I’m not big on flying.
The whole experience is just bothersome. I hate being on a plane. I hate that there are other passengers. I especially hate when families with children fly.
No matter where I sit on the plane I’m always stuck next to the family with a toddler who is running up and down the aisles, a screaming baby, and a crackhead teenager who hasn’t showered since he hit puberty.
Emotional support animals were also on my list of things I hate about flying, but that is about to change.
American Airlines has new guidelines for emotional support animals. They now ban many animals, including chickens, ferrets, and anything with hooves (excluding miniature horses that are properly trained as service animals).
But these guidelines say fuck all about honey badgers.
I want to board a plane with my emotional support honey badger while I am rocking this t-shirt, and I will just sit there quietly as my honey badger savages any and every passenger and emotional support peacock that’s pissing me off.
(I’ve had a frustrating week, can you tell?)
In other news, I am having daydreams of a glib meetup where we are all rocking this shirt. Glibs Take Chicago, and we all flood out of Union Station wearing the honey badger shirt.
But, but… I don’t think someone who *is* a honey badger, *needs* a honey badger?
Couldn’t hurt to have backup.
Spoken like a mom.
I’m with you.
It might help with your squirrel problem.
Those fuckers
I hate all squirrels, well except for the flying ones. They’re kinda cute. T-shirt ordered. Former Badger state resident here.
Yep. My brother just caught a bunch that were chewing through his back porch.
T shirt ordered
I already have a support Honey Badger, Name of Bella, goes by Tuefulhund, or Scooter…..
“Scooter” doesn’t sound at all threatening.
OTOH, my Dad had a very large guardian dog who answered to the name that Webdom and my baby brother gave her: “Kitty.”
Those wacky kids would stand outside and call, “Here, Kitty, Kitty” just for the laughs when the visitors were shocked when the huge snapping and snarling monster bounded around the corner.
I named my first dog Kitty when I was about four.
My father hated having to yell Kitty to call the dog in. But he did it anyway.
Apropos. I’m flying for the first time in a decade next week.
Welcome to the suck.
LOL so f’in true.
Yeah I’m not looking forward to it. Except I kind of like the actual flying. But it’s for business and I have to get up at like 5am so meh.
Meh, someone having a dog next to me is vastly preferable to someone having their kid next to me.
I hate the whole airport/flying ordeal. It’s foul. It’s gross.
And I’m totally the sort of person to attract the worst kind of people to sit next to me.
They always want to talk to me
I have this gift – it’s almost a super power – where my demeanor is so off-putting that no one ever tries to talk to me. I don’t know what I’d do without it.
We park our cars in the same garage. I am quite skilled at discouraging conversation merely by the look on my face.
I despise it too- and I have 3 trips scheduled next month.
I haven’t flown since I took a trip to El Paso in 2011. It wasn’t terrible.
When I was a kid, my father, brother, and I totally rebuilt a 1939 Aeronca Chief. We flew that little plane around for years until it was destroyed in a strom. That was a ton of fun. One of my favorite memories was doing a ping pong ball drop at the county fair. People bought numbered ping pong balls and we took them up in a garbage bag.
We took the doors off the airplane, flew low over the fair and dumped the balls out the door. Whichever ball landed closest to the target won the prize. It’s the closest I have ever come to making a bombing run.
That is like a dozen permit violations right there.
If all seriousness, we taped over the tail numbers before hand. This was in the late 90s and was done at the behest of the county. I’m sure the FAA would have had problems with us if we were reported.
Heh I was picturing like the 50s or something, just based on the likelihood that the scenario wouldn’t be possible in any recent decade without some fines and/or jail time….
*Visions of Lachowsky as a crew member aboard the Memphis Belle*
That is a great plane I have flow many times. I dare you to try to stall it. Double dare.
It’s been a long time, but if I remember correctly, the stall speed was around 35mph.
#metoo
I have not flown in about 7 years, solely because of not wanting to deal with the TSA or the airlines. There’s been talk of sending me to India, so I also purposely have not have renewed my expired passport. It meant missing out on a company-paid business trip to the Bahamas in December, but I’ll accept that sacrifice.
If the company is paying for you to go to Atlantis, you should fucking go.
Why do I assume Atlantis? The giant conference rooms.
I haven’t flown in three years and have no plans on doing it ever again. TSA sucks, the planes are cramped, and it’s just a shit way to get from point A to point B. It’s a flying bus. I don’t travel for work (thank God) so the only reason I’d need to be on a plane is to get somewhere quickly, and if I’m on vacation I’d rather just drive and enjoy the scenery.
Mind you, lengthy road trips with a toddler aren’t all fun and games, either, but at least you don’t stand in line to disrobe. The whole deal with shedding your belt and pocket contents in a rush so that you don’t hold the line up and then having to run around with your basket of things, shoes in hand, looking for a place to put your belt back on, reminds me of Schindler’s List for some reason.
reminds me of Schindler’s List for some reason.
Feature, not bug.
OMG OMG… my flights next week are on little planes. I picked seats that are both window and aisle (!). I’ve never been on a plane that had a one-seat row, even the prop-planes I took on a puddle-jump from NYC to NH one time.
The last time I flew for personal reasons was 8 years ago.
I do occasionally (every 1-3 years) get told come down to Atlanta (division headquarters)
It wasn’t too terrible when I lived in the Chicagoland area since there is a flight to/from Atlanta every 5 seconds or so I could easily zip out in the morning and be back in the evening.
Now my closest airport is DSM which doesn’t have that many daily flights which is probably going to be a problem for me at some point.
On the plus side at DSM, the TSA lines are short, parking is cheap (not that I’m the one paying for it), the distance from where I parked to the gate was about 700 ft, and you are in the air less than 5 minutes after they leave the gate.
That’s what good headphones are for. And, not those stupid earbuds. But, something obvious, like Koss’ PortaPros.
That, and the death stare, will do the trick.
Rock on, Sister!
Although, the ground squirrel who made multiple attempts to leap from a shrub to our bird-feeder is also on my totem animal list.
I used to fly a lot. I would then jump out of the plane when it reached altitude.
I haven’t flown “commercially” in probably 30 years. Planes without seats were much more fun.
I liked snoozing on the net in the C-130.
I didn’t like being strapped into a C-130 with 63 other jackasses and 3 pallets of cargo and needing to piss like a racehorse.
C-17 is the only way to fly…..IF there are only six of you because your group is flying with all the gear for an entire MACS ATC detachment. Once we got to cruising altitude, I got my pillow and blanket and just laid out on the floor and went to sleep. Flying on C-130s was awful compared to that. Much bumpier, little room. PLUS on that trip we got a week in Thailand because the plane supposedly needed repairs that required a specialist from Boeing to fly in. I’ve always been convinced that the Air National Guard pilots rigged that shit because they wanted a free vacation.
During the Cold War my ODA was flying from Germany to Ft Devens for some planning. The C-130 warned us when they picked us up to get Icelandic money because there “an intermittent warning light” would come on while we were refueling in Iceland and that it would take 48 hours to fix. We did, it did, and we all enjoyed a layover in Iceland.
OTOH commercial flying on a US flagged airline is entering into Niflheim.
I will be flying to Fargo next weekend and I am not looking forward to the flight
’cause even if the flight is GREAT, you’ll still end up in Fargo.
I need an emotional support honey badger to go after the future Mrs. Regicide’s head of HR. I now understand Jackson’s desire to fight duels with anyone who insulted his wife.
And whoever merged and caused traffic to slam to a halt this afternoon right when I was checking my mirrors to change lanes, causing me to total my beloved GTI.
It’s been a rough week at Casa RegicidalManiac.
Damn man, that sucks.
It’s a crying shame that the institution of dueling has been outlawed in this country.
Dueling or something like it is common in places like Chicago and Baltimore.
I would happily have counted off places with pistols, but frankly I just wanted to beat him with a big stick.
To make a long story short, Mrs. RegicidalManiac-in-two-and-a-half-weeks had a spare magazine (but no pistol) at work and someone found out. That someone wasn’t bothered, her boss didn’t care, and she’s been a rockstar employee for this company, but HR wanted to have a word with her about it.
So naturally that fucker told her that they came very close to firing her, even though she violated neither the law nor company policy.
“violated neither the law nor company policy.”
Hoplaphobes are easily riled.
Yeah. The distressing part about that is the guy supposedly has his own carry permit and does carry.
My guess is that he’s a rights for me but not for thee type of prick.
How the fuck did HR even find out if nobody “cared”? Damn busybodies. They SHOULD have cited her for not having her pistol on her in case they needed the protection of a qualified markswoman.
The someone was a VP who reported it to HR, probably expecting it to result in a minor lecture.
I say “wasn’t bothered”, but maybe I should have said “wasn’t particularly bothered.” According to the fiancee he was slightly perturbed that she had a spare magazine at work, but didn’t find it threatening or anything.
Oh, and then her Great Uncle (who she was pretty close to) died that evening.
So naturally we tempted fate by saying that it couldn’t get worse.
It could.
How’s your bodily injury and property damage liability coverage? If the damage totaled your GTI then I’d say be prepared for the person you rear-ended to lawyer up and squeeze out a settlement close to the limits of your BI coverage with your insurance company.
Fortunately, my insurance is excellent. I’ve been ponying up a truly absurd premium to Allstate for the last 7 years for exactly this sort of situation.
And the damage on my car wouldn’t have been quite so bad if the vehicle in front hadn’t been an SUV. The height of the rear bumper was just barely high enough to really concentrate the impact force above the bumper.
My car’s probably totalled because of that, but the one in front got a pretty minor amount of body damage.
I’m pretty impressed with VW, actually, since that’s not something safety boards seem to test much and I still came out fine.
Yeah, most likely destroyed your core support and your condenser/radiator and hood, but if your GTI is new enough, it might not total. VWs don’t hold their value well, but a lot of times people see a fucked up hood and they assume total. Make sure Allstate inspects ASAP. Now, if the force was great enough to reach your engine…
I speak from experience being an auto damage adjuster with the gecko.
The process has already begun, so we’ll see. The damage is pretty ugly looking, but maybe it just looks bad.
The worst part is that this comes right before we have to cough up a bunch of money for the wedding, and we’re going to be out of the country for our honeymoon. A hit like this could hardly have happened at a worse time.
Are you still making payments on the vehicle? If so, best case scenario is positive equity, that way you’ll at least get some sort of payout.
I had a similar incident where I rear-ended someone and Geico handled it like a champ. I was hardly even aware I was being sued they handled it so adroitly, and all I had to do was sign some papers in the end when they completed the settlement. YMMV, of course.
Sorry for your troubles.
You know the only part that matters about a wedding is ending up married, right? (I’d come do your wedding for the price of a hotel room and dinner. Maybe a glass of Champagne.)
Yikes! Sorry to hear that. Glad you weren’t hurt. Although, with a totaled GTI, that may be small compensation.
If we are planning on going all in on the mandated emotional support animal accomadatiin stupidity, There is a family of bobcats living on place. I could trap a few and maybe bring a goose.
Geese are excellent watch critters
The Geese around here are serious pest.
Hate birds
They also make fantastic pastrami.
I had a goose that was better than any watchdog I ever had. Called out at the sound of any arrival and nobody messed with the honking flapping beak from hell. She fended off a pack of coyotes trying to take a goat. Well, at least held them off until I showed up with Mr. Remington 870.
Wolverines!
I can think of one Glib who will be triggered by that.
+ AlmightyJb
The only animals that scare the ever loving shit out of grizzly bears.
and buckeyes.
/ducks
Sloopy doesn’t hang out this late, does he?
Hooooooooooo!
They only scare me the week of Thanksgiving. Otherwise, they’re so rare in the wild, I believe it’s been 4 years since one was sighted.
Hey, those little fuckers are nasty.
We have lots of coyotes near our neighborhood. My wife won’t go for walks with me when it’s dark because the first time we did it, we saw a coyote casually looking at us from a side street. I had a walking stick with us (I keep it for exactly that reason), and coyotes are pretty small compared to me, so I wasn’t bothered. My wife’s barely over 5′ though.
I hate flying. One pleasant surprise on our recent trip to Arizona is that we had TSA pre-check designation. Keep your shoes on, keep your belt on, much shorter line. And we’ve never signed up for the program.
Another thing I hate is hardware store popcorn. I wish we could have intrepid investigators like these brave souls to stamp out the scourge.
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/lifestyle/people/sd-me-popcorn-health-20180515-story.html
Of course.
OTOH I had no idea “hardware store popcorn” was a thing. Well, it isn’t where I live.
Atwoods hardware stores give out popcorn around here.
And I shop at a couple mom ‘n’ pop hardware stores near me. You’d think it would happen there if anywhere. Then again it’s NYC so if popcorn ever happened it probably got beaten out of them decades ago.
OTOH every convenience store has a cat and leaves their doors open in warm weather which are both totally illegal so who knows.
Nobody usually eats the hardware popcorn. I worked at a small town hardware store in college and people are either too frustrated or dirty to give a shit about hardware popcorn.
That’s probably true. I have been in atwoods dozens of times and I have never eaten their popcorn.
I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with it though.
Why is it illegal to leave the door open?
commerce clause
Probably because all of them have a deli counter which leaves them open to all kinds of bullshit regs.
FYTW as with all health department regulations
I mean seriously, how big of a douche do you have to be to report a popcorn machine in a hardware store. Don’t eat the fucking popcorn. Just imagine how good this proggy douche feels when he proudly struts into the store and sees his handiwork.
I used to deliver various implements and attachments to farm equipment dealers across the prairie, as well as a few stints hauling fertilizer and grain in Saskatchewan.
Every farm equipment dealer and fertilizer distributor gave away popcorn and coffee.
I am proof that you can live on these two things alone for short stretches of time.
That’s pretty bad ass. And a good way to get scurvy
Scurvy is for pussies. And Limeys.
Limeys
ISWYDT
… Hobbit
Hauling grain, eh?
Not sure if ZARDOZ likes competition.
When I worked at a construction equipment rental yard, we had a popcorn maker and it was pretty popular. It was one of those old-timey looking carts that people served themselves from. We also used to grill up Conecuh spicy smoked sausages every Friday, which was delicious, and that would pack ’em in. This was in Foley, AL, where the local BP station also had free popcorn.
If you’ve never had Conecuh sausages, you should check em out. They are hard to find outside of the southeast (except for the Detroit area for some odd reason, according to their store locator) but you can buy them online.
I am from WNY, and we have hardware store popcorn here. I grew up on it. I would beg my dad to bring home popcorn every time he went to the hardware store. I was convinced it was better than all other popcorn.
We have a popcorn machine in our second floor kitchen, along with a hotdog machine. During the NFL season, the caterers fire both of those up and most people working on the pregame show take advantage. One of my favorite parts of working Gamedays.
I’d have left the machine in the store with a sign on it advising customers to thank CA’s government for saving them from the scourge of free popcorn.
Cheezus and rice. I just have to ask the Cali glibs: Are you absolutely sure the weather is really worth this shit? And, I get that it happens pretty much everywhere. It just seems like the asshole virus is stronger there.
And, dammit….I like you lot too much to see you put up with that fuckery.
What’s “better” about hot, dry, droughts, fire, water rights fights, etc. Aside from the NW right next to OR, I can’t think of a single area in CA where the climate is actually what I like (I’ve heard the Bay area is cool too, but not moving to an expensive shithole for decent weather when I can get far better elsewhere)
Believe me, I’m looking forward to moving after my wife retires. That said, the weather is pretty great to this Midwesterner (and our house is in a beautiful area NW of LA).
Now we go full speed and funky beat.
I’m with you
I would like to order some emotional support in the form of student loan forgiveness!
I’m triggered
I hope they don’t ban lemon whores.
Whores do taste better in lemon
WTF is this stupidity in Vegas.
You are going to have to be a lot more specific.
Vegas-Jets hockey. There was some ridiculous pre-game show with a “knight” and a flying, defeated “Jet”. Guh.
Are people who bring their entirely illegitimate emotional support monitor lizards or whatever unbelievably narcissistic or just dumb as fuck?
Yes
Very inconsiderate, to say the least. Same with people who bring their dogs into a restaurant (not the patio), and then make a scene when the restaurant owner tells them to take their animal outside.
I own and like dogs, but I’m not a fan of people bringing dogs to patios, if I’m being totally honest. For one, in my experience people grossly overestimate their own dog training ability as well as their dog’s temperament. For another, I don’t like strange dog fur wafting over to land in my beer or burger. For a third thing, I’ve seen a totally calm dog freak out damn near every week while being on a patio or other outside seating, because most dogs get stressed out by being taken to a strange place with strange people, loud, startling noises, and strange dogs, especially when you throw food into the mix. Finally, dogs get underfoot. That’s fine at your house or whatever, but when your Newfie is sitting in the middle of four separate tables and the server has to tiptoe between his sprawled-out legs while balancing an overloaded tray, or when I have to jump over your dog just to get to the head, it’s bad business.
Totally agree. Love my dog, and she is chill and well behaved, but I don’t take her to restaurants.
I have a dog and love dogs as well, but I agree with both of y’all. Especially about the loud, strange, and hooman heavy place being a stressor for doges. If the property owner wishes to allow them, that should be their choice, of course. But most health departments have already muscled their way into that rule.
Nastiest thing I’ve seen is someone letting the dog eat off the silverware.
entirely illegitimate emotional support monitor lizards
I’m sure there’s a Mr Lizard deep-cover operation going on here.
Surprisingly for NYC and like for food and drink there doesn’t seem to be any regulations against bringing your stupid pets onto the subway. Saw a guy clutching a dog in his arms the other day, no leash or anything. Now I am not a dog person so I moved away from that situation as soon as I could.
Sometimes it’s not so bad.
Awww boobkitteh
Did you see that viral video from a few weeks ago of that pit bull locked on some woman’s leg on the NYC subway? Good times.
Yes. I heard “she started it”, because gee I dunno maybe she objected to sitting next to a big, unleashed dog or something.
That was exactly it. She was scared of dogs and didn’t like some big ass pitbull sitting next to her in a confined space. She got into it with the owner and the dog attacked. Isn’t the rule on the trains that the dogs have to fit in a purse?
I don’t really know what the rules are, if any. A lot of this shit – like with food – should just be common fucking courtesy, but… you can imagine how that goes.
I found this:
So there you go with the “emotional support animals” hooey. A big giant loophole you can drive a subway car through.
I used to love to fly. People were decent, you could smoke and best of all, you could walk on or off of your plane as you wished until takeoff (sometimes).
Best story: When I was in the service we had to fly in our uniforms. One night I was coming home and just before takeoff the stewardess came up to me and wordlessly crooked her finger. Because I was a one-stripe enlisted guy I automatically assumed that I’d done something wrong. Instead, she moved me to an empty first-class seat. I enjoyed it by sleeping all the way back (just out of basic).
Today, there is no place I want to go badly enough that I am willing to set foot on an airliner.
… Hobbit
Uh. The only thing that has improved about flying in my lifetime has been the smoking ban. The first time I flew as a kid, I was trapped in a smoke-filled tube for hours. It was fucking torture.
I quit smoking by concentrating on how the smoke would make me sick. Afterward, I was very sensitive to smoke. To be honest, places with decent ventilation can suck smoke out of the way before you ever smell it. Smoking seats were aft, near the air intake, and I never noticed it. Our local bar/restaurant didn’t have separate S/NS sections and I would never smell the smoke from the next table over.
To me it’s more of a freedom thing (shrug).
BH
I used to very sensitive to it like when my mom lit up in the car or something. I beat that by joining it – sigh.
For all the smoking mom did around us kids I never picked it up, unless I’m drinking with an attractive woman and she steps out for a drag.
The worst is I didn’t pick it up from my parents. I picked it up from a college buddy.
Domestic flying really rubs me the wrong way lately, and I grew up flying on my own (age 6 and upwards) internationally for boarding school, etc. That said, an international flight from Hong Kong to Auckland or pretty much anywhere to Singapore (on a non-US airline) is a sure thing (5 stars if it’s Singapore Airlines).
#freedom
https://youtu.be/x85seLcwIAw
That’s gold, Jerry! Gold!
Oh, obligatory:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
Everything you need to know about Honey Badgers here.
If you haven’t seen that before, try harder at life.
^
I have, I swear!
;p
I feel like I’ve seen it somewhere before, but where?
Don’t know if I mentioned this, but I love your username, TH.
I linked to that in my post originally but went “naaah…they’ve all seen it.”
The Russia Collusion timeline article that NR did has this interesting bit that I wanted to note:
When the dossier first became public knowledge, it was CNN and Buzzfeed. Buzzfeed posted the specific allegations within it and did more damage to the Russia narrative than any other story before or since. CNN, however, continued to report on the story in the same way as the previous articles that used Steele as a source. They skimped on the details, and gave it the air of authority by how they classified Steele. Buzzfeed, ironically, proved itself to have more integrity in that particular matter than CNN which wanted to have its cake and to eat it, too. They just didn’t print the dossier because it was unverifiable (while simultaneously using it to run pieces attacking and framing Trump and his associates).
When some politician or political hack like Brennan makes reference to secret information that they just can’t share but which totally justifies their abuses of power, there isn’t enough scorn and doubt that can be directed at them.
I still kind of like flying, but then I rarely am on a plane anymore. I fly maybe once every three or four years, and recently it’s all for personal trips. I haven’t had to fly for work since 2009, which is OK by me. I couldn’t do what my father does – he still takes 1-2 trips every week as he has since the early ’90s, with a couple of years off ten or so years ago when he briefly had a non-traveling position.
Yeah, I have co-workers who fly every damn week. I can’t even imagine that.
I’m starting to get the feeling there’s a real possibility Vegas can win the Stanley Cup.
I think the Chicago Fire were the first (?) and last (?) expansion team to win a title.
I’m giving up on hockey if that shit happens.
Start mentally prepping. Winnipeg has home ice so maybe it won’t happen.
Gallant is a great coach.
I’m a hockey newbie but I’m beginning to question if there is any such thing as home ice advantage after watching DC play a few times. I’m used to soccer where home advantage is definitely a thing.
It definitely used to be a thing in hockey. Not anymore for sure.
There was an interesting article I read recently where Marty St Louis said something about preferring to play on the road in the playoffs because coaches would get obsessed with line-matching at home, always trying to one-up the other team. On the road, it doesn’t matter because the home team gets last change, so MSL said coaches would just play their best lines more.
UEFA basically admitted royal fuck ups in officiating during CL. VAR is a matter of time according to a rep.
I’m not one to go off on refs but this year was retarded.
I watch a lot of Bundesliga and I’ve decided that VAR is no good if you’re not going to use it. Same in MLS. This bullshit where they only look at it if there’s a “clear and obvious error” doesn’t cut it. And “game flow” is no excuse. I watch Aussie Rules where there is a LOT more scoring and every questionable goal is reviewed and it’s over and done with in like 20 seconds – not this 5 minute song-and-dance they do in soccer.
Arturo Vidal has quite a few comments on that.
I am having daydreams of a glib meetup
Mrs Hobbit and I will be touring the Midwest and Mississippi valley next month and will be traveling through known glib hangouts.
We’ll be in the northern Chicago area (staying in WI) around Tuesday the 5th and will be in Grand Rapids from the 7th thru the 11th. Then we will be following US31 to Mobile which will include a couple of days in Bowling Green. After Mobile we’ll head back to NM.
We’re keeping dates a bit vague because we’re wanting to take our time to see the local sights. If we’re passing through anyone’s area then I’d be up for a visit and a beer. If we can’t visit then pointers to local attractions would be appreciated.
… Hobbit
We live halfway between Chicago and Milwaukee. Keep me posted.
Especially if you are bringing any chile along. 😉
Red or green? Or Christmas?
BH
I still have green in the freezer from my order and roasting last autumn (I get a couple bushels via FedEx every year). But I am sadly bereft of red, and it’s practically impossible to find here.
E me at sp@ this website when you know your plans. Would love to meet you, no chile necessary.
I missed the morning links but thanks for setting up the website. If we can get together then I’ll bring you several bags of Chimayo’s best. What temperature do you want? I usually mix a bag of medium with a bag of hot.
BH
Love the heat, but I’d take anything. That would be so awesome!
Every single day, I regret leaving New Mexico.
The worst part about flying is CNN in the airport and the possibility of dying in a crash.
I’m only concerned about one of those things
Yeah, they never change the channel. At least put on CNBC or something.
Ugh same thing at the dentist’s office.
I get 70s pop hits at the dentist. Your dentist sounds evil as shit
Dayum your dentist sounds awesome.
Brian Shelter is a literal bag of dicks. It’s just a beige cloth bag with make-up and a remote operated mouth.
Change my mind
His favorite move: “Everybody is talking about this unfounded rumor, so we’re going to cover it.”
Like a bag of dicks. Exactly.
I do get a kick out of arriving in a Texas airport with Fox News or Fox Business on every screen.
Aso ridicules N Korean leader’s plane
“Aso has already faced a barrage of criticism for saying there is “no such thing as a sexual harassment charge” at a time when his ministry’s top bureaucrat resigned over allegations of sexual harassment against a female reporter.”
“
https://imgur.com/zbmAviJ
Whoo I can’t wait.
I do not fly domestically. If I can’t drive, I don’t go. Fuck off, slavers!
Now, if Italy is on the other end of the flight….
Flights to Europe are brutal. If you ever fly to Italy, don’t take Alitalia. It’s like flying with the DMV
Last time I flew to Europe was Lufthansa and it was great. But it was 30 years ago so maybe things have changed…
Flights to Japan are no bonus either. 12 hours from LA to Tokyo.
I’ve done the same but LA to Beijing. Holy hell never again. And it was even longer on the way back, like 15 hours.
The worst I ever endured was Bangkok to Frankfurt. If you look it up, it’s not supposed to be any longer than that flight to Tokyo was (a bit over 11 hours), but my god it never ended. Maybe we were flying into headwinds the whole way or something, but I swear it was closer to 14 hours, and I was smack dab in the middle of the middle section of a wide-body.
Thai Airways had cute stewardesses and complimentary wine in coach, though, so it could have been worse.
I think it was about 11 from from Dallas to Honolulu. That was pretty rough.
Denver to Chicago, Chicago to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Jo’Burg. 30 hours total flight time.
Fuck.
15.5 hr from Newark to New Delhi. Enough to get drunk, sober up, have a hangover and get drunk again.
Then in grad school, I flew from Mendoza, Argentina to Denver, then the next day Denver to Frankfurt. 3 continents in 3 days.
That was brutal.
I flew from Boston to Sri Lanka. Not sure how many days I lost or gained in the process. I was a very confused young man.
The last leg of the flight was pretty much this – without the hot chick in the next seat.
I always do time in terms of UTC instead of dealing with the International Date Line. Boston is UTC-5 in winter and -4 in summer; India and Sri Lanka are UTC+5.5
I would take the train from NYC to CLE next week if it wasn’t for business and they were paying for it. And it didn’t take an extra day.
https://imgur.com/a/LlWGFGC
https://68.media.tumblr.com/1f1535b53ba15e32444ddabacb380243/tumblr_opju7rwWNr1vlxvijo1_500.jpg
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https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/monday-shmunday-its-time-for-flbp-40-photos-40.jpg?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
Well Done Q! I’m in Heaven, or hell , cause they are unobtainable to me………..
I really want to know these women’s favorite colors, novels, vegetables. Do they have dreams? What character trait would they like to change. Let me know you better ladies. Let me love all of you and not just your bodies. Let’s grow old together and cuddle on a porch swing as we talk about our grandchildren.
Better than a honey badger.
Last smoking flight I took was a Taca Air in 1998 from San Jose, Costa Rica to Santiago, Chile stopping in every single country on the way down. When I got the ticket I looked at it and asked the airline girl, “es fumante, por favor quiero no fumante.” She replied “es todo fumante.” Okay, everybody’s smoking. Even though I hadn’t smoked in a couple years when I sat down between an old lady and a young Chilean couple with everybody lighting up I ended up bumming a few just to get in on the action. They rolled a booze cart back and forth the whole time and I got loaded and made friends with the Chileans who offered me a place to stay in their house for the nite as we were arriving there at 3 am on a Sunday. Which ended up being all kinds of awesome.
LOL – that’s how flying should be.
Indeed, it was fun. Ahh, the good old days of the 90’s.
*Curses and spits about post 9/11 air travel*
All the post 9/11 travel regulations are stupid as fuck. Nobody is going to allow a hijacker to commandeer a plane ever again, TSA or no. There’s a reason flight 93 ended up in a cornfield.
Can’t smoke anywhere cuz it’s bad for you. Squeeze an 12 year old girls tits? Safety.
Very true. The threat of another 9/11 ended on 9/11 and yet we are stuck with all of the bullshit feel good rules. That English Muslim shoe bomber fellow got laughed at for his absolute ineptness, but he was enormously successful in getting tens of millions of people to needlessly remove their shoes in airports for what seems to be a non-ending dance of security idiocy.
Btw, loved your story about dropping the ping pong balls Lach.
Thanks. That was a lot of fun for young teenage me. The winning ball was worth around 10 grand, I think.
When I think of that story, I always feel a slight twinge of guilt. When I dumped the balls out, a number of them caught the wind before the bag was totally out of the airplane and blew into the fuselage. A lot of peoples balls never had a chance.
I’ve heard helicopter rides with Chileans are a blast.
Late to the game, but here’s my contribution.
Haven’t been on a plane in about 2 years. The TSA has destroyed the experience.
Next trip — Portland at the end of June for the National Homebrew Conference. Flying first class all the way. Thank you frequent flyer miles.
Longest trip. Iowa to Singapore. Missed the connection in MSP (the fucking plane left early). Rerouted to LA then LA to Sinapore direct (18 hours nonstop). Arrived 8 hours late (so 32 hours in transit instead of 24). Two hours of sleep in the hotel before heading out to a major meeting with a customer. I did not fall asleep. One of my greatest career achievements. 😉
The man who will prove Russian collusion once and for all!
I may be misgendering here.
“Dude! Like totally hacked ‘n’ shit!”
Good lord what a load of horseshit.
“Wylie also outlined during his testimony how he believed it may have been possible for the Facebook data of American voters to have been obtained by entities in Russia”
Is it hard to get data that people freely put online that is open to the public?
I don’t take dudes with pink hair seriously.
That guy looks he just smoked a fat doobie. Good enough for CNN!
Wylie did not provide specific evidence of voter suppression campaigns taking place in the US. But when asked by Sen. Chris Coons, D-Delaware, if one of Bannon’s “goals was to suppress voting or discourage certain individuals in the US from voting,” Wylie replied, “That was my understanding, yes.”
Concrete evidence.
What do you expect? CNN employs a literal bag of dicks. It’s outrageous that they allow an animatronic bag of dicks to anchor their Reliable Sources show. The least they can do is put a disclaimer for viewers that: This Be No Man, But Rather a Bag of Dicks Masquerading as a Man
I wonder how difficult it would be to get CNN to come to my house by making up a fantastical story that will allegedly prove the Russian collusion once and for all. It would be fun to troll the fuck out of them by making up some ridiculous story interspersed with meme references that would escape their idiot reporters but be instantly recognized by the average Internet user.
Destination: FUCKED.
I’ll give webdonatrix some support! Wait, I didn’t read the article, I was too busy writing a drunken message to a girl I had a crush on in highschool. The internet is grand.
Earthquake. Sitting on a bench at a park, eating lunch. You can feel the small ones when you’re in a building, but not when you’re outside. Must’ve been a decent sized one somewhere.
The Ring of Fire seems a bit hot at the moment. We had a decent little shake here on the other side of the Pacific a couple days back.
Keeps ya on your toes, doesn’t it? The unzipping fault line in Turkey is horrifying. Instanbul would fold like a house of cards if it got hit hard.
If anybody dies, let it be Erdogan.
“I live on an island created by volcanic activity! How dare the earth continue it’s normal cycle whilst I’m alive!”
C’mon, give them a break. Check out video of the citizens in Fukushima after the earthquake and the people at the Superdome after the hurricane.
Because other people are stupid doesn’t mean I am. I live in a river valley that is invulnerable to tornadoes, earthquakes and floods. That’s kind of why I live here despite it having a negative affect on my career.
I’ve never experienced an earthquake. We only have meth lab explosions in the Midwest
Tell that to the people who lived through the Missouri land explosions.
I agree, my joke delivery could use some work
I’ve never experienced one either. However, I live about 15 miles from Ft. Chaffee. The artillery brigade stationed there and the A-10s from the airfield in Ft. Smith do their target practice well within earshot of my house.
http://5newsonline.com/2014/06/06/misfired-artillery-shell-damages-mans-home/
This was just a few miles from me a few years ago.
I felt a little one during my brief year in SF. It’s probably the only “act of God” just the thought of which terrifies the shit out of me.
I’ve cut down on flying over the last year. I will still have to pull one or two work related trips this year.
EWR to Tokyo is a bitch then from there to Manila. No directs to HKG anymore this year. Flying coach for 16 hour makes one hate everyone.
I would prefer a business class seat to a emotional support animal any day.
Yeah, my job is pretty firm on “coach only”. They’re pretty open with hotels, though. Thankfully they don’t make me stay in some fleabag. I’ve lived in a fleabag hotel once ugh.
Oh and I’ve worked in several.
I loved Coach.
I’ve stayed in a few fleabag hotels, but they are mostly pretty nice. I’m good with a clean bed and bathroom. Japan is good for that.
You have had more money than me. When that room phone rang and the breathy voice on the other side of the line huffed, “Do you want a blow job?” That’s the last time I slept with my back to the door…
Ahh, yes! Always be prepared.
“Nooooooo! Not the blowjob. Please, I beg you no. No slurpee the dickie.”
Another way to fly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VPvKl6ezyc
It seems there is a direct relationship between the amount of patriarchy in a country and how good of a time you have flying on its airlines.
I was hoping to find a “My Spirit Animal Is Your Mom” shirt. So far, no luck.
Yeah, yeah–CafePress…
Instantly bought won of these T-shirts for the girlfriend. Great post!