SEA SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS

LIKE SEA SMITH SIDEBURNS?

SEA SMITH HERE TO DO LINKS. AFTER LAST WEEK, COUSIN STEVE SMITH AND ZARDOZ TOO SAD TO MAKE LINKS FOR HERE. SEA SMITH DO GOOD JOB…HE LIKE TO MAKE LINKS FOR PEOPLE. AND BY MAKE LINKS, MEAN…MAKE LINKS. SEA SMITH GO LOOK FOR FISHING BOAT LATER. HE BE MOST DANGEROUS CATCH. BY MOST DANGEROUS CATCH, MEAN DANGEROUS TO FISHING BOAT CREW!

  1. LAND CREATURES WALK OUT, HIJINX ENSUE. SWIMMING MUCH BETTER THAN WALKING.
  2. FOR THAT MATTER, PILLAGE BETTER THAN WALKING.
  3. MUCH SPAWNING, VERY INEFFICIENT! SEA SMITH CAN TEACH DOLPHIN TECHNIQUE.
  4. SEA SMITH THOUGHT THIS WAS SALMON AND GOT HUNGRY. MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH!
  5. SEA SMITH INTRIGUED… AND NOW HUNGRY.

NOW RELAX AND ENJOY WAVES LAPPING.

Comments

229 responses to “SEA SMITH FRIDAY NIGHT LINKS”

  1. Trigger Hippie

    Fritz!

    1. Mr Lizard

      You know who else abruptly called out some German guy?…

      1. Trigger Hippie

        John McClane?

        1. RegicidalManiac

          “Now I have a machine gun.

          Ho ho ho.”

        2. This Machine

          Nice.

      2. We called out Grandpa a lot.

    2. Trigger Hippie

      As an aside, I’m little disappointed that as of yet, I haven’t seen my Buddy Cole ‘first’ gif I submitted to Riven awhile back.

      1. If you want to show up, you need to post a drunken rant.

      2. MikeS

        I’ve been first multiple times and never gotten a ‘first’ gif.

        Of course, I also have enough self confidence to not need to ask for such reassurances…

        1. MikeS

          Who am I kidding?!

          Why can’t I ever get a ‘first’ gif?! *sobs emotionally from nicotine overdose*

          1. Trigger Hippie

            I don’t necessarily care if I receive one for myself, I just thought the gif is funny and wanted to see it make an appearance.

            https://media0.giphy.com/media/3o7qE6SJP91elen3qw/giphy.gif

          2. MikeS

            Oh shit. That is pretty funny.

          3. Chipping Pioneer

            Heh. I’ve got a good Scott Thompson story, but I’m too drunk to type it all out on my phone. IT’S NOT GAY AT ALL. NTTAWWT.

          4. Trigger Hippie

            Tease

          5. Chafed

            That’s great. I want to see it on the site.

    1. Chafed

      I’ve never seen Afroman and Questlove together. You don’t suppose….

  2. Trigger Hippie

    ‘A Chicago police spokesman says they’re reviewing what he calls “high quality” video surveillance from Walmart to identify the students at fault, as well as videos posted to social media.’

    Finally! Something of high quality is in a Wal-Mart.

    1. Mad Scientist

      as well as videos posted to social media

      I’ll be shocked, SHOCKED to learn the vandals filmed themselves vandalizing and then posted the video on Facebook.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        It really is amazing just how dumb people can be about showing off their crimes.

        1. straffinrun

          Clapper agrees.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      They mean high quality video in comparison to their own dash and body cams.

      1. AlmightyJB

        Meaning the cameras were actually on.

  3. This Machine

    HE BE MOST DANGEROUS CATCH. BY MOST DANGEROUS CATCH, MEAN DANGEROUS TO FISHING BOAT CREW!

    SEA SMITH is Qalupalik?

  4. RegicidalManiac

    It’s horribly petty, but my first thought on reading about the students getting their cash stolen was “ha-ga!”

    Don’t leave your bags unattended period, much less for the sake of social signalling.

    1. RegicidalManiac

      *ha-ha.

      Thanks, phone.

      1. Trigger Hippie

        *Nelson laugh

    2. HAGA!

      Heist American Greenbacks Again!

      1. MikeS

        Hate American Greeks Again!

        1. RegicidalManiac

          Heil Adolf Gruffly Again?

  5. SEA SMITH INTRIGUED… AND NOW HUNGRY.

    Does it come in a 55-gallon drum? Just asking for a friend.

  6. Not Adahn

    Maggie McNeill is a big fan. BIG fan.

    https://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/2017/06/09/testimonial/

    woo hoo! I can make a comment germane to the links!

    1. RegicidalManiac

      I wonder if any similar products are sold in CO that I could get the bride-to-be to try on our wedding night…

    2. Chafed

      Holy cow. You weren’t kidding.

  7. MikeS

    You think fentanyl laced marijuana-Tide pods are dangerous? That’s nothing compared to the evil that has been unleashed upon this NoDak town:

    Vaping device confiscation results in nicotine poisoning

    Shortly after handling the bottle, he began to feel nauseous and dizzy and “got real emotional,” he said.

    “It was freaky,” Conway said. “I had no control.”

    The school nurse was called who monitored his vital signs. Conway declined offers to be taken to the emergency room.

    “I kept going through different stages,” he said. “I’d be nauseous, then there would be different kinds of spins. It was a weird feeling.”

    Over the course of a couple of hours, he went through phases of feeling ill and having intense emotions four times. He went home, slept through the afternoon and woke with the most intense headache he had ever experienced.

    *cough* PUSSY *cough*

    1. Gotta gin up that moral panic….

    2. Hudson

      Probably the worst I’ve ever felt aside from my testicular torsion was when 13 year old Hudson moved from Aberdeen Maryland to bumfuck Oregon. I was hanging out with the local rednecks that were giving me copenhagen. It was all fun and games until they made me take a big ol dip. Spent the rest of the night puking my guts out in a cold sweat.

  8. DEG

    A custodian at a South Carolina school rummaged through students’ book bags during a school walkout Wednesday — and took their cash.

    Aisha Evans stole $180 from three Richland Northeast High School students while they participated in a national protest against gun violence on March 14, according to the Richland County Sheriff’s Department.

    I’m not sure which I hate more. Thieves or supporters of gun control.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Why not both?

      1. DEG

        Right. I should apply the orgy principle here and hate them all.

    2. MikeS

      Or high school students who have, on average, $60 on them at any given time.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Technically, they didn’t have the money on them.

        1. MikeS

          Technicalities are how murderers and child rapists go free!

          1. Derpetologist

            +1 Law and Order episode

            scratch that

            every Law and Order episode

    3. Tulip

      I’ll admit, I laughed.

      1. Hudson

        Well, if we are going to go all fancy…

        The lyrics should strike a chord with libertarians as well.

        1. I could have posted this instead.

          1. SimonD

            wow.

            Back in my band geek days, we actually played an arrangement of this.

            Football in the fall, band in the spring (spring football practice sucked).

          2. Not being in band was one of the ways I rebelled against my parents.

  9. straffinrun

    the line’s first product is called “Knob Polish” and uses CBD oil derived from the marijuana plant

    Back in my day we use to spit shine our knobs.

  10. Juvenile Bluster

    Missed work the first two days of te NCAA tournament due to being legitimately sick. Unfortunately sick enough that I havent felt well enouh to watch one game.

    Someone kill me pls.

    1. MikeS

      Huh. I haven’t felt well enough to watch one game and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever felt!

      /unnecessary snark

      Get better soon!

  11. Derpetologist

    I ran a 6:40 mile today, though it was on a treadmill. My goal is to work my way up to 2 miles at a 9 mph pace.

    I think running fast even 3 or 4 minutes day is very beneficial. You can’t improve your cardio endurance without getting close to your max.

    1. Chipping Pioneer

      GlibFit post is – – > that way, dude.

      /snark

      Seriously, nice work. Even when I reach my goal, I figure running 2 miles would kill me.

      1. Chafed

        Well those cigarettes aren’t helping.

  12. leonadasiv

    Do people not understand what Non-disclosure means or am I mistaken.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      You’re not mistaken, but NDAs ar easily breakable. Most of them have liquidated damages clasues that limit liability if broken ($1 million in the case of Stomy Daniels, which she’ll surely make up tenfold)

      1. R C Dean

        Ours have language greasing the skids for a temporary restraining order.

      2. Hudson

        IANAL (my favorite acronym btw), but I do remember from my business law courses that contracts get voided all the time by the courts for not being in the public interest or somesuch.

        1. Gustave Lytton

          +1 Jeri Ryan’s divorce proceedings

  13. Derpetologist

    IHOP in Maine apologizes after server makes black teens pay upfront for meal
    http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2018/03/13/ihop-in-maine-apologizes-after-server-makes-black-teens-pay-upfront-for-meal.html

    ***
    The restaurant has had a number of people, mainly teenagers, skip out on their bills in recent months and Escobar thinks the server was trying to prevent it from happening again.
    ***

    But enough of that! It’s time to virtue signal!

    ***
    Today I witnessed something that has left me feeling literally ill. I went to dinner tonight at Ihop with my parents in Auburn, ME and witnessed something disturbing.

    He explained that the group of four were “African American teens who I believe were Somali as the girl was wearing a hijab.”

    “The woman took it upon herself to make this group of teens pay for their meal upfront because she considered them ‘high risk.’ I don’t care who has walked out on your establishment. That does not give you the right to determine who you believe is going to or not,” Gagne continued.
    ***

    Way to stereotype, shitdick.

    1. straffinrun

      The woman who requested they pay upfront came over and began to tell us how it was what management has asked her to do as they have had walk outs etc

      Dude. There’s an edit feature on FB. That sentence gave me a headache.

    2. R C Dean

      Yup. As ever, FB makes me hate people.

      Fuck you. People have been stealing. How the business stops that is none of your business. Asshole.

  14. commodious spittoon

    I went to meet a friend at what turns out to be the most family-friendly taproom in existence. It’s hipster central, except all the hipsters have kids and potbellies. It’s cafeteria style seating here. The bar doesn’t serve food; these families order out to dine in. They’re playing pop music and have basketball playing, but the ambience is Disney.

    1. commodious spittoon

      And now there’s live music.

      1. commodious spittoon

        I don’t know what that track was called, but it sounded like a Jimmy Buffet tribute. No lyrics, though, which is strange, since before both songs now the lead singer, or what I assume would be the lead singer, leans into the microphone and gives his best unintelligible pilot voice. Which is remarkable all by itself, since the room dutifully quiets down an octave to better not hear him.

        The milfs in this place are on point, it must be said. There’s a girl in Barack pants at the bench in front of me who should be modeling swimsuits. Instead, she’s trying to quiet her carrier-bound infant, who seems to be straining to make out what the singer is saying between sets, too.

        1. Ugh. Jimmy Buffett.

        2. commodious spittoon

          You know girls of the sixth floor in that IT Crowd episode, who are all supermodel hot despite working at an office that produces…. something industrial, it’s never disclosed. That’s what it’s like here, but, like, scaled down to Albuquerque standards, because, I mean, come on, we’re not attracting emerald-eyed blondes here, but still, given that context, the hotness of the women here is real and entirely belies the atmosphere.

          The live, dutifully silent musicians are now covering Istanbul, Not Constantinople.

          1. What’s wrong with earthy Mexican sensuality?

            I find Katy Jurado’s character much steadier than Grace Kelly’s icy blonde in High Noon.

    2. straffinrun

      I don’t know what “cafeteria style seating” is. Like prison cafeteria?

      1. commodious spittoon

        More like barbecue joint seating. Long tables shared by strangers.

        1. MikeS

          I hate that but it seems to be all the rage. Trying to emulate “beer hall” seating, I suppose.

          1. straffinrun

            I’m all for a good putsch.

          2. MikeS

            This country does need a good putsch right now. You go first.

          3. commodious spittoon

            I’ll third that.

    3. Isn’t the bigger problem that it’s beer?

    4. MikeS

      That sounds horrible

    5. juris imprudent

      Either they have amazing beer or you are giving OMWC some competition.

      1. commodious spittoon

        It’s decent beer, hot waitresses, hot milfs, and I’m enjoying a couple minutes with my drink before taking off home. There’s a big tubby woman dancing with her infant at another table.

    6. AlmightyJB

      You know what I hate. Children at bars.

      1. jesse.in.mb
        1. AlmightyJB

          Pretty much

      2. Mad Scientist

        Children are offensive everywhere.

    7. jesse.in.mb

      So I recommended Smog City for a fairly large birthday to a friend of a friend. Same layout, semi-industrial, always has a food truck. That day there was a BABY SHOWER. Everyone was all “babe if I’m pregnant and you throw a party for me at a brewery, I will aggressively work toward giving the kid fetal alcohol syndrome”

      1. DEG

        Their beer is good.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          I like Smog City, but I find their stuff solid but not that interesting. Monkish (also in Torrance’s Beermuda Triangle) does really interesting stuff.

  15. Juvenile Bluster

    Having ultimate Jewish food Entaenn’s chocolate donut right now for desert. Glad i’m not puking my guts up repeatedly like I was yesterday morning

    1. SF-ed and Gilmore’d!

      1. Chafed

        It’s a twofer.

  16. Nephilium

    I still exist bastards. I’ve spent the past week reading over 400 pages of documentation, and listening to 4 hours of cross-training videos. Happy St. Practice day all.

    1. MikeS

      Who are you again? Tulpa?

      1. Nephilium

        I’m Tulpa. Who just got a new job, and have to travel the week after St. Patrick’s day with a gods damn 6 AM flight. Sunday will be a day of recovery before the flight.

        1. MikeS

          Uff-da. 6am flights are never good. Ever.

          1. Tundra

            Wrong. I have an early flight the week after next and it is glorious.

            Of course, it’s vacation.

          2. Nephilium

            I offered to have a Sunday flight instead of a Monday flight. The person booking the flights thought a non-direct 6 AM flight would be better then any flight on Sunday.

            I disagree with that opinion.

          3. DEG

            6 AM fight suck. Doubly so on vacation.

          4. Tundra

            Still wrong. I want beach time on day 1.

          5. commodious spittoon

            EXACTLY. VACATIONS SUCK! You’re always pressed to do something worthless, except now you’re not doing something worthless at home, where you might actually do something worthless that’s worth doing, you’re doing worthless shit in some other town wasting someone else’s time. This is why you should take vacations to get paid… right, because you’re on holiday leave… to go do another job. How ingenious is that? You’re getting paid to make even more money. And you’re not doing worthless shit like visiting museums and feeling insecure on beaches, or paying too much to sit in a stadium seat or whatever it is you though would be worthwhile. You’re making money being productive! I’m shocked more people don’t cotton on to workvacation.

        2. I start work at 6AM. Getting up for a flight that early wouldn’t be an issue, except that I’m over an hour away from the airports.

          1. MikeS

            As do I. What I’m saying is, as unpleasant as going to work can be, it does not compare to going to the airport.

            Unless of course your are going on vacation the week after next, then it’s fucking awesome.

    1. MikeS

      #R2metoo

      1. hayeksplosives

        Ha!

  17. Heroic Mulatto

    I’m drunk.

    1. straffinrun

      I recommend posting that stuff you normally would refrain from posting.

      1. Heroic Mulatto
        1. AlmightyJB

          I was there earlier and missed that.

        2. RegicidalManiac

          Note to self: never challenge HM to post things he wouldn’t normally post.

          1. Trigger Hippie

            My all time favorite HM shared video*

            *NSF….anybody, anywhere, anytime.

            https://vimeo.com/86014703

        3. straffinrun

          …./ )
          …..’ /
          —‘ (_____
          ……… ((__)
          ….. _ ((___)
          ……. -‘((__)
          –.___((_)

          1. I think k you needed ASCII.

          2. straffinrun

            I was lazy.

        4. Festus

          Scrubbing recent browser history on my Mark….

      2. commodious spittoon

        *sarahconnerchainlinkfencegif*

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          1. commodious spittoon

            That’s a scene from The Time Machine, right?

          2. C. Anacreon

            Funny, it made me think of cottage cheese.

  18. So…been crazy busy again most of this week (and two more days of reserve stuff). Has Gordilocks put out any updates on his next possible podcast discussion? Didn’t see any updates with him for this week on the talkcdl page.

  19. Derpetologist

    a faint ray of hope

    Knife fights, market forces changing North Korea ‘self-criticism’ sessions

    ***
    The criticisms have at times turned into personal attacks, fanned the flames of distrust and culminated in knife fights among ordinary North Koreans, the source said.

    Increasing marketization at the local level is also responsible for lower attendance rates at self-criticism sessions.

    “As the markets develop, the number of people who do not want to participate in self-criticism sessions has increased,” the source said, adding the sessions are moving away from criticism to praise.

    Another source said North Korean laborers sent to Russia to earn money for the regime are not required to take part in the sessions.
    ***

  20. One more pimp for this week’s comic video: https://youtu.be/q-AzYQq92dI

    Some great new indie Euro translations/reprints being released by Titan Comics / Statix Press stateside. Good stuff – especially if you like Jeff Smith’s “Bone” or Asterix or a similar title.

    May get a video out tomorrow night, but looking more like my next 4 days of reserve work the 2nd half of next week is more likely.

  21. straffinrun

    Millions of Students Are Quietly Being Taught the Koch Brothers’ Whitewashed Version of Black History

    The lessons stress limited government, religious freedom, free-market economics and—worst of all—a revisionist version of the history of slavery that paints it as a necessary evil to further freedom and democracy.

    1. juris imprudent

      Of course they cite the offending materials, right?

      1. straffinrun

        Religion: The lesson includes two articles examining cases where the Affordable Care Act is said to violate religious freedom.
        Expression: Asks if it is a violation of the First Amendment to require restaurants to include calorie counts.
        Personal liberty: Students get to read about the ACA’s abortion coverage.
        Criminal procedure: How you might be criminalized if you don’t purchase health care.
        Federalism: How Obamacare is indicative of big government.

        Basically Yokel stuff.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          You know, Morons…

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Good

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    Anyone seen my Fellow Low life Tres?
    Don’t get Vape juice on your fingers or tongue,
    Lagunitas Maximus is a good Ale
    The Girl from Ipenema is a great song
    Fresh Skywalker has a nice Cheese back taste
    Door Dash Rules!
    ABC construction is stupid

    1. What’s stupid about Alcohol Board of Control construction?

      SLD that states shouldn’t have an alcohol monopoly.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Control over Alcohol is the first thing, and then they get Drunk and build bridges, Control? i don’t think so…..

  23. Derpetologist

    This is how you do outrage porn. They hit everything.

    White Men Stockpile Guns Because They’re Scared of Black People and Feel Inadequate, Science Says
    The average gun owner is a white man without much education.

    ***
    According to science, the average gun owner is a white man without much education who is worried about providing for his family and who is afraid of black people.
    ***

    Science proves people I don’t like are dumb racists!

    1. KSuellington

      It’s settled at this point, no use being s denier.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Projection equals science

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey! i project! and i’m not a Scientist!
        /DENIER!

    3. Urthona

      The stats bear out that white people who hoard guns are not statistically dangerous.

      They threaten bigoted coastals because they have different political opinions.

      That’s about it.

  24. SimonD

    After two days of prelims, it’s time for the main event of the first round of the BBall tournament; TCU/Syracuse.

    Go Frogs.

    🙂

    1. AlmightyJB

      I actually picked Syracuse for the upset on that game.

  25. Derpetologist

    in praise of corruption

    ***
    In the 1840s, the state of Maryland defaulted on its debt and Peabody, having marketed about half of Maryland’s securities to individual investors in Europe, became persona non grata around London. The Times of London noted that while Peabody was an “American gentleman of the most unblemished character”, the Reform Club had blackballed him for being a citizen of a country that reneged on its debts. At first, Peabody sent letters to scold Baltimore friends about the need for the state to resume interest payment and rewarded reporters with small gratuities for favourable articles about the state.[3]

    At last, in 1845 he conspired with Barings to push Maryland into resuming payment by setting up a political slush fund to spread propaganda for debt resumption and elect legislators who would placate their investors. By means of a secret account, the two firms transferred a thousand sterling to Baltimore and even bribed Daniel Webster, the orator and statesman, to make speeches for debt repayment. Their attempts were successful: pro-resumption Whigs were elected and London bankers started to receive payments. Barrings duplicated the same tactics in Pennsylvania. Florida and Mississippi were the most persistent debtors and as such were excluded from Peabody’s later philanthropies. [3]
    ***

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Peabody

    1. Mad Scientist

      1 down….

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        “The 49-year-old is likely to keep at least some of his pension.”

        I’m sure he’ll do just fine.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Also, eligible to retire at age 49 with full benefits if he made it? What the fuck?

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          If i could retire right now, I wouldn’t, i would Die of Boredom, 50 years old retirees need to Die, lazy Scum

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            Yep, too young.

    2. AlmightyJB

      Retiring with a pension at 49. Isnt government work grand. Such selfless servants.

      1. Not an Economist

        A) I don’t know what retirement system he is on, most government retirements systems aren’t that generous.

        B) Don’t worry he is going to fight it (because he did nothing wrong). I give him about a 50/50 chance of winning.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      Fired before he could retire. As he should have been. Sweet Jesus!

  26. Yusef drives a Kia

    i just got this off of one of my YT mixes,Horace Silver – Song for My Father, Say STEELY DAN with me…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWeXOm49kE0&list=RDvmDDOFXSgAs&index=9

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Awe Riiight!!

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      Very fun, as usual

    3. commodious spittoon

      DESTINATION: FUCKED

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        E’s comin rout at you aand, FUCKED!

      2. hayeksplosives

        He sells a destination fucked t-shirt that I kind of want to buy but have no idea where I’d wear it.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Anywhere in Cali would be just fine, I swear to it…

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Have you heard? I’m going to Slab City on Sunday to do a photo expose, You should join if you’re already here

          1. hayeksplosives

            Nah, I won’t be there til March 31. Start date is April 2.

            I was talking to the relocation lady about the corporate apartment I’ll be living in at first, and I jokingly complained that I’d be spending Easter alone in a hotel room. She said she’ll make sure there’s a chocolate bunny.

            I think she was serious. These people are not messing around.

        3. commodious spittoon

          Keeping fingers crossed for your husband. Both of them. Not both your husbands, both my fingers.

        4. Yusef drives a Kia

          What happened to Hubby? i haven’t heard about this

          1. hayeksplosives

            He had a painful medical procedure Thursday morning and we had to to the ER Friday at 1 PM because he was in total agony. Finally got released from the hospital at about 8pm tonight.

            He is on oxycodone but still hating life. Basically the doc says he will have to live in agony for about 6-8 weeks. Poor bastard.

          2. DEG

            Sorry to hear. I hope he gets through it.

    4. MikeS

      Thanks for that you dodgy bastard!

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    So, if we as a nation cannot fund GOV union pensions, SS etc, Why should we Glibs worry about a 49 year old getting a Pension? it won’t last, and We, having acquired other, non gov support, will be laughing at their Poverty, it will be ugly.

  28. Just Say’n

    All existing states are illegitimate. That is all

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Ok….. downer man…

      1. Just Say’n

        Oh, you

  29. Just Say’n

    Andrew McCabe is a hero or something because Drumpf. #Resist or something

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      you’re undercover Antifa aren’t you? trying ti infiltrate the Glibosphere with Your ad Hominem rambling…i’m watching you, Just say’n

      1. Just Say’n

        It’s common knowledge that I’m straight up cosmo

  30. Festus

    Apropos of nothing, the Wifely unit brought me home a body wash called Old Spice “Swagger”. I told her I’d have preferred “Mincer” or “Gambol” She didn’t really get it but she gave a half-hearted chuckle. She is a sweet girl.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      LAUGHING HARD!!! Great one!!!!

      1. Festus

        Thanks! I’m more of a buy a 12-pack of Zest at Costco and be set for the next two years sorta feller. I shave my hair every six months so I don’t need any ointments or unguents in that regard. Heh, “Swagger”.

        1. R C Dean

          Use it. Then bang her lights out. Make her happy. Rinse and repeat.

  31. RegicidalManiac

    I’ve officially accepted Wisconsin’s admission offer to their MBA program, with the ludicrously generous fellowship they’ve attached to it.

    On, Wisconsin!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Very cool! Congrats! I think…

      1. RegicidalManiac

        It’s undoubtedly a good thing. Not what I really wanted, but as investments go, one where half the cost is obviated is pretty great.

    2. Just Say’n

      Wisconsin is merely Illinois’ top hat.

      Congrats

      1. RegicidalManiac

        Honestly, even assuming that’s true (which I dispute), that’s better than being Illinois.

        1. Just Say’n

          Agreed

          *sobs quietly*

          1. RegicidalManiac

            Could be worse, could be NJ.

  32. Yusef drives a Kia

    Now I’m nervous, i have to go out to Slab city alone, i suppose I’ll stick to the well occupied areas, and i will be Dual Wielding, besides the fast Rock thrower,
    I really want to do this, I’m hoping for an expose as it were,but Glib Style,

    1. Festus

      Jesus Christ dude! I watched a documentary about that place and it seems like the nice folk are being overrun by the assholes ( much like certain Farmers in a certain Continent that shall remain anonymous). What in the fuck of a fat chick are you up to, Friend?

    2. KSuellington

      You may want to mount the .50 cal to the center console instead of the roof of the Kia if you are going it alone.

      Seriously though, be safe and look forward to the pics. If you survive.

      1. Festus

        He’ll probably be fine. I used to hang with very sketchy people and yet still survive. Don’t whistle, Bob. They can’t stand the sound of something out of their control. Bring smokes. They all like smokes. Stay hydrated, the Desert is a harsh mistress and above all once you’re done nuke it from orbit because it’s the only way to be sure!

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      guys, i’ve been before, just many years ago, I appreciate and and am listening to all your advice, I’m going in with water and Beer, some weed, and Cash for the Hostel, which is as safe as it gets, but if it feels too sketchy, I’m out before dark, for sure. Wish me Luck, or Prayers

      1. KSuellington

        You’ll be just fine. There is supposed to be some kind of music venue there that has small shows at night. Check it out if you get the chance.

  33. hayeksplosives

    UMBC just made the March Madness brackets a bit more interesting.

  34. Not an Economist

    History has been made. A number one seed in the NCAA Tournament has lost to a 16 seed. UMBC beat Virginia. It only took 136 tries.

    Brackets are busted!!!!

    1. Creosote Achilles

      UVA got exposed. Without ACC refs to let them play hackathon defense, they got schooled. Happy for the Retrievers. Adding a UMBC shirt to my LeHigh and Mercer shirts.

      1. Dude, I went to UMBC for two years in the early aughts. When I went on the new student tour deal they made a point to mention that if anybody was interested in collegiate sports they had a very good chess team and there was a sailing club. UMBC even getting to the tournament is like Sarah Lawrence winning the fuckin’ Rose Bowl. Beating the number one overall seed just buries the needle on incredible.

        I watched the game for shits and grins because I went to UMBC and picked UVA for the whole shebang. UMBC played the best game of basketball I’ve ever seen. If they can keep that up, they’re a match for any of the other teams in the tournament, and I’m counting Nova.

        1. Creosote Achilles

          I imagine you are flying pretty high. I’m genuinely happy for those guys. To come from an unheralded school like UMBC and knock off the #1 overall seed is a helluva accomplishment.

          1. I’ll admit, I felt some unexpected pride when I saw the game. I was a commuter so I never really felt the whole college experience, but yeah, it does feel pretty good. I feel bad for the UVA kids, but that’s mitigated somewhat by the disrespect UMBC is still getting from some of the commentators. Really, if they don’t at least get to the sweet 16 people will just consider it a fluke, or just say that UVA didn’t really show up. But it’s a hell of a start.

      2. Chipwooder

        Bullfuckingshit. Much as this sucks, I will remain very glad that we beat the AFAM Fake Classes All Stars for the ACC title this year.

        1. Creosote Achilles

          The bullfuckingshit is the Bennetball garbage your team plays. And you may remember winning the cocktail party, but meanwhile, the Heels will be still dancing while you go home as the biggest losers to ever play in the Tournament. Every year from now until eternity, you’ll be remember for losing to a 16 seed. The best season your team has ever put together and you still lost to the 16th Seed University of Maryland, Baltimore County to end it.

          So sure, if it consoles you, screech like a prog about the AFAM classes. But the fact remains, in every category that matters; ACC Regular Season wins, ACC Tourny wins, NCAA Wins, NCAA Final Fours, NCAA Championships, total wins, win percentages, every single way that matters we /own/ you the way Thomas Jefferson owned Sally Hemmings.

          1. Festus

            So you REALLY care about black feller ballet and the colors that they represent. Interesting.

          2. Chipwooder

            We didn’t lose to Wofford at home, though.

            Oh, and we didn’t cheat our fucking asses off for two decades, all the while having the conference I. Our back pocket to the extent that everyone knows what is meant by the expression “Carolina refs”. The sheer fucking gall it demonstrates for Carolina fans, of all people, to cry about officiating is breathtaking .

    2. Don Escaped Texas

      Suits me: didn’t have them going out today, but didn’t have them in the final four, either.

      Also frees up my Vols to have a go at Cincy; I saw one of us had the Vols going all the way (ha…even for me: ha).

  35. Just Say’n

    STEVE SMITH seems like a real pussy for being too “sad” to make links. I bet he’s exaggerating all his rape stories too.

    1. Festus

      Friday doldrums. Happens to the best of Rapesquatches.

      1. Just Say’n

        If you’re bragging about raping the shit out of campers, you better have the commitment to provide us links. Otherwise STEVE SMITH might as well be a regular sasquatch. I’m thinking he’s all full of talk, no action

        1. Festus

          Back in the day we’d call guys like that “All talk, No cock”. That one is mine and I’m keeping it!

          1. Just Say’n

            Cat butt or not, STEVE SMITH is a bitch

          2. Festus

            STEVE SMITH HAVE PTSD ABOUT FLOP-EARS. STEVE SMITH NEED TO DISCONNECT FROM FUNNY CAMPERS FOR SHORT TIME. STEVE SMITH BE BACK WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT HIM!

  36. Not an Economist

    In failing bridge news, apparently there were cracks in the bridge before it collapsed. The person at Florida’s Department of Transportation who was contacted about this wasn’t in the office and didn’t get the voice mail until Friday. Additional information and video of the collapse at the link.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      “I didn’t know about it until I saw it in the news, just like you”?

    2. Festus

      So I assume this project was *dons sunglasses* shovel ready? EYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!

      1. Gustave Lytton

        It certainly is now.

  37. Just Say’n

    Even after the announcement of more sanctions today, some neocons still insist that Trump is Putin’s pawn.

    NBC News: Trump drops atomic bomb on Moscow

    Neocon: Notice how the bomb was dropped on Moscow. St. Petersburg has more people. This is a distraction

    1. Just Say’n

      They won’t be satisfied until all Arabs and Eastern Europeans are dead. Leo Strauss would feel ashamed

      1. Festus

        Silly-Billy! the centrists just want to feint at all out war so they can keep reaping the benefits of those sweet, sweet Defense contracts and keep a million deplorables off the streets.

  38. Chafed

    Anyone else listening to Eddie Trunk while Glibbing out?

    1. R C Dean

      Errr, no?

      1. Chafed

        That’s a shame. Heavy metal and Glibs are some of my favorite things.

  39. Festus

    Not a performance video but still worth the watching. I’m feeling so ornery right now I may go outside and kick the snowbanks. https://youtu.be/IK3xkLtqo7g

    1. Chafed

      What’s making you ornery?

      1. C. Anacreon

        No doubt some top quality orn.

  40. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m working out remote video while I’m driving onto Slab town, soi can drive, and thengrab the same Camera and walk with it, so many details….

    1. Festus

      Jesus, Dude! Stay safe! Did you at least bring poppers for the younglings?

  41. straffinrun
  42. straffinrun

    Whopper and beer.. Actually a rare treat for me.

    1. straffinrun

      I give. Beer at BK.

    2. I get redirected to Photobox’s home page.