John Bolton’s mustache undulated menacingly.
“I thought I’d find you faggots in here!” he said. John Bolton’s leg kicked the Oval Office door closed behind him. His eyebrows scurried back and forth on his brow.
“Hey, John,” Donald said weakly.
“John’s not here, tubby,” the mustache said. “You’re dealing with me now.” Bolton’s body lurched forward a step. They could see his glazed-over eyes and slack jaw that wasn’t moving.
“What the fuck is going on?” the hair demanded.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on, you dick wig. I’m moving in, I’m taking over, I am going to whip this queer pit into fucking shape!”
“You serve at the pleasure of the President!” the hat spat.
“Anyone making limited strikes in Syria is no President, you junkie scum.” Bolton’s body lurched forward again, his eyebrows vertical over his dead eyes. “We’ve got to bomb them into submission. Blood! Fire! I want the smell of crisp skin wafting over all Mohammedan lands!” the mustache roared.
“Donald! Up!” the hat commanded and Donald picked up the hat and squashed it down over the hair.
“Hey! Watch it!” the hair protested.
“Oh, shut up,” the hat replied.
“War! I want war! I hunger for it!” Bolton’s mustache raved. John Bolton’s hand reached into the pocket of his seersucker suit and pulled out an enormous dead rat.
“What the fuck?” Donald and his hair said simultaneously.
Bolton’s hand held the rat up to the mustache and thick grey fibers sank into the flesh. The rat’s hide began to ripple and bubble.
Donald opened a desk drawer and vomited into it loudly and closed it back.
“Oh, God,” the hair moaned when the eyebrows inched down Bolton’s face to feed as well. After a few more seconds, Bolton’s hand opened and the empty skin of the rat fell to the floor.
“War, fucksticks. I want war. War is the only clean thing left,” the mustache said. “And FLOTUS hat. Bring me FLOTUS hat. She won’t survive my mustache ride.” The bloody eyebrows returned to their perch on Bolton’s brow and the mustache-ridden body turned and walked stiffly from the room.
“Holy shit!” the hair exclaimed. “Why the fuck did you hire that guy?”
“Me?” the hat asked. “I didn’t hire him.”
“Don’t look at me,” Donald whimpered. “I thought it was one of you guys.”
Get caught up on all the episodes here
I heard Bolton’s mustache once killed a man at a gym, drying his hair, after mistaking his towel for a turban.
Bolton’s mustache is so mean, it once shot a man just for snoring.
it once shot a
manBolton just for snoring.Boltons mustache is so mean, it was once engaged to a woman with a wooden leg, but he got mad and broke it off.
Bolton’s mustache is so mean, it takes money *out* of the collection plate.
Bolton’s mustache is so mean it slaps babies.
Bolton’s mustache is so mean it made Joe Green and Gene Okerlund cry at the same time.
Bolton’s moustache is so mean it eats babies.
You guys remind me of this:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/braskys-buddies-at-the-bar/n11181?snl=1
So I thought we had skin-suited Bolton. but I believe The Mustache is a Kersplackian Land Squid. They are quite adept at body snatching. We’re on a trial outsourcing contract testing a rapid subversion program. The Mammal with the hair was starting to bitch out on dropping some ordinance and we needed a quick remedy
New characters! We’re expanding the shit out of this canon!
That might be quite a challenge to animate.
and by challenge you mean war crime?
“Compared to war, all other forms of human endeavor shrink to insignificance.”
-Bolton’s mustache
I don’t get it.
me neither,
That’s ’cause you fairies ain’t got no moustache!
I have heard that style of ‘stache called a “Shock absorber for a high speed cocksucker”, by gay friends in the past.
His mouth does look like a horizontal gash in that picture.
“Blood! Fire! I want the smell of crisp skin wafting over all Mohammedan lands!”
Well then Mr. Bolton, you have come to the right place. If there’s one thing the U.S. government is good at, it’s bombing the middle east.
NO! It is still there, right?
If we were really good, it would be totally black glassed.
/’stache
Ayup..
^^USA Hat
We have been concentrating our bombs in too narrow an area. We need to diversify our bombing. Iran, Jordan, Kuwait, Oman. There’s plenty of Mohammedan lands that need blown up.
/stache
If we did THAT, then we couldn’t bomb it anymore.
“Make the rubble bounce”
The hair should have an instinctual hate reaction to someone, like a Tribble to a klingon.
Don’t get ahead of the story, trsh…
NOT FLOTUS HAT!!!!
Man
Moment
Mustache
We’re mostly friendly around here, right? So can I vent a little paranoid fantasy without being judged? Thanks for indulging me.
RE: Russian Collusion
I believe that before the disintegration of the Soviet Union, the KGB planted a sizable cadre of high school/college age operatives in the USA, in the mid to late 1980’s. Their orders were to assimilate into American culture, obtain positions of power and leadership within government, media, and civic institutions. Destroy those institutions, and America.
With the collapse of the USSR, many of these operatives simply chose to stay in the US. Some may have abandoned their directives; but a majority have agreed to implement the plan, if only out of patriotism to Mother Russia. What we are now seeing is the implementation of the nefarious plan as those operatives have reached the leadership positions they were groomed to obtain.
Those two dickhead FBI agents who were texting about Trump are a typical example of these Soviet plants. I seriously want to see background checks on these people. Like, I want to find two impartial people that can verify they played Little League badeball with the dude when they were 11, in Des Moines IA. Not college buddies, but verify these guys were born and raised in the USA. Documents are easy to forge. I want verifiable information that these clowns were born and bred in America. And not just those FBI fucks. Asshats like Rachel Maddow, fuck it Jimmy Kimmel or Colbert, and the rest of these creeps. Something stinks. I know it’s paranoic, but what the hell?
Thank you. May god have mercy on my soul.
You’re Soul is safe, Your Ass however……..
/FBI on line One
Tangentially related…
https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/apr/20/trump-russia-wikileaks-sued-democrats-lawsuit
‘The Democratic National Committee has filed a lawsuit against the Russian government, Donald Trump’s campaign and WikiLeaks, alleging a widespread conspiracy to help swing the 2016 US presidential election in Trump’s favor.’
The DNC: It’s different when we do it.
Suing Wiki seems like a bad idea. Who knows what they have on the DNC that they haven’t released yet, but might.
Suing the Russian government seems like a really bad idea. They are immune from discovery or any kind of damages, so there’s no upside. They also have some murderous impulses, so there is a downside.
Suing the Trump campaign is stepping on a rake. Open conflict between the DNC and the Trump campaign is probably a wet dream for Trump. Counterclaims, discovery, I mean, now that the gloves are off, let’s go.
The blue wave has to start somewhere.
Splashing up on Trump’s butt cheeks when he takes a dump?
Example:
The DNC and Hillary campaign’s law firm hired and paid Fusion GPS, which in turn was involved with the meeting between the Trump campaign and that Russian lawyer that nobody can figure out how she got a visa, whether she overstayed it, and was attending DNC events while she was here. Let’s get discovery on that law firm to see if this was an attempt to cover up DNC/Hillary collusion with the Russian government, since apparently attorney-client privilege is a thing of the past.
And, depending on how the Russians want to play this, they might cooperate with the discovery and release records showing that, yeah, that Russian lawyer (who is well connected with the government) was acting at their behest (which she was – she was here, allegedly, to cut a deal on adoption and frozen assets, I believe). If, as is highly likely, she was here to advance the Russian government’s interest, and was also involved in a DNC attempt to set up the Trump campaign, well, them two dots are easy to connect.
Trump’s enemies are Trump’s greatest assets.
These are the people that managed to watch an election they thought they had rigged and stolen for Hillary get won by a clown they thought all but guaranteed a Hillary win. You betchya they are his greatest asset, because they are too prideful and stupid to admit they are not even an iota as smart as they would like to believe they are.
if you need any proof they are morons, queue this lawsuit. They do understand how discovery works right? Are they hoping to get a judge that basically ignores the law and prevents the people they have gone after from basically presenting facts and evidence? Because all the facts and evidence show the democrats are a corrupt bunch of assholes and that we got lucky they are also far dumber than in my wildest fantasies. Shit, they are making the stupid party look smart.
Are they hoping to get a judge that basically ignores the law –
They’ll get the same judge that made Hannity’s lawyer breech confidentiality.
“Move to change venue. The judge’s history of involvement with the plaintiff and various associates of the plaintiff, raises at a minimum concerns about the appearance of impartiality which should not be allowed to taint this high-profile case. We have many federal judges who do not have a long entanglement with one of the parties to this case, why not transfer it to one of them?”
And that is the problem Florida Man. There are quite a few people in the legal profession, ranging from those in government entities like the DOJ and the FBI to the circuit courts in the hardcore blue states, that have no problem shitting all over the constitution, the law, and the country to peddle their (the left’s) political agenda, so I suspect a stunt like this is done in the hopes of capitalizing on shit like that in one way or another.
We need new terms. “Stupid Party” and “Evil Party” no longer distinguish them. Maybe we should just use party names from Europe: Christian Democrats, new symbol a Rhino looking confused, and Communists, new symbol a Vulture eating Prometheus.
“porcupine humping a pile of money” is already taken
It’s also the same law firm that hired Crowdstrike, which infamously determined that it was the Russians that hacked their servers, and subsequently the DNC would not turn those servers over to the FBI for examination.
I imagine Trump’s lawyers are salivating at the prospect of putting DNC honchos under oath and asking them why they didn’t let the FBI look at the servers.
Even if it looks like Russians hacked the servers, the DNC is going to have a hell of a time proving it was the Russian government that hacked the servers.
A fun fact is that CrowdStrike was founded by Ukrainians, who from the Russian POV are almost Russians but with a big inferiority complex. And they most certainly speak Russian not Ukrainian.
Hmm. I guess that means that Trump’s counterclaim can include collusion by the DNC with the Ukrainian government. Sure, they’ll need to prove that the government was involved in Crowdstrike’s work, but this isn’t about winning the claim, its about making it and then pursuing discovery. Winning is incidental in lawsuits like this.
Hell, they probably have a stronger basis for this claim than the DNC’s claim of Russian collusion.
This has to be in response to Assange’s offer to provide physical evidence that he did not receive the emails from the Russians in exchange for immunity that he made this week,
Assange is discovery-proof, too. Aside from the fact that he is in an embassy and can’t be forced to show for a deposition, the threats that our government has made against him give him a bullet-proof 5th Amendment plea. So we may even be treated to the spectacle of the DNC pleading with Trump to pardon him so he can be forced to testify.
What a shitshow. Does nobody at the DNC know how this game is played?
Under what grounds are they suing. Doesn’t someone have to show damages to sue someone else.
What are the damages to the DNC?
I’m not really sure. Sour grapes, I guess.
Hurt feelings (of entitlement).
Is the DNC alleging perhaps a vast, right-wing conspiracy?
I have a hard buying into grand conspiracy theories. I don’t think a government is capable of pulling anything like that off in secret. I like my conspiracies simple and neat.
Lachowsky confirmed as Russian spy.
*adjusts tin foil helmet*
*Bolshoi Ballet applause*
I do too. However, through a series of circumstances, I have been doing some morning drinking. And I have the internet.
You, sirrah…I salute you!
I believe it’s spelled ‘syrah’.
In about 3 hours it will be spelled usquebaugh for me 🙂
I spell that ‘rye’
I think it would be better for the USA if that were true.
But unfortunately, we’ve been growing the seeds of our own destruction.
Yeah, we have plenty of homegrown commies in places of high influence.
Sadly, Occam’s Razor applies here – an explicit commie infiltration is needlessly complicated. If you were to ask those asshats at the FBI, they would say they’re being true Americans and trying to protect the country. Nobody’s the villain of their own story.
Well, almost nobody.
*twirls mustache, kicks orphan*
RC Dean confirmed to be John Bolton!!
Wouldn’t that be cool?
I am eagerly awaiting the day that some famous person gets outted by the media for being alt-right because of their posts on this site.
+1 The Americans
Yeah. I know it’s the plot to that show. But this is 2018, not 1983 or whatever. Those abandoned agents may as well stake out their future in the US. Hell, keep working the plan and see what happens.
But the long-term was the ultimate goal – the second generation, like Paige, would be 100% Americans and could get jobs at State or DOD, as they have discussed as Paige’s plan in The Americans.
Here’s how stupid the DNC is. One of their claims is
Now they have put their servers into evidence. These are either servers they have destroyed, or have refused to allow anyone to inspect. No way they can prevent discovery on them now. If they destroyed them, then that would likely raise the issue of spoliation, since these servers have been in the “likely to be evidence” category a long time. If they are still around, then they are going to have to let them be examined for evidence of Russian government hacking.
Christ that’s a stupid move.
They are either incredibly stupid, or they are panicking and trying to stall on something else that is potentially worse.
inclusive “or” right?
I’d like to believe it was the Russians. That would exonerate our own civilization for the mess we’ve made of ourselves. But, the truth is, you don’t need Russian agents to get where we’ve gotten. We did it all by ourselves. Madcow (Please forgive the Mikeism)? Kimmel? Colbert? Any of them would be nothing more than lunatics screaming on the street corner if they didn’t have ready-made audiences in the millions ready to lap up the idiocy they’re peddling.
The problem is something I alluded to in an earlier thread. It’s not that we’ve produced a generation or two now that, as citizens, are incapable of thought, of engaging ideas based on evidence, reason and logic. It’s that we’ve produced a generation or two that actively looks on thinking or the expectation of thought as an offense. Consider, if you question the assumptions or ask for factual support for the claims of so many people, particularly those in our current intellectual class, the response is to look at you as if you just took a dump in the punch-bowl and an insistence that they don’t want to argue about or discuss what they were just haranguing everyone in the room about, not five minutes prior.
I kind of get it. The Fenwicks of the world can be a pain in the neck. It’s just that we’ve arrived at the point where even trying to hold a rudimentary conversation makes you Fenwick.
“I believe that before the disintegration of the Soviet Union, the KGB planted a sizable cadre of high school/college age operatives in the USA, in the mid to late 1980’s.”
You don’t have to say that you believe this to be the case, bro. After the fall of the USSR the Venona files proved they had recruited extensively amongst academia and media types, and had planted several people to push all that nonsense that pro communism douchebags spent most of the 70s and 80s producing demonizing the west, western values, and cleaning up the evil and horrible record of any and all attempts to peddle collectivist, but primarily marxist, ideas. It was well documented and known, but the media and academia, controlled by these people, have done an excellent job of disinformation.
I remember watching an interview with an old Soviet KGB guy that lamented how had the USSR been able to survive but another decade, they would have basically crippled the west and basically defeated us from within. He was pissed Reagan had basically forced them to show their true colors and then pushed them into bankruptcy trying to keep up with the western effort to modernize its military capabilities. We dodged a fucking bullet there.
Unfortunately the KGB agents, both the ones that were trained and planted and the slew of them that self selected into this category by getting their heads filled with all the leftist bullshit peddled in our education system and media, have been systematically at work undermining the west to the point that it is about to collapse from within.
“Bolon’s hand held the rat up to the mustache and thick grey fibers sank into the flesh.”
“Bolton” is spelled as “Bolon” near the end of the piece
Also, since Hope Hicks left, I feel like the story line is missing sex appeal. Maybe, a topless Nikki Haley could appear at some point or something. Talking breasts?
This was also the scariest installment. Hat and Hair Bolton is more disturbing than the real thing. Well done
Adding orifices to breasts does NOT improve their sex appeal. Sweet Jesus, weren’t you around for the shitting dick nipples?
Adding orifices to breasts does NOT improve their sex appeal.
Objectively wrong. A boob with a mouth giving you a blow job is the sexiest thing anyone has ever thought of.
“Warty Hugeman and the Fellating Tits of Rigel VII”
Careful now. This is a family friendly site. Says so right there near the logo.
grumble grumble OK grumble
You know who else was known for his mustache and had an insatiable thirst for war?
Kaiser Wilhelm II?
This is easy, it’s obviously Wilford Brimley
“War. Its the right thing to do.”
But is it the tasty way to do it?
beat us or die
BAH. All you damn kids are gonna get DiabEEEtus!
Rufus T. Firefly?
?
Peter the Great?
Alpheus S. Williams
General Burnside?
From the day Ambrose was given his surname, he was destined to grow those chops.
They were actually named after him. Just like hookers and Joseph Hooker.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hooker
George Custer, Teddy Roosevelt?
Dr. Fu Manchu?
John Holmes?
Eric Burdon?
^ winner
*spills wine*
Agreed, winnah!
Ah, a fellow connoisseur!
And if you like that, this should blow your mind.
This one should blow your mind too – Eric Burdon performing Hold On, I’m Comin’ backed by the Bar-Kays, Otis Redding’s band, after being introduced by Otis himself.
If Eric Burdon isn’t the greatest singer of his generation, he’s top three at least.
That’s the most 70’s sounding song I can think of.
Teddy Roosevelt?
“Dulce et decorum est Pro patria mori.”
-Bolton’s mustache
If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,—
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.
-Wilfred Owens.
Halfway through my five year renewal lead safe certification class. Nothing like going over shit for a whole day that you already know. I’m bored out of my tit here.
Could be worse. There could be a marching band outside your office playing circus music.
What do you do that requires lead? Just don’t breathe the fumes when Soldering and you should be good to go….
I was hired by a remodeling company recently to run a residential painting crew. Earlier this week I went to a house that failed a lead test on all exterior sides and I had to leave the site because my certification expired a few months ago. So now they rushed me into a class so I can return to the site and finish up before the deadline. The salesman was supposed to test/know if the home had lead and factor it into the bid. He didn’t. Now the job has added a huge new element and may no longer be profitable…the company owners are pissed.
Salesperson: “And here’s the desk next to the west-facing exterior wall. This is where you will be sitting from now on, forever. Huh? Oh, yeah, I promised the customer 24/7 on-site support. I’m sure you can handle it. Thanks Chief!” *Drives off in BMW*
I had some windows replaced and the contractors had to treat the exterior as a lead hazard. They crossed off the front door with hazard tape (we just went under walking in and out) and plastic sheeting taped on the floor directly underneath the window. I assume they had special filters in the vacuum. Finally they photographed their precautions. It added about $50 to the total job.
I talked to team leader and he told me it was done to prevent the EPA hammer, though the sheeting made sense regardless. He said the EPA does not issue any guidance, just destroys businesses they deem to have messed up, so they had to trial and error it. Before realizing their current method was acceptable, each window guy wore a full body Tyveck suit, rooms were sealed off floor to ceiling with plastic, and the entire job had to be continuously videotaped for proof. It added hundreds of extra dollars in costs for the homeowner.
We make you spend your money for your own protection. Now thank us, shitlord.
Thank you.
All to filter a substance as used as the benchmark for heaviness out of the air.
I’ve never heard of the constant live video recording bit. Usually still photos should be enough.
Must be a properly rated hepa vac.
Doesn’t every painted surface constructed before 1990 have lead in it?
1978 but pretty much yeah.
Back in ’05 I worked at a very, very old hardware store in Brooklyn. In the basement, there was about 100 gallons of Red Lead marine bottom paint. Cotradictory FedGov, State, and City regulations about sale, transport, and disposal meant that it was destined to sit on that pallet in the basement until the cans eventually rusted through. Sigh… it’s really, really good paint.
lead
follow
get out of the way
How hard is that?
do I need to pick?
Anarchist, Magic the Gathering ninth edition.
Are, not ate. Grumble grumble, stupid phone, grumble.
I thought it was a cannibal anarchist.
I just get out of the way*
*Not Sure
“Yeah, Joe, you’re not supposed to pick “get out of the way”. It’s supposed to embarrass you into leading, or at least following.”
+24 hours biennially CLE
Yeah, ain’t it fun…and oh, so useful.
*pisses on IL ARDC*
i hired a tester after buying my place who collected samples from seven different interior spots throughout and reported back trace amounts but no “lead-based” paint. gave me a nice lab report and everything. how rare is that for a house built in the 40s?
Milk paint, huh?
right, for all those Amish communities settling into WWII housing developments built in VA.
NEVER VOLUNTARILY TEST FOR LEAD. If the test is positive it means you have knowledge of contamination and just set yourself up to either spend tens of thousands ‘remediating’ or lose tens of thousands in reduced sale value.
PS I hate my profession for a lot of sins, but coining terms like remediating is way up on the list. Remedying, fixing, abating all are perfectly good words; why did we need another?
I’m starting a remodel and the contractor keep using the term “heal the drywall”. I thought it was odd. What’s wrong with “fix the drywall”?
If you use enough jargon you look expert and people pay you more.
*sigh*
*peels off a $20 for Jar*
No, no, he said ‘Heel the drywall’, he was planning to kick it.
I already kicked it in. I need him to fix it.
Cut clean square hole
Place new patch
Tape joints
Float with 8″ knife
Wet sponge
using 5 minute mud, float 10″
wet sand
Float with 14″
wet sponge
you left out the
Go to next room, paint
Before paint dries return to first room and sand drywall
Look confused when property owner screams about the paint job.
steps
That was Funny
lol!
well how’s that for unintended consequences from EPA regulations.
coining terms like remediating is way up on the list
Yup. In healthcare, its “utilization”. I have yet to see any use of this term where either “use” or “usage” wouldn’t be perfectly cromulent.
I am sure you have it worse than me. You get all the Lawyer jargon, plus all the Doctor jargon, plus insurance codes/terms, plus layers and layers of bureaucratese. I, very early on in my practice, tries to help a friend out with a personal injury case, and just getting patient records drove me to drink. Naive me reads HIPAA rules, drafts an authorization to disclose, send it a clinic and 2 hospitals. All 3 reject it, then send me their forms (scanned and faxed pdfs, to make sure I have to fill in all details by hand). All 3 forms are essentially indistinguishable from each other, and from my initial submission, but each must be used for the appropriate hospital or they won’t comply.
Pretty rare. 87% of all homes pre-1940 used lead based paints.
‘The Democratic National Committee has filed a lawsuit against the Russian government, Donald Trump’s campaign and WikiLeaks, alleging a widespread conspiracy to help swing the 2016 US presidential election in Trump’s favor.’
This made me laugh.
Its a trick…they figure every defense firm in the DC area will kill themselves scrambling to get the job of beating this suit into dust.
They only theory that makes since to me is that Hilary was deeply in debt to gambling syndicates and threw the election so the syndicates could score big bucks.
Never underestimate the power of a person who believes their own bullshit.
They were broke when they left the White House, nearly destitute, or so I’ve heard.
Wake me up when they file suit against Bernie Sanders.
The 2018 elections are in November, so they need to add fuel to the dwindling fire, so they can keep the morons that sop this nonsense up, engaged. Fatigue has been setting in, as practically every single on of the fantastical conspiracy stories they have been feeding the butthurt progtards are dying, as the truth keeps diverting form the fantasy that the people that believe they will somehow use these stupid conspiracy theories to invalidate an election and put their queen back on the throne..
Fucking morons…
This is absolutely why. The RCP average of the generic ballot shows the D lead down to +5.5, the lowest since last May and significantly down from their +13 lead in December. When the Dems had their great year in 2006 the generic ballot had them up +11, so the Blue Wave is ebbing.
It already smells like that.
I thought that was unwashed skin.
Whatever it was, it was cookin…
+ 122 degrees
An excerpt from James Comey’s book: On The Nature of Humor: or, I Know Funny. My Wife Frequently Says I Am Very Funny.
“You’re a funny man Jimmy.”
/Ahnold accent
Think about this Gil.
People payed money for that book. Real money.
I have trouble believing that.
I assume real money, but not real people. Like the Hillary Clinton book that sold 5M copies, and 4.3M are in a warehouse somewhere.
Even worse. This was one of those “Top. Men.” we keep hearing about. This guy was your better.
I try never to read these expolitician or exbureaucrat books. The writing is almost invariably the text equivalent of eating papier mache.
You think I’m funny?
Pet theory: the ghostwriter really hated Comey and was happy to make him look like a feeble-minded, uptight tool.
Jeebus, what a sickening display of sycophancy.
Yeah, when I think of Obama, the first thing I think is “you know, that guy had “a balance of confidence and humility”.
Everyone knows Hitler never laughed.
I was expecting the mustache to be made out of dead rat. What a plot twist!
Thank you Sug for that special gift on this special day. Love the mustache.
And I did an inverse Brooksie.
Florida Man going down for doing something that shouldn’t be illegal this time.
Bitch set me up!
What makes Saturday so special? Is Friday bath night?
‘Saturday Night Special”
Hernando County Commissioner Nick Nicholson, 71
On Tuesday he’s paying to start sex.
On Saturday, he’s paying to finish…
“Get over here girl, I’m about to come!”
Peak demand
surge pricing
^THIS^
That story is a hoot.
It’s a goldmine, really:
Your duly-elected county commissioner, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah, old Nick “Gloryhole” Nicholson. What a peach.
I don’t get the domestic abuse angle. Your wife gets you free rent and presumably is off your payroll since she fucks people for money. You were okay with that until you weren’t? What is that point?
Heroes in blue crack down on child pornographers
Sex offenders in elementary school. What a wonderful life they can look forward to.
Parents need to have a candid conversation with their kids about the seriousness, and the long term effects, of taking and sending nude photographs.
Like having some jackass cop arrest a preteen for pics of herself and set her up for life on the registry? You mean those long term effects you !@#$%^&ing piece of #$%^&?
Avicii Is Dead
I used to rave a lot and went to a few of his shows. I used to be an EDM junkie and some of his noise was my favorite. He and I are similar age, and I read his Rolling Stone interview and I concur with things he complains about in the scene. I wonder what killed him.
Drinking, presumably:
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-04-20/urgent-producer-and-dj-known-as-avicii-has-been-found-dead
Granted, that was years ago, but 28 year olds don’t otherwise drop dead.
testosterone poisoning
Yeah, common sense points that way, but I’m withholding judgment.
It is 420 and we all know injecting even one weed can kill you, so alcohol may not have been the cause.
True, too many weeds have claimed so many innocents.
…but 28 year olds don’t otherwise drop dead.
Sure they do. All the time. Even athletes. Sudden cardiac arrest is not as uncommon as people think.
See: hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy; Long QT syndrome.
True, I overstated it. That said, “28 years old, history of intense alcohol abuse”, I will play the odds. Regardless of the proximate cause, 28 is depressingly young.
Agreed. I was just being pedantic.
I need a cocktail.
If a 28 year old has already had his Gall Bladder and Appendix removed due to pancreatitis from alcohol abuse, I’d say the odds favor alcohol being at least a mediate cause of his death.
Oh, I know, in this case it’s likely. But, for accuracy….
I just get tired of hearing people say stuff like that. I wasn’t picking on Slumbrew personally.
Baseball teammate, 23 yrs old. Sleep Apnea. Gone.
That sucks, I liked his Stuff
It is way too late, but I need to say that I forgot to add that John Bolton’s mustache was dreamed up as a character by Brett L. I had meant to credit/blame him in the post itself, but completely forgot in my rush to cover myself in glory.
At least clean up your glory afterwards. You’re starting to smell weird.
Its the curry. SugarFree loves the stuff.
my rush to cover myself in glory.
“Glory.” Is that what you kids are calling it, these days?
In which i learned that Claire McKaskill has a super-rich husband who makes his money off of… surprise!, investments in public-housing developments, the bread-and-butter of cronyist cronyism on Planet Crony.
Of course, if you applied the same scrutiny to every other member of congress, it would be like an explosion of bugs fleeing the sudden exposure of a lifted rock.
If you want to taste the degree of hubris required to be that sort of crony scumbag, i dare you to look at this
his
charity*funneling public-money* work has made him worth about ~$50millionClaire McKaskill (silent D)
The article never explicitly says she is a Democrat. Only (R)s get tagged in media.
Lol
He’s a minority contractor shell. He’s basically in the business of filing paperwork to take a percentage of 8a contracts that he”manages”. Thus he’s exempt from the time limitation on 8a designations.
this is arcane science to me, but i’m literate enough to know this motherfucker is basically
“donating money to pols, asking what developments they’re planning, and then ‘investing’ in them”
or, forget “asking”: just telling them what projects would be great places to throw public-money
There are a large number of businesses that exist solely to fulfill requirements for minority contractors on federal jobs. Shepard has found one way to reap massive rewards from that system. There are many others.
Proposals for DoD jobs are graded not just on cost/performance, but on how minority/small business $ they’ll pass out if they win.
Lots of folks make money reselling stuff just so the prime contractors can get small business/minority business points. The primes then have to babysit them ’cause they’re mostly not so competent.
Every time i think i’m hip to how fucked up things are, i’m always surprised how much worse things really are.
Affirmative action production and storage of WMDs scares you?
Joseph Shepard always had a calling to help the less fortunate,
By which he mans Joseph Shepard.
Behold Washington, Youngling and tremble before Its Powah! https://youtu.be/4rorJCGF1aM
Joseph Shepard always had a calling to help the less fortunate, and throughout his career, he’s answered that call by developing and investing in affordable housing for elderly and low-income families.
“Da balls on dis guy. He’s a regular Robbin’ Hood, he is.”
If a man without a mustache is a man without a soul, what is a mustache without a man?
Other than the stuff
dreamsnightmares are made of?It’s the part of your soul that didn’t make it out of purgatory.
War.
What is it good for amirite?
Which is why Tolstoy changed the title to War and Peace.