Slab City – Pt.1

A Glib place to be

Some Background

The Salton Sea was created in 1905 when engineers attempted to divert the Colorado River inland to irrigate the Imperial Valley. The flood engulfed the lower than sea level plain and created the Salton Sea over a period of two years. When the diversion was capped, it was thought that the lake would soon dry up, but nature and man said no…

The 50’s and 60’s brought the cream of Hollywood. This was, after all, the Riviera of the West Coast.

Fishing, boating and seaside leisure weren’t the realm of the rich, and everyone enjoyed life on the the great inland sea.

OK, TMI: the Salton Sea is dead, and so are all the surrounding towns, whether they know it or not. So on to Slab City…

From Wikipedia: “Camp Dunlap was a U.S. Marine Corps base activated on October 15, 1942, as a training facility during World War II. The camp was named for Brigadier General Robert H. Dunlap. It was used to train artillery and anti-aircraft units of the Fleet Marine Force. The base was located at the present-day location of Slab City (also known as The Slabs) in Imperial County, California. In October 1961, the United States Department of Defense conveyed the land on which Camp Dunlap was situated back to the State of California.” Let’s visit…

Salvation Mountain

I guess it’s a Christian thing, but a very colorful pile of dirt greets you at the entrance to The Slabs. And sadly, it’s become very touristy–a small scale Disneyland. So much so that they closed the yellow brick road to the top, which is still very cool.

East Jesus

From what I’m told by the overlords, this area is owned by an affiliate of the Burning Man group. It was originally created by Charles Russell as an art studio and creative space for artists to, well, create. According the docent I spoke to (a crazy old hipster dude), there are three rules of East Jesus:

  • Don’t stay on the carpet
  • Touch everything
  • If you break it, blame it on the artist for using shoddy materials or because he didn’t properly realize his vision

The entire facility is a magical dream of a dystopian future: beautiful and haunting. I long to be there, even as I write this.

The Range

The Range is the outdoor theatre built by Builder Bill, and on the weekends  it hosts many local and outside musical thing., I was told open mic ran from noon til ??? So when we drove by and saw people jamming we dropped in. I met Bill and introduced myself as Bob the Builder, and are we related? It was a good ice breaker, but Bill said Sunset til ??? Bummer because we brought our guitars, etc. While we had a good chat about the state of the Slabs with Bill, we offered food and drink and smoke, which made us many friends. Chuck chatted up Bob and Jinxie, who are a few of the more talented of the group, but everyone had something to offer. We have been offered a slot in two weeks to come and play, local friends!

The Coliseum

This place is a big reason I decided to come. The level of artwork in The Colosseum is astounding. Of course, someone has ruined part of it, but the portraits on the large tower are so big and so high, no graffiti artist can wreck them. And the Graffiti is astounding, as well. I guess if you’re gonna wreck something, do it right.

Impressions

When you first arrive, it seems like a video game, truly a vast wasteland of scrap metal and debris/trash. But then you notice an order to things, very twisted–yet it has a flow and an odd rhythm to it. I felt at peace, and didn’t carry any weapons. I felt no need. Every person I spoke to was quite adamant about the lack of violence and crime. They take care of their own, they tell me. OTOH, everyone I met seemed a bit… off. I took no pics of locals, and didn’t intrude on anyone, no video interviews, etc. It seems tacky to me to treat these people in their homes as zoo animals.

FUCK Snowbirds!

Whilst enjoying the peace of East Jesus a pack of six or so giant dune buggy things came up, spewing noise and tourists all over, ruining the experience for us. SAD!

Conclusion

We are going back in two weeks to overnight and play some songs. Here’s a link to the entire album, which has many more pics.

More info is out there, but I went for myself and for you guys. Glib reportage, as it were. It is a very free place, and you could feel the vibe everywhere. I’m going back, and spend more time there, I must.

Until part 2!

Comments

273 responses to “Slab City – Pt.1”

  1. Brett L

    I’m ready for some Fallout:New Vegas LARPing now!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m going back Saturday intending to get some of the Debris fields and the not so good side of SC

  2. Chipwooder

    Place is weird, very weird. We drove by there on the way to the Chocolate Mountains bombing range for a week of range patrol duty. Stopped in Niland to buy some groceries and it was like a scene from Breakdown, the old Kurt Russell movie.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m told you can here it from the slabs, Artillery fire etc.

      1. Chipwooder

        I’m sure you can. It’s probably less than 10 miles to the perimeter of the range from Slab City, and in empty desert the sound carries a long way. We used to patrol at night for two things – scrappers looking for metal and migrants moving north after crossing the border, both of whom risk getting blown the hell up by UXO. It was dull duty, but the view from the top of a mountain at night is astonishing. Most star-filled sky I’ll ever see.

      2. Lachowsky

        I live 20 miles from ft. Chaffee with a lot of terrain between me and it. I can hear the artillery clear as day when they get to shooting.

        1. Fodder

          I worked with a crazy old engineer who grew up in Niland. Went deer hunting with him a couple times in the area east of the Chocolate Mountain range. He took us on range a few times since he swore the hunting was better inside.

  3. Can you confirm or dispell the report that most of the inhabitants are on some form of government assistance?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      About half of the Full time residents are on the Dole, so say 50 People? there is a small amount of Cash Commerce there as well.
      the rest are Schemers, Zombies Drifters, RV Vagabonds. I’m going into that in pt2

  4. Spudalicious

    My mother spent two winters at a trailer park by the Salton Sea after my dad passed. Lots of drunk Canadian snowbirds. You could hear the bombing runs in he Chocolate Mountains. It is a true pit. Good Mexican food in El Centro about half an hour south, though.

  5. Gilmore

    GTA V makes so much more sense now.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Heh. I was thinking that about Jesus Mountain.

    2. EvilSheldon

      Indeed.

  6. commodious spittoon

    You must have a lot more patience for hippy dippy bullshit than I do, because I see this and think bulldoze the whole park and turn it into a combination Walmart/indoor golf course.

    1. If you do that you’ll just drive the hippies closer to civilization. Let them grub about in the desert where they can’t inflict their eyesores on the rest of us.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Agreed, it’s a very good place for a lot of these people, Far away from Civilization,

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I present myself as a Musician, and I get away with the Bowling Shirt thing, but no, I can’t stand Hippies. I tolerate it for the Bizarre atmosphere
      FunFact! No one Smelled, or otherwise reeked, and about half were actually clean

      1. commodious spittoon

        God damnit, I thought the whole point was to eschew conventional norms like hygiene. And to day-drink. Hippies ruin everything!

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Saturday I’m bring a 36 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon, that way I can’t get drunk no matter when I start,
          Maybe by Midnight I’ll piss myself and blend in….

        2. Gilmore

          “” I thought the whole point was to eschew conventional norms like hygiene. And to day-drink””

          That’s what beaches are for.

          1. DiegoF

            Hygiene is not optional for the beach! Nor for festivals! Pregame hygiene is more important there than anywhere else, especially for women! Please pass it on everyone; it’s an important public service.

    3. I guess it’s the East Coast in me but I see that and I’m glad that there are other people to go take pictures of it and tell me about it.

    4. Drake

      I was thinking how tempting it would be to call in arty and airstrikes on the whole thing back in my FO / FAC days.

  7. PieInTheSKy

    I propose building a canal from the actual ocean there to make sure there is plenty water. You can get some local kulaks to dig.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      It’s been proposed, 40 Billion Dollars, not gonna happen…..

      1. PieInTheSKy

        So cheaper than high speed rail?

        1. Gilmore

          (polite applause)

          In California, “$40bn hole-in-ground for no apparent purpose” is like a political platform

  8. TK

    Is that you in any of the pictures? I can’t really see your profile pic so I’m not sure. Interesting stuff, btw. I spent a lot of time with the burner crowd when I was in college. Best, most professional parties I’ve ever been to. Wonderful people – also a bit odd.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I’m the skinny Blonde guy in Black

      1. But, where’s the Kia?!?

        1. Tundra

          Lol. In the album pics.

          1. First we’re expected to follow links in Lynx, now we’re expected to follow links in regular articles?

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Being towed to the repair shop as we speak,
          https://photos.app.goo.gl/yyU880pqHzPvKojz2
          Looking toward the Chocolate Mts and the Slabs

          1. How badly hurt was it?

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            4K in damage, but not bent too badly they cant fix it, We are trying to get the SB Sheriffs to cough up the 500$ deductible, and Infinity is going after them as well.

      2. PieInTheSKy

        You look younger in your profile pic. Also taller. You should squat more. Also dye your hair black.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I lift enough , my current profile pic is from 15 yrs back. But, Why do i need to look like a Romanian? I’m an OG ginger

          1. DiegoF

            Careful now! Pie is going to read this and be all, “What you mean? You sayin’ Romanians look like gypsies? Where you live, motherfucker?” They’re rather absurdly sensitive about that for some reason.

          2. I thought Romanians looked like vampires.

      3. Drake

        Did Charlie Sheen’s hair go white?

  9. Very cool. I think you’ve found your retirement place.

  10. Tundra

    Great piece, Yusef!

    And I really dig the shirt.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      I were nothing but Dickies

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Thanks Tundra, and you clicked the link!

  11. mexican sharpshooter

    That place is BEGGING for a paintball war.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      With Quads!

      1. DiegoF

        As an old-school ally activist, I am thinking of inviting my buddies from the NYC Gay Men of Color Dirt Bike Hobbyist Group over there for just such an activity! Do you think they’ll let them bring their pit bulls?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          there are NO Rules! bring what ever, and do what ever you want

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Brilliant!

          *thunderous applause*

  12. DiegoF

    This Brooklyn boy normally likes his camping excursions to be strictly of the “music and hot scantily clad people” variety, which is why I quickly realized I would not, indeed, like PorcFest after I saw some pics of the population. But I will definitely take a trip to Slab City someday! Probably more interesting and educational from a libertarian perspective anyway.

    1. Brooklyn?

      Poor soul.

      1. Chipwooder

        Once upon a time Brooklyn was a nice blue-collar city filled with normal people. I’m sure my Brooklynite grandparents would vomit if they saw what their city became.

        1. Gilmore

          “”blue-collar city“”

          1. Chipwooder

            Because no rich people have ever lived in an area generally known as blue collar

          2. DiegoF

            It’s not an area though; it’s a whole county that is bigger than all but a small number in the entire country. It’s traditionally economically diverse.

          3. Gilmore

            “Generally known”

            my general point about this general topic that people generally don’t know anything.

            “I visited london for 2 days. it was smelly, loud, the cabs were expensive, and the fish+chips were uninspiring. Would not England again” (downvote on Yelp)”

          4. kinnath

            “I visited london for 2 days. it was smelly, loud, the cabs were expensive, and the fish+chips were uninspiring. Would not England again”

            Sounds about right.

        2. DiegoF

          What? Brooklyn is not some sort of industrial burg turned hellish dystopia! I feel like you’re talking about damn near every urban area in the Northeast except NYC!

          1. Chipwooder

            I thought the apology was because of the hipsters.

      2. Gilmore

        Stop

          1. DiegoF

            That is Oakland motherfucker.

          2. Clearly I am not a font of popular culture information. Random minutiae about unexpectedly unconnected things, yes, American culture that everyone else understands, not a jot.

          3. Gilmore

            This is you:

            “Where were you born? Oh, i have never spent more than 5mins there, but let me tell you and the rest of the world how it is a shithole”

            and then acts like this is witty and interesting.

            stop that.

          4. I will not give up my upstate/downstate mutual disdain because you took it for something else.

          5. Gilmore

            “mutual disdain”

            ?

            i missed the part where i pissed in your cornflakes

          6. I missed the part where you were a downstater.

            Sorry about that, I’ll be more observant in the future.

          7. Gilmore

            “a downstater”

            I don’t give a fuck if you don’t like Yonkers because you drove thru it once.

            Just spare us the pretense of acting like you have an informed opinion.

          8. DiegoF

            Yonkers? I thought you represented Manhattan and Scarsdale GILMORE

          9. Gilmore

            -“thought you represented Manhattan and Scarsdale GILMORE”

            I lived in brooklyn a combined ~16 years, between some high school years w/ my dad in bay ridge, and then 13 years in Northside williamsburg

          10. Gilmore

            in fact i only lived in manhattan something like a combined ~7yrs or so, between early childhood and post-college years w/ my brother.

          11. DiegoF

            Who you meowin’ at Swissy?

          12. TK

            *ears perk up*

          13. Gettin’ catty in here! Claws out and everything.

          14. DiegoF

            Oh, I know you have lived in Brooklyn a long time now, longer than anywhere else; I just thought you spent H.S. in Scarsdale not Yonkers.

          15. Gilmore

            Went to school there;

            the point about “yonkers” was the absurdity of anyone who lives “downstate” actually identifying as such

            meaning: the difference between East New York and Clinton Hill is vastly more significant than any “upstate/downstate” divide.

            Yonkers sucks. 🙂

          16. Gilmore

            *even funnier footnote:

            for a year or two i considered buying an apartment in Yonkers, right near the train station with a view of the river.

            It was a gamble on “everything on the fringe of the city becoming far more gentrified” and getting ahead of the action.

            then i realized, “but its Yonkers”, and decided that was a terrible idea

      3. TK

        My sister lives in Brooklyn. Every time I go up there to visit, I can’t wait to leave. I hate NYC in general though, I’m not sure how Brooklyn compares to the other neighborhoods.

        Also, Jewish bagels are overrated.

        1. DiegoF

          I prefer the good old-fashioned Episcopalian bagels myself. Those folks know what they’re doing.

          1. I tried to order Nihilist bagels, but they didn’t bother making any.

        2. Gilmore

          ” Jewish bagels are overrated.”‘

          Wait, there’s some other kind?

        3. Gilmore

          how Brooklyn compares to the other neighborhoods.

          The Outsiders Conception of New York City, in a single picture

          1. Manhattan = Patrick Bateman
            Bronx = Depopulated Warzone
            Brooklyn = Hipsters
            Queens = Immigrants
            Staten Island = Jersey Shore

            Did I get that right?

          2. DiegoF

            Manhattan actually has become more and more monolithically Bateman by this point (with considerable remnants of the extremely poor remaining, and even a bit of middle class in the extreme uptown)–except that today’s Batemans are all this all the fucking time, until you are the one who wants to murder them yourself.

          3. Gilmore

            “”Did I get that right?””

            more or less.

          4. DiegoF

            Did you just make that yourself? Because I think this is only the fourth or so time I have heard someone who has barely been here refer to America’s eighth-largest county as a “neighborhood” and I already feel too weary to correct it. I figure it can’t be too common, especially now that Brooklyn is better known around the world than ever.

          5. Gilmore

            “”Did you just make that yourself? “”

            Yes. But was only inspired after the 10,000th comment along the lines of “Oh you live in brooklyn? Do you know Bob?” (which someone actually said to me in an airport once)

          6. But Enough About Me

            “Oh, you live near Vancouver? I’ve got a friend in Winnipeg. Do you know X?”

            An actual, no-shit question I got from someone in the UK a few years ago. It happens to everyone sooner or later, I think. She was stunned when I told her that Winterpeg (heh!) was over 1,800 kilometres as the crow flies.

          7. But Enough About Me

            I’ve always thought of it as more of a black hole, myself . . .

          8. Scruffy Nerfherder

            I just picture the entire city as being populated by L&O SVU cops and attorneys.

            *dun, dun*

          9. TK

            If the entire area sucks equally, does it really matter if it’s multiple neighborhoods or not?

          10. Gilmore

            “the entire area sucks equally”

            – Take 1-part hubris
            – combine with 4-parts ignorance
            – shake liberally
            – serve with dash of smug

            Serves 1

          11. TK

            Haha, that’s a really good comeback, you’ve one-upped my smugness.

            I still think Brooklyn (and NYC as a whole) suck, though. Its an opinion – get over it.

          12. Gilmore

            “”I still think Brooklyn (and NYC as a whole) suck, though”

            That’s perfectly fine. Much of it does.

            its the “pretend to know all of it from your fleeting experiences”-part that no one should take seriously

          13. TK

            “its the “pretend to know all of it from your fleeting experiences”-part that no one should take seriously”

            Please point to where I pretended to know all of it from my fleeting experiences.

          14. Gilmore

            ^

          15. TK

            That’s what I thought, you can’t point to anything specific. I said that I do visit Brooklyn, but even pointed out my own ignorance in saying that I don’t know how Brooklyn compares to other “neighborhoods” (I should have said areas, but that’s just nitpicking). I mentioned that I don’t like NYC in general.

            I said that the whole areas sucks equally mainly to poke fun back at you for you poking fun at me with your map. You responded by saying that I’m smug, ignorant and exhibit hubris.

            If you take offense at people not liking Brooklyn, that’s fine, but don’t act like I somehow came in here saying that I know everything about NYC or Brooklyn – because I said no such thing.

          16. Gilmore

            I’m glad we had this talk

          17. TK

            Sure thing, if you ever want to put words in my mouth again be sure to let me know.

          18. Gilmore

            Yes, in the future i will remember to quote you directly

        4. Heroic Mulatto

          Also, Jewish bagels are overrated.

          YOU SHUT YOUR GODDAMN WHORE MOUTH!

          1. TK

            My sister swears by this one locally-owned Jewish shop in Brooklyn. They tasted like regular bagels to me. A bit stale, actually.

            Maybe I just haven’t been to the right spot – but I find this happens to me with most hyped food – Philly cheese steaks most recently.

          2. Heroic Mulatto

            The question is, how did you eat them?

          3. TK

            My sister picked them up and all she brought was various cream cheeses. So I ate them with those, toasted.

            What is the proper way to eat a NYC bagel? I will try it when I go back this year

          4. Gilmore

            “‘What is the proper way to eat a NYC bagel?”

            On the Number 7 train passing through a neighborhood that looks like Beirut after an airstrike next to an AIDS infected hooker with purple hair, surrounded by arguing hasidics, sitting in a puddle of urine while some criminal plays loud hiphop music out of their phone right in your earhole while rapping “nigger fuck nigger fuck” along with it and then having some filthy beggar with no legs drag himself past and beg for your spare change and you offer him half your bagel but he’s like FUCK YOU I NEED CRACK MONEY

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            Toasted with schmear is fine. A good toasted bagel should be crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside. NYC bagels do have a certain terrior that I haven’t found outside the area. A certain mineral-y aftertaste that almost tastes like club soda.

            That said, Montreal honey-dipped bagels are also excellent.

          6. Gilmore

            NYC bagels do have a certain terrior that I haven’t found outside the area. A certain mineral-y aftertaste that almost tastes like club soda.

            The pipes from the croton reservoir end up giving the water a unique mineral content which bakers discovered produced uniformly superior dough;

            or at least that’s the prevailing theory that i’ve had explained to me a dozen times over the years. I can’t vouch for their accuracy. It is true that NYC has great tasting water. its not something i myself ever noticed until i left and tried drinking sink-water elsewhere and spit it out thinking i was going to die.

          7. TK

            Oh shit actually she did have schmear with it, I forgot. I can’t remember if I had any though. I will have to try it when I go back up.

  13. The Other Kevin

    This reminds me of City Museum in St. Louis. That’s an amazing place too.

  14. CPRM

    Thank you to those who have donated to make the Hat and Hair cartoon. But I’m still short, so I’m still here panhandling.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Then you fit right in this post

  15. CPRM

    Good article Bob. I like wandering post apocalyptic and abandoned areas, but this looks too hippy for my tastes.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Don’t worry, I’m going to the Dark side next……..

  16. KibbledKristen

    Nice coverage!! Pretty sure I’ve seen Bourdain and/or that fat fuck Zimmern out there on one of their shows.

    Closest I’ve been to the Salton Sea is Borrego Springs (which I thought was a real shithole, with some nice outdoorsy things to do on the outskirts). I tried to drive out to Palm Desert one time, but got bored at Warner Springs and turned north to Palomar.

    I wonder why it is that the north side of Salton Sea seems to be doing quite well, and still attracting Hollyweird elites, but the south side is basically dead?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      KK, other than the Coachella Festival nearby, the ENTIRE Sea is dead, and other than Agriculture, there is no economic activity, or minimal anyway, some minor tourism,etc.

      1. KibbledKristen

        Palm Desert/Palm Springs? Or are those considered a different neighborhood?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          very different, 25 miles is a world away out there, off the 111, Going to Slabs, you start on the 86 south, and avoid the whole PS/PD traffic and mess

    2. “that fat fuck Zimmern”

      I hate that guy. Something about him seems to fake. And he looks like a giant baby.

      1. Tundra

        It’s the smug. He’s a fart sniffer, for sure.

      2. Florida Man

        Wait. You hate the fat guy that eats weird things, but not the pretentious douche Bourdain?

        1. I hate Bourdain too; but he doesn’t induce the same visceral disgust as Zimmern does.

          1. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Zimmern just seems like a guy who figured out he could turn his love for weird food into a cash generating opportunity. Bourdain is a pretentious twat.

          2. DiegoF

            His politics seem pretty cool for his social class. I know he does a lot of ranting against smoking bans, regulation and red tape, eminent domain, all from the perspective of how it makes it hard in all these countries for the little poor guy to survive and try to make it against the powerful and abusive and connected; and he just generally rants against anyone who makes rules restricting what he can eat and drink in any way. He’s gotten a lot of shit for that.

      3. KibbledKristen

        THey also have his mic on when he eats. It’s disgusting.

        And every interaction with people on his show is awkward and phoney. You can tell some off the people are like “who the fuck is this bald weirdo?”

        1. Festus

          There’s not much that can put me off my food (excepting a good bender) but listening to other people chew their cud is one of them. My Mom used to slap us across the face if she caught us chewing with our mouths open. It’s ingrained behavior.

      4. KibbledKristen

        Also, he’s claimed to be “from”, like, a bunch of different places. From what I remember – Maine, NYC, and Minnesota.

        1. Tundra

          He lives here but was born in NYC, IIRC.

        2. Scruffy Nerfherder

          He’s an alcoholic and a heroin addict, I doubt he remembers where he’s from.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Nice, but something tells me I’d lose interest in those people after about thirty seconds.

    I’m not a good person.

    1. Tundra

      I like art, but I hate artists.

      1. I like art that showcases remarkable skill and aptitude in creating beauty.

        I don’t subscribe to the “it’s art if I claim it is” school of thought.

        Artists of the former sort run the gamut of personality types. ‘Artists’ of the latter sort don’t talk to me, so I’m not able to assess them.

      2. KibbledKristen

        I used to work for an artist when I was in H.S.

        I recently met up with her in DC, and we went to this restaurant to meet some sort of women activists or some shit.

        Anyhoo, my former boss started this impromptu performance art monologue, and I wanted to roll my eyes so. fucking. hard.

        Pretentious claptrap.

        1. Tundra

          I really shouldn’t have made such a sweeping statement I know plenty of musicians, writers, chainsaw sculptors and designers that are a pleasure to be around. It’s the people who think they need to behave like Salvador Dali or some shit.

          1. My irritation is with people who argue that they’re more sophisticated or profound than the people who say their work is ugly and not worth the price tag.

            The guy who put in This thing is close, but not quite the epitome of that irritating personality.

          2. DiegoF

            You know I don’t even remember that? It’s almost a miracle it didn’t stick, because these things have a way of doing so.

            Where are these activists nowadays that we have Fearless Girl? Recently after dumbass De Blasio’s “temporary” extension he has pushed through a midnight decision that she will stay. Last I heard they were deciding whether to move her and the bull to a different location to accommodate all the visitors. I have an excellent solution: Move her ass out and keep the bull. Build a new bull for her in the new location. Fuck, the original bull artist wants her fake ass out so much he’d gladly give the city any intellectual property permission required.

          3. Tundra

            That’s still not as bad as pretty much any Frank Gehry abortion.

          4. What stuck in my mind was the artist’s attitude.

            “I have the right to leave this steel slab in place, grossly inconveniencing everyone who actually has to use the space because – grossly pretentious bullshit”

          5. mikey

            “Chainsaw sculptor”. I know what that is, but the phrase just has a wired, sinister vibe to it.

          6. My first thought was chainsaws welded together into another form – probably because I was searching through ugly installation art looking for the steel slab I referenced.

          7. Oh, I knew what it is, and yes there are impressive examples of it, but there are times when you see a term that you’ve seen before, but your mind is in a different place, so the image conjured up isn’t the one intented. Or at least my mind does that.

        2. Festus

          Did she put her hair up with chop-sticks?

      3. SP

        I like art, but I hate artists.

        After I’m done sobbing from such hurtful words – when I’ve even done a favor for you TODAY, I’m gonna ban yo pineapple-loving ass, Tundra.

        1. Tundra

          Stop it. I didn’t mean you.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      It’s not the people, it’s the freedom, no one gives a fuck, not Anarchy, but Libertarian. You can still call the Cops, Fire, Ambulance, I had good Phone and data service, and your 5 minutes from Niland, where you can buy food and Beer, so not Anarchy

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I was in El Centro for an offroad race about a thousand light years ago.

    *suck it, pedants.

    1. Chipwooder

      My wife had to go there from Yuma to have her wisdom teeth pulled, for reasons I no longer remember. The tap water is disgusting there.

    2. Light-years measure distance, not time.

      /pedantic bastard

  19. Lachowsky

    Looks interesting. I doubt I’d get along with the locals though.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      They are boring, and don’t want to be bothered, mostly

      1. DiegoF

        So, it’s basically a colony of all the H&Rers, and none of us want to acknowledge each other IRL so we just stay inside of our giant garbage sculptures typing away and pretending we’re all not here.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I like chaos and unregulated organic spontaneity, but most phenomena of this type suffer from the “burning man” effect, and it turns into pretentious posturing and a quest for shock value. Monkey house psychosis.

    1. WHYCOME U NO LIKE ORGY TENT

      1. Tundra

        Low grade OCD, for starters.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          All I can see is herpes… herpes everywhere…..

          1. Tundra

            Scruffy understands.

            *washes hands*

    2. DiegoF

      My understanding is the very, very early burning man they did a lot of driving around and shooting guns. (Pretty remarkable when you consider the first few were in San Francisco.) Almost impossible to keep the original spirit with any kind of growth, but my understanding is they did an exceptionally poor job of even trying. Sounds to me like a typical campover festival, except with more pretentiousness and less music and a bunch of rich assholes instead of hot chicks.

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    There is no Compelling need to return to East Jesus, there are many other “places” to see, the entire place gives off a vibe…
    I need to thank the Editors for cleaning up my mess, the whole thing presents nicely, I approve of this message!
    /Humbled

  22. straffinrun

    Fun stuff. The beach without the water.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      Fun stuff.

      OK, that’s creepy.

      1. straffinrun

        My bad. I’ll go with gibberish next time.

  23. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Fun stuff.

    I went to the Hirshhorn this week. The kids got their first exposure to modern art, specifically a lot of 80’s art. Their response was a collective WTF.

    The crowd was almost as entertaining as the exhibits. It was mostly disaffected teens/college students with skinny jeans and pink hair along with urban, upper class women sporting designer handbags. All of whom were pretending to understand exactly what the artist intended to say when he placed a box of Ajax on a shelf next to a glass pitcher and called it art.

    1. Raston Bot

      HBO’s Divorce does a good job funning the shit out of modern art as one of the co-leads opens a gallery. there’s a “Peltz” (as the works are known by their artist) that’s shaped like a long turd that’s reportedly worth $2M.

      1. DiegoF

        I understand The Square was pretty good.

        1. DiegoF

          Sorry; here‘s the full scene for you true fine art aficionados.

        2. Raston Bot

          ha!

    2. Chipwooder

      “The crowd was almost as entertaining as the exhibits. It was mostly disaffected teens/college students with skinny jeans and pink hair along with urban, upper class women sporting designer handbags. All of whom were pretending to understand exactly what the artist intended to say when he placed a box of Ajax on a shelf next to a glass pitcher and called it art.”

      This tracks closely with my conception of Hell.

    3. pistoffnick

      Last summer my daughter and I meandered through 5 floors of MOMA. On the 6th floor my feet were tired and knees achy. There was a bunch of chairs set up all facing a giant canvas on the wall. I was about to sit down on one of the chairs and have a long look at that canvas. A guard came up and told me that the arraignment of chairs was an art installation. That was the moment I had had enough of pretentious art.

      1. Scruffy Nerfherder

        It was there to startle you with the irony of not being able to sit in a chair after touring six stories of a museum.

        Totally subversive, ironic, and witty.

        I feel smart now.

        *buys designer handbag, dyes hair*

      2. Nephilium

        See, I can dig the interactive style art modern art exhibits. I’d be willing to bet that the artist in this case expected people to sit and stare at the canvas (assuming the canvas was part of the same installation).

        1. Mad Scientist

          And thus, the mind of the beholder becomes a part of the installation. Like, deep, man.

        2. Raven Nation

          Old & New Art: https://mona.net.au/

          IFH told me about, it’s actually pretty cool.

          1. Nephilium

            Speaking of old art… the girlfriend and I will be heading down to Cincinnati at some point this spring/summer to check out the Terracotta Army exhibit.

          2. Raven Nation

            V. cool. I would love to visit the China site sometime.

  24. mikey

    Hey Yusef, this is great. The North Coast of California in the late sixties lives on.
    Reminds me of the Richmond mud flats where people would built these weird and wonderful sculptures out the driftwood and other washed-up junk.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Thanks, One thing occurred to me, they are reclaiming junk and doing Art with it, then leaving it in the Desert, Why? So all the junk erodes in one place?
      Big piles of rust? Toxic archaeology for the Future? I don’t get it……

      1. I seriously doubt they are thinking “what happens when I walk away from this?”

        Their fixation and satisfaction comes from the act rather than the result.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Exactly this^ You Win The Thread!!!!!

    1. Watching porn on his work computer is a felony!?

    2. I didn’t know Kurt Eichenwald became a police officer.

  25. AlmightyJB

    So why don’t they just allow the sale and then use Eminent Domain to seize it?

    https://hotair.com/archives/2018/04/05/justice-department-suing-california-federal-land-sales/

  26. The Late P Brooks

    One thing occurred to me, they are reclaiming junk and doing Art with it, then leaving it in the Desert, Why? So all the junk erodes in one place?
    Big piles of rust? Toxic archaeology for the Future? I don’t get it……

    I’m surprised the State of California hasn’t put an end to this grotesque despoliation of that pristine gerbil and scorpion habitat.

    Send in the National Guard with armored bulldozers to clear away the litter.

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m off, I must put this back together, i installed the new one earlier today,
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/akeIV0dZoizWXjuP2
    Drain pan

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s art!

      1. And when he’s done, it will provide a useful function to boot.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    disclaimer (just in case)-

    This is just like all the other things I don’t “get”.

    I don’t have to get it. They can do as it pleases them, and as long as it has no adverse effect on me, I say wholeheartedly, “Go for it.”

    1. DiegoF

      Fuck you; cut spending.

        1. Tundra

          We’re fighting? Sounds good.

          *drops gloves*

          1. Drake

            Which side am I on? does it matter?

          2. Tundra

            Nah, it’s actually best to wade in and start swinging!

          3. Jump in the Zamboni and start running people over.

          4. It’s not terribly fast, you have to catch them by surprise.

          5. DiegoF

            The ones you don’t get a clean hit on, just knock ’em down and I’ll cut ’em up with my luge blades!

  29. CPRM

    wit·tol
    /ˈwidl/
    noun archaic
    a man who is aware and tolerant of his wife’s infidelity; an acquiescent cuckold.

      1. DiegoF

        Seems in that particular case the woman had to go and ruin everything. She spotted the younger fellow (Gyges, the king’s bodyguard) in the picture peeping, and demanded he die or kill her husband and become king himself. So he did! Also, according to a linked article apparently he wasn’t satisfied with what he saw there because he took an even younger and prettier guy called Magnes as a side piece. But everybody loved Magnes, and when he was spitting game at a gaggle of adoring local ladies their brothers grabbed him and beat the shit out of him. So basically the Greeks then as now were a bunch of freaky-deaky horndogs, but apparently both sexes used to wax a fuckload better than they do nowadays if all the art can be believed.

    1. DiegoF

      That’s the term that should have caught on! That is the type of cuck that everyone is talking about, since that is presumably the fetish that is served by the porn. (It would not be physically possible to be turned on by an unknown cucking!)

      1. TK

        You don’t occasionally get unknown erections?

        …You’re saying that’s not normal?

        1. It’s like your ears burning except it means some dood is fucking your wife.

          1. Florida Man

            Nice.

        2. DiegoF

          Hmmm. Excellent theory. Though it would appear I was getting cucked progressively less and less every year from my preadolescence through my college days.

    2. Florida Man

      I thought it was sharpening a stick with your pocket knife.

      1. 3.5/10 euphemism.

    3. Raston Bot

      sounds like a British junkie saying “little”

      as in:

      “Don’t hurt me, Arch. I’m only wittol.”

  30. Tundra, I just sent you an email.

    1. Tundra

      Got it! And responded.

  31. Florida Man

    My wife found an injured bunny at work. She wants to bring it home. I reminded her we have two pit bulls so it’s probably not the best idea.

    1. commodious spittoon

      What a pitty.

      1. Florida Man

        Some kids were kicking it. Children are evil.

        1. DiegoF

          Wait, some kids were kicking the bunny? Jesus Christ. They weren’t also wetting their beds and starting fires, perchance, were they? Kinda quiet overall otherwise?

          1. Florida Man

            I wasn’t there. She works at a middle school, which is when I think children are at their most cruel form.

          2. DiegoF

            Middle school kids are pure evil. They have several times the hormones of a grown-up and the brains of toddlers. They are stupid and smelly and mean and just plain test their parents’ love (hopefully) as much as they ever will.

            The only reason high school is depicted in art as the peak of the “adolescentness” of adolescence is that adults can play high schoolers with a minimum of plausibility. Back when most depictions were books, younger kids were quite often the most prominent media subjects of adolescent journeys–think Huck Finn. Very little screen art gets it right; my favorite is Welcome to the Dollhouse, which makes it explicit that junior high is the peak of hell, and for most kids things actually start settling down and getting more comfortable for themselves in high school.

          3. Chipwooder

            Nah, high school is pretty awful too because you’re adding love/dating into the mix to a much greater extent.

            For me, 6th through 10th grades were just a blur of shittiness. It wasn’t until junior year that I finally said “fuck it” and stopped caring what anyone thinks of me.

          4. Mad Scientist

            Not just kids. Florida kids.

          5. DiegoF

            Even the rich kids in Florida are weird-looking scary little monsters, as we now know well enough.

      2. Tundra

        Swiss?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder

      One word… fleas

    3. R C Dean

      I reminded her we have two pit bulls so it’s probably not the best idea.

      Depends on who you ask. The bunny? Probably wouldn’t think its a good idea. The pits? I’m guessing they would give it the thumbs up, if they had thumbs.

      My male Staffordshire Bull Terrier (a pit variant – think shorter and wider, the bulldog really shows) kilt him an actual Gila Monster yesterday. Rather a large one – pushing 16 inches. Impeccable technique – came up on it from behind (that’s my boy!), grabbed it in front of the back legs, gave it the patented neck-snapping shake (also producing an impressive blood spray on the walls of their kennel), dropped it and wandered off.

      He was quite pleased with himself the rest of the day, and is now referred to as the King of the Lizardkillers. Seriously, for a dedicated reptile killer, the only place to go from here is frickin’ alligators.

      1. Florida Man

        Maybe iguanas next. The ones in south Florida are getting pretty big. I kind of want to let my blue go after one, but I don’t want him to get hurt. He is happy killing whatever rodents come in the backyard.

        1. Komodo dragon.

        2. R C Dean

          Nah. Iguanas are a step down. Bigger, but not carnivores with venomous bites.

      2. Raven Nation

        *lights Mr. Lizard signal*

        Watch out for a mass driver attack.

        1. R C Dean

          The King of the Lizardkillers says “Bring it, Scaly, if you think you’re hard enough.”

  32. The Late P Brooks

    My wife found an injured bunny at work. She wants to bring it home.

    They’re delicious.

    1. commodious spittoon

      Chicken of the land, they call it.

    2. Florida Man

      It’s very small. Maybe an appetizer.

  33. Chipwooder

    So the Atlantic has caved and fired Kevin Williamson. What a surprise!

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder

      *shockedface*

    2. commodious spittoon

      Surprise, surprise, surprise. Fucking abortion obsessives.

    3. But Enough About Me

      Apparently there’s some evidence that he was of the opinion that women who had abortions should be hanged/executed. There’s no way to know how serious he was about that viewpoint (if in fact he was serious, that’s fairly awful, IMNSHO), but since the memo from The Atlantic‘s publisher mentioned it seemed to be an ongoing opinion, supposedly they had no option but to fire the guy.

      “May you live in interesting times.”

      1. commodious spittoon

        Abortionists, yes. Women, no. I remember the conversation he and Cooke had about it, he was discussing the “Women are victims, too” tack that some conservatives have taken on abortion.

      2. This was known about him prior to hiring him though. If they had a problem with it, they should never have given him a job offer.

  34. Many years ago my well-traveled uncle gave me directions to a canyon north of Las Vegas where someone had painted murals on the canyon walls. I cannot seem to find any reference to it and the location is rather vague in my mind. Seems like it was about an hour or so north of Vegas on US-95. There was a turn-off to the right and the road ended in the box canyon after just a few miles. There might have been a resident or two but I recall that it was a former mining town or something.

    Anyone else heard of this?

    … Hobbit

    1. Chipwooder

      I’m assuming you’re not talking about the petroglyphs at Red Rock Canyon?

      1. It might be. Are they around that location?

        The whole thing was so long ago that I had just about forgotten it until this article.

        1. After googling, it’s not the same place. The place I recall was much more hippy art.

          1. R C Dean

            You might be able to retrace your route on Google Earth.

          2. I tried that before posting. Problem is the vagueness of the whole memory.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    So the Atlantic has caved and fired Kevin Williamson. What a surprise!

    No

    fucking

    way.

    That column I saw (linked) seemed to have plenty of anti-Trump woven into it.

    1. commodious spittoon

      He was outed for his extremist anti-abortion position about which he’s been totally open and honest.

    2. Chipwooder

      Seems pretty obvious that Goldberg hadn’t read too much of Williamson’s pre-Trump work and figured he was a safe hire because of his hatred of Trump. Whoops.

      I’ll give Williamson credit for not letting NeverTrump override his previously-held beliefs, unlike craven pieces of shit like Max “I’m totally woke now, yo!” Boot.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    It’s very small. Maybe an appetizer.

    Maybe you could use it as a garnish. On top of a pot pie, or something, with a little baby carrot in his mouth.

    1. Florida Man

      That is cute and makes me sad at the same time.

    2. Chipwooder

      Caroline: I had this dream where I’m in this restaurant, and the waiter brings me my entree. It was a salad. It was Lloyd’s head on a plate of spinach with his penis sticking out of his ear. And I say, “I didn’t order this.” And the waiter says, “Oh you must try it, it’s a delicacy, but don’t eat the penis. It’s just garnish.”

      Dr Wong: Lloyd, what do you think of this dream.

      Lloyd: I think she should stop telling it at dinner parties to our friends.

  37. robc

    Sergio Garcia just put up a 13 at the 15th hole at Augusta. I don’t think he is repeating as champion.

    1. kinnath

      Did he pull a Tin Cup?

      1. robc

        No, it looks like he dropped in the drop zone just fine. But couldnt reach the green from it.

      2. robc

        There is a clip on youtube, looks a lot like Tin Cup, backspin off the green back into the water. Kept leaving it short of the hole and it would back up.

    2. robc

      The shot tracker show 3 balls in the water, but it was confused, I think it may have been 4.

    1. DiegoF

      He’s right about a tiny portion of that. The poor tribal blacks who are thrown off their land by their corrupt “chiefs” in deals with rich corporations do not seem to be getting the kind of attention that the whites are. The whites with their modern farming techniques are obviously going to be a bigger economic disaster for the country than the poor hand-to-mouth blacks, and there is that ugly racial dimension as well, but evil is evil and we should certainly care no less about the oppression of someone because he’s impoverished and marginal and “matters” to no one outside his village! So much’s the more reason! This is one of the greatest and least known monstrosities of the “new” South Africa–the power it gave to these pieces of filth.

    2. Drake

      In the meantime, white South Africans should be offering their energies (and for farmers, some of their land) to help find solutions.

      Final solutions?

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Hateful

    And so Goldberg on Thursday reversed course, telling Atlantic staffers that the podcast demonstrated how Williamson did, in fact, believe that women should be hanged for having abortions—language which Goldberg denounced as “callous and violent.”

    “The language he used in this podcast—and in my conversations with him in recent days—made it clear that the original tweet did, in fact, represent his carefully considered views. The tweet was not merely an impulsive, decontextualized, heat-of-the-moment post, as Kevin had explained it.”

    The top editor emphasized that Williamson’s firing was not a result of his being anti-abortion—a common position for deeply religious Americans of all political stripes—but because of what his especially violent belief could mean for workplace relationships with female colleagues who may or may not have had an abortion.

    “Oh, no. Not because he thinks abortion is murder. Not at all. It’s just… you know… he thinks it should be treated as murder.”

    1. Gilmore

      I really think we’ve hit a low point in American media if bullshit character-assassination of someone on twitter becomes “Convention Wisdom” in a matter of days.

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        All the various MSM outlets mirror each other and draw their talking points from the same well, just usually on the opposite end of the political spectrum. Seeing them call the Sinclair kerfluffle out as stridently as they have would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic.

  39. But Enough About Me

    Apropos of nothing else, I’m hugely impressed that Yusef was wandering around the Californian deserts wearing mostly black. I would’ve melted into a puddle within the first hour or so.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    From some website I have never heard of

    Would Goldberg hire a woman who had said that all men who exercised a legal right should be dead? Maybe if she was ideologically diverse enough, but it’s unclear what this really means. It’s fine that Williamson personally opposes abortion, but arguing for the execution of a quarter of the female population isn’t just ideological diversity. It’s extremism, and it has no place in mainstream media.

    Women are not a special interest group. We are half of the population. It’s time for newsrooms to reflect that, but editors like Goldberg put in place conflicting policies about objectivity that seem to only apply to the people who historically have been kept out of newsrooms like his, or who are joining those people in the fight for equality.

    If we want an answer to the first question, we can wait and see if the Atlantic hires David Hogg.

    Apparently, the Atlantic (and every other news outlet) should just randomly round up enough female humans to achieve gender equity. The quality of the writing and reportage might actually improve.

    1. “but arguing [that political opponents and irredeemable] isn’t just ideological diversity. It’s extremism, and it has no place in mainstream media. [Middle America is] not a special interest group. We are [more than] half of the population.”

      FIFT.

  41. are irredeemable* but you knew that.

  42. Festus

    Excellent reportage, Bob! If I’d known a place like that existed when I was 20 years-old and aimless, I’d have moved there in a heartbeat. Good job!

    1. Festus

      Side note – Did you find the Hihn-hive?

  43. DEG

    Thanks Yusuf! I like the pictures you took.