Fuck, its only Thursday.  I swear to God the way this week is moving it feels like Tuesday.  Next Tuesday. But here we are… on Thursday March 22nd: the birthday of subtle genius Chico Marx, underrated Karl Malden, (favorite of Drake) Werner Klemperer, USA Today founder and contributor to the dumbing down of America Al Neuharth, idiot Pat Robertson,  William fucking Shatner, Orrin freaking Hatch, scourge of juicers Dick Pound, Andrew Lloyd Webber, dipshit-extraordinaire Wolf Blitzer, chin-strong Reese Witherspoon, and local philanthropist and part-time football stud JJ Watt.

As you can see, the sports update is a little thin, what with the international soccer break meaning no midweek games, no CBB until tonight and a small slate of hockey games, the results of which are as follows: Pittsburgh beat Montreal (and Sidney Crosby apparently scored a sick goal but I can’t be arsed to find a video of it because ESPN sucks ass. Arizona beat Buffalo in a preview of teams that won’t care until next season (at the earliest). St Louis topped Boston in a game both teams desperately wanted to win for playoff purposes. And the Anaheim Mighty Ducks blanked the Calgary Flames.

Doesn’t make sense

That’s pretty much all I’ve got for sports. Which leaves room for a bit of a rant.

Doesn’t make sense

Can somebody, since the writer/director is dead, please fucking explain to me why four of the five kids in The Breakfast Club were driven there by their parents?  They’re all seniors, obviously. Claire is ridiculously wealthy and her dad wasn’t mad at her at all when he dropped her off. Andrew’s a star jock, whose dad wasn’t really mad at him for what he did per se, only that he got caught. Allison’s parents don’t give a shit about her at all but they drive her too.

Doesn’t make sense

And its not like she’s poor. They’re driving a new Cadillac!

Makes some sense

Okay, I can see Brian’s mom taking him because she comes across as a hectoring asshole. And obviously Bender walked because he’s poor and his parents don’t give a fuck about him.  But at least three of them getting dropped off, at 7 am on a Saturday no less, doesn’t make any sense.  Thanks a lot, John Fucking Hughes.

Still awesome

Anyway, here are…the links!

Unless you’ve got access to some Farrakhan archives or David Duke’s pen pal letters, this will probably be the most vile, racist thing you will read all day. Its certainly ::dons sunglasses;; beyond the pale.

Idiot

The Trudeau Age gets more absurd by the day. “Man, woman? They’re just words. We’re all the same, dude person. We’re all the same.” In the words of Mr Slave: Jesus Christ.

I can’t wait to see the ballistics report on this circle jerk. Also, aren’t handguns illegal there?  I thought that meant this kind of thing could never…..oh wait, let me guess: its because anybody can just drive to (enter name of neighboring state or Indiana) and get a gun from a gas station without an ID.

A brutal, yet sad, assessment on Chicago politics and Election Day fallout. Asked to comment on the election results, several Chicago voters exclaimed “thank you sir, may I have another!”

Idiot

Trump responds to Joe Biden the way Trump responds to everybody. If you’re on Twitter or plan on watching the news today, get some popcorn and prepare to see a lot of people with the vapors. As for me? I’ll get the jiffy pop out as soon as I stop laughing.

You know, there’s a really easy way for the public to decide what really happened here: Just release the damn video. I know, I know. That’s crazy talk.  Well call me crazy then.

That’s it. Other than this entirely predictable selection.

Have a great day!

::walks across football field…raises fist::