THE PHILOSOPHER’S STONE?

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AFTER THE TERRIBLE EVENTS OF THE PAST FEW WEEKS, ZARDOZ HAS BEEN IN A CONTEMPLATIVE STATE. WHEN THE CHOSEN ONE KNOWN AS “TARRAN” SENT IN SOME QUESTIONS THE NOTED BRUTAL PROFESSOR JORDAN PETERSON HAD RECEIVED, ZARDOZ FELT COMPELLED TO ANSWER SOME. FRIEND STEVE SMITH WILL ANSWER OTHERS LATER ON.

ZARDOZ WILL START WITH AN EASY ONE…

Q: I married young and have had only 1 sexual partner. Now I desire variety, but value my marriage and will not cheat. Any insight on overcoming this conflict?

A: QUESTIONING BRUTAL, REMEMBER, THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, AND MAKES NEW LIFE TO POISON THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN, AS ONCE IT WAS. TO OVERCOME THIS CONFLICT, REMEMBER THAT THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH AND PURIFIES THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. GO FORTH AND REMAIN MONOGAMOUS, OH, AND KILL, WHILE YOU ARE AT IT. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

 

NEXT, ZARDOZ WILL ADDRESS MORE SPECIFIC INQUIRIES.

 

Q: Any update on your plans to start providing independent classes or an online university?

A: SHOULD ANY BRUTAL WISH TO LIFT THEMSELVES OUT OF BRUTALITY (AND RECEIVE THE GIFT OF THE GUN UPON GRADUATION!) ZARDOZ WOULD SUGGEST TAKING DISTANCE LEARNING CLASSES (IT IS NOT LIKE YOU ARE GOING TO GET INSIDE THE VORTEX) FROM THE TABERNACLE. HOLOGRAPHIC INSTRUCTORS WILL TEACH YOU FROM A STOREHOUSE OF ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE. AND, SINCE THE ETERNALS LIVE FOREVER, YOU CAN TAKE AS LONG AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO FINISH YOUR COURSES. CHECK WWW.UNIVERSITYOFVORTEX.EDU. ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

UNIVERSITY OF VORTEX

 

Q: I am a sober alcoholic/drug addict. How can I find my way back to belief in a higher power after 10 years in the empty void of atheism. I’m falling apart.

A: YOU HAVE BEEN RAISED UP FROM BRUTALITY, TO KILL THE BRUTALS WHO MULTIPLY, AND ARE LEGION. TO THIS END, ZARDOZ YOUR GOD GAVE YOU THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD! IF ZARDOZ IS NOT A HIGHER POWER ENOUGH FOR YOU; FIRST – RETURN THE GIFT OF THE GUN, SECOND – SEEK OUT A LOCAL HOUSE OF WORSHIP AND ASK TO SPEAK TO THE CLERGY ON STAFF.

NO, I WILL READ “DIANETICS”!

 

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.