Friday Morning Links of Bad Luck

Happy Friday the 13th. Hopefully you’re old enough to know that God’s own shit chute can point at you on any day and date confluence, but I don’t know how those guys in the Cishetero Disaster Timezone do it. In sports, now that the hockey season has started, Bolts, Bruins and Predators all put up 5 in wins. The BJs needed all 4 to beat Washington, and the Sharks beat the Ducks. No pushing and standing around happened in baseball last night. The BoSox are just tearing it up, as are the Angels. Looks like all the Dodger bandwagonners won’t have too far to go when they jump off. And now… the links!

First off, the person to climb the body of the youth hockey team injured and killed in a terrible accident has been found. Tip of the toque to beloved contributor Gordilocks

Science proves communism makes nations poorer and less healthy. Send this to your IFLS commie friends.

CNN is suddenly very concerned about President Trump’s accusers being silenced. Huge turnaround from the Clinton years where they were obsessed with silencing the President’s accusers.

More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life. Which is why I drink at least two. Also, in a discovery that will shock absolutely no one who has been a part of the restaurant industry, Food Preparation and Serving have the highest incidence of marijuana use.

Triskaidekaphobia you say?

Comments

383 responses to “Friday Morning Links of Bad Luck”

  1. When the early testing shows serious problems caused by your proposed refactoring of the directory services do you A: Pause the project and attempt to figure out why the issues are arising and remediate them, B: do a phased roll out so you can address issues with smaller impacted populations at a time, or C: Change the entire damn agency at once and blame the application administrators when everything breaks?

    1. leonadasiv

      C. Always the right answer, because good leaders are bold.

      1. Well, look forward to a day of additional wasted taxpayer dollars, because that’s what they did.

        And I have to clean up after them.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          Not my tax dollars. While I’m certain that Pennsylvania’s IT departments are just as imbecilic, I’m blissfully unaware of their latest shenanigans.

          1. They’re my fucking tax dollars, and shits like Cuomo are addicted to them.

          2. AlexinCT

            It’s how you prog harder bro…

            Don’t you prog harder?

        2. spqr2008

          And if there’s no directory information, there’s no one to bother them with work.

          1. leonadasiv

            Kinda like my idea to remove everyone’s access to the application, in order to resolve outstanding issues.

    2. Badolph Hilter

      It depends, I am on my first envelope or my second envelope?

    3. Well, we got the big screaming fit cleared up for my desk. There are smaller screaming fits, but the Sev 2 is closed.

      We had to do a mass update on the database side to change all the application users to match the damage the AD team did. Shame we went with single sign-on.

      1. Number.6

        I held up a project at my old firm for nearly 3 months while the Server team got its AD shit together so that the databases would work. Best shitstorm I ever weathered, holding out on that.

  2. If one drink a day could shorten your life, I would have died in 1804.

      1. *Belches loudly*

        1. AHHH?! WHO DID THAT?

          *whirls around frantically*

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Somebody hid Krugabe’s meds again, he’s yelling at the birds in the back yard, calling them Nazis.

    The Paul Ryan Story: From Flimflam to Fascism

    Look, the single animating principle of everything Ryan did and proposed was to comfort the comfortable while afflicting the afflicted.

    So how did such an obvious con artist get a reputation for seriousness and fiscal probity? Basically, he was the beneficiary of ideological affirmative action.

    And if you ask why Ryan never took a stand against Trumpian corruption, why he never showed any concern about Trump’s authoritarian tendencies, what ever made you think he would take such a stand? Again, if you look at Ryan’s actions, not the character he played to gullible audiences, he has never shown himself willing to sacrifice anything he wants — not one dime — on behalf of his professed principles. Why on earth would you expect him to stick his neck out to defend the rule of law?

    So now Ryan is leaving. Good riddance. But hold the celebrations: If he was no better than the rest of his party, he was also no worse. It’s possible that his successor as speaker will show more backbone than he has — but only if that successor is, well, a Democrat.

    1. leonadasiv

      he’s disgusting stay stain on economics.

    2. Private Chipperbot

      authoritarian tendencies

      This from the guy who worships all things China?

      1. AlexinCT

        But China does the “right” authoritarian things, and more importantly, its leaders profess to be marxists. And that makes them shmaarth!

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Why should they be allowed to call people fascists without justification?

      You’re a pure, true, piece of shit Krugman.

    4. SugarFree

      So how did such an obvious con artist get a reputation for seriousness and fiscal probity?

      Everyone reading your drivel asks themselves that, Kruggy.

    5. Rufus the Monocled

      Comments:

      “Martin

      Times Pick
      What you are describing, of course, is not just Mr. Ryan but the soul of today’s Republican party. They do not have principles; instead they have power. Their goal is to make the world conform, or appear to conform, to their extremist but profitable economic ideology. Poor people are a problem not because they suffer, but because they contradict the idea that enriching the rich benefits all. Social Security & Medicare are problems not because they don’t work, but because they do. Democracy and government must be demonized not so they can be reformed, but so that the public will leave the powerful alone to use government for their own profit. I often disagree with Mr. Krugman, but I thank him for speaking the truth about Mr. Ryan.”

      Times pick folks.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes, trillion dollar increases in budgets indicate a hatred of government. It’s obvious.

        1. AlexinCT

          The money isn’t going to the left’s pet peeves, and more important, it is not one of them living at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, so yeah, this is government hate..

      2. Rebel Scum

        They do not have principles; instead they have power. Their goal is to make the world conform, or appear to conform, to their extremist but profitable economic ideology.

        Pure, grade-A projection.

    6. Am Sock

      Wow, the comments on that article sure are disheartening. Paul Ryan is a pretty vanilla politician and they have turned him into some sort of boogeyman in their minds. I can’t even figure out what exactly they wanted from him anyway. They rip on him slashing welfare programs (must’ve missed that) and then castigate his spending bills. The only thing I can glean from the whole mess is that apparently anything other than pure unadulterated socialism is now fascism in their minds.

      1. DesigNate

        He said he read Ayn Rand and held up a copy of The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged once. That’s all the proof they need that he’s a crypto-fascist.

      2. AlexinCT

        Wow, the comments on that article sure are disheartening. Paul Ryan is a pretty vanilla politician and they have turned him into some sort of boogeyman in their minds.

        Once you do that you don’t have to argue your insanity on facts, logic, or reason, and are free to basically dismiss the other side as being morons, despite the fact that your side continues to fail and fail horribly.

      3. Scruffy Nerfherder

        anything other than pure unadulterated socialism is now fascism

        I would argue with you over definitions since “fascism” is a subset of “socialism”, but it’s pointless because “fascist” is a meaningless term at this point.

        1. Am Sock

          I agree with you 100%, I was just using their language.

      4. Bobarian LMD

        Didn’t you see that documentary where he pushed his Grandma off the cliff in her wheel chair?

      5. Rebel Scum

        Paul Ryan is a pretty vanilla politician and they have turned him into some sort of boogeyman in their minds.

        Two Words: Mitt Romney

    7. Rebel Scum

      Trump’s authoritarian tendencies

      Reducing taxes/regulation and repealing Barry’s constitutionally dubious e.o.’s is “authoritarian”…

  4. The Late P Brooks

    I made the mistake of turning on the Bloombergers this morning. They’re all aflutter about Comey’s book. They’re like thirteen year olds finding out about Lady Chatterly’s Lover.

    “Comey says Trump is just loike a MOB BOSS! Tee hee hee.”

    Fucking retards. I remember now why I stopped watching.

    1. AlexinCT

      This coming from the guy that let off Hillary – a real crime syndicate boss if there ever was one – is kind of ironic..

    2. CPRM

      Remember the last book that was supposed to take Trumpf down? Always a new shiny object to cover for their failed past predictions.

  5. Gordilocks

    I wish a toque was tipped my way for something positive.

    Can we burn the national broadcaster to the ground, please?

    1. Caput Lupinum

      I’ll bring the torches if you can snag some pitchforks.

  6. Slammer

    Infants at Missoula daycare exposed to meth by caregiver

    A 30-year-old Missoula daycare worker faces child endangerment and drug charges after prosecutors say she was using methamphetamine while caring for infants.

    Court records said Heinz smoked meth in a laundry room cabinet. A cleaning company said tests showed she may have also smoked in an employee bathroom, exhaling into a vent fan and exposing the entire daycare to meth. Cleanup costs could exceed $80,000.

    Cleaning company sounds legit.

    1. leonadasiv

      On a related note, when I recently purchased my house, I realized what a sham all the additional testing you can get are.

      1. Tundra

        Are you joking? WHAT ABOUT THE RAAAADOOOOON!?!

  7. A Fuggin White Male

    I can tell you as someone in the trucking business that Canadian standards for obtaining a CDL are an absolute joke. That said, I’m not sure more regulation is necessary. Insurance companies have been correcting this issue for awhile.

    1. Gordilocks

      The point is, though, that no report on the cause of the crash has been released, and the driver involved has been with no charges laid.

      You can’t scream MOAR REGULASHIONZ from the top of a pile of dead bodies while there is no evidence that the driver did anything wrong.

      1. leonadasiv

        Ahhhh that’s where you are wrong. Dead bodies make the sturdiest platform from which to spew any inefectual idea.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          I’ll leave my fuzzy dice outside the door for the union drivers.

      2. JW

        Never let the facts get in the way of a good crisis whorin’.

      3. Caput Lupinum

        You can’t scream MOAR REGULASHIONZ from the top of a pile of dead bodies while there is no evidence that the driver did anything wrong.

        There was a tragedy; something must be done, and new regulations are something. Sure, they won’t prevent new tragedies and would have done nothing to prevent the tragedy that is being used to justify the new regulations, but they’re something.

        See: every proposed gun control measure after a school shooting.

        1. Drake

          something always = More Government

        2. Ban all trucks!

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The NYT is getting its Paul Ryan hate on today, with an extra-special appearance by a special guest star, Little Willie Wilkinson

    Politics isn’t physics, but a governing Republican philosophy that sees it as a moral imperative to slash the budgets of social programs that benefit mainly older and working-class white people is bound, sooner or later, to drive a party of mainly older and working-class white people off a cliff. The slow-motion disaster now unfolding in Washington results in no small measure from Mr. Ryan’s puzzling success in persuading Republican elites that they could flourish as the party of free-market, anti-redistributive convictions.

    If only he had slashed some programs.

    The forthcoming implosion of Mr. Ryan’s party, and his imminent retreat to Wisconsin, illustrates the danger of hidebound ideological overconfidence. Party elites in the grip of dogma can’t see the point of checking in with the people they represent and are blind to new problems the partisan catechism is not equipped to comprehend. If a decent Republican Party one day rises from the devastation Paul Ryan practically invited Donald Trump to inflict, it will be one that has stopped legislating for an imaginary world of self-financing tax cuts, having rediscovered and realigned with the basic interests of aging and working-class white suburban and rural American voters. It will take their woes seriously, and nurture their welfare, not their grievance.

    Niskanen strikes again!

    1. leonadasiv

      If you can’t trust the Niskansen center to be true to their principles, who can you trust?

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m firmly convinced that Niskanen’s only principle is to suck up to popular media opinion.

        1. leonadasiv

          And do they ever betray it?

    2. WTF

      …the devastation Paul Ryan practically invited Donald Trump to inflict…

      What devastation has Trump inflicted, exactly? The all-time lowest black and Hispanic unemployment? The rising GDP? Historically low unemployment, with increasing labor participation? What is this idiot referring to, exactly?

      1. Bupkis. I’m less and less a fan of the man as the days go by but not for economic reasons. Although he may change that depending on how this China TRADE WAR ZOMG!!@! goes.

      2. TK

        His scary tweets, obviously.

      3. AlexinCT

        He managed to win an election the left had figured they had already rigged and stolen for their crime syndicate boss Shillary, so she could double down on the evils of Obama’s weaponized government, and finally send all those wrong-think people to gulags?

    3. SugarFree

      Party elites in the grip of dogma can’t see the point of checking in with the people they represent and are blind to new problems the partisan catechism is not equipped to comprehend.

      The irony is thick and rich today, coating the tongue with unctuous desire.

      1. Without knowing the context, I’d have assumed he was talking about the Democratic Party with regard to the Clinton campaign.

        1. Left Hand of Radar

          It burns me up that a tool like Wilkinson gets to bang Kerry Howley… and I don’t.

  9. Mustang

    According to that drinking article I am probably down somewhere between 2 and 10 years, and you know what? I’m okay with that. Based on my family’s predilection for being alcoholics until their mid-80s, some 90s, and one great grandmother who is somehow still alive at 107, I’m good with the odds.

    1. Chafed

      Genetics for the win.

      1. WTF

        Yup, I had a grandmother who was an alcoholic and chain smoked her entire life. Lived into her 90s.

  10. gbob

    Man with small animal up his ass praises another small mammal who may, or may not, also fit up his ass.

    “I’m incredibly moved by what she has done in the human rights world and the people who have come through her office, also, including Marco Rubio, who is a real star in the human rights world. He learned it from her and the depth of where he’s coming from, he learned from her,” Gere said.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    So now Ryan is leaving. Good riddance. But hold the celebrations: If he was no better than the rest of his party, he was also no worse. It’s possible that his successor as speaker will show more backbone than he has — but only if that successor is, well, a Democrat.

    It’s a shame. I used to be able to read Krugabe for entertainment value, but it’s just embarrassing, like when the chemtrails guy suddenly strips naked and takes a giant shit in the middle of a busy street.

    And then eats it.

    1. leonadasiv

      *shudders*

      It’s funny because he just wrote about how leftists scholars aren’t shills, when he clearly is the biggest shill for the Democratic party. I don’t think he can physically say anything bad about them.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        “They don’t do a good enough job of explaining their policies to the dumb hicks.”

    2. The Late P Brooks

      The forthcoming implosion of Mr. Ryan’s party, and his imminent retreat to Wisconsin, illustrates the danger of hidebound ideological overconfidence. Party elites in the grip of dogma can’t see the point of checking in with the people they represent and are blind to new problems the partisan catechism is not equipped to comprehend. If a decent Republican Party one day rises from the devastation Paul Ryan practically invited Donald Trump to inflict, it will be one that has stopped legislating for an imaginary world of self-financing tax cuts, having rediscovered and realigned with the basic interests of aging and working-class white suburban and rural American voters. It will take their woes seriously, and nurture their welfare, not their grievance.

      Uh-huh.

      1. WTF

        It’s always projection with the left.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It must be Friday the 13th. Brooks just threaded.

        *prepares for Rapture*

        1. Holy crap…you are right!

          *hits knees in prayer*

          1. JW

            END TIMES

          2. Psycho Effer

            “Gentlemen, let the missiles fly!”

        2. WTF

          Oh dear God…….

        3. Mustang

          I’m actually concerned now.

        4. Slammer

          LMFAO

        5. Tonio

          Ia, ia, Cthulhu fhtagn!

        6. RegicidalManiac

          Welp, looks like the end times are upon us. Time to get out the robes, “The End is Nigh” sign, and my tinfoil hat to go out and tell the world.

        7. Count Potato

          Good thing I bookmarked this site:

          http://heavensgate.com/

      3. A Fuggin White Male

        “Party elites in the grip of dogma can’t see the point of checking in with the people they represent and are blind to new problems the partisan catechism is not equipped to comprehend.”

        As if it couldn’t be any more clear:

        THE…. LEFT…. ALWAYS…. PROJECTS!

        A L W A Y S P R O J E C T S
        L
        W
        A
        Y
        S
        P
        R
        O
        J
        E
        C
        T
        S

        ALWAYS… FUCKING… PROJECTS!

      4. TK

        Holy fuck. I always thought I’d die young, now I know it’s certain.

  12. gbob

    I prefer bum fights, myself. If children aren’t going to be allowed to work in the mines, we should at least be able to get entertainment out of them.

    A now-fired substitute teacher who police said encouraged students to smack each other in one-on-one fights in his Montville High School math class was arrested Thursday.

    Ryan Avery Fish, 23, of South Road in Bozrah, told police “I’m an idiot” who just wanted to be friends with the students, according to the warrant for his arrest

    1. leonadasiv

      “Ryan Avery Fish, 23, ”

      This guy is 5 years older than these kids. He could have gone to school with them. Where do we think someone so young could be qualified to teach high school, when they are still in high school.

      1. I have more than one friend who has dated, is dating, or married someone ten years older than themselves. So, yeah, when you’ve got a 24-year-old teacher as the freight car in a train of lacrosse team juniors at beach week I’m not exactly stunned.

      2. Tonio

        But it wasn’t that long ago that the only qualification to teach 1-12 was a HS diploma. That was before the bullshit degrees in education, the teacher unions and all the other crap that killed the schools.

        But also we expected a lot more maturity from eighteen year olds back then.

        1. Gadfly

          But it wasn’t that long ago that the only qualification to teach 1-12 was a HS diploma.

          It should still be that way, IMO. I think that after graduating from high school an aspiring teacher should be apprenticed to an experienced teacher for a set of years and that should suffice to prepare them to teach.

      3. A Leap at the Wheel

        Teaching high school isn’t some magically difficult chore that necessarily takes decades to master before someone can be allowed to try it out. The problem is that the pipeline of candidates for the job is populated by people that I wouldn’t trust with a book of matches, let alone with children. And the pipeline is full of those kinds of people because state-run schools have turned one of the true joys of the human experience (shaping young children into productive proto-adults) into a soul-crushing bureaucratic nightmare.

        There’s nothing wrong with a HS teacher being 23 years old. I taught summer school for “at-risk, college bound” utes when i was 24. But I’m not a fuck head, so nothing bad happened. I also didn’t go into the HS teacher pipeline, because I would have rather slammed my dick in a car door than put up with that kind of bureaucracy.

  13. JW

    More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life.

    My response to anyone who has argued that “X will take N years off of your life.” has been “Have you seen those last few years?” [guzzles vigorously]

    1. Mustang

      Exactly this.

      Cheers.

      1. Proschtli!

        *hoists one*

        1. Mustang

          乾杯!

  14. wchipperdove

    Sure, one drink can shorten your life. At the end of your life! And that’s if you live long enough to die of old age or something similar. (Heck, that’s when you’d want a drink the most.) So, screw it and drink up now.

    1. Rasilio

      This is something everyone seems to overlook.

      I’ve never had an alcoholic beverage or used any mind altering substance stronger than caffene in my life but as I approach 50 I an seriously considering starting. I mean what the fuck do I got to lose? It’s gonna shorten my life? News flash the good parts of my life are pretty much gone and while I’m not itching to shuffle off this mortal coil any time soon whacking a few years of extra suffering off the end by self medicating and making the ones between now and then more pleasant ain’t looking so bad.

      There’s valid reasons for avoiding drink and drugs in your teens, twenties, thirties, and fourties but once you hit 50 they are pretty much all gone

      1. Psycho Effer

        ^ This.

        1. AlexinCT

          Seconded.

      2. Badolph Hilter

        So you’re saying I *should* buy the Porsche I’ve got bookmarked on cars.com?

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Is that the limited edition Paul Walker model?

          1. Badolph Hilter

            VERY limited.

      3. EvilSheldon

        Seriously. I’ve noticed that the people howling the loudest about things that will shorten my life, don’t generally have any hobbies or interests beyond watching TV and going out to eat. What, exactly, are they preserving themselves for?

        1. Badolph Hilter

          They need YOU to keep paying into the system until they are ready to cash out.

    2. A Leap at the Wheel

      I haven’t read the article, but I wonder how much is due to the alcohol, and how much is due to the fact that people who drink on the reg are also people who engage in risky behaviors like walking on thin ice, crossing the freeway on foot, or otherwise engaging in Florida Man type activities

  15. The Late P Brooks

    WTF?

    1. WTF

      Yes?

      1. *symphony applause*

    2. leonadasiv

      I don’t know who you are anymore.

      1. An alien replicant?!

        1. Private Chipperbot

          Mr. Lizard sighs and focuses disrupters on blown agent.

          1. Mr Lizard

            See below

    3. Slammer

      You fucked up, Tulpa

    4. TK

      I always thought you were pure, Brooks. I always thought you were pure *runs away crying*

  16. gbob

    Another victory in our war on prostitution. I mean, it’s not like people have been trading sex for goods for a long time, or anything.

    Attorney General Ken Paxton announced today that his office’s prosecution of Backpage.com has resulted in the company pleading guilty to human trafficking in Texas and its CEO Carl Ferrer pleading guilty to money laundering. This comes less than a week after the attorney general’s office assisted the Department of Justice with permanently shutting down the website.

    Ferrer will be sentenced to up to five years in prison once he’s fulfilled the terms of his plea agreement with Attorney General Paxton’s office. His cooperation in the ongoing investigation into Backpage could lead to other criminal charges against individuals associated with the company.

    Anyone know why he accepted the plea and didn’t fight it on 1A grounds?

    1. WTF

      Probably because they threatened him with 30 years to life for thousands of counts of “human trafficking” and he didn’t want to risk a jury full of morons.

    2. tarran

      He has family. He has employees. They have families. There are a million ways for the sociopaths in the DA’s office to torment false guilty pleas out of the decent.

      1. AlexinCT

        And that in a nutshell explains our legal system. Small fires and big fries would all be cooked unless they have the right political affiliations and pedigree…

    3. leonadasiv

      Remember, government will always be there to find the girls dumped in the ditch.

      1. Mr Lizard

        Well that’s assuming we don’t get to them first…

      2. Bobarian LMD

        Sometimes the government is there to dump the girls, and blame whomever comes looking.

        1. R C Dean

          + 1 Lion of the Senate.

    4. DesigNate

      Fuck Ken Paxton and fuck this socon/feminazi coalition. I’d say more, but I don’t want a salty fuck like Paxton to have any reason to fuck with Glibs.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life.

    Teh Demon Rum will kill you. The WCTU told us that long ago.

    1. JW

      Science!

      1. WTF

        Is that Elizabeth Warren?

        1. Tundra

          That’s a man, baby!

          1. WTF

            Wilford Brimley?

          2. Chipwooder

            It’s the right thing to do, and a tasty way to do it

          3. The Last American Hero

            Be Xe identifies as xer spirit animal.

        2. Drake

          First wave feminism. Who would have believed that it only got worse?

        3. Tonio

          Golf clap.

      2. Mojeaux

        Oh! The lady who got run out of Kansas City by the Pendergast Machine, with her tail between her legs!

          1. Mojeaux

            Slightly different spelling there, but good music choice.

  18. Tundra

    Science proves communism makes nations poorer and less healthy.

    That’s only because they didn’t have the right people in charge.

    1. AlexinCT

      Fake sciunce!

  19. The Late P Brooks

    It must be Friday the 13th. Brooks just threaded.

    I’ve been hijacked! I’m not saying it was aliens/strike> the cat, but…

    1. Mr Lizard

      Relax, We didn’t skin-suit you. Just hit you with a compulsion field. You would call it a mind flashy thing. The effects will wear off soon, just drink plenty of water.

      1. JW

        *scoffs* Grain alcohol and rainwater for Brooksie.

      2. Mustang

        Tulpa…lizards…P. Brooks threads…this is some sort of…Glibularity.

        Brett, what have you done with these links?

        1. commodious spittoon

          The Glibbening.

        2. *throws salt over shoulder*

  20. Congratulations on making it to Friday! Here’s your reward.

    http://archive.is/SL2QV

    In Friday the 13th fashion, they will suck your soul out through your penis during intercourse, leaving you a lifeless husk. But it’s worth it.

    1. Evan from Evansville

      I fell in love with #1 and after scrolling all the way through, my heart remains stolen.

      My god is she cute. That amazing blur where girls are super hot but still seem down to earth and relatable.

      *Swooooooon…..siiiiiiigh*

      #4 looks shopped. If it isn’t…then idk something weird is going on there.

    2. Haven’t had time to peruse the entire selection, but please invite nos. 5, 6, and 11 to my suite, with my compliments.

    3. Count Potato

      38 is trap?

      1. Like a Trap Queen?

    4. DesigNate

      #14 with a side of 39, please and thank you.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Good grief.

  22. Which timezone is cis-hetero shitlord?

    1. Hold on, lemme check…

      *checks Q’s link upthread*

      …EST, apparently.

        1. What does that make Mountain?

          1. Brett L

            Mansplaining

          2. Tundra

            Wrong.

  23. Mojeaux

    I got married on Friday the 13th. On purpose. 16 years later, still going strong. “Fuck you, universe.”

    1. SugarFree

      I got talked into getting married on Sylvia Plath’s birthday. As omens for a poor marriage, that one is up there.

      1. gbob

        At least you know you’re marrying a woman who knows her way around the oven.

        1. SugarFree

          If only that were the case… 🙁

        2. slumbrew

          At least you know you’re marrying a woman who knows her way around the oven.

          ** thunderous applause **

        3. Michael

          Damn.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        That is hilarious

      3. Mojeaux

        I’m sorry that happened and I’m sorry I LOL’d.

    2. Brett L

      I also was married on Friday the 13th, but only four and a half years ago.

      1. Mojeaux

        I have no words of wisdom. We figure it out as we go.

    3. Chipwooder

      My wedding was on the 13th, but not a Friday. I feel so left out.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Suckers! I got married on June 1 because it’s an easy to remember day.

        Of course, I still forget.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          April the 15th. But this year I don’t have to acknowledge it until April 17.

          1. Gustave Lytton

            lol

            Especially with the John Cleese avatar. I’m hearing it as Basil Fawlty discussing his marriage with Sybil.

          2. AlexinCT

            I wanted to get married on April 1st but never got that. After 23 years we went our own ways. Maybe the joke was on me?

    4. Rasilio

      My first marriage was on Friday the 13th and it was also my Birthday

      Things were looking good for the next 4 years but fell apart pretty damn quick after that

    1. Grumbletarian

      Toni Ede, 19, said the 22-year-old man accused her of hypocrisy, arguing that engaging in the sex act was the same as eating animal products.

      Especially if she swallows.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        Don’t be starting up that old flamewar about when meat actually begins.

    2. SugarFree

      How did this song end up being on point two days in a row?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qosk-UIQIjA

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Or this.

          A solution to the meat eating.

    3. Brett L

      Finally found a man who will say “stop sucking my dick”

      1. “Do you want a blow job?”
        “HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST THAT MURDERER!”

    4. Count Potato

      Teenage internet arguments are now news.

    5. DesigNate

      Totally would though.

    6. R C Dean

      She has to be the . . . fleshiest vegan I’ve ever seen. Makes me wonder how strict she is about it.

  24. Rufus the Monocled

    Jesus. The wreckage of the bus. Just….Jesus.

    1. Tundra

      Yeah, I hadn’t seen that. Unreal that any of them survived.

    2. JW

      I was wondering if they had cut the roof off for rescue operations.

    3. Gordilocks

      A Peterbilt and a set of Super Bs will always leave a mess when disturbed.

      1. Tundra

        So what happened here, Gord? It looks like the semi is in the lower corner of the pic.

        1. Gordilocks

          Don’t know yet. No report from the accident has been released, which makes the preening for more regulation even more stupid.

    4. Chipwooder

      Haven’t seen it, and I’m not about to go looking for it. There is only so much darkness my soul can take.

      1. Badolph Hilter

        Agree. I am not actively seeking out traffic accident pictures until Hillary no longer walks the earth.

  25. Rufus the Monocled

    There’s hope. Looks like Liberal insiders have had enough of Trudeau. Damn, even John Manley is speaking out.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StSwvRcejJE

    I know someone at Canada Post. He tells me that all the senior positions are being handed to every possible victim status/minority worker even if not deserved.

    It’s pure insanity. I’ve fallen into the somewhat shrill ‘Trudeau is destroying Canada’ camp because his policies are destructive.

    Idiot.

  26. gbob

    Due process is sooooo twentieth century.

    Police in McHenry County will be out for blood with drivers who refuse to take breath tests for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

    And the practice of officers immediately seeking blood draws from those who won’t submit to a breath screen appears to be spreading, with Lake County also planning to adopt a similar policy.

    The strategy in many departments takes advantage of technology that allows police to generate an “e-warrant” that can be sent electronically to a judge for review right from a curbside traffic stop.

    1. Tundra

      Under Illinois law, by driving a motor vehicle, motorists are legally considered to give “implied consent” for a breath or blood test. Even a person who is dead or unconscious is deemed to have given consent.

      Nice.

      1. gbob

        From now on, I’m only going to drug girls in my car. I like how even when they’re dead, they’re giving consent.

        1. Give this man a cigar!

        2. Gordilocks

          *Standing Ovation*

      2. WTF

        Yeah, not at all unconstitutional. I mean, it’s totally legit to require that exercising one constitutional right (freedom of movement via Privileges and Immunities) requires that you forfeit another constitutional right (4th amendment).

      3. Brett L

        Every drivers license I ever had said that. The penalty for revoking consent at time of request is losing your license for six months if you don’t win the administrative hearing.

    2. Just shoot them. Then you can get blood at your leisure.

      1. German polezi can use force to get breath or blood for DUI check. Needless to say I never even came close to driving with more than one under my belt whilst in the BRD.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          The system works!

  27. Drake

    Anti-gunners sure are violent. North Carolina Gun Range Goes Up In Flames In Obvious Case Of Arson.

    My club has a retired Sgt. Major who was on the Army shooting team living above the indoor range. One of the last people on earth I would chose to fight.

    1. So, attempted murder too then?

      1. Oh and from what I’ve read, arsonists are one step above child molesters in prison due to the indiscriminate nature of their crimes.

    2. Chipwooder

      pfffft, like the Army can shoot?

      /jarhead

      1. Yes. Yes we can.

        *1000 yard stare*

      2. Drake

        This jarhead agrees – but I saw a few soldiers in the National Guard who were magicians with pistols.

    3. EvilSheldon

      What a bunch of cunts.

      No suspects, of course, but this does have that, “Let’s ruin something that someone else cares about!” progressive feel to it.

  28. Rebel Scum

    To Suggest An ‘Amicable Divorce’ For America Is To Talk Civil War

    Federalist contributor Jesse Kelly recently wrote an article suggesting that political divisions in the United States may now be so extreme that the country should be peacefully divided into two separate countries. He is wrong, and his advocacy that we should divide effects by negotiation flies in the face of the political values that have dominated American political thought for centuries, especially among Republicans and conservatives.

    Never mind that THE principle of the American founding was that of secession.

    It is true we are in a very divided moment, and that when there are divisions that run deep, unitary, centralized decision-making can make those divisions even worse. But that’s not an argument for secession!

    That’s an argument for, wait for it …

    Federalism.

    Large-scale devolution of Federal powers and responsibilities to states, counties, and municipalities to allow distributed and divergent state and local decision-making is a reasonable solution to periods of heightened division. We can’t devolve everything of course, and we need some shared standards on some issues, but we should not try secession before we try enhanced federalism.

    And if federalism fails, then the war will come. And may I say, when the chips are down, secessionists may find that the spark of union has not died. It doesn’t take many of us unionists to reach a critical mass to torpedo peaceful division, and let me tell you, we will torpedo it. There aren’t many things I’m willing to bury myself and two of my best friends over. Union is one of them. Union forever; hurrah boys, hurrah; down with the traitors and up with the star!

    So what you are saying is that you have chosen to inaugurate civil war. Never mind that civil war and war of secession are two different things. The feds were never granted the authority to prevent them from doing so for any reason. That said, I do not dispute supporting federalism, but part of federalism is the right to leave a federal union if it no longer serves you.

    1. I agree that the answer is Federalism; but that’s dead simply by the nature of the Progressive Movement. As a proselytizing religious movement , they simply cannot live and let live and will never allow the Deplorables to conduct their own affairs absent the light of Progressive Truth.

      So I don’t see what’s so wrong about advocating peaceful secession; it’s far, far preferable to violent secession. Setting aside the horror and death of such a war, there is a good chance that what emerges from it is much worse than either side can envision.

      If we’ve truly gone this far down the rabbit hole, we owe it to ourselves and future generations to at least try and resolve this peacefully.

      1. SugarFree

        But given the–let’s call it what it is–collapse of the Free State Project, where would it leave us? The fact that the right authoritarians and the left authoritarians hate each other is one of the few reasons we have any freedoms left.

        Moderate places are already being squeezed out; HyperCanada or Redneckistan is not really much of a choice.

        1. Mustang

          Pretty much this. We get squeezed into tighter spots. There’s not many other places to go, so we either have to find somewhere else to go (space?) or we fight and hold the line on a tiny stretch of land. The open borders crowd won’t much like that.

        2. Given that (awful) choice, I guess I’m going to go with the place that is least likely to confiscate my private property; though it strongly depends on how big of a police state they build to prosecute moral crimes like sodomy.

      2. Slammer

        I’d like to see a State secede and say, “We’re leaving, and we’re taking the US Constitution with us.”

        1. Tundra

          North Dakota is a good candidate. Or Wyoming.

          1. DOOMco

            Nodak wouldn’t be surrounded…

      3. DOOMco

        Split em all, let people move freely for several years, then make it official.

        1. Suthenboy

          Several years is all it would take for the proggies to plunge their territory into 3rd world status.

          1. DOOMco

            I’m thinking 2-4 to let people escape ca or whatever.

    2. Rebel Scum

      Forgot the TJ quote on secession:

      “Whether we remain in one confederacy, or form into Atlantic and Mississippi confederacies, I believe not very important to the happiness of either part. Those of the western confederacy will be as much our children & descendants as those of the eastern, and I feel myself as much identified with that country, in future time, as with this; and did I now foresee a separation at some future day, yet I should feel the duty & the desire to promote the western interests as zealously as the eastern, doing all the good for both portions of our future family which should fall within my power.”

      I think there were other times he commented related to the secessionist movement in new england during his presidency, but I don’t have time to find them right now.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    technology that allows police to generate an “e-warrant” that can be sent electronically to a judge for review right from a curbside traffic stop.

    Yes, of course. The judges are all on standby at closing time, ready to ping back those “warrant applications”.

    1. WTF

      As if we needed any more evidence that judges just rubber stamp warrant applications.

    2. Believe me, in my experience the judge who pulls the late shift is not interested in lengthy consideration of the matter at hand.

    3. Tonio

      Probably magistrates or other junior varsity judges. The smaller the jurisdiction, the bigger the ego.

  30. Tonio

    So, in regards to the mother who dared to feed her daughter peanut butter in a grocery store. It was the other, hysterical mother who was irresponsible. How could she have brought her peanut allergic child to a grocery store that sells multiple peanut products? Many brands of peanut butter are packaged in glass jars, and there is always breakage. Plus, many stores also offer on-site peanut butter grinders and those can be…messy.

    1. slumbrew

      I had a similar thought – if your child is so deathly allergic, the onus is on _you_ to keep them safe, not on everyone else to anticipate every possible threat to ever other human. By that logic, we should exterminate bees, since some people are allergic. Shellfish beds must be destroyed as well. This list goes on…

      1. Michael Bluth

        Our 2 year old son has a peanut allergy and that’s been our approach. It is our job, especially when he doesn’t completely understand, to let him know that he can’t have them. We tell all the babysitters and give them the epipen and show them what to do. But we don’t force everyone whose house we go to to trash all their peanut butter or not enjoy it.

        1. slumbrew

          Sorry you have to deal with your son’s allergy, but thank you for dealing with it like an adult.

    2. Just put your kid in a hermetically sealed bubble and get it over with. Then you never, ever have to let your little darling grow up and rob you of the only meaning in your life.

      1. Evan from Evansville

        Oh, I’m sorry. The answer is Moops.

      2. Mojeaux

        In case this has not been mentioned: John Travolta at his finest.

    3. spqr2008

      But her special snowflake must be catered to, doncha know.

      1. AlexinCT

        I bet it wasn’t even about the snowflake, but about her wanting everyone to know what she has to deal with..

    1. Idle Hands

      dear god he’s a clairvoyant.

    2. I figured that was the whole point of the raid.

  31. Rebel Scum

    Send this to your IFLS commie friends.

    Well, they DO “fucking love science”.

    1. Maybe they “love fucking science” instead. Anally. With no lube. And no consent.

    2. DOOMco

      I like sending them crime stats and questioning their love for science

  32. Pope Jimbo

    The newest tidbit to come out of the Minnesoda vehicle licensing fiasco is this: after begging for emergency funding of $10M, it is revealed that the MNIT department spent $2.5 on reconfiguring cubicles.

    MNIT decided last fall, after the MNLARS problems began to surface, to spend $2.5 million to revamp some of its office space and create more room for employees without incurring additional costs to secure leases on new office locations.

    This article doesn’t mention it, but on the radio, they were saying that the money included new carpet and other stuff.

    1. thom

      Cubicles? What is this, the 90s? If the rest of us proles have to endure open offices they should have to too.

  33. DOOMco

    P Brooks has been Friday the 13th’d

  34. Rufus the Monocled

    Go Bayern. #neverRonaldoReal.

    It’s rare fans of the big leagues/countries will support one another but dammit enough of Real. Good luck playing Real AND the refs.

    Liverpool-Roma is a nice tie (there’s even the Salah angle). Roma will look to avenge the ’84 CL loss!

    Always liked Liverpool. Kenny Daglish was one of the first players I enjoyed watching along with Dominique Rocheteau – that socialist bum.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Dalglish.

  35. Gadfly

    Science proves communism makes nations poorer and less healthy. Send this to your IFLS commie friends.

    Key findings from that article:

    Most of the issues they looked at appeared to have little or no effect on the disparities between the countries, except for Islamic countries scoring a little worse on education.

    Instead, the single strongest predictor for a country’s health, and the second-strongest for its wealth, turned out to be whether its rulers had embraced communism.

    So an Islamic Communist country would be the worst society to live in. Future Europe is going to be a shithole.

    1. Number.6

      Except for the rulers, of course.

      1. AlexinCT

        They are the only ones that count…

    2. slumbrew

      how can a communist country have poor health? They have universal healthcare!

    3. Suthenboy

      It is a shithole now.

  36. Rebel Scum

    More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life. Which is why I drink at least two.

    Ditto. And there are plenty of studies showing the opposite, that a little indulgence can be healthy. So who knows.

    1. Sean

      Well, a couple drinks enhances the quality of my life, so I’m sticking with it.
      I’m not concerned about studies.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    It has been a while since I checked in on Timmy Egan– he has been doing his taxes, and he’s not happy. He just now discovered that the government spends his money on a bunch of stuff he wouldn’t spend it on himself.

    Also, given that I’m not happy you’re spending my money on things like protection of Scott Pruitt’s afternoon nap, I like to think that self-filing gives me the right to complain more than usual.

    I see you’re still punishing me for working — taxing wages and business income at a much higher rate than the money I make doing nothing, like holding stocks. Plus, you’re still taxing Warren Buffett at a lower rate than his secretary, despite his plea for fairness.

    And please, no lectures about underpaying my quarterlies. You are a world-class deadbeat. You’re running an $800 billion deficit this fiscal year, and that will swell to more than $1 trillion in coming years, thanks to the Republican tax cut. By 2023, it will cost more to pay the interest on your debt than all but a handful of government functions.

    So I guess you’re modeling yourself after President Trump, who has called himself “the king of debt.” Also, he’s expert at con games, stiffing contractors, and running casinos into the ground. As he’s shown, those skills are certainly transferable.

    And, of course, the Warren Buffett Fairness Tax gets a mention; at least he manages to get the word “rate” in there, but I’m willing to bet the check Kindly Old Grandpa Buffett writes has a lot more digits than the secretary’s.

    I had no idea the government was running balanced budgets prior to Trump’s arrival in Washington.

    1. Chipwooder

      “….thanks to the Republican tax cut”

      Good point – spending obviously plays absolutely no role in deficits.

      Also, doesn’t he read Vox??? The interest doesn’t matter because we can just print a shitload of new currency and inflate everything to the stratosphere.

    2. Brett L

      I have to admit that I am the guy who makes more than the average couple but paid a ridiculously low rate of tax, also. Married, filing jointly. Wife went to school full time for a semester and earned nothing, kids went to daycare, bought a house. This year should be even better since wife will be in school the whole year, and I’ll pay on the house all year. SLD, there shouldn’t be income taxes or tax breaks.

      1. All that means is you’re just a 1%er shitlord and should be taxed at a minimum rate of 75%. Don’t you even care about poor, starving, inner city children you monster!

      2. TK

        And the government won’t even let me deduct my student loan interest anymore since I make over $80k/year. All while they complain that “young people aren’t buying houses!!”

        The tax system is set up to fuck over young, single people. Sure I get to use the roads, but pretty much all of the other “generous” government services are not exactly targeted towards my demographic. I guess I got the federal guarantee of my loans – but that’s part of the reason why I college was so expensive in the first place.

        1. Badolph Hilter

          Oh, its get’s worse my friend. AMT, TK. TK, AMT.

          1. Badolph Hilter

            *apostrophe shame*

          2. TK

            AMT sounds like a nightmare, but I don’t even get any deductions other than the standard one.

        2. trshmnstr

          My income doubled and my tax rate halved after marrying, having a kid and taking out massive student and mortgage debt. As the debt gets paid off, significant portions of money (in the 5 figures) will be added to our tax bill. So much for doing the right thing!

          1. TK

            Ouch, that sounds painful. I really despise using tax policy in social engineering schemes.

        3. AlexinCT

          It’s the ultimate form of wealth redistribution…

    3. Gilmore

      As the Federalist noted the other day… the Media’s obsession w/ Pruitt is a sign Pruitt is actually being effective at his task of defanging the EPA

  38. Idle Hands

    Caps last night. I don’t even know why I even bother to watch.

    1. Tundra

      I understand.

      /Wild fan

    2. Raven Nation

      There was hockey last night?

      /Rangers fan

      1. Chipwooder

        Vigneault has blessedly been fired, though, so this disaster of a season was not in vain.

  39. The question is whether the Coastal NIMBYs who hold all the political power will vote for such a proposal. My guess is no.

    https://www.westernjournal.com/breaking-referendum-to-split-calif-into-3-states-will-be-on-ballot/

    1. Grumbletarian

      They’d almost assuredly get four more Team Blue senators out of the deal.

      1. Point taken, though I’m not sure the “Southern California” they’ve drawn on the map would automatically go Blue. I wonder what it would do to House representation?

    2. spqr2008

      Why would they want tax slaves from the far redneck places of California to have any say in governing themselves. They might choose to do things that the Coastal NIMBYs would disapprove of.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    . No report from the accident has been released, which makes the preening for more regulation even more stupid.

    I “know a guy who knows people” as ridiculous as that sounds, who said he was told the truck had just come up an on ramp and the bus slammed into it from behind.

    1. tarran

      Clearly a more experienced and trained driver would have gotten it to accelerate faster.

    2. Tundra

      Nope.

      Honestly, it looks like the truck may have missed the stop sign.

      1. kinnath

        Add up the vectors, and you see the center of mass moved northwest. The truck had to be moving at a pretty high velocity to get both vehicles to end up where they were.

      2. Brett L

        It continues to say that the bus “collided” with the truck. From looking at the bus, it does look like the bus went head on into the side of the truck. Its hard for me to tell whether the truck didn’t stop or had started into the intersection because he couldn’t see the bus. A bus going 65 mph — the posted limit can come up fast, and if that truck was going slowly, there’s just not much either party can do at that point.

        1. kinnath

          If the bus had been going “fast” and the truck going “slow”, the wreckage would be scattered mostly in the direction the bus was traveling. Given the wreckage pattern, the truck and the bus were moving at similar velocities.

          It does look like the bus drove into the side of the truck. This would account for the front of the bus being sheared off and the final resting spots of the two vehicles.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    What do they have to say, over at the NYT peanut gallery, about Egan’s rapierlike wit and insight?

    Mary Ellen McNerney
    Princeton, NJ1h ago

    Once more, Mr. Egan is on point. Sadly, I anticipate that my taxes will go up next year, as my income is entirely from salary, and the SALT deduction is eliminated. I do not relish giving more to the 1%-ers, nor to the wasteful government of this administration.

    If you don’t want to “give” to the 1%, your first order of business would be to cancel your Amazon account, and boycott facebook, and toss your iphone in the nearest trash can.

    1. Then start electing people that will lower your state and local taxes to something more reasonable.

    2. Suthenboy

      “…wasteful government of this administration.”

      As opposed to the frugal, fiscally responsible administrations of the past.

    3. Chipwooder

      “Sadly”? Since when are lefties sad about paying more taxes??

      1. spqr2008

        When it’s their ox being gored. That’s the reason tax hikes exist. To make sure that deplorables, business owners, and the few in the 1% that contribute to GOP campaigns pay more taxes.

    4. $1000 says if you ask Mary Ellen whether the ACA was a good or bad thing she’s all for it. She doesn’t have a problem with high taxes, she has a problem with high taxes on herself.

    1. tarran

      Wait…. so the “Right to Contract” requires people to do business with people with whom they don’t want to do business?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Not only that, but the DACA EO negate existing federal law that prohibits employers from hiring illegal aliens and requires them to collect and maintain I9 forms?

        1. tarran

          It doesn’t… basically, she’s saying you either break federal law or commit contempt of court.

          It’s yet another example of how the U.S. government is deteriorating as a viable intistitution.

          1. “It’s yet another example of how the U.S. government is deteriorating as a viable intistitution.”

            Things that can’t go on forever, won’t. What I’m scared of is what comes after.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          I feel like I’m taking crazy pills

    2. mikey

      Wait a minute I thought we were cracking down on employers who hiring illegal aliens. I just can’t keep up.

  42. RAHeinlein

    FOR OMWC: Rick Astley news from The Times of London –

    5 DOWN Rick Astley
    Headline of the week goes to the NME, which relayed the following confusion from clean-cut ironic 1980s icon Rick Astley — he of “Rickrolling” fame. “Rick Astley says he has ‘no idea’ why Dave Grohl invited him onstage to perform with Foo Fighters.”

    Here at Celebrity Watch, we believe we know exactly why: because — LOL.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s awesome

    2. spqr2008

      Wow, I would probably have been trampled at that concert, from ROTGLOL.

  43. Rebel Scum

    RNC Releases Brutal Video Of Democrats Attacking Comey’s Credibility

    Team Red less stupid than originally thought. I mean, there are probably hours stuff like this that they could make ads on for this and other issues. Team Blue anti-gun rhetoric comes to mind.

    1. George “Blind Squirrel” Stepha-unpronounceable finds a nut:

      “He may have destroyed the credibility of the FBI permanently”

      Perhaps a bit hyperbolic: J. Edgar, Ruby Ridge and Waco certainly did a bang up job, but Comey might have driven the final nail into the coffin.

      1. Rebel Scum

        Well, yea. But this is directed at Comey’s credibility as opposed to the FBI as a whole. I suspect it is intended to pre-empt his new book that is coming out soon.

    2. Sean

      I approve of this message.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Nope.

    Honestly, it looks like the truck may have missed the stop sign.

    Ah. The truck pulled out in front of them, I guess. The story I heard was “unclear”. Although, looking at that mess (fucking hell), I can’t help thinking the bus might have been going faster than 60mph (100kph). And that truck had to have had a fairly good head of steam to get across the road to where it ended up. Like, as you suggested, it ran the stop sign.

    1. Suthenboy

      Most people appear to be in a hell of a rush to get to their own funeral. Really pisses me off. What the fuck is so important that they have to push push push and go so goddamned fast? I think they dont understand the reality of what they are doing. They dont believe it will happen to them. If you are traveling faster than 15mph or so you are traveling at high enough speed to die in a wreck. Back the fuck off, slow down, pay attention. Put the goddamned phone and eyeliner down.
      In 40 years I have only been in accidents when someone else was driving. I refuse to ride with other drivers anymore. We are taking my car. I am driving.

      1. Count Potato

        People often made fun of me for driving so slow. Although I do tend to drive slower when I have someone else in the car.

      2. trshmnstr

        Yep, I am very cautious on the road. Defensive driving is a valuable skill. There have been many situations where I would’ve been in a wreck if I didn’t drive so cautiously. Never been in a crash as a driver, but plenty have honked at me for not being ridiculously aggressive.

    2. Gordilocks

      I’m withholding comment on the cause of the crash until the report comes out, but the fact that the RCMP have released the truck driver without charge leads me to believe it wasn’t his fault; if the cops thought for a second he might have done anything wrong, they would have charged him immediately.

      1. Tundra

        Bd deal, either way. That guy is never gonna be normal again.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Wait…. so the “Right to Contract” requires people to do business with people with whom they don’t want to do business?

    “Nice little business you got here….”

  46. commodious spittoon

    On Andre the Giant. Or “the Giant Fairy” if you prefer.

    But André’s character was his body. All he had to do was show up. Even routine interactions became strange in his presence. One dining companion interviewed in the documentary recalls that once when he tried to pick up the check at dinner, the Giant, not having it, instead picked him up like a doll and set him on top of an armoire. The speaker relating this anecdote is Arnold Schwarzenegger.

    1. Suthenboy

      Yeah, that guy was something else. From everything I have heard he was the nicest guy you could meet. I feel sorry for him, in his later years he suffered greatly from his gigantism.

      1. He could drink 100 beers in one sitting and not only not die, but stay conscious. That deserves a Nobel Prize if I’ve seen one.

        1. Tundra

          He once played Bigfoot on a 1976 episode of The Six Million Dollar Man.

          And an Emmy.

        2. Chipwooder

          But so can Wade Boggs

          1. Private Chipperbot
    2. Count Potato

      Wiki says he was billed as 7′ 4″ and 520lbs.

      1. Chipwooder

        Wrestlers always exaggerate their size. Huge man, but more like 7′ than 7’4″

        1. Suthenboy

          Standard door is 7 feet. I remember seeing him ducking to get through them. Also, those afflicted with gigantism often continue growing throughout their life so it could be both.

  47. Considering these folks didn’t have much a brain to break in the first place it probably didn’t take that much.

    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/the-2016-election-broke-some-people-in-media

    1. commodious spittoon

      Some people in media were broken to begin with, but years of glad-handing Obama allowed them to hide it.

  48. PieInTheSKy

    Google loses landmark ‘right to be forgotten’ case
    Businessman wins legal action to force removal of search results about past conviction

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2018/apr/13/google-loses-right-to-be-forgotten-case

    so most important negative rights mean shit in the UK but somehow the “right” to be forgotten wins …

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Right to defend yourself is also right out the window.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    “Sadly”? Since when are lefties sad about paying more taxes??

    When it is they, personally, writing the check, and not some fabulously (and undeservedly so) wealthy faceless evildoer.

    1. commodious spittoon

      We’ll expropriate all of the Kochs’ wealth, which will fund the federal government for about thirteen milliseconds, and then everything will be golden.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    I’m withholding comment on the cause of the crash until the report comes out, but the fact that the RCMP have released the truck driver without charge leads me to believe it wasn’t his fault; if the cops thought for a second he might have done anything wrong, they would have charged him immediately.

    An excellent position to take.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    SNBC’s Joy Reid, for example, spent part of her show this weekend speculating about what might happen should the president refuse to allow himself to be arrested by federal marshals. This is a real thing that was discussed on a real show by real political analysts.

    Hang on…

    I see a contradiction, here.

    1. Missing lots of scare quotes in the last sentence.

    2. Badolph Hilter

      …and also by Joy Reid?

    3. Gadfly

      Who does she think federal marshals work for? Until and unless the president is impeached, all federal law enforcement works for him. He could fire anyone trying to arrest him. The sitting president cannot be arrested – he must be turned into a private citizen first.

    4. Raven Nation

      If I were Joy Reid and this actually happened, I’d be a lot more concerned about how many deplorables massed outside the White House to stop Trump being taken away. And, that would be really scary.

  52. PieInTheSKy

    trully a dilema

    Why is the far right so against US intervention in Syria?

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/apr/13/syria-intervention-conservative-rightwing-opposition-trump

    \

    But 15 years later, as the US edges towards a greater involvement in Syria, there is as yet no progressive, mass anti-war movement. For now, the most prominent opponents of Middle East intervention are all on the right, while leading Democrats are entirely on board with military intervention in the Middle East. – a less charitable man than myself may suggest that the left is devoid of principles and just a bunch of power hungry hypocrites. Not I off course.

    I like how they say alt right in the title and then in the article they use right wing, conservative and white supremacist examples as if they are all the same thing.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Jason Wilson is an Australian-born writer living in Portland, Oregon.

      I think I see the problem

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      The intimation that military intervention in Syria is being opposed because of anti-Semitism is a real humdinger.

      1. spqr2008

        I could easily make the argument that the civil war in Syria destabilized the region, making it more dangerous for Israel, and that, therefore, intervening in Syria would make it more dangerous for Israel. Following that very weak logic, I can say that any pro-interventionists are Anti-Semites.

      2. Suthenboy

        I dont even know what that means.

        1. spqr2008

          That’s because it’s a piss poor argument. My (again, very weak) argument is that the Civil War in Syria allows countries like Iran, who hate and want to destroy Israel, to amass unconventional forces nearer to Israel, and to fund and operate terror groups more easily, that can act against Israeli interests. And since Israel is a Jewish state, opposing them is sometimes conflated with Antisemitism (which is another very weak argument).

    3. commodious spittoon

      Fun fact: “apophasis” is the term for saying something by supposedly declining to say it.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I take back everything I’ve said about the guy’s intelligence, he’s a keen wit.

        United States President Donald Trump frequently employs apophasis.[13] In 2015, Trump said of fellow Republican presidential candidate and former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, “I promised I would not say that she ran Hewlett-Packard into the ground, that she laid off tens of thousands of people and she got viciously fired. I said I will not say it, so I will not say it.”[13] In 2016, he tweeted of journalist Megyn Kelly, “I refuse to call [her] a bimbo, because that would not be politically correct.”[13] In 2017, as president, he tweeted of the leader of North Korea, “Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me ‘old,’ when I would NEVER call him ‘short and fat?’”[14]

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Carlson have found ways to make alt right adjacent ideology “palatable to advertisers”

      Thank you for verifying that the label alt-right is simply a method to tar anyone to the right of Keith Ellison.

    5. Suthenboy

      One of the reasons Hillary lost is that she was foaming at the mouth to go to war with Russia.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not wanting to go to war with Russia is a sure indicator that you’re alt-right, and therefore an anti-Semite and a racist in general.

        /prog

    6. Drake

      As an American taxpayer who would be paying the bill for this war, and maybe sending a son off to fight – what exactly is the expected benefit of a war in Syria – and maybe with Russia? Somebody please explain.

  53. CPRM

    That Friday The 13th poster made me think of Edgar Wright’s Grindhouse Trailer for Don’t.

  54. Warty

    Yesterday I got a letter from my incompetent and evil old employer. They informed me that, as a shareholder, I’m entitled to a K-1 form, but they’re not going to get that out before May, so I should just go ahead and file my taxes late, thanks very much. So. How nice to only occasionally be bothered by their incompetence, instead of every day. And I haven’t watched a grown man throw a tantrum since I left that hellhole, too. Life is beautiful.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      My old employer was nice enough to send out the KY form before tax time.

      1. spqr2008

        Scruffy, I know taxes are like rape, but they really sent you KY? I’m sorry.

        1. R C Dean

          *Makes note to send a tube of KY with my next tax return, and a note requesting that they use it next year when they come around to assrape my checking account*

    2. Suthenboy

      Glad to hear that. I know you were miserable. Life is short, make the best of it.

      1. Warty

        Oh yeah. Life is much improved.

    3. leonadasiv

      At least he aknowledged your right to a K-1. My former employer disputes that I own part if the company, despite having a fucking operating agreement with his signature on it that says I do.

  55. PieInTheSKy

    How much is an hour worth? The war over the minimum wage
    Some economists say it should be raised. Others say it’s already too high. But what if both sides are missing the point? By Peter C Baker

    https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/apr/13/how-much-is-an-hour-worth-the-war-over-the-minimum-wage

    rather long and says to little in to many words so I kinda lost my interest after a few paragraphs but maybe someone else wants to read and make a summary

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Get somebody else to enact your labor.

    2. spqr2008

      Depends entirely upon the worker.

    3. SugarFree

      tl;dr “Science, schmience; increasing the minimum wage is emotionally fair, so do it.”

      1. PieInTheSKy

        I like how they compared it to debate over slavery

        1. SugarFree

          Slavery is the Godwin’s Law of every American policy debate.

        2. tarran

          No mention of how the minimum wage was intended to keep negro, female or catholic ‘wage parasites’ from undercutting white protestant men’s wages?

    4. Brett L

      You’re not missing anything. The thesis is that to reduce the discussion about minimum wage to whether it is economically beneficial to those it affects is to take away the moral power of the act. You know, the Progressive thesis of damn the men, we’re doing right.

      But beneath all this conflict, there is a single, widely shared assumption: that the only important measure of the success of a minimum wage is whether economic studies show that it has increased the total earnings of low-wage workers – without this increase being outweighed by a cost in jobs or hours.

      Umm… Yes?

      For one thing, they suggested, it was likely that monopsony conditions were much more common in the low-wage labour market than had been previously assumed – allowing employers, rather than “the market”, to dictate wages

      Correct me if I’m wrong here, but employers are half of the labor market


      Economies and jobs are, to some extent, what we decide to make them. In developed economies like the US and the UK, it is common to lament the disappearance of “good jobs” in manufacturing and their replacement by “bad” low-wage work in service industries. But much of what was “good” about those manufacturing jobs was made that way over time by concessions won and regulations demanded by labour activists.

      Right. Those “good” jobs didn’t move somewhere cheaper. Kentucky, Mexico

      1. R C Dean

        there is a single, widely shared assumption: that the only important measure of the success of a minimum wage is whether economic studies show that it has increased the total earnings of low-wage workers – without this increase being outweighed by a cost in jobs or hours.

        Eh, that’s too narrow. Even if we jump right over the violation of rights involved in mandating a minimum wage, a utilitarian analysis should look at how it affects the economy as a whole, no?

        For example, its not just low-wage jobs that are affected by a minimum wage. There is a knock-on effect into the next tier of jobs – those wages go up, too, and as the cost of that input goes up, the demand for that input goes down.

        1. Private Chipperbot

          /union demands raise after min wage hike that they campaigned for.

    5. Gadfly

      How much is an hour worth?

      “Everything is worth what its purchaser will pay for it.” -Some dead guy

  56. PieInTheSKy

    so my instincts told me Pie, you are a man. You will not enjoy a beer called Heartbreaker a hibiscus jalapeno and lime ipa. But as I like to try new stuff I bought one. Worse then expected Gah, Awful

    Avoid

    https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/hop-hooligans-heartbreaker/589207/

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Peppers don’t mix with beer, are you nuts?

    2. mindyourbusiness

      I’ll follow your recommendation, Pie. Yeccch!

    3. Emmerson Biggins

      I liked the Twisted X Jalapeno beer. Everybody else I know who tried pretty much hated it. But I liked it.

  57. KSuellington

    Ha, ha! You have to love it. Comey now days it was “possible” that Trump was involved in the infamous Russian piss hooker situation.

    I guess you could say it was possible that Comey sometimes fellates barn animals. No one has proven that it’s not the case.

  58. The Late P Brooks

    There seems to be a shortage of oxygen in that bubble

    President Donald Trump is dangerous. The main things mitigating the danger are his incompetence and cowardice. We live in a time that teaches how outrage can turn to a shrug, how the unthinkable repeated over and over can induce moral numbness, how a madman’s manic certainties can overwhelm reason. He is very busy; people resist; he opens another front; people shake their heads. It’s hard to remember on Friday what happened on Monday. Trump’s is the unbearable lightness of the charlatan.

    Disorientation spreads. Trump’s main war, beyond all the military bluster, is on truth. This reflects his instinct for the jugular: Once the distinction between truth and falsehood disappears, anything is possible. There are plenty of examples these days, from Moscow to Budapest, of how “democracies” can be manipulated to the point where they can yield only one result. This is Trump’s objective, and for it he needs a weakened Justice Department, a weakened press and an American public that will believe anything. He has had setbacks but is stubborn.

    Blah blah blah Hitler Hitler Hitler crazy crazy crazy.

    Pack your bags and wait by the door, Cohen. Your ride to the train station will be along shortly.

    1. Suthenboy

      All of these TDS rants sound the same to me. Lots of innuendo and accusations but short on details or examples. It really is insane.

    2. Badolph Hilter

      Call to Insanity

    3. R C Dean

      We live in a time that teaches how outrage can turn to a shrug,

      Indeed we do. Previously outrageous acts, like raiding the office of the attorney for someone under federal investigation, or threatening a newspaper for not running articles critical of a politician, are now met with a shrug.

  59. Just Say’n

    https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/tucker-carlson-makes-me-sad

    Tucker Carlson doesn’t want a war in Syria and that gives conservatives the sadz. “How could you Tucker? We’re going to kill so many Arabs and you don’t want to do that? Racist.”

    (Defending Tucker Carlson is making me feel weird. I need to sit down)

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      You are weird, Have a Seat

    2. Suthenboy

      Carlson isnt that bad. I have to respect a guy who takes his daughter for a weekend shooting clays. (He passes my 2nd A test)

      1. Just Say’n

        I liked him when he was a Ron Paul guy briefly in 2008.

        The man has gone through every ideology on the Right: he was an establishment Republican guy; a neoconservative guy; an anti-war libertarian guy, and now he’s a paleoconservative.

        1. Suthenboy

          His shtick of beating up on soft targets can be amusing. It is good that someone is holding up the SJW and Proggie idiots for all to see. Wife turns his show on a couple of times a week.

          1. commodious spittoon

            Has he gotten in the ring with that camera-whoring twerp from Parkland? I’d pay cash money to see that bout.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    But beneath all this conflict, there is a single, widely shared assumption: that the only important measure of the success of a minimum wage is whether economic studies show that it has increased the total earnings of low-wage workers – without this increase being outweighed by a cost in jobs or hours.

    Don’t you see? Those people would be better off in breadlines and homeless shelters than working menial jobs at pittance wages.

  61. Count Potato

    Q’s new website?

    https://boobyhunters.org/

    1. Badolph Hilter

      A .org no less.

      Looks like they’re just camping on the URL, but at least they’re doing it in style. Extra points for “powered by your mom”.

  62. commodious spittoon

    The D.C. area saw ~44,000 jobs added to its rolls in 2017. That’s down from 60,000 a month in 2016.

    It gets better — the article also reported the Bureau of Labor Statistics had to issue a correction for its 2016 data. The greater Washington region added 5,600 fewer jobs than originally thought.

    The swamp is draining. Really.

    Meanwhile, the U.S. economy added 313,000 jobs in February, its biggest gain in more than 1.5 years. Unemployment is the lowest in almost two decades, and wages are up, thanks to a steady Trump-driven diet of tax cuts and deregulation.

    The State Department and the Environmental Protection Agency took the hardest hits, collectively eliminating 6,600 jobs over the past year.

  63. The Late P Brooks

    As an American taxpayer who would be paying the bill for this war, and maybe sending a son off to fight – what exactly is the expected benefit of a war in Syria – and maybe with Russia? Somebody please explain.

    Focus on the important things, for crying out loud. Like Scott Pruitt’s security detail, or Ben Carson’s wallpaper. What are you, some kind of alt-right Nazi peacenik?

  64. Broswater

    More science: Just one drink a day could shorten your life.

    People lie as hell when they are asked how much they drink, so I always take those ”averages” with a lots of grains of salt.

    The article also links to a Booze Calculator but I think it’s broken because it says ”value must be less than or equal to 99”.

    1. Broswater

      Oh great, just realised I commented in the morning links thinking it was the PM links…. yea maybe I should cut back a little.