there will be no consequences for abuse,” she writes. “That has a cultural effect far beyond one individual artist.””

    https://consequenceofsound.net/2018/05/womens-group-spotify-removal/

    1. Just Say’n

      Woah- you’re telling me that there are a lot of music artists who have done some really shitty things with women in the past? At least we still have Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

    2. TK

      Yes, go after the music. Then go after the movies. In fact, target everything that people enjoy and use to relax during their week. This movement is going to be so popular, I can feel it!

    3. PBRstreetgang

      Ok, the stuff about Bowie, Jimmy Page, et al. and the “baby groupies” (Lori Mattix, Sable Starr) is hella some messed up. 23-24 year old international stars (allegedly) banging 9th graders ? That just ain’t right at all. The 70s were really effed up.

      1. invisible finger

        9th graders are reserved for sexual exploitation by the teachers union.

        1. TK

          What about OMWC? Or is that too old for him?

          1. invisible finger

            Puberty is a turn-off for OMWC

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          And Polanski

      2. Pan Zagloba

        It’s harder to be transgressive when age of consent is 16, but they managed.

    4. Old Man With Candy

      + Led Zeppelin and the mudshark incident with the underage girl.

      Shit, no music left.

      1. I thought that was the Vanilla Fudge?

      2. Mad Scientist

        Rub it!

        1. And I think that’s Nanook.

          1. Mad Scientist

            Destined to take the place of the mud shark in your mythology!

    5. The Other Kevin

      At this point won’t it be easier to just have an “approved” list ?

    6. Rasilio

      Every time a famous individual continues to be glorified despite allegations of abuse

      WTF, they aren’t even trying to hide it now. They are demanding people be blacklisted and memory holed based solely on an unsubstantiated allegation

    7. Rufus the Monocled

      Spotify are such idiots. If there isn’t someone in the board room saying, ‘I think we fucked up’ then they’re really fucken stupid.

      Why in the world would you open that Pandora’s Box?

      The lack of wisdom is shocking with these companies.

      Woke > Wisdom.

  27. Mad Scientist

    SP, you are the queen of my heart.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Are you playing with the Queen of Hearts?

      1. Old Man With Candy

        Please hear his plea.

      2. Tonio

        Golf clap.

    2. SP

      I don’t know whether to be flattered or text your wife.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Can’t it be both?

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Trying for the menage et trois?

          Bold move, Cotton

          1. “I can’t be an orgy guy!”

    3. Tonio

      I considered saying that, but it was too blatantly suck-uppy even for me.

      1. Mad Scientist

        I try to set a bad example.

  28. Count Potato

    “This is the New York Times lying.”

    https://twitter.com/charlescwcooke/status/997067655726227462

    1. Gilmore

      CNN, the AP, others, are walking the “animals” outrage back today because they realize that the average joe (aka ‘not on twitter’) doesn’t give a flying fuck about calling ‘murderous el-salvadoran gang known to routinely murder teenage girls w/ machetes’ … “Animals”.

      The NYT and MSNBC are quadrupling down. Chris Hayes has gone-extra-batshit about it.

      The progs in NY media rooms were like, “This will totally own twitter”, but then realized that’s like 2% of the population and that aligning themselves with “tattooed gangs who chop up teen girls with machetes” isn’t a good look.

      1. Gilmore

        ^this is what happens when you type half a comment, go and take a shit, and then come back and drink a cup of coffee, find it still open, and go, “ok, better post that”

        1. invisible finger

          Made sense to me. But I shit mid-comment before posting too.

  29. Gilmore

    “What Men Think of When They’re Trying Not to Cum”:

    – Latest Fed meeting notes

    1. TK

      Or pretty much any feminist.

    2. Rasilio

      Lena Dunham

      1. Count Potato

        And stay hard?

        1. Rasilio

          good point

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Having your penis draw into your abdominal cavity seems an extreme way to extend the sexual act.

    3. Just Say’n

      Whaaaaat?

      Janet Yellen was hot

    4. Troy

      What Sugarfree looks like in real life.

      1. SP

        He’s gorgeous. Even Jesse says so. Why do you think SF is my favorite?

        OK, so maybe not your type exactly. But still.

  30. Count Potato

    “Starbucks Facing More Racism Allegations After Latino Customer Receives Cup With ‘Beaner’ On The Label”

    http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2018/05/16/la-canada-starbucks-racist-cup-beaner-label/

    TW: autoplay

    1. Raston Bot

      Carlos Mencia called. He wants his pejorative back.

      1. cyto

        Obligatory Tommy Chong song.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biFPi0rSgaA

    2. cyto

      There are 13k starbucks locations in the US. With what…. a dozen or more low wage employees at each location? And one guy screws up… allegedly…. and somehow starbucks is a racist company?

      Please.

      This was stupid when they did it with Denny’s, and it is stupid now.

  31. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Crazy ass cat lady who maintains a feral cat colony next door to y business just came in to complain that the cat she trapped for my mother is not inside my mother’s house anymore but in the barn instead.

    To which I rather impatiently responded “the cat bit her, it goes in the barn where it gets fed and visited regularly”

    She then proceeded to say that she never would have caught the cat if she knew that it wouldn’t be inside. Instead, she apparently thinks it would be better off in a feral cat colony where it doesn’t get veterinary treatment and is totally wild. She’s very upset over this.

    All of this when I tolerate the cats roaming over my property and occasionally setting off my burglar alarm.

    I almost told her that I put the cat down myself with a shotgun after it bit my mother. But, she’s nucking futs and I don’t need that shit.

    1. invisible finger

      Are cats really colonial animals in the wild? Being “colonial” only due to a human providing the easiest food source seems more abusive to their nature than hanging out in a barn. The cat probably has a better chance to thrive in the barn than the colony.

      1. pan fried wylie

        Barn mice + No Competition = Cat Heaven?

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Across the street, She feeds a Group of cat that then hang out in my Front yard, pissing off my Dog and Me, can’t kill em,
      animal Control maybe?

      1. TK

        Why must you persecute my people?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          You can’t be persecuted, you have internet, these cats don’t…

          1. TK

            So what you’re saying Is, its incumbent on me to speak for my people? I will accept this burden and register a twitter account immediately.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            One of your kind chose to live with me, and is treated with Feline reverence, however the Homeless are a big problem, and feeding them doesn’t help anything, it just breeds more,
            You’re OK TK

    1. Galt1138

      Still. Would.

      1. cyto

        Uh… she’s 26. What the heck is your usual cut off?

    2. Jarflax

      I’d pay $5525 for her, you can keep the dress.

  32. Count Potato

    “Kremlin accused of funneling money through NRA to help Trump’s victory using red-headed Russian gun rights campaigner, Senate Democrats claim”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5741475/Kremlin-accused-using-NRA-funnel-cash-help-Trumps-victory.html

    1. invisible finger

      All I can say is the Kremlin is more interested in me getting to keep my rights than Democrats are.

    2. Florida Man

      Maybe I missed it, but how much money was funneled to the NRA? I saw how much the NRA spent.

    3. Florida Man

      I am specifically troubled by the possibility that Russian-backed shell companies or intermediaries may have circumvented laws designed to prohibit foreign meddling in our elections by abusing the rules governing … tax exempt organizations,” Wyden wrote.

      I didn’t think the NRA political arm was tax exempt.

    4. Spudalicious

      I’d hit it.

  33. Chafed

    Glibs, how do I read the linked Washington Post stories? I keep getting their ad to subscribe.

    1. Pan Zagloba

      Opening in private window sometimes helps.

    2. Bobarian LMD

      Links?

    3. AlmightyJB

      Clear your cookies. I just don’t bother.

    4. Gilmore

      right-click, ‘open in private window’

    5. Derpetologist

      Hit control+a as soon as the page loads, then control + c, then paste it into notepad. It’s how I get around paywalls and deal with sites that take forever to load.

      1. Chafed

        Thanks and to Gilmore too. How about on a phone?

        1. Derpetologist

          Depends on the type of phone. On an Android, menu+a is the select all text command. Just google “select all command [your phone type]”. You’ll see what to do.

          1. Chafed

            Thanks Derpe.

    6. straffinrun

      Bashing yourself in the head first seems to help.

  34. Derpetologist

    adventures in poor judgement

    Hawaii volcano emits massive cloud of ash into sky, but golfers seem oblivious
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/05/17/hawaii-volcano-emits-massive-cloud-ash-into-sky-but-golfers-seem-oblivious..html

  35. Gilmore

    Brendan O’Neill has kept this list of “Things I believe” and had it publicly available for years and years… and occasionally updates it.

    Its a very smart move for a journalist frequently accused of being part of “the other team”.

    If only other journalists would do they same so you could point their their own hypocrisy when they attack others for believing those very-same things. Its sort of similar to Reason’s “Who did we vote for” stuff, but better, in that it specifies a variety of position points

    1. straffinrun

      End the entire ideology of race and recover the humanist outlook that says our similarities are more important than our differences.

      That’s a great way to get attacked from both fringes.

      1. End the entire ideology of race and recover the humanist outlook that says our similarities are more important than our differences.

        Easy for a privileged white male to say.

  36. Derpetologist

    There’s a plan to use mammoth DNA to create hybrids with Asian elephants. The creatures will then be introduced to the Siberia, where they will knock down trees, which will cause the areas to become colder.

    http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/05/17/could-reviving-woolly-mammoth-genes-fight-effects-global-warming.html

    1. Jarflax

      This plan sounds as scientific as the interstellar octopodes from yesterday

    2. J. Frank Parnell

      I have a plan to use saber-tooth tiger DNA to create hybrids with mountain lions, then use those to thin out the massive herds of mammoths rampaging across Siberia.

      1. pan fried wylie

        I have a plan to use megasloth DNA to create hybrids with tree sloths, then use those to start an animated film franchise with the previously mentioned Siberian hybrids.

      2. Gadfly

        And I have a plan to use Neanderthal DNA to create hybrids with Russians who will then be used to thin out the massive herds of tigers and mammoths teaming up to destroy the world.

  37. Rufus the Monocled

    What’s with the Diana boys marrying North Americans?

    Royalty = Fantastical Wizards, gnomes and unicorns.

    I bow to fucken no one.

    1. KibbledKristen

      Kate Middleton is North American?

      1. Chafed

        My thoughts exactly.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Brain cramp. for some reason I thought she was from milk Ontario.

        Just goes to show you how much I follow this stuff.

    2. Chipping Pioneer

      I’d be good with the monarchy if they had real power and were strict constitutionalists (i.e., “Fuck you, Parliament and Courts, that’s not what it says. That shit ain’t happening.”)

      Now, if we only had a decent constitution.

      1. Chipping Pioneer

        Which reminds me of a good post idea: How is the Bill of Rights Superior to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms? Let Me Count the Ways.

  38. Jarflax

    Going completely OT for a second to ask my fellow cooks a question.

    I bought a food processor yesterday (cheap HB) because it was on sale and I was at the store buying Jambalaya ingredients, and the one part of cooking I dislike is dicing large amounts of vegetables. I’d never used one before, just always sucked it up and hand diced veggies. Even using the correct blade and trying to avoid over processing it reduced 80% of the veggies to a slurry and left 20% as big hunks. The Jambalaya is much less flavorful than usual also, which I attribute to the volatiles cooking out of the veggies too rapidly due to being over processed. Have others had this issue with food processors?

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      It seems to blend up my orphan limbs pretty decently well.

      No complaints.

    2. KibbledKristen

      I think quality/price really make a difference with food processors. I only use my for large volumes when I really need to chop the shit out of stuff (like onions – I hate onion cut to larger than pea size). Mine is an el-cheapo model. I don’t think I would use it to get a nice even dice. Mine might even be an HB, come to think of it.

    3. My cheapo job has those shredding slicing blades that sit on top and you remove the processing blades at the bottom, does a decent job of not pulverizing carrots and celery and such, I use it mostly for cole slaw size stuff I don’t think it will ‘chunk’ though.

        1. I gotta say I am shocked that you of all people would be promoting those cheap ass sharpening systems.

        2. If you want to take it to lightsaber-sharp, check this out. I use one to sharpen all my knives, followed by stropping with an old leather belt and stropping compound, depending on how much of a polish I want on the edge. Not only can I get a shaving-sharp edge (if I want one) but I find that the 6000 grit side gets you damn close to a mirror finish.

    4. Also, think about a good mandolin, many have setups to give a uniform 1/8″ to 1/4″ dice. and you can play Maggie May when you’re not cooking.

    5. I’ve got a Cuisinart, and I barely use it. I’ll use the slicing attachment when I do carrot soup and don’t want to spend half an hour slicing carrots, but if I use the chopping blade and try to deal with any significant volume of vegetables, it just turns them into a wet paste. If you’re trying to make stuff like salsa it’s great, but if you’re just trying to chop a lot of vegetables and consistency is important, it’s useless.

      I second the mandoline recommendation, with the caveat that you use the guard it comes with. Trust me, the moment you don’t you will shave a piece of skin off your knuckle with a blade covered in onion juice, and you will never, ever make the same mistake again.

  39. Derpetologist

    this seems familiar…

    https://www.jacobinmag.com/2018/05/afghanistan-saur-revolution-communists-soviet-intervention

    ***
    As part of the Cold War, Russian and American aid paid about 80 percent of the civil budget and most of the military budget. The Russians paid about two thirds, and the Americans about a third. There was very little industry or economic development. The aid money went to the army, schools, and the civil service.

    Some of the Communists were cruel by nature. More were like Tahir, decent people who wanted a better world. Once they began to impose socialism against the opposition of a majority, they were lost.

    The idea that Communism or socialism required a dictatorship by a minority was widely accepted among radicals in the 1960s and 1970s. Karmal had learned his politics in prison in Kabul, Taraki had learned his in Bombay, and Amin had spent years in New York. The Afghan Communists were simply doing what the Left globally knew had to be done if they really wanted to change the world. Their tragedy is, in an acute and terrible form, the same one replicated elsewhere.
    ***

    Leftists never learn.

    1. Chafed

      And never will.

    2. Tonio

      “Some of the Communists were cruel by nature.”

      If only the right people had been in charge.

  40. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Damn that Trump, talking shit about MS-13 members…the media has lost their damn minds. They’re flat out lying about what was said and it’s easily verifiable, all you have to do is watch the video.

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trump-calls-some-immigrants-animals-adds-we-have-break-families/amp

    And here:

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2018/05/16/trump-calls-undocumented-immigrants-animals-echoing/617762002/

    This is intellectual dishonesty at its worst.

    1. Mustang

      Soon as I heard him say that I knew this is what would happen. I could actually hear my immigrant prog friend screeching across a continent.

    2. Spudalicious

      Every one of those reports comes with the aroma of desperation sweat wafting from the screen.

  41. Chipping Pioneer

    SP: Shiksa Princess?

    1. Chipping Pioneer

      Or Shiksa Preteen?

  42. Derpetologist

    interesting

    ***
    Thirty-seven percent of Americans are satisfied with the way things are going in the United States, the highest rate since 2005, according to results of a Gallup poll published Thursday.
    ***

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Thirty seven percent is the highest? That not good.

      1. straffinrun

        “Are you satisfied with your own life?”

        Bet that would be even lower.

        1. Florida Man

          I’m never satisfied. For me a full life is constant improvement. Expanding my mind, improving my health, experiencing something new. If I was completely satisfied, I think it would be kind of sad.

          1. straffinrun

            Depends how you define “satisfied”. In terms of eudaimonia, you sound like you’re satisfied.

          2. Florida Man

            I learned a new word. Thanks

          3. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Eudaimonia

            That sounds contagious

          4. straffinrun

            I wish.

          5. Count Potato

            It’s great for cleaning windows.

  43. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Aha!

    Found my equipment that got stolen on OfferUp.com

    Dumbass might have a real problem now, if I can get the cops to cooperate.

    1. Chipping Pioneer

      Never call the cops.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        If they shoot him, I’m not sure I’m going to mind.

        1. Florida Man

          Yeah, thieves are near the bottom of my sympathy list.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I hate thieves.

        2. Chipping Pioneer

          Yeah, well, they’re just as likely to shoot you.

          1. BakedPenguin

            The cops just shot a guy a few houses down from a friend of mine.

    2. Mad Scientist

      if I can get the cops to cooperate.

      Good luck on that.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        He’s also a suspect in a grand theft auto from my neighbors.

        That might be enough to get them to pursue it.

    3. SP

      Idiots.

    4. commodious spittoon

      Have you learned nothing from The Juice? Get up in there brandishing, take back what’s yours.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Then stick their heads on pikes in your front yard as a warning to others.

  44. Heroic Mulatto

    E

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Gad?

      1. straffinrun

        Cup or GTFO

    2. straffinrun

      I was told there’d be no eye tests.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        “Optomertry’s hard!”

        Dr Barbie, OD

    3. Count Potato

      *puts on ambient techno*

    4. AlmightyJB

      Z

  45. Sean

    For dinner tonight, I halved an avocado and topped it with pizza sauce, a shredded 3 cheese blend, pizza seasoning, and pepperoni. Baked at 400 for 10 minutes, added some crushed red pepper flakes and served with a glass of cheap cabernet. Delicious and keto friendly.

    /let the avocado hate begin

    1. Florida Man

      Interesting. I usually fill the cavity left from removing the pit with cottage cheese salt and pepper.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I’d try that. I’ll put pizza toppings on grilled chicken sometimes as well.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Hm… do they still serve the Double Down? Only 17g net carbs…

      1. AlmightyJB

        I haven’t had kfc for years. They haven’t been good for decades.

        1. Spudalicious

          ^ ^ ^

        2. straffinrun

          KFC comes in bucket so you have something to puke in when you’re done. /ht some comedian

    4. Spudalicious

      The only avocado hate I’m seeing is what you did to it.

      1. Sean

        Ha! I don’t like guacamole and I like to make different different things with avocados. I’ve seen some interesting recipes for avocado chocolate mouse i want to try.

        1. Spudalicious

          Now that sounds interesting.

        2. I’m not saying I wouldn’t try it, I’m just saying that in my mental framework avocado is only ever one of three things: guacamole, a kind of savory peach variant that you eat by itself, or a topping.

  46. John Kasich, awful or terrible?

    I’m willing to hear both sides.

    1. He has cut and then fought to keep my state income tax to Zero.zero%, and as an greedy and heartless libertarian that’s all I care about. So, Yay! Kasich!

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Under $11K of taxable income. I assume The Hyperbole claims many many orphan dependents for his homebuilding mines. Unless his original statement was, well, hyperbole.

        2. Jarflax

          Ohio has no income ax on business income under $250k. Wages are taxed, but not business income. It means every year I get a refund from Ohio (I have some w2 income) and owe the IRS a fortune (I have more schedule c income). Ohio is a very business friendly State. LLC filing fee is one time $99, single member llcs have full protection by statute etc.

          1. This^^ I don’t understand it all, just sign where my accountant tells me to and send in checks, according to him Kasich either supported or pushed to expand the exemption from 50% to 100% up to the $250k. It’s similar to some stuff in Trumps tax plan, although Trump eliminated some deductions so it’s close to a wash for me on the federal level, I may save a couple hundred dollars next year.

    2. AlmightyJB

      I hate Kasich. I hate Dewine. I hate Cordray.

    3. Spudalicious

      Full on arrogant douche. He was reasonably tolerable until he becameon a devout proggy.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        He’s a man of the people, his father was a mailman you know.

    4. AlmightyJB

      He once demanded Blockbuster pull Fargo off their shelves because of the wood chipper scene. To their credit they told him to pound sand.

      1. I know. Hilarious. What a dick.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Ow yah. Fur shure.

      2. Rhywun

        I’m reminded of Giuliani. Sure, he kept a lid on the crazies in city council pushing their leftist agenda for eight years but the philistine dared object to Piss Christ and that was simply unforgivable.

  47. Gustave Lytton

    Was this posted yet, with SP throwing red meat out there?

    https://youtu.be/P0DK-0fIKCw

  48. AlmightyJB

    Racism not as bad when Europeans do it. Also, this guys full of shit.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44158098

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Have you ever heard of a Baseball, Basketball, or (American) Football game being so disrupted by a race riot in the stands that further play had to be canceled?

      Me neither.

      1. commodious spittoon

        The bananas are for potassium, silly.

      2. AlmightyJB

        Yeah, they take their tribalism seriously.

      3. We love our half-black athletes until they’re lousy and get to thinkin’ things like that Kaepernicus fella.

      4. Chipwooder

        I have….in the 1800s.

    2. creech

      Sure, white vagrants, white shoplifters, strange white folks leaving suburban houses, etc. are never, ever reported to or hassled by the cops.

      1. Akira

        Some people really believe this, and it irritates the fuck out of me.

        Sure, most people who get shot by police are black. But just because blacks are the largest category doesn’t mean that the people of other races shot by the cops are any less important. By this logic, I could say that homicides, suicides, homelessness, incarcerations, and workplace deaths are strictly male issues because males are vastly overrepresented in all of these things.

        And if you misdiagnose the problem, you’re not going to come up with the right solution. A lot of people are stuck on this idea that unjustified police violence is a race problem, so they’re missing the real issue at the core of it – the union that jumps in and saves the murderous cop’s job every time.

    3. J. Frank Parnell

      In the American discourse, a supposedly inherent danger or criminality of black bodies would have been used to justify the police’s killing of Duggan and present the riots as an inevitable by-product of a “culture of crime”.

      … and there’s the tell that everything he knows about racism in America is from articles by Coates.

    4. Juvenile Bluster

      NotWokieLeaks said it the other day, and it’s true. The US is the least racist country in the world. And in my mind it’s not particularly close.

    5. Chipwooder

      Trayvon Martin wasn’t killed by police

  49. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Man visited by police after posting pics of morel mushrooms on Facebook:

    http://truthinmedia.com/maryland-man-police-pictures-morel-mushrooms/

    At least no one got shot.

  50. AlmightyJB

    No mention of the future collapse of our government’s Ponzi schemes.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44151642

  51. AlmightyJB
    1. Just Say’n

      What she meant to say was “I was pissed that he dumped me and starting going out with this other bitch so I thought I’d get back him by falsely accusing him of rape. I didn’t realize it would blow up in my face and I’d get in trouble. It’s not fair. Why did he dump me? Am I not pretty?”

    2. Gilmore

      “””I never told [Cotto] I was sexually assaulted,” Yovino testified. “I told him that something happened in the bathroom at the party with these two guys, that I didn’t want to happen.””

      ffs

      when you fuck around a judge like this, you’re going to end up getting the book thrown at you.

  52. Just Say’n

    I work in a white collar profession that use to be associated with center right politics, but since Trump’s election I’ve noticed a definite shift in people instinctively taking Democratic positions on issues that everyone in that field use to favor the Republican position on (like tax cuts and deregulation, for example). It’s gotten to a point in most white collar fields that if you spout a position that is not held by Democrats you are assumed to be an idiot. I’ve never seen American politics so divided by class more than anything else.

    1. RAHeinlein

      I note this as well. A significant contributor to the Democratic-default is that few defend Trump’s positions.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        I haven’t seen this but I’m in the South. Supporters of various Republican positions have been emboldened around here from what I’ve observed.

    2. Semi-Spartan Dad

      I don’t know that the Repubs have lost ground on issues, but the Dems certainly have gotten louder. I’ve yet to hear a conservative initiate a conversation about politics in the office, but the Dems have ramped up tenfold since Trump came on the scene.

    3. Definitely true where I am, though I’m in a blue state working for a state university in an environmental agency with a bunch of feds. The big difference I’ve noticed is that there’s an obligatory two minutes hate type of thing with Trump. Like any time anyone mentions Trump or anything related to him they have to make a sign to ward off the evil eye and spit. If you’re anything less than disgusted it’s a cause for concern. It has definitely exposed the divide between the smart, Democratic, environmentally-responsible regulators and the dumb, Republican, greedy, stupid, and/or evil targets of regulation.

    4. Rhywun

      I don’t talk politics at work, because I’m not a crazy person. And I’m in finance/insurance – hardly a hotbed of lefties. I am just pretty private except with friends I guess.

    5. I just moved from a 300 person office to a 4 person office in a creative field.

      One guy is a Sanders supporter, but he’s super cool about it and politics in general. The other I think is Anti-Trump but we just had a discussion about anarchy in which he talked about what it really meant (not violence) and basically giving people freedom without much interaction from government at all because they tend to make things worse.

    6. Lachowsky

      I work in a steel mill that is unionized and most of the guys here are in the tank for Trump. 20 years ago this place would have been blue dog democrats. Not so much anymore.

      1. creech

        So why did the cong. district that voted 20% margin for Trump go Democrat in the recent special election? Was the Dem candidate that great and what did he do that the national Dems are likely to copy in Nov.?

    7. J. Frank Parnell

      Do you think they actually believe the Democratic positions or do they feel pressured to social signal?

  53. straffinrun

    American Beauty came out when I was late 20’s. Now I understand that movie. Hot young co worker. The fantasy would not match the reality.

  54. slumbrew

    If she’s a co-worker it’s not quite an American Beauty situation – she’s not exactly your daughter’s high-school schoolmate.

    It’d just be regular disappointing, not jail-time disappointing.

    1. straffinrun

      True. I’m just talking about that silly idea that I’d ever try to fulfill a fantasy, knowing it would be disappointing. Apart from the cliche secret nazi neighbor is actually gay, I liked the movie.

      1. slumbrew

        Yeah, “he’s really ghey” annoyed me to – too trite. Good flick otherwise.

        Now I’m curious – who’s the one with the fantasy, you or her? Is this young thing hot for your old bones?

        1. straffinrun

          I’m almost 50. She’s early 20’s. It’s just eye candy for me.

          1. CPRM

            Ew, you’re old.

          2. slumbrew

            I’m almost 50. She’s early 20’s. It’s just eye candy for me.

            You (we) are in the prime of our lives – she should be so lucky!

  55. CPRM

    Guy Faux only had the wrong motivation.

  56. Yusef drives a Kia

    OK 2 Bowie songs to do , which two?
    TVC15
    Heros
    The man who sold the World
    Ziggy Stardust
    Suffragette City

    1. J. Frank Parnell

      Ziggy & Suffragette

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        OK, that’s one, TY Sir! We are taking a show to the Slabs, Makeup and everything!

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Ziggy and The Man Who Sold the World. Didn’t realize until the late 90s that the latter wasn’t a Nirvana original.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Cool 2 for Ziggy,

        1. Juvenile Bluster

          My second (outside of Ziggy) would be off of that list, but I’m guessing Under Pressure counts more as a Queen song than Bowie.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            I cried when Freddie Died, seriously, He was a Mentor like Bowie and Jagger a loss for us all..

      2. C. Anacreon

        Five Years. I never get tired of hearing that song.

  57. Juvenile Bluster

    Whoo!

    This afternoon my body decided to serve me up a crushing pain on the left side of my chest (discussed earlier). Kept getting worse, so I was forced by the wife to drag myself to the ER.

    One EKG, chest X-ray, and some bloodwork later, I’m home, and the problem is apparently the muscles around my chest, not my heart. My heart’s fine. Well, except for the high blood pressure, but I already knew that. Stupid genetics.

    I need sleep badly.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I just finished a huge set of Heart tests, and they said my Heart is fine, so what are my Chest pains? that’s got me freaked out

      1. CPRM

        My panic attacks have felt like heart attacks and strokes, it’s always fun spending hours in the ER to find out you’re fine and then having another panic attack when the bill comes…

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I have large pains in my Chest, and they don’t go away anymore, I’m Fucked unless I have a torn muscle, which is possible….

          1. CPRM

            You’re a libertarian; your heart is two sizes two small.

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            i am a Mean one………………..

      2. I just finished a huge set of Heart tests, and they said my Heart is fine, so what are my Chest pains?

        Nothing at all?

        /ducking

  58. CPRM

    I never really like Bowie; but always liked when metal bands covered non-metal songs. Here is Cold covering Space Oddity.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          YARG!

  59. Yusef drives a Kia

    Seriously, I’m out of Beer, drinking Coffee and my Dog keeps stealing my Jelly toast, what kind of First World problem is that?

    1. CPRM

      Not one I ever have. I’m allergic to caffeine and dogs and never run out of beer/