Previously on H3
Part 1: Introduction, Caveat, and Stakeout
Part B: Permits and Foundations
D’oh!
There is also a new inspection of the block walls as well. In the early days the masons would lay the block, back plaster up to the finish grade line, put in anchor bolts and if we determine it necessary, add rebar and fill cores to strengthen the wall. We would have the back plaster sprayed with tar and place sill seal and a treated 2×8 plate over the anchor bolts, tighten them down and we were ready for the framing crew. Now before we put the treated plate on we have to be inspected, the top course of block now has to be solid and every 6 to 8 cores rebar-ed and filled. The tarred back plaster is no longer good enough, now we need to have a rubbery membrane applied with a thin layer of foam stuck to that. It may be argued that these changes do in fact add value to the home, you get a stronger wall and better waterproofing. These things are true but ignore the costs, you can always build a stronger foundation, you could fill every core or use 12-inch instead of 8-inch block, you could pour a three-foot-thick solid foundation. Somewhere in that continuum, the cost of extra strength outweighs the benefit. Instead of dictating a minimum standard, which for all intents and purposes becomes ‘The Standard’, perhaps we should allow homeowners and builders to make that determination.
Stumps
Nowadays we still sell any trees Eli wants but we no longer are allowed to burn the brush, which as the development filled in makes some sense, however, it’s another one size fits all solution. It is a large development and there are still plenty of lots with no nearby homes, but no fires are allowed even if the nearest homes are hundreds of yards away. So we bring in the guys with the woodchipper, yes, yes, a true libertarian would have his own woodchipper, sigh. The state health department and EPA shut down the stump farm, seems stumps are a hazardous material once you dig them up, so the large stumps we must now have hauled off and disposed of in whatever approved method our tree guys use. I think that they are supposed to grind them up in one of those machines you see on youtube eating cars and couches and what have you. Again not a very big deal but you might have noticed a pattern by now, a little more cost here a little time wasted there, it’s like boiling a frog or a camel’s nose or some other animal related metaphor for slowly nickel and diming you to death.
Rodan!!!, what’s that …Radon?.. well that’s disappointing.
Lastly, before we start framing we need to get any underground plumbing placed and the basement floor poured. Not much has changed here, dig some trenches and a hole or two for grinder and sump pump pits, lay some Sch 40 PVC drain lines, have some Mexicans (some I assume are good people) do the work Americans won’t, and bingo bango Bob’s your uncle. Somewhere along the line we were required to add a vent for radon, a 4″ pvc pipe from the gravel base under the slab up through the roof. As far as I know, there have been no cases of radon poisoning or tests showing an unhealthy level of radon in the area, but vent it we must. It’s only a couple lengths of PVC and a tiny amount of labor, just one more drop in the ‘it’s not a big deal, whats the harm?’ bucket.
Framing
Okay now that we are back on schedule I’ll endeavor to keeps us on target, hopefully, my aim is true. Speaking of aim I used to be able to drive nails with the best of ’em. I could sink 16d spikes all day long, tap-sink tap-sink, or set a 6d finish nail just below the surface without a nail set and without leaving any pecker tracks. I don’t mention this to brag but to lament that I can no longer do so, I’m out of practice thanks to nail guns. In Part B when I mentioned that lasers were the biggest advancement in the trade I was surprised no one brought up nail guns in the comments. There is a good argument to be made for nail guns; for me, lasers edge them out, but just barely. My father bought our first nail gun back when we were framing that first house, but for various reasons, it took us a while to adapt. It jammed a lot, and dragging around our undersized and noisy compressor that wouldn’t always kick on in the cold was a pain, the hoses get tangled and trip you up. Within ten years or so we had fully integrated them, I must have a dozen nail guns now – framing, finish, pinners, staplers, roofing, one just for installing joist hangers and one just for hardwood floor installation. The sound of compressors running on the job site during framing is now as ubiquitous as Mötley Crüe blasting out of a battered and beaten Dewalt radio that fades in and out when it gets over 90° and you better not change the station because the tuner’s fucked and it took Randy twenty minutes to dial in WRKZ 99.7 THE BLITZ!!!
For the most part, the actual framing hasn’t changed all that much, 2×6 exterior walls have become the norm, and only the cheapest builders still use fiberboard or foam panels for wall sheathing. For a few years, the manufactured “I” joists replaced 2x10s, but they burn up quickly in a house fire so you are required to fireproof them which has made most builders return to 2×10 joist. LVL’s have replaced steel beams and structural screws have replaced nuts and bolts. Cranes, booms, and lifts have also become common, previously they were mostly considered commercial equipment and not often used residentially. We used to ‘swing’ trusses into place, and hump materials around the job site using manpower alone. Extension ladders and jacks and planks were constantly being set up and tore down to install second story windows and gable end sheathing. Now machinery does all the heavy lifting, it’s faster, easier, and most importantly, much, much safer- I don’t have any statistics but falling off roofs, planks and ladders has got to be the most common cause of job site injury. Certainly, there are extra cost involved but that cost is easily offset by the benefits, and it is a decision builders make, you aren’t forced to make these changes or use these tools, and yet most builders have. Take that, central planning tyrants.
There are two code related changes to our framing that I can think of. We are now required to use ‘hurricane straps’ to attach the rafters/trusses to the top plate of the walls. This fits right in with the running theme – small additional cost, doesn’t take long, adds strength that may not be necessary, should be left up to the homeowner and builder. We also now frame 2×4 walls around the perimeter of the basement, whether it is going to be finished or not, because we have to insulate the basements. Depending on the size of the house the framing and insulation can add a good bit to the cost, again might be a good idea, should be an option, not a requirement.
That’s it for Part III, in Part the Fourth we will look at the rough in plumbing and electric, and HVAC (none of those letters stand for anything) and I’ll regale you with the curious tale of how the exterior color guidelines went from earth tones only to ‘sure you can have white trim, just this once’.
Comments
287 responses to “The Hyperbole’s Homebuilding Hootenanny Part III”
Not THICC
An alt-text pizza recipe? Brilliant!
Question; is “allow to set at room temp for a few hours before rolling/tossing” a euphemism?
Also, Galaga might be the best arcade game ever…I need to think about it. Tron was pretty cool.
Battlezone. Gauntlet was a contender, because “Wizard needs food” but I always ran out of quarters.
I always hated Battlezone. Probably because I sucked at it. Yes, Gauntlet is certainly a contender.
Gauntlet…I still remember the intro music for that one, aaaaannddd now it’s stuck in my head….thanks, asshole. 😉
Fucken this. That’s all I played – and still do.
Galaga forever!
Galaga – no shooting cheat.
1. On the first or second stage, kill all enemies except the two leftmost bees (flies?).
2. Let them do their thing for 10 minutes or so (don’t die). Once they stop shooting you are good. Nothing else in the game will ever shoot.
3. Think of a funny 3 letter high score.
4. Profit.
The last place that had a machine was a bar I spent way too many nights at. There was a guy who spent the days there and we got into a friendly unseen competition for the top spot, we got to where you would have to have a really good game to take the title so if you had it you usually had it for a while. The day after I had just retaken the title I come in and he has beat my score just barely..weeks go by I finally best him next day he’s on top again, just barely again. This goes on for months I could never hold the title for more than one night. The bartender finally ratted him out. He was using that cheat, Melon Farmer!
Now you tell me!
Gyruss – if you could find it.
Joust or gtfo
Gorf.
Better than an alt-right pizza recipe.
Every recipe uses white sauce.
Pizza must not be cut into squares.
I like slices for thick doughy crust and squares for thin and crispy.
I have a Paslode framing nailer with an incredibly sensitive trigger. The gun is heavy too, so it will double tap easily. Any suggestions on avoiding this annoyance?
Keep your finger off the trigger until placed against wood?
Euphemism?
Are we still doing phrasing?
Be sure of you target and what’s beyond it.
Bump trigger?
I have only owned one Paslode framer and it didn’t impress me, too jammy and unreliable, I barely used it and gave it away after maybe a year so I’m not familiar with any adjustments you could try.
Loved it. Laughed out loud many times, but this is my favorite line:
The sound of compressors running on the job site during framing is now as ubiquitous as Mötley Crüe blasting out of a battered and beaten Dewalt radio that fades in and out when it gets over 90° and you better not change the station because the tuner’s fucked and it took Randy twenty minutes to dial in WRKZ 99.7 THE BLITZ!!!
Great stuff, Hyp!
Agree, that is inspired.
“There is a good argument to be made for nail guns”
The Wire made a good case for them.
So did Lethal Weapon.
That’s not as unrealistic as in the DOA remake where to bad guy shot nail across the room.
OT: John McCain, self-righteous vindictive shit to the end.
McCain defends giving dossier to Comey: ‘I would do it again’
Even knowing now that it was bullshit oppo propaganda paid for by the Hillary campaign.
You’ll get there long before me, John. You piece of shit.
You know, maybe this is John doing a last-ditch effort to solidify his legacy before he finally shuffles off this mortal coil. I mean, with his ego I think it’s believable that he’s counting on Trump being unpopular with enough people that his “maverick” legacy will be cemented in history if he goes out bitching about him to anyone who’ll listen, loudly proclaiming his own patriotism all the while.
It also makes me think about how Trump gets a lot of flack for being a boorish, tactless buffoon, which he is, but Obama didn’t get this much shit for the “God and guns” bit, or his pretty much perpetual contempt for the conservative working class. To the extent that Trump has behaved differently, it’s in kind rather than degree, I think.
To the extent that Trump has behaved differently, it’s in kind rather than degree, I think.
I think this is true. As others have said, Trump is the Al Czervik of American politics. Sure, he’s boorish and crude. But, the people who he’s at odds with have their own act that is just as (perhaps even more) offensive, taken on a purely ethical or moral level. But, the “in-crowd” makes a show of not acknowledging their own hypocrisy. And Trump’s behavior makes their act an even more obvious sham than it was in the first place. So, Eric Schneiderman can assault women he’s pressured into sex and, well, it’s just one of those things. But, Donald Trump talking about women willingly letting him grab their pussies and, well, that’s beyond the pale.
Well, on the one hand you have Harvey Weinstein, who allegedly pressured women into sex and did all sorts of horrid shit for years, and while it was an open secret in Hollywood (and out of it, apparently) he didn’t talk about it and so nobody said a word. On the other, you have Donald Trump, who allegedly paid women to maybe have sex with him and has a habit of saying crude things. Nobody would confuse the man with a gentleman, for sure, but I would think that Weinstein is at least as bad as Trump, if not worse, right? And yet some of the loudest voices attacking Trump for being a misogynist–well, if we’re being honest, accusing him of sexual assault–helped keep Weinstein (and his brother) out of the public discourse for years. And don’t even start with Bill Clinton.
but I would think that Weinstein is at least as bad as Trump, if not worse, right?
That’s exactly right. And it’s not just Weinstein. It’ s Weinstein and Schneiderman and Bill Clinton. It’s Ted Kennedy and Chris Dodd (Yes, I remember the stories of them trying to “sandwich” a waitress). It’s Matt Lauer and Larry King.
Donald Trump had consensual sex with a porn star and betrayed his wife in the process. From strictly a moral standpoint, that’s not cool. But, the people telling us we should damn him for it are people who have been complicit in systematic predation. Even Trump’s “grab ’em by the pussy” conversation was all about consensual relationships. When you get past the comment, he’s talking about a case where he pursued a woman, she said no, and he accepted that. We’re being told we should be horrified by that by a bunch of people who have shown they don’t have a problem with behavior that makes that look saintly.
The “different” behavior that most concerns people is acting like a normal person. Actually keeping promises, keeping the Deep State under control, doing things in the interest of the nation.
He is really trying to be remembered as a bitter old back-stabbing fuck. I’m going to honor that wish.
Is that what you call having sex with your wife of 20 years?
I haven’t really been following this shit too closely. Have any of the claims been verified?
Yes. That Donald Trump is a white male who resided in NYC.
I haven’t seen proof of residency.
If he’s smart, he spends less than 180 days a year in NYC.
I demand to see his birth certificate!
PISS HOOKERZ!
The funny part of the whole dossier is that it got laughed off as utter horseshit the moment its contents were revealed. Its only value was as a dossier of dirty secrets. It really would have been better off if all the dossier contained were blank pieces of paper.
He doesn’t know. He barely knows what time it is.
Where I live, it is pretty much guaranteed to have a radon problem and the vents are still optional.
As someone who is currently have a house built, I am really enjoying these.
I am, also vaguely terrified.
OK. I finally read the article. Again, very good! Moar, please!
What in the hell is the “science” behind this? Have they ever explained it, or do they just give you a FYTW?
I don’t remember, it was back when I didn’t pay much attention to that stuff. I’ll have to ask my dad if he was given a non FYTW resaon, he handled all the inspection/permit/code BS back then.
Possibly tannins leaking into the ground and running off into waterways.
Also, moar!
Best guess? Termites. Cant put termite bait within XYZ yards of a house. XYZ probably based on how far queens fly to make a new nest.
That is the only thing I can think of. It is horse shit of course but when has that ever stopped them.
Ahh, I bet that’s it. Living in the termite-free, Great White North, I hadn’t thought of a bull-shit, semi-believable excuse like that.
Termites are a real problem here. Warm, damp soil and lots of cellulose around.
I bet they are. There are actually a few benefits to -30F winters. No termites is one. No alligators is another.
And just think: if you ever decide to off yourself, all you have to do is get hammered and pass out in a snowbank!
I spray for termites religiously. My house had a wall that had to be replaced because of termite damage before I bought it. I don’t want them coming back. 7 years in, so good so far.
This is appropriate since we just found out the house we’re in the middle of buying, sprung a water leak underneath the slab. It happened, everyone presumes, because of something the contractor did when he remodeled the lower bathroom last year, but now they have to go in and repair everything.
I’m back to the joys of home ownership and I don’t even own it. But better to find out before close, rather than after, I suppose.
Ugh! I never run water supply lines under the slab, the plumber doesn’t like it because it takes more pipe and pre-PEX meant more joints to sweat. But if they are in the wall or ceiling I can get to them and fix any problems a lot easier than busting out concrete.
I like that about commercial work: if something leaks, it’s the property manager’s problem, and the property manager doesn’t care since we’ll probably be cutting up the slab within a few years when the next store moves in.
Yep. All of my utilities come in just to the side of the slab.
“I never run water supply lines under the slab”
My respect for you just increased exponentially.
I had this problem on a house I bought when it hit 8 years old. It was a townhouse so not much choice in where the line ran, but they used flex hose under the driveway for the water connection from the street to the house. Settling eventually caused a leak in the pipe so we had to carve out cement down the entire length of the driveway to get in and replace the hose. Had then run the new one inside 4″ PVC so it wouldn’t break again, and even if it did, could be pulled out from inside the house.
The place that I looked at last Saturday had a colonics room. Strong pass.
Also, the garage doors were closet slider style. You can only have half of it open at once.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
+1 Chocolate Fountain
My supply lines are above except for where it enters the house. The drain lines on the other hand are in/under the slab. Wife is paranoid that they’ll clog or fail and be totally screwed.
I’d really like to share these articles with class, but I’m reluctant to out myself as a libertarian.
Aw, fuck it. I’ll be competing with these people for work soon enough. (Hopefully.)
Thanks for these, by the way. It’s one thing reading through the textbook and putting it together chapter by chapter, quite another getting it from the perspective of someone on site.
re: falling off roofs, the worst injury we’ve had on a job recently (maybe ever) was during a remodel of a store with an open two-story interior. An unsecured electrician (OSHA who?) fell off his scaffold and plummeted maybe 18′ to the concrete floor. Then the scaffold came down on top of him. He nearly died to the brain swelling and went blind for awhile, but eventually regained sight in one eye.
Yep, falls suck (or rather the landings do) I fell a mere 4′ and broke my ankle. Every now and then someone shoots themselves to a 2×4 or lops of a digit, but all the really nasty injuries that kill or permanently disable that I hear of are falls. Oh, a local excavator got crushed in a trench once and that was pretty gruesome, but it’s usually deceleration trauma.
Dad fractured his ankle falling off a roof early in his career. More recently, my brother backed off a 4′ ladder when cutting through what was supposed to be dead conduit. He came down hard on one leg and tore his mcl and lcl. That laid him up for several months.
Quick tip-
Never assume anything is dead. Ever. Verify for yourself.
He did. The hard way.
The gun is always loaded.
The gas is always on.
The wire is always live.
Words to live by.
I hate stepping off a ladder only to find out I was on the second to the bottom rung not the bottom rung.
Had one colleague do that and slip backwards onto the tiled concrete. Skull fracture and left in an ambulance.
Love these articles.
I almost fell off of a two story roof once, we were using a new rubberized tar paper and the dew made it slippery.
There was a concrete block wall on the ground I would have landed on, so the 2X4’s we had nailed to the bottom of the roof probably saved my life.
I was told that they had never seen eyes as big as mine were while I was sliding.
I dunno why, but this came to mind.
It probably was about that speed.
Fucking terrifying, even twenty years later.
Good uses for heavy equipment.
I was building a second story deck on a house about 10 years ago. The stairs and the deck were built, but the railing wasn’t finished. The uprights were installed, but the top plate was just laying on top of them, not yes secured. I stepped out of the house and turned around to talk to my dad. While talking to him, I leaned up against that railing.
I fell backwards off the deck, about 10 feet, and landed right on my head. I sprained the shit out of my neck and the top plate fell after me and hit me in the jaw, opening a pretty good gash.
How I didn’t break my neck, I’ll never know.
My FIL runs a roofing company. A few years back, his guys were putting on a roof near an active beehive so they sprayed some stuff to kill the bees. Some of it got on the roof and apparently it is super-slick. Two guys slipped and went off one after the other. Someone grabbed the second guy enough to slow down his fall. He shaken but OK. But the first guy went off at full speed landed on his feet and shattered his heel bone. Hasn’t worked since.
I’ve been on a job where the guy on the 5th floor open deck was tape measuring the floor and backed himself right off the edge onto the pile of masonry below.
I’ve had people renting equipment get wound up in trenchers, fall off scaffolds, chainsaw their legs, etc….
Shit, I was driving by a job last week where three men were working withing a foot and a half of the running boom on this thing. They were one minor misstep from being hamburger.
Jeezus. All I see is pink mist coming out the back of the video now.
that trenching machine is at the bottom of my list for assisted suicide device.
I don’t think I would get within 10′ of that thing.
Christ, that’d be grisly.
It’s strange that a lot of these are obviously horrible, but the injuries that really make me cringe are stories like my brother wadding up some scraps of newspaper or sommat he found on the ground, only to find one of the floor guys had left a carpet blade in it.
I guess if I fall five stories into a pile of brick, I’ll either be too dead or in shock to worry about it.
There was a locally famous case last year where the building inspector was stepping off a boom lift onto the open 4th floor deck and missed the entire floor. Fell right between the lift and the deck.
Lemme guess….looking at his clipboard.
Not even sure, all I know is the GC took one hell of a fine for the accident.
Had a guy down in Rapides Parish a few years back who, in a hurry and not thinking, kept his nail gun in his hand, went to get more lumber and used his left hand and then his right arm to scoop up the 2x4s. In doing so he wrapped the nail gun around towards himself and…pow. He shot a 16p right into his heart.
He set the lumber and nail gun down went straight to his truck and drove himself to the ER. By the time he got there he could barely stand or speak but they rushed him in surgery and a week later he was back on the job.
Talk about cool nerve. Jesus.
Left out: he knew not to pull it out and didn’t panic. He didn’t look left or right or say a word, he just got to the ER as fast as he could.
I love nail guns, but you need to treat them like a weapon, always loaded don’t point etc., etc.
Good thing he didn’t panic.
Hit another buried nail head with a nail gun one time. The nail curled back up out of the board and around my thumb. Made a perfect circle around my finger.
Always kept my hands clear after that.
And there’s a reason I don’t rent or sell powder-actuated nail guns anymore.
You guys are doing a great job of freaking me the fuck out with all these accident stories. Gives me the heebie-jeebies
Gives me the heebie-jeebies
Wanna hear how I ‘lost’ my thumb?
“…backed right off of the edge…”
Yeeeeeah. I was laying a floor in a barn loft, stood up on the laid floor and took a couple of steps back without looking and went right down the hatch that I had put in. Dumbest mistake ever. Knocked the living shit out of me but fortunately we had not laid the ground floor yet and I hit soft dirt. That was still the end of me for the day and I had a limp for a week. It was a very valuable lesson for free.
Pay attention. Get tired? That is when you get careless, so quit for the day.
Pain is an integral part of learning.
Sometimes we don’t survive our most profound learning experiences.
Yikes. Were you alone?
No, my brother was there but he didn’t see or hear. He started talking to me and abruptly quit noticing that I had disappeared. I tried to call out but had no breath. Next thing I see is his face looking down at my from the loft and he said…
“What the fuck are you doing down there?”
Get tired? That is when you get careless, so quit for the day.
I’ve had some exciting moments in the shop when I’ve been overly tired. Guess how far a router table can shoot a piece of wood into the wall…
What are the rpms of the router and how heavy the wood? What kind of wall is it?
Really fast, oak, drywall.
7.5 cm?
What time did the other router leave Boston?
Yeah, fuck all that. Sorry, y’all, but if it came down to me to do that stuff civilization would collapse.
Creating something useful, especially something you know will outlast you by who knows how many years is very satisfying. Anything can be done, and it can be done safely. Don’t cut corners and pay attention to what is around you.
Bill, if one man can do it, another can do it.
I couldn’t agree with you more. Another man can do it while I stay on the ground floor, where God meant me to be.
I’ve found that sometime between college and today, I’ve been stricken with a healthy fear of heights. I think some of it is rational… I’m 90 lbs heavier than back then, so a fall would be that much easier (because I’m clumsy with all this extra weight) and painful. The rest is lack of exposure. I hadn’t been on a ladder in probably 10 years.
^^^ smart man
I used to be able to walk on top of a 2X4 wall and nail in the top plate.
You couldn’t pay me to do that now, I would die.
Weird thing, though, is that I don’t mind climbing trees, but I can’t get on a ladder without shaking so bad I vibrate the whole damn thing.
Quick question – of all the injury stories on this lengthy subthread, it’s funny how it’s mostly men working these jobs. Being a member of the Patriarchy is dangerous.
That’s how effective the patriarchy has been, it’s kept a stranglehold on middling-wage jobs with low pay ceilings and a high rate of injury. And it only took being virtually eliminated from any jobs working with children, but the tradeoff is worth it.
“Eli Yoder would show up with a half dozen other straw enhattened fellows and piously chainsaw ”
Isn’t an Amish using a chainsaw blasphemy or something?
No, I believe they just can’t be on the grid. I used to see them all the time at builders shows shopping power tools.
Depends on the community. Each thing/technology is basically evaulated based on “would this lead to a breakdown of community.” There can be widely divergent standards from area to area and also based on specific use of the thing. See: cell phones.
Nope, but they usually haul the lumber out with horses.
The Hyperbole – In my parish in order to build a house you are required to first…buy your tools and lumber. Outside of that there are no requirements. A lot of parishes here are like that, as are counties in TX. I enjoy your articles but I must admit that reading about all of the regulations/inspectors raises my hackles a bit.
How do you keep the contractors from killing their customers? I certainly hope you all enjoy living in literal deathtraps, every contractor I know got into home-building so that one day he can drop a shoddily framed roof on an unsuspecting family. House fires, gas explosions, it’s what we dream about at night.
Avatar pic checks out.
Well I didn’t add that the power company and gas company have their own standards for obvious reasons. That isnt usually a problem because the guy putting his family in the house has more to lose than CLECO or ATMOS.
Me too suthen. my FIL is a unlicensed homebuilder, and has been most of his life. People come to him and say, “I want a house.”
He takes their plans and builds it. That’s it. He can build a good quality 1700 square foot home for around 80 grand.
I know of a 1100 square foot farm hand house he built a few years ago for 35k.
Tell you pastor he can stick the rules up his ass or you’ll find a new church.
I love these articles. I’m currently in the process of deciding whether or not to buy a property and either re-model or in-fill on the site. Been doing a lot of research, and that has re-ignited my interest in home-building.
Why is the sauce look orangey? Is it rose? Is it red pepper-based? Did you add something to it? Or it just the camera angle giving that impression?
Nice try, but I’m not giving up the secret sauce without a lot more glowing praise for the article. Do you even read the alt-text?
I still don’t understand the alt-text jokes.
But it’s definitely a kick ass article.
I’m just thankful you didn’t put pineapple on it like someone who had a lobotomy.
More importantly, why is the cheese on top? And why is is 1/8 as deep as it should be?
*ducks*
What’s a basement?
A temperature controlled environment for brewing beer and cellaring wine.
Sadly, I now live in a basement free zone.
That’s unfortunate.
It’s where you keep your car carousel.
Freedom and escape from the world.
My house has an at grade slab.
That’s pretty grim.
I know! Floor is freezing in the winter time. Note to self: never buy a slab foundation house.
Do you want a family of raccoons living underneath you???
Ugh. I had a family get into my attic . Worst part is they brought fleas with them.
Could be worse. I’ve got a crawlspace. And by crawlspace, I mean a damp space under the floor where small things enact their roles in the circle of life on a daily basis in order to make our house smell “lived-in”.
My dad always made me do the crawl space work. Said he was too big ( I WAS a skinny little kid).
I HATE fucking earwigs!!
Earwigs are the worst. I like to think of my crawlspace as providing valuable housing to the under-served spider and camel cricket communities, as well as a final resting place for local mice.
Gotta have somewhere to bury the bodies.
SHE PUTS ON THE LOTION OR SHE GETS THE HOSE!
It’s where you put the pool table and the bar.
it’s where you lay the synthetic ice short track* around the central staircase.
*not yet, but someday
Something that the wealthy use to deny housing to the poor.
/The Grauniad
ALL THOSE BASEMENTS EQUAL THE GRAND CANYON!!!
Its a room people use to cook meth.
I can’t think of a good Rocky and Bullwinkle alternate joke title.
You could have gone with something about getting your loan from the Frostbite Falls branch of the Farmers’ and Swineherds’ National Bank.
Nice post Hyperbole, I really enjoy reading these.
Instead of dictating a minimum standard, which for all intents and purposes becomes ‘The Standard’, perhaps we should allow homeowners and builders to make that determination.
That way madness lies!
You must want people to die.
Mmmmmm pizza! Looks good!
I don’t care about the thiccness of the crust, square cut is wrong. (May we please have the sauce recipe anyway?)
My Dad is a math professor, but comes from a long line of practical Appalachian folk. He wired houses during the summers. Liked the extra cash; LOVED building stuff. I spent many summer days being a gofer and running cabling.
Rural area, so Dad knew the only local electrical inspector really well. The guy, named Gilmore as it happens, never let anyone cut corners on code stuff, but was also never a dick and was always punctual.
I wish I’d gone into a trade earlier. As is I do a lot of digging and concrete and steel framing and drywalling, but none of it professionally. (As professional as that stuff gets, anyway.) And I’m only now learning to read plans, since I never thought I’d need to.
Otoh the electricians always seem super PO’d about something…
Like when the drywall guys cover a junction box that isn’t wired yet? 😉
True story: I witnessed a situation where the drywall covered a fucking window!
Someone pissed off the drywall guys.
So i take few sheets off the stack of Drywall, drive in some 2″ screws and put the sheets back on, sit back and watch,
/Drywallers are morons
Our electrician called weeks after he was done and asked if we were ever going to pay him. We said we were waiting for the bill.
He’d stapled it to a stud in the garage.
I’d dry walled over it.
Needs:
Him, better business practices
You, better vision
(Me, more coffee)
Did the inspector have a kick-ass pompadour?
Bald as a cue ball.
That’s unfortunate.
I’m convinced that large parts of the NEC were written by electrical components manufacturers who bribed their components into the code.
You’d get along well with my Dad.
He sounds like a smart guy.
You’re not wrong.
Thanks for this series. It really is fascinating.
All of you manual laborers are making my keyboard-jockey, white-collar job seem very emasculating.
I’m looking forward to having a permanent desk job, or at least being a tablet jockey on site, and never having to mix concrete again.
That must be why you overcompensate with the boob posts. Trying to convince us all you aren’t a soy boy?
Then again, I might be a woman…
No, you can’t be. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a libertarian woman.
Hawt!
However, I’m not Ted; no soy or any other kind of milk. I have my pride!
And I am (unfortunately?) male. Sorry to disappoint.
*cancels trip to CO*
Ahem.
I am glad I no longer have to kill myself 6 days a week.
However, I did enjoy the work more than I do now, and I have skills that come in handy around the house.(My wife wants me to build a she for our kayaks) *Grumble and look at pre-built shed prices, agree with her*
*SHED* not she
I figured you were going into the sexbot business.
I am always super grateful i come from the family I do. There isn’t much around a house or property I can’t do, if I choose.
I know when a service provider is trying to rip me off, too.
Life skills FTW.
Yes. Knowing how to do things always comes in handy.
Relatives Love it too,,,,,
I wish I had more of the skills required to do this stuff. I’m sure it can all be learnt, but it feels like such a moving target, especially for somebody like me who will never do it professionally.
Oh, and the homebuilding stuff is interesting, too!
I tiled my downstairs bathroom a few years ago and felt like it was a major accomplishment. Then last summer my uncle-in-law and his guys rebuilt our master bathroom in about a week, and I immediately swore I’d never mess with anything more complex than caulking a bathtub ever again. As I approach 40, I realize that no matter how much money I save or personal satisfaction I gain from figuring out how to muddle through a home improvement job on my own it will be dwarfed by the satisfaction of paying someone with decades of experience to do the job way, way better than I ever could.
My wife and I were general contractors when we built our house 13 years ago. We did all the interior paint; I put down about 3000 sq ft of Pergo; and laid a whole lot of landscaping block.
We got a lot more house than if we paid someone else to do the work.
I’m a paintin’ fool, and I actually don’t mind doing it, either. I can also do real basic electric, pretty decent landscaping if I do say so myself, and the usual Harry Homeowner-type stuff like hanging doors, replacing windows, that sort of thing. But I know myself, and I know that the longer the job takes, the more often my wife or my kid is going to interrupt to ask me something, or I’m going to start getting sick of dealing with it, or I’m going to misplace a tool I need and try to get by with something else, etc., and I’m going to wind up with a half- to two-thirds-assed job unless it’s something I can knock out in about eight hour uninterrupted, discrete chunks. We bought our current house with the idea that my wife’s uncles, who had volunteered to help, would be doing a lot of the work for us in a sort of labor trade type thing: electrician uncle comes over and puts in a fan, I go help him paint his basement, that type of thing. That fizzled out, though, and now we’ve got an old house that needs work and is quickly becoming too small for us.
I really don’t mind paying people to do work, but quite a few people I’ve hired have done substandard jobs, so I do most things myself. Except we are starting a remodel next month and it’s more work than I could hope to do in two years, so I hired it out. Hopefully I won’t have too many issues.
I’ve had mixed results. I’m a slow but decent finish carpenter, so it’s hard for me to hire it done. I had some cabinetry and stone work done that was fricking perfect, but the same contractor disappointed on a custom railing on another job. It all depends on the individual carpenter.
Just keep an eye on them and don’t be afraid to ask if something looks wrong.
That’s good advice. I don’t leave for work until noon, so I can at least check up during the mornings daily.
Ha! My house is fairly old. It needs about 6 months worth of professional remodeling to get it how I want it. That’s expensive though.
I have been remodeling it for 8 years now. It’s about 3/4 of the way there at the moment. Another few years and I can finally start over redoing the things I did 8 years ago.
Welcome to homeownership, a job that is never done.
Yeah…*stress rubs temples*
Maybe I’ll sell after the remodel and become a drifter.
I see you subscribe to my dad’s remodeling method.
My last two major DIY projects have soured me on the prospect. Both involved replacing drywall, and both looked awful. Maybe I’ll rebuild some confidence if my next project doesn’t involve skim coating drywall and sanding it smooth.
I understand drywall is an art form.
Drywall sucks nearly as bad as plumbing. I’m re-taping and painting the garage and the guy who I usually hire is booked until like 2020 (thanks a lot Trump).
Drywall is an art. Most of us DIYers fuck up by using way too much joint compound and not going wide enough on the knives.
Drywall is one thing that I will hire done.
I totally redid my back bathroom. I replaced the shower, tub, toilet, plumbing, counters, amd cabinets all by my lonesome. I hired a guy to redo the drywall. I hate drywall worse than plumbing.
The sheetrock part is easy. I’m getting better at it, but finishing the stuff is tough.
I learned from A Finish God, and now i are one too, preparation FTW!
Drywalled my whole house. My last joint was as bad as my first. The one building skill I’ve never gotten better at.
But that’s why God invented texture paint. My wife always wanted an adobe look anyway.
Replacing drywall. The frame may have been square when it was built but over time the ground settles and wood dries and warps. Replacing drywall always means the frame is no longer square and the edges of the sheet rock dont match up. Much cutting and sanding is required. I hate replacing drywall.
Our house is an old Sears kit house from the 30s and all the original walls are plaster and lath. They’re worn and will need to be repaired in places before we sell the place, but I’m actually looking forward to it because, well, it’s not drywall.
The frame may have been square when it was built but over time the ground settles and wood dries and warps.
Yup. Add to that the fact that this was a slab house in Texas. Even if the frame stayed straight, the foundation moved more than enough to mess everything up.
Why can’t we just do those modular walls like in Star Trek? It would make everything so much easier.
I’ve gotten pretty good at electrical and will start learning plumbing next. I can do carpentry but it ain’t pretty.
Just remember, 1/4 inch per foot fall on septic lines.
And Studor vents suck…
The most drama in building our house was when the cement truck damn near fell over. The house was on about 20% grade and they were having trouble getting to where they could reach the furthest/lowest point (too late to call in the long reach thingie). The truck started to go over and I swear that the only thing that kept it from going all the way over was that the driver in bailing out a the last second was afraid to jump. he hung on the side like a sailor on a catamaran. I’m sure he was thinking “I’m so fired for this.”
We had several crews on site and they worked together using a Bobcat to level out the slope a bit and then push the truck back upright.
Unfortunately, this was pre-cell phone so no photographs.
There’s an incredibly grisly video involving an overladen forklift and some poor woman attempting to provide ballast on the back. I think it’s Chinese, and I prefer to think it’s a movie scene or something.
All you will ever need to know about forklift safety
Forklift driver Klausse will show you the German way
That is funny, but they are right. My favorite ones are where the FL driver knocks over a set of shelves and domino style the whole warehouse goes.
I’ve seen one where the driver does that, then hops off the forklift, looks around, and runs off. Looks like he was trying to act like he didn’t do it.
I was told once that I drive a forklift like it’s a “fucking racecar”. I didn’t realize until later that it wasn’t a compliment.
When I was 18, I worked at a plant as a CNC operator. I machined cast iron parts for electric motors. The area where I worked had a very smooth concrete floor that always had a very light coating of cast iron dust on it, making it very slick. I used a forklift to get boxes of parts to be machined off the racks.
I cut many a doughnut with that forklift on that floor. You could get the lift up to speed, pull the handbrake, and cut the wheel and you could do an entire 360. It was stupid, but damn it was fun.
“…a light coating of cast iron dust…”
I know just what that place smelled like. I love that smell as much as I love the smell of sawdust.
Yes! There’s something really nice about that smell, especially when combined with a grinding or cutoff wheel smell. It’s just as delightful as the smell of exhaust at the race track.
I used to work in a distribution warehouse and one of the forklift drivers, with a full stack of pallets, cut a corner too tight and tore off a sprinkler head. Right in the middle of the paper goods section too.
My brother came down with a lift on a 4″ cast iron pipe. Shattered it, flooded out the bookstore below.
Oh! Forgot about this one. We had a fire sprinkler crew come in to run pipe and install heads. Of course, they have to turn off pressure to that part of the mall. Well, the geniuses decide to take lunch midway through the job with an open line. Another crew working on another project came through to turn their line back on, saw that ours was off, figured it’s part of the same job, and within five minutes we’ve flooded out Victoria’s Secret across the way.
oooohhhh… forklift stories
In the early 80’s, my uncle rented a 2-ton cap vertical mast forklift to a customer. It was probably an old forklift back then.
The customer loaded it with about 2-1/2 tons of material. The forklift didn’t tip, but it did get hung up with the load about ten feet in the air.
So, of course, the customer gets off the forklift, stands under the load and proceeds to fuck with the chain using a crowbar.
*SNAP* goes the chain
I didn’t get to see the results, but apparently he popped like a tomato when the 2-1/2 tons dropped directly on his head.
Holy crap! Lesson one is you never ever ever stand under the load!
*feels slightly ill*
Speaking of squashing tomatoes, what was that pizza sauce recipe again?
/that little asshole inside me who has to always take it to the next level
He drove through the door and didn’t honk! Written up!
/Safety Director Yusef
What would Office Manager Mohammed say though?
commodious wrote ” …I prefer to think it’s a movie scene or something.”
I would bet it wasn’t a movie. Life is cheap in China. I spent several weeks in southern China building a glass melting furnace. The welders did their thing in shorts and flip flops. No welding helmet, just a piece of tinted plastic. The welding leads were bare copper in places. Scaffolding and horizontal planks were made of bamboo lashed together with twine. The fire brick saw had no blade guards and its electrical cord was run through a puddle (water cooled blade).
Ten years ago, I found a sequence of photos on the Internet that I used in a power point briefing I gave at work (for real).
The first photo showed a crane lifting a car out of a bay where driver had apparently left the traveled portion of the roadway and passed through a railing.
The next photo showed said crane lying on top of the car in the bay.
The next photo showed a much bigger crane lifting the first crane out of the bay, followed by a photo of the 2nd crane lying on top of the 1st crane lying on top of the car, all in the bay.
The next two photos showed a huge crane lifting the 2nd crane out of the bay, and yes it was followed with a photo of the 3rd crane on top of everything in the bay.
Talk about having a bad day.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/a-series-of-unfortunate-events/
As my father says: “Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.”
Always make sure that the trailor you are loading is secured to the loading dock
Needz moar eye of newt.
https://pjmedia.com/trending/wisc-ambulance-service-replaces-opioids-with-essential-oils/
That cant be real
OT: How the hell do they expect to enforce this?
https://indefenseofliberty.blog/2018/05/09/defending-austin-homeowners-right-to-share-their-homes/
At the point of a gun, like usual.
Ot: I honestly don’t know what to take away from this article. How Michael Cohen cashed in.
Basically all these people are selling themselves as insiders and apparently noone has personal sway or influence over the president. So basically Trump is selling influence through these conduits but people quickly find out they have no access to him, so he’s actually not selling influence? So on one hand we’re supposed to believe Trump is swayed by the last person he talks to and on the other hand noone has any idea what he’s going to do? Also he can’t be bought? I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be a negative article, but apparently Trump is incorruptible.
I guess what I’m trying to find out is what is fucking point of this article besides OMG TRUMP!!!!!!!
“what is fucking point of this article besides OMG TRUMP!!!!!!!”
That’s more than enough for the MSM.
That may be the biggest reason he is so hated. And why he has accomplished to much in so short a time. How many weeks did Obama spend with Jeffery Immelt without telling anyone what they were up to? What happened to the price of water heaters and refrigerators after that?
What is the point of having a Derpetologist around here if he isn’t exposing us to lunatics who believe in critical cartography and radical geographers?
Mercator was a white supremacist!!! 11eleventyone!
Next thing I see is his face looking down at my from the loft and he said…
“What the fuck are you doing down there?”
Get back to work!
Dock that chink a days pay for napping on the job.
Well, we were on a roll and suddenly he finds me sitting on my ass at the bottom of the ladder with my legs splayed out in front of me like a French whore and a slack-jawed, glazed-eye look on my face. It took him a few seconds to figure it out.
“What the fuck are you doing down there?”
TWSS.
I wish I had more of the skills required to do this stuff. I’m sure it can all be learnt
Just look at the people who do it for a living. How hard can it be?
I used to work with some real winners, one guy had to get paid on Monday instead of Friday because he would party all weekend and not be able to work on Monday.
He was a damn good carpenter when he was sober.
Our concrete guy has to do that with his whole crew. He gives them some cash on Friday but the checks are given out Monday. I have also known a few laborers whose wives would come to the job site on payday to get the checks.
This is the reason the early industrialists got reputations as low payers. They knew if they paid the workers too much at a time they wouldn’t show up for work until their pay was gone…usually drunk up. Pay ’em too much and they spend a week out passed out somewhere. The factories couldn’t run like that. they needed steady production every day.
I think there is an Iron Law that covers that.
Fuck you, FOX Business, for making me defend John McCain.
I dont remember when it happened…some time after Trump was in office…but FOX decided to throw in all the way with Trump.
Is there ANY evidence that the “enhanced interrogation” even provided any useful intel, let alone prevented an attack?
Absolutely none.
Bringing up McCain is kind of interesting, because how he responded to torture was to give his torturers bullshit. They asked for the names of his platoon members, he gave them the names of the Green Bay Packers offensive line. They asked him for locations of future US bombing targets, he gave them past bombing targets (cities that had already been bombed).
These fuckers watch “24” and think the scenario of “THERE’S A BOMB ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND IF WE DON’T TORTURE THIS GUY FOR INFORMATION IT’S GOING TO KILL THOUSANDS” is real. I mean, even if it WAS real, why would the terrorist in that situation give up the real info, rather than just stall until the bomb exploded?
The thing about torturing is that people will say *anything* to get it to stop. Even if they know nothing.
Years ago, shortly after 9/11, I was taking a poli sci class and one of my classmates was a Marine interrogator. I want to say this was in 2004, maybe 2005, after the invasion of Iraq but before the occupation had gone on all that long. He had done some time in Iraq and was back home going to college in order to get into OCS. Anyway, we were talking about enhanced interrogation, and the professor, knowing his background, asked him if he had anything to offer on the topic. He said that while he obviously couldn’t get into specifics, nearly all of the time in his experience they either got actionable intelligence within the first hour or not at all, and the most effective way to get it was to hand the guy a bottle of water and a $50 and say, “Anything you’d like to tell us?” Because the thing is, most of the time there isn’t a single mastermind who has all the information you need, so you’re taking lots of pieces of information that people don’t necessarily realize is important and building a picture out of it. Your enemies will be motivated to lie if you interrogate them, and anyone you torture will just say whatever it takes to get you to stop. Allies and people in the middle, however, will either already come to you so they can feel important or helpful, or they’ll be easy to persuade if they think they’ll get something out of giving you good information.
So on one hand we’re supposed to believe Trump is swayed by the last person he talks to and on the other hand noone has any idea what he’s going to do? Also he can’t be bought? I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be a negative article, but apparently Trump is incorruptible.
“When I buy a politician, I expect the son of a bitch to stay bought.”
You can only rent those crooks, man…
OT: Is this the new rage?
Would
She’s a bit chubby for a Korean but definitely would.
That said based on the title of her Thesis it would definitely have to be a one night stand cause no way is she relationship material
We can only hope.
Have fun paying off your $200K in debt on a barista salary.
She looks decent enough that she could get away giving special happy ending massages…
From the sidebar:
https://nypost.com/2018/02/06/cornell-frat-suspended-over-pig-roast-sex-contest/
If you bang an uggo you’re a rapist, if you don’t bang an uggo you’re a misogynist. You can’t win!
I think that is what pissed off the usual suspects the most: that these poor uggos suddenly will be heart broken because they find out that the only reason they were ridden hard and put away wet was a contest…
And yet this Cornell student can do whatever she wants.
https://hotair.com/archives/2018/05/10/hear-cornell-student-gave-speech-underwear/
I’d dominate that game.
Always remember that Ivy Leaguers are our betters.
What, fat girls don’t need love?
These boys were just doing a service to a disadvantaged community
Run, run like the wind….
Well, the question is, what was she wearing that was deemed inappropriate to begin with? And are there pictures?
In the real world: *begins to strip*
“You’re fired, get out.”
“I’M A FEMINIST! MY MOM IS A FEMINIST!”
*starts dialing 9-1-1*
OT #2:
SJP is definitely not an anti-Jewish organization. Just anti-Israel
Higher Ed can’t collapse fast enough.
Related:
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/05/09/jewish-hate-crime-kew-gardens/
Hey Hyp, have you seen these footings?
A couple guys I know have been using them and they are pretty damn cool.
I have not seen those before, that is pretty cool, I’ll have to give those a try, although I hate to think I may never use my post hole diggers again.
100% of bars recommend getting drunk to deal with depression.
https://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/marijuana/study-69-of-colorado-dispensaries-recommended-marijuana-for-expectant-moms-with-morning-sickness
When all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
These fuckers watch “24” and think the scenario of “THERE’S A BOMB ABOUT TO EXPLODE AND IF WE DON’T TORTURE THIS GUY FOR INFORMATION IT’S GOING TO KILL THOUSANDS” is real. I mean, even if it WAS real, why would the terrorist in that situation give up the real info, rather than just stall until the bomb exploded?
Repo Man comes through, as usual: Leila: I’d torture someone in a second if it was up to me.
As usual, I think, it’s projection. “Man, I’d spill the beans in a heartbeat if they wired that hand cranked magneto to my balls. Of course the bad guy’ going to tell you everything he knows.” Maybe not, if he’s a True Believer.
Plus, the heroic delusion of last minute heroism. The only problem is, there is no script. You don’t really have certainty.
When I get to this, I’ll believe anything you tell me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1JhTRWqhKc
Then again, if this guy supports it…
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dick-cheney-supports-torture-interrogation_us_5af481bde4b0e57cd9f7629e
And another one..
http://abc6onyourside.com/news/local/west-union-educator-arrested-for-sexual-contact-with-a-student
Hyperbole wrote “In mixing bowl of your discount stand mixer (if you own 20$ socks go ahead and use your overpriced KitchenAid) proof …”
Ha! I do own $20 Smartwool socks AND an overpriced KitcheAid mixer.
I am notoriously frugal. I wash and reuse ziplock bags. But I don’t cheap out on socks, car tires, toilet paper, or kitchen mixers.
I try and be as frugal as possible, but I’ve found kitchen supplies like tools are usually worth splurging on. If I baked more I’d definitely get a KitchenAid, but at a batch or two of pizza dough a month I can’t justify the cost.
The kitchenaid has been the single best appliance purchase I have made.