Wednesday Afternoon Links

Happy Pi Day fellow Glibs. At Akira’s suggestion I made a shoofly pie based on the NYT recipe, shamelessly stolen from an 1860s Amish family cookbook (cultural appropriation at it’s flakiest and sweetest). It was delightful and my coworkers have been gently brought back under my control except the one doctor that grokked I was just trying to get them all fat. The Verge is already in before you start grousing about Tau Day, so don’t, not that it’ll stop you since it’s like herding cats below the fold.

Breitbart reports having pictures of Hawking’s last moments on Earth

The Chinese reporter’s eye-roll that turned a fawning question into an unmissable TV moment. Better than Kim K’s derriere doing it, I suppose. Aww bummer:

But hours later, Liang’s media accreditation to cover the NPC was revoked, according to one of her colleagues.

By Tuesday night, her personal Weibo page had been taken down and search results of her name on the social media platform were censored.

Duterte to withdraw Philippines from ICC after “outrageous attacks.” File this under shit got too real:

The decision marks a stunning about-face by Duterte, who has repeatedly dared the ICC to indict him and said he was willing to “rot in jail” or go on trial to defend a war on drugs that has killed thousands of his own people. […]

Last month, he indicated he would cooperate with the ICC examination and even said he would prefer a firing squad to prison.

Meet the students of Saudi Arabia’s first driving school for women. Saudi Arabia is stepping into the 20th Century. It reminds me of this possibly apocryphal story about women drivers and the House of Saud.

Like the other instructors, Dr. Deema Alsekait has a driver’s license from living abroad. Hers is from the state of Virginia. Saudi leaders lifted the driving ban in part to boost women’s participation in the workforce as the economy diversifies away from oil.

We’ve been made aware of the commentariat’s…appreciation for tits, and wish to include this gift of tits for you as a value-added perk to Afternoon Links

Comments

554 responses to “Wednesday Afternoon Links”

  1. Hyperion

    Could be first.

    1. Chafed

      You are but without a gif to celebrate is it really worth it?

      1. Hyperion

        I was under the impression that gifs were imbued upon us only by the gods.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Hyperion, when someone asks you if you’re a god you say, “YES!”

          1. Hyperion

            Well, I was always under the impression that when I land on a new planet full of nubile women to be gifted to me, that’s of course exactly what I say.

          2. Pan Zagloba

            Yeah, that’s what Danny Dravot thought, and then

  2. Hyperion

    “The decision marks a stunning about-face by Duterte, who has repeatedly dared the ICC to indict him and said he was willing to “rot in jail” or go on trial to defend a war on drugs that has killed thousands of his own people”

    How can you save people from drugs if you don’t kill them?

    1. imprison them in an obliette?

  3. Juvenile Bluster

    Tesla employees say the company is churning out a high volume of flawed parts requiring costly rework

    Luxury automaker Tesla is manufacturing a surprisingly high ratio of flawed parts and vehicles, according to several current and former employees, leading to more rework and repairs than can be contained at its factory in Fremont, California.

    Tesla’s future as a mass-market carmaker hinges on efficient, automated production of the Model 3, which more than 400,000 people have already reserved, paying $1,000 refundable fees to do so. Musk said in July 2017 that Tesla would probably be making 20,000 Model 3s per month by December.

    The company then later downgraded those expectations. It currently says it will make 2,500 per month by the end of this month and 5,000 per month by the end of June.

    One current Tesla engineer estimated that 40 percent of the parts made or received at its Fremont factory require rework. The need for reviews of parts coming off the line, and rework, has contributed to Model 3 delays, the engineer said.

    Another current employee from Tesla’s Fremont factory said the company’s defect rate is so high that it’s hard to hit production targets. Inability to hit the numbers is in turn hurting employee morale.

    Meanwhile, CNBC’s video attached to the story says that options traders are betting on the stock going higher, because up is down and left is right.

    1. consistancy has never been their strong suit.

      More investment in quality control might be in order.

      1. I happen to know a great QC consultant. But you couldn’t lure me back to Silicon Valley for all the goddamn tea in China.

    2. Mad Scientist

      May as well just rename the company Yugo and be done with it.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        That just reminded me being like 7 years old and seeing a Yugo ad in the newspaper when my dad was shopping for cars and telling him he should buy it because it’s only $5000 and that’s so much cheaper than the other cars.

        I don’t know why I suddenly remembered that.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Do you know why Yugos have rear window defrosters?

          To keep your hands warm while you’re pushing.

      2. Pope Jimbo

        I have a buddy from Serbia. He claims that there is a huge rental market there for Yugos. Every visitor wants to drive one while they are there.

        1. C. Anacreon

          We got to drive a Trabant on our recent trip to Berlin. It was a lot of fun.

    3. invisible finger

      Government Motors by another name.

    4. Scruffy Nerfherder

      When upper management demands a ramp up in production that exceeds capabilities, guess what happens?

      1. The Last American Hero

        No shit. If he had pulled it off, the miracle of Tesla wouldn’t have been in making somewhat affordable e-cars. The miracle would have been the massive, quick ramp up in production without a drop in quality. It would have been studied the way you study the assembly line, or just-in-time inventory.

        Of course, every ML class is about a graveyard of companies that tried to grow too fast too soon.

  4. Hyperion

    “Meet the students of Saudi Arabia’s first driving school for women. Saudi Arabia is stepping into the 20th Century.”

    American and Asians tried to warn them, but apparently they’re still hell bent of their own destruction.

  5. LJW

    Three Baylor football players suspended due to sexual assault allegations

    “Three Baylor football players have been suspended from the team because of allegations of sexual assault involving football players and female members of the university’s equestrian team, a university official confirmed to ESPN.”

    Those poor mares.

    1. PBRstreetgang

      There are college equestrian teams?

      1. SugarFree

        Baylor’s women’s team has over 60 riders on their roster.

        http://www.baylorbears.com/sports/w-equest/mtt/bay-w-equest-mtt.html

      2. PBRstreetgang

        Wow! Had no idea.

        1. SugarFree

          Imagine the cost of stabling at least 60 horses throughout the school year.

          1. R C Dean

            No idea, but I would bet that those horses belong to the riders, who pay at least part of the cost.

          2. SugarFree

            I’d like to see it broken out. (Mostly just curiosity.) I knew people involved in this stuff in high school. Between horses, feed, tack, costuming and arena space/upkeep it is an insanely expensive hobby to be called a college sport.

            And there’s no men’s team. I bet it’s a Title IX dodge to balance non-profitable men’s sports.

          3. R C Dean

            Title IX. Of course.

            And I bet most of those chicks aren’t from poor families, either, because horsing is, as you note, crazy expensive. So, its a sweet draw for students who can turn into big alumni donors later.

          4. Bobarian LMD

            +1 Field Hockey

            Manly women!

          5. robc

            Of course it is. That is also why Louisville has a very large women’s crew team (I think 40+ rowers). And no men’s team.

          6. Scruffy Nerfherder

            What hobby do you pick up when you’ve got more money than you know what to do with? Horses, of courses.

          7. The Last American Hero

            What sport would you have the very large women of Louisville do?

          8. C. Anacreon

            At least at my niece’s program, they use their own horses, the U doesn’t pay anything for their maintenance, it’s all the rider’s responsibility.

          9. If you have a vetrinary school, and other livestock related majors, you can amortize the expense.

          10. Brett L

            Did you look at where they’re from. “Grosse Point Woods, MI”, “Cairo, NY”

          11. SugarFree

            Dynamic places that voted for Hillary.

          12. Greene County went for Trump. The NYC exodus isn’t infecting Greene County to the extent that other counties in the area are turning increasingly blue.

          13. Mad Scientist

            On the plus side, their veterinary school gets big discounts on dog food.

        2. C. Anacreon

          My niece is on the University of Illinois Equestrian team. Apparently many colleges have them.

      3. Heroic Mulatto

        Yeah, my alma mater was a big equestrian school as well, which makes sense as it basically started as a horse school.

        1. Not Adahn

          I had no idea you went to Skidmore

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            I almost did, honestly.

    2. Brett L

      There you go being heteronormative.

    3. Drake

      Were the female members horses or humans?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        Listen. Do you want centaurs or not? Because this is how we get centaurs.

        1. Drake

          “Neigh twice for consent”

  6. Just Say’n

    Links from Jesse. What a treat.

    “The Chinese reporter’s eye-roll that turned a fawning question into an unmissable TV moment.”

    Eye rolls are too bourgeoisie. I hope she enjoys prison food.

    *urge to go off topic rising*

    1. Drake

      I’ve gotten that look from several ladies. Not good.

    2. Enough About Palin

      If only we could be China for a day.
      – Tom Friedman

    3. Gadfly

      I hope she enjoys prison food.

      I do too, as the Chinese have worse penalties for dissent than prison.

  7. Brett L

    Pretty tits, Jesse.

    1. mindyourbusiness

      Anybody care to place bets that a modified version of the critter shows up in a future Star Wars movie?

    2. Bobarian LMD

      You can’t even see Jesse’s tits in his profile.

  8. Just Say’n

    https://hotair.com/archives/2018/03/14/whoa-jeff-sessions-may-fire-andrew-mccabe-days-qualifies-federal-pension/

    It’s come to this: SJW insulted by the suggestion that, on average, men are taller than women.

    1. Drake

      That would be epic. I really would prefer that he not get another dollar in my taxes.

      1. Just Say’n

        Shoot wrong link

        1. Zunalter

          Man, you off-topic’d your own link in the same comment. That is like, an Inception-level power move.

  9. Playa Manhattan

    People are driving like it’s International Women’s Day here.

    Move! I have places to be.

  10. Drake

    My son’s public high school dragged everyone into the gym to talk about gun control and such nonsense. A whole bunch of them, like my kid, got up and left. Unsupervised, they had their own rally / part in the auditorium where kids were running around with Gadsden flags.

    1. Hyperion

      Nice!

    2. Sean

      Excellent.

    3. Damn fuckin’ right. If teachers (read: Dem Operatives) wanna promote walkouts and civil disobedience, kids should start walking out on them when they spew their bullshit.

    4. Ed Wuncler

      That’s pretty awesome. I would be super pissed if I had a kid in public school and they were forced to sit through an assembly that tried to persuade them to push for gun control.

      1. Drake

        I warned him about this shit when he wanted to transfer back to public school.

      2. Hyperion

        I have an Asian friend that told me his kids came home terrified the day after Trump was elected. Apparently, the teachers told his kids they would be deported. They’re citizens to start with. I told him ‘I would have been down there mad as hell if that would have been my kids’. There’s no damn excuse for terrorizing kids like that to further your sick political ideology, just like there is no excuse the way they are using them right now to for these protests. How is it that people cannot see what these people are?

    5. LJW

      Congrats is this the first time your son will be put on a watchlist?

      1. Drake

        He attended military school for a year and was an active participant in the rifle club – so no.

        1. LJW

          Well I’m sure he knows to wear it proudly… Unlese it’s one or those lists where you have to tell your neighbors and live at least 1 mile away from schools.

    6. Mad Scientist

      So much for inclusion and diversity.

    7. EvilSheldon

      This makes me happy.

    8. SimonD

      That’s terrific.

      At least some of the kids today understand what a protest actually is.

      You obviously did a good job raising your son.

  11. Brett L

    Hey look more disappearing evidence for Dark Matter.

    Also, thanks, Jesse. I was stuck in a meeting with people telling my why (four days after they got an assignment) they didn’t understand and needed more time. It was like listening to my four year old tell me why he can’t put his pants on by himself today, but less compelling.

    1. Mad Scientist

      Dark Matter and Dark Energy are just a dumping ground for “things we don’t understand yet.”

      1. Emmerson Biggins

        When your theory doesn’t predict things correctly, you invent new unfalsifiable facts, and assume the crap out of them until your theory works again.

        That’s how science is supposed to work, right?

    2. Hyperion

      Dark matter is racist.

      1. The Last American Hero

        Now, now, the cast is somewhat diverse.

    3. Brett L

      Also, I can’t decide if this is an expected outcome of the inverse square law or not.

      In a study published March 9 in The Monthly Notices of the Royal Astronomical Society, astronomers announced the discovery that all disk galaxies rotate about once every billion years, no matter their size or mass.

      On the one hand if M only varies by 1,000,000 and D varies by about 1000 you’re going to come out with some asymptotic number. On the other hand, if M and D are outside that variance by a lot, its pretty interesting.

      1. Well, their rotation curves already don’t conform to expected theory (this was one of the initial drivers arguing for the existence of dark matter), so I’d say all bets are off.

        On a personal note; dark matter bothers me because, by its very definition, it can’t be measured except indirectly. That always struck me as horseshit. Not as big a horseshit as dark energy though.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Indeed. All this can be explained by taking into account the luminiferous aether.

          1. She just *loves* being covered in luminiferous aether.

        2. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

          Q, you dig much into quantum hydrodynamics research at all?

  12. grrizzly

    The Chinese reporter’s eye-roll that turned a fawning question into an unmissable TV moment.

    The U.S. media is much more professional.
    http://dailycaller.com/2016/10/20/video-did-andrea-mitchell-get-a-question-straight-from-hillarys-spokesman/

  13. Juvenile Bluster

    UK to expel 23 Russian diplomats over spy poisoning

    The PM, who was earlier briefed by senior intelligence chiefs in Downing Street, added there was “no alternative conclusion other than that the Russian state was culpable” for the attack.

    She said it was “tragic” that Russian President Vladimir Putin had “chosen to act in this way”.

    1. Private Chipperbot

      Isn’t this the way that most cloak and dagger happens? If the USA found a double agent, wouldn’t he end up having an accident?

      1. R C Dean

        If he was a double agent from long ago and living in a foreign country, I dunno. Kind of doubt it.

        Its pretty apparent that our counterespionage folks are nothing if not lazy.

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        I don’t think it’s trying to kill the ex-spy so much but using nerve gas to do it, and using nerve gas in a public place, where employees of the Crown were injured as a result.

        1. grrizzly

          They should have used an old-school public-safety-first technology like a shot of ricin from an umbrella.

          1. Private Chipperbot

            Or a tourist helicopter ride.

          2. Juvenile Bluster

            Or polonium in tea, which they’ve done before in the UK (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_of_Alexander_Litvinenko)

        2. Chafed

          I think you are wrong. He was swapped in a prisoner exchange. Typically such former spies are out of the game and considered off limits on both sides. This assassination is a breach of the unwritten understanding.

          1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            Only because you could expect your host nation to protect you. Arguably this goes a long way to discourage Russian defectors and doubles while providing a strong incentive for current assets not to turn.

      3. EvilSheldon

        No.

      4. Scruffy Nerfherder

        No. Russia crossed a very visible line by offing someone who was traded for someone else, and they endangered a crapload of other people in the process.

        The UK needs to respond seriously.

        1. The Last American Hero

          So, they should Strenuously Object?

          1. SimonD

            All I can say is if I sold life insurance, I wouldn’t sell a policy to the person who was traded for this guy. I expect him to be found tits up very soon.

          2. R C Dean

            Pfft.

            “Unfortunate airplane accident. No survivors. Condolences to their families, etc.”

    2. Pan Zagloba

      As I posted yesterday, there’s Yes, (Prime) Minister clip for every occasion.

    3. thepasswordispassword

      Meanwhile in Russia

      1. Mad Scientist

        That table is so gaudy Trump is going to want one.

    4. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

      Wouldn’t it be better to simply poison 23 Russian diplomats? I think that might send a more clear message.

      1. Zunalter

        *slow clap*

  14. R C Dean

    Saw that Australia is looking at fast-track visas for South African whites, on account of the coming (ongoing?) ethnic cleansing there.

    What an opportunity for an epic Trump troll. Give a speech about how America has always been the haven for oppressed minorities, how we cannot and will not abide by genocide or ethnic cleansing, etc. etc. Get the open borders crowd panties all wet, and the veins bulging on the foreheads of the Build the Wall crowd, and then announce that the oppressed minority is Afrikaaners and we will be opening our refugee program to them. Sit back, pop some popcorn, and watch heads asplode all around.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      While I tire of the 47D backgammon attitude of Trump and his supporters, that would be hilarious. A+ would watch again.

    2. But not the Pinotages?

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Why would the heads explode?

      “White supremacist wants to bring in white supremacists while keeping brown bodies out” seems to me quite consistent with the leftist worldview.

      You’d just get them screaming “racist” all day, but the problem is, how will it be distinguished from everyday screaming of “racist”?

      1. We’d get to have the added bonus of them explicitly supporting genocide as an alternative I guess.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          It’s not genocide, it’s de-colonization!™

      2. R C Dean

        Why would the heads explode?

        The joke would be using very non-specific language that would get the “we need more Middle Eastern refugees” crowd all excited, and the “we don’t need no more shithole refugees” crowd all pissed, then pull the reverse on them at the very end.

        Maybe even stretch it out over two announcements, one that he is re-examining our refugee program with an eye toward opening it up to show good faith on a bigger immigration deal, something like that. Let that churn a news cycle or two, then deliver the punchline.

    4. Pope Jimbo

      Could we also locate them with all our other refugees in Little Mogadishu here in Minnesoda? That would be extra funny to put all our “African” immigrants together.

  15. I repost this in support of HM doing lynx (not that Jesse’s lynx are bad).

    A few repeats in here, but also a few of the all-time best busts.

    http://archive.is/lmuz5

    1, 2, 3, 4, 5(!!!), 11, 19, 22, 27, 35.

    What is the commentariat’s stance on visible boob veins? Under the right circumstances, I think they’re sexy.

    1. R C Dean

      As part of the whole package (firm, plump boobs, very pale skin like on a redhead), sure, why not. But if they are visible because she has been injecting heroin in her tits, I’ll pass.

      1. Not Adahn

        Mmmm. Heroin milk.

      2. Chafed

        Very wise RC.

    2. Gadfly

      I repost this in support of HM doing lynx (not that Jesse’s lynx are bad).

      HM should only be allowed to do links after the watershed, in order to preserve this site’s treasured family friendly rating.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      #12 because the dog is absolutely adorable and is a good sign she’s not a total psycho.

      #37 before someone tells me “Oh no, PZ, she’s eight years old!”

    4. DEG

      Orgy.

    5. This Machine

      33. 33, 33, 33.

      Also re: boob veins; I’m for ’em.

    6. Pope Jimbo

      #7 because that boat seems to have some great “accessories”

      1. Pope Jimbo

        If it gets rough, I guess you can sit on that table and not be thrown off.

  16. Derpetologist

    Germany: Court orders Volkswagen to rehire Islamic State recruiter who threatened employees with death
    https://www.jihadwatch.org/2018/03/germany-court-orders-volkswagen-to-rehire-islamic-state-recruiter-who-threatened-employees-with-death

    In other news, Merkel narrowly wins another term.

    1. Government is just another name for the suicide pact we all do together.

    2. R C Dean

      One would expect an auto manufacturing facility would present many opportunities for unfortunate accidents.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        It’s time to make a pact with the mob. The government is clearly not up to the task.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      I don’t know even know anymore.

      Lines are blurred.

    4. LJW

      Not sure if I should trust that source. Given the title of the website I suspect they may have a bias.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        It links to the Daily Mail and Express. So maybe not the strongest sourced but it’s a story.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          The stories in the Mail and Express are both written by the same guy and the linked bit “Germany” is just a link to DailyMail’s stories tagged about Germany.

          Yesterday’s Jihadwatch link had links to …jihadwatch which linked to Breitbart, back to jihadwatch and eventually to a 2015 report that the article was calling “the latest evidence.”

          1. Derpetologist

            Do you expect CNN or BBC to report on Muslim rape gangs? Do you expect them to ever say anything negative about Islam or Muslims?

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I expect “news” sites to not echo chamber themselves back and forth for THREE years over a single public document claiming it was a “recent report” just to stoke rage in their specific readership.

          3. Derpetologist

            Have you heard of the Trump/Russia collusion/meddling story?

          4. Derpetologist

            The point I’m trying to make is that echo chambers are the norm in the media and are irrelevant to whether the story is true or not.

            CNN almost never republishes stories from Campus Reform. Fox almost never republishes stories from Mother Jones.

            The CNN/MSNBC echo chamber- The Musical!

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lw2BVI9OhC4

          5. jesse.in.mb

            Are we talking about the story where the Republicans and Democrats in Congress keep taking turns to bring the story back in the limelight with memos, press conferences and other political theater?

            You don’t see a difference between that and jihad watch quoting the entirety of a Breitbart story that then refers to a “government report” which links back to an older Breitbart story…in *that* story is a link to “the latest report” which links tooooooo Breitbart. If you’re that insecure about your readership reading the primary source of your story, you are doing something untoward in your reporting.

            Also here’s the Casey Report to which they’re referring. It’s heart-breaking, the crimes were brutal and pervasive and the confluence of events and political and social climates that lead to the scenario is absolutely fascinating. Breitbart and Jihad watch do a disservice to their readers by trying to distill it down to “Remember to hate some muzzies today!”

          6. Derpetologist

            JihadWatch should have linked directly to that report. I will attribute this fault to laziness rather than malevolence.

            The real story which is being ignored in much of the media is the way UK, French, and German authorities have been stifling criticism of Islam.

          7. jesse.in.mb

            Yeesh. I should hit refresh before posting when I have to wander away from my desk mid-thought. The catty comment was just to the Trump/Russia one…I get what you’re saying, but echo chamber or not some sites are more manipulative with the way they present facts than others. If I read an article and the author is telling me there’s a publicly available government report, and they don’t include it over multiple layers of self-referencing. that site is unreliable. Full stop.

          8. Chipwooder

            Jesse’s last point is the key bit – eschewing primary sources makes me not want to believe what they’re saying, particularly when what they do cite is just a repetitive loop between two unreliable sources. You have a primary source, link it!

          9. Rufus the Monocled

            You both make fair points. Thanks for that link to the Rotherham report, Jesse.

          10. Not Adahn

            Jesse’s last point is the key bit – eschewing primary sources makes me not want to believe what they’re saying,

            Enjoy that attitude while you can. Wikipedia is teaching the entire planet that primary sources are bupkis, and what matters is what “reliable” secondary sources say about primary sources.

      1. robc

        Drama is a decent album, even if it isn’t really Yes. It was formed from The Buggles and the remnants of Yes after Anderson left. After Drama, Yes broke up again and Howe went to form Asia.

    1. Sean

      Fuck all that social signalling. Fuck their attempts at gun control. Just fuck them.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Do people still watch Mtv? What’s on that I want to watch?

        1. I haven’t watched it in at least 15 years. Everything I hear about it nowadays is that it’s an insufferable proggy cesspool. Let the cord cutting continue apace!

          1. NoDakMat

            This is great news! We are ditching the Dish in a couple of weeks, anyway. Now I have my very own cause to social signal about!

          2. I don’t even own a TV. and I don’t use ad blocker.

          3. JaimeRoberto

            We dumped Dish for a Roku about 6 months ago and we haven’t regretted it. And we are saving about $500/year.

        2. Sean

          I don’t care about MTV, I’m annoyed at Comedy Central because now they’re on my boycott list. I’m *really* sick of the fascist gun grabbers.

          1. I wonder if South Park will do an episode on the incident.

        3. Bobarian LMD

          Comedy Central has become unbearable.

          South Park is the only thing that hasn’t gone completely around the bend.

      2. Gustave Lytton

        It’s scary that companies no longer feel restrained from wading into cultural wars and flat out do not care that they offend wide swathes of their customers and potential customers.

        1. Sean

          ^^^^^^^ So much this. My boycott list keeps getting longer.

        2. They’re not gonna like the new rules they’ve created.

        3. Mad Scientist

          Profit is evil, therefore worrying about profit is evil. Using your shareholders’ money to force your enlightened opinions down unenlightened throats is good.

    2. Semi-Spartan Dad

      When I called about internet difficulties, Comcast agent tried his best to get me to sign back up for tv service. Offered me 12 months of some tv package + internet at the same price I pay now for just internet (to go up of course after 12 months). I told him that I wouldn’t take cable tv if they paid me.

      Some of these channels will survive the cord-cutting foundational change that’s coming, but I look forward to the demise of most of these once they stop being propped up by bundled packages.

    3. B.P.

      I won’t be satisfied that they’re down for the cause until they suspend programming indefinitely.

    4. Florida Man

      This should stop all that cord cutting…

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    “Saudi Arabia is stepping into the 20th Century”

    Well played. lol.

    1. Not Adahn

      “Misty Velvet Dawn Spann”

      You’ve got to be high-class to have four names.

  18. Derpetologist

    An interesting and controversial take:
    http://prospect.org/article/abolish-air-force

    tl;dr gist: USAF exists for strategic bombing, which has had lackluster results in every war. If it takes 78 days of bombing to defeat a small country like Serbia, air power is not all it’s cracked up to be. Politicians like air power because it provides the illusion of quick and bloodless victories.

    1. As long as we continue to maintain some kind of air superiority in the other branches, I’d be ok with it. However, the USAF’s space role would have to also be picked up somewhere else.

      1. I thought that’s what NASA was for.

        1. That’s like #4 on their list after:

          -Cronyism
          -Wokitude
          -Writing long-winded proposals for things that will never get funded

        2. Number.6

          It’s what NASSA was for …. (Not PC)

    2. Sour Kraut

      Fat Man and Little Boy would like a word with you.

    3. Bobarian LMD

      USAF exists for strategic bombing,

      Their actual most important role is actually in logistics; except for Close Air Support, everything else they do could be done more effectively by drones.

      And CAS could be done more effectively by the supported services.

      1. Derpetologist

        Yeah, but for the USAF, their most important role is air superiority. Hence the F35.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          How else are you gonna go around with a silk scarf and a pompous attitude?

          1. Derpetologist
        2. thepasswordispassword

          Air superiority isn’t strategic bombing. If you control the air space you can let friendly ground forces roam freely without worrying about airstrikes. Although the bomber doctrine seemed to do alright in Iraq the first.

          1. The air superiority bit did well, too. By about Day Two the remaining Iraqi Air Force pilots were looking at their aircraft and seeing coffins.

      2. The Last American Hero

        Pffft. Is a drone ever going to play in a homoerotic shirtless volleyball game?

        And who’s going to kick the tires and light the fires? A drone? I think not.

        Oh wait, the Navy can still do that shit.

        Fuck the AF.

        1. thepasswordispassword

          And produce such wonderful naval aviators as John McCain as opposed to that shit head John Boyd.

  19. This afternoon I was driving and caught part of the call-in segment for the NPR show On Point. The topic was “Border Walls And Protests Greet Trump On First Visit To California.” I started listening to this caller that begins at 32:55, and I just burst out laughing hysterically in my car. Unfiltered raw pure derp from Wisconsin. I couldn’t handle it, it was like a parody caller from Vice City’s VCPR “Pressing Issues”. I need to listen again. So fucking good.

    link to the audio file

    1. THEY MILK THE COWS 365 DAYS A YEAR DAMMIT

      1. It’s funny how the illegal immigrants somehow are illegal immigrants, yet are apparently paying Social Security taxes according to this guy. I guess that is probably technically true if they still somebody’s identity which is a felony.

        1. *stole someone’s identity

      2. The part about taxation without representation thrown in at the end before the host cut him off was pretty epic too. A+

    1. Derpetologist
      1. Bobarian LMD

        The K2 linked in that article is really the best of both worlds.

        It is basically an M16 that uses the AK-47 gas piston system.

        1. thepasswordispassword

          The SIG 540 was like that too. They made it better with the 550. Shame the SIG USA had terrible QA and stopped importing/mutilating the civilian copies.

          Platforms designed from the start to use pistons (instead of hacked in later) but have the nice control setup of the AR platform are a treat.

          1. {|}===[|}:;:;:;:;:;:;:>

            SCAR 17 and SCAR 16

  20. Drake

    Another win for the FBI.
    FBI Was Monitoring Florida Muslim Teen Who Stabbed Boy to Death in Name of Islam, Did Nothing to Stop Him for a Year

    Who the hell invites the jihad kid to a sleepover?

    I don’t really blame the FBI. When I was a youngster, this kid would have been in reform school or a mental hospital where he couldn’t get all stabby.

    1. Chipwooder

      When your previously non-Muslim buddy starts punctuating his comments with inshallah, that’s nature’s way of saying “Keep your fucking distance!”

  21. Rufus the Monocled

    Is it me or is this guy’s (a former AA CEO) take about the puppy dying on a United flight a little off?

    https://www.cnbc.com/video/2018/03/14/former-american-airlines-ceo-on-uniteds-dog-incident.html

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Wrong word. I meant his tone.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      No, but I like Bob Crandall’s blunt style.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Favorite quote

        “I’ve never invested in any airline. I’m an airline manager. I don’t invest in airlines. And I always said to the employees of American, ‘This is not an appropriate investment. It’s a great place to work and it’s a great company that does important work. But airlines are not an investment.’” Crandall noted that since the airline deregulation of the 1970s, some 150 airlines had gone out of business. “A lot of people came into the airline business. Most of them promptly exited, minus their money,”

        I doubt many CEOs would be as honest about their own business.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Yeh and he’s not holding punched on customer demands. Seems to me he thinks they’re unrealistic.

        2. JaimeRoberto

          Beyond that, if you want a truly diversified portfolio, you really shouldn’t keep much stock in the company where you work. If the company goes down the toilet the stock goes down and you lose your job too. Celebrate diversified portfolios.

          1. The Last American Hero

            ^This x a million.

            When Enron went down, a ton of people lost their job and all of their retirement savings. Your employer already presents a significant concentration of risk in your financial picture. Do not invest anything in them that you wouldn’t be willing to lose.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            Soooo, physical silver?

  22. Derpetologist

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_of_Saudi_Arabia

    ***
    As of 2004 approximately half of the broadcast airtime of Saudi state television was devoted to religious issues.[17] 90% of books published in the kingdom were on religious subjects, and most of the doctorates awarded by its universities were in Islamic studies. [18] In the state school system, about half of the material taught is religious. In contrast, assigned readings over twelve years of primary and secondary schooling devoted to covering the history, literature, and cultures of the non-Muslim world comes to a total of about 40 pages. [17]

    “Fierce religious resistance” had to be overcome to permit such innovations as paper money (in 1951), female education (1964), and television (1965) and the abolition of slavery (1962).[6]

    In legal compensation court cases (Diyya) non-Muslim are awarded less than Muslims.[30] Atheists are legally designated as terrorists.[35] Saudis or foreign residents who call “into question the fundamentals of the Islamic religion on which this country is based” may be subject to as much as 20 years in prison.[36]

    Employment does not play the same part in native Saudi society as in some others. With enormous petroleum export earnings beginning in the mid-1970s the Saudi economy was not dependent on income from productive employment. Economists “estimate only 30-40 percent” of working-age Saudis “hold jobs or actively seek work,”[48] and most employed Saudis have less-than-demanding jobs with the government.[49] [50] As of 2008, 90% of those employed in the private sector were foreigners,[51] and several decades long efforts to replace significant numbers of them with Saudis have been less than successful.

    Saudi is one of ten countries where homosexuality is punishable by death (the punishment of stoning to death may be applied to married men who’ve engaged in homosexual acts or any non-Muslim married or unmarried who commits sexual acts with a Muslim,[85]) as well as fines, flogging, prison time, on first offense.
    ***

    1. “With enormous petroleum export earnings beginning in the mid-1970s the Saudi economy was not dependent on income from productive employment.”

      Boy, that country is gonna suck even worse than it already does once their oil economy starts drying up.

      1. B.P.

        Trust fund kids. An entire nation of Spalding Smails.

    2. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      But America is the evil patriarchy that needs to be burned to the ground for the sake of womens’ rights…

      1. Hyperion

        Absolutely, because women have never been as oppressed as what they are in today’s Western cultures. Look how much better women are treated in the rest of the world, and I mean they’ve never had it so bad.

  23. Private Chipperbot

    Me Too snags Katy Perry

    When Benjamin Glaze, at the time a 19-year-old cashier from Enid, Okla., auditioned for “American Idol,” he had hoped his big moment would come as he belted out “Stadium,” a song he wrote himself. That or Nick Jonas’s 2015 single “Levels.”

    Instead, it came when the popstar Katy Perry, a judge on the show, surprised him by kissing him smack on the lips, moments before his audition. He had never been kissed before.

    “I was a tad bit uncomfortable,” Mr. Glaze said by phone this week, after the incident aired on the season premiere. His first kiss was a rite of passage he had been putting off with consideration. “I wanted to save it for my first relationship,” he said. “I wanted it to be special.”

    1. Hyperion

      “He had never been kissed before.”

      Aww, poor virgin. Can someone please take away the soy latte from that poor kid.

        1. Drake

          Woops

        2. R C Dean

          Just saw that and came to post it.

    2. Dood, shut up and grab dem titties.

      1. Hyperion

        I’m afraid that titties would put him in an awful crisis of fright. You trying to kill him? Heaven forbid he ever actually sees a vagina.

      2. Ed Wuncler

        +1233433433

    3. Ed Wuncler

      I’m doing my best to not laugh at this guy but shit man, 19 year old Ed would have relished that kiss from Katy Perry.

      1. Brett L

        The visible erection might have been uncomfortable in that setting.

        1. Ed Wuncler

          I would have had to ask to sit down for a couple of minutes or walk to the stage with a book in front of my crouch.

        2. Bobarian LMD

          If I still been a virgin in that situation, the stain would have been more embarrassing than the teepee.

      2. Drake

        If I was 19 and hadn’t had so much as a kiss…? I sure wouldn’t be holding out for some magical moment.

        1. Hyperion

          I mean, in this age of neo-puritanism, I don’t know, but there’s no way in hell any 19 year old guy would have ever admitted to being a virgin when I was 19. And there’s no way she could have kissed me enough and hopefully would have invited me back to her place to rape me all night.

    4. Bobarian LMD

      “I wanted to save it for my first relationship,” he said. “I wanted it to be special a dude.”

      NTTAWWT, but come on!

    5. Mad Scientist

      “I wanted to save it for my first relationship,” he said. “I wanted it to be special.”

      Well, you’ll never forget it, so boom, it’s special.

    6. grrizzly

      “I wanted it to be special.”
      That’s why you need to practice first.

    7. AlmightyJB

      I hearby give Katy Perry permission to do any sex stuff she wants to me.

      1. You had better hope she isn’t a devotee of HM, “sex stuff” covers some very shady ground.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I just want my turn:)

    8. The Last American Hero

      If Lionel Richie had planted his lips on some 19 year old chick, the internet may have reacted a bit differently.

    9. SimonD

      I can see him being upset, if not understand the stated reason. 19-year old me would have been thoroughly distracted by her, and wouldn’t have been able to focus on my audition. My singing would have ended up on the gag reel (yeah, phrasing). In the short term, I’d have been pissed off, although he’ll have a great story to tell his kids in 20 years.

  24. Derpetologist

    larf!

    Trump quotes as an early 2000s emo song
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCAbBnWm4LM

  25. Gadfly

    …my coworkers have been gently brought back under my control except the one doctor that grokked I was just trying to get them all fat.

    I bet Zardoz has a solution for your problem.

  26. Gilmore

    National Walkout Day: flying solo edition

    the real punchline for me is the CNN guy going “we are so proud of you can we use this video” etc. and the 100K people who are like YOU GO BOY.

    he’s literally sitting alone in a parking lot. for 15 minutes. #SuckItRosaParks

    1. Gilmore

      Seriously yo, Ghandi was a pussy.

      1. Ed Wuncler

        Ghandi wasn’t woke enough.

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Geez, Gil. He’s 16. Give him a break, yo.

      Any tweets saying something like, “I’m alone because people around me are stupid!”

      1. Gilmore

        first off, its not really him i’m laughing at.

        its the 100s of 1000s of people falling over themselves for praising his moral courage and telling him he’s changing the world.

        1. Mad Scientist

          That’s just their way of handing him a participation trophy. Whether he accomplishes something, or nothing at all, they’ve taken away his ability to tell the difference. I am amazed that the left continues to encourage their advocates to the be this ineffective.

        2. Chipwooder

          Correct. He’s just a kid who’s being used as a political pawn by some insidious motherfuckers.

        3. Rufus the Monocled

          That’s par for the course this ‘virtue signalling enabling’. It’s what they do best.

          Instead, the kid should be in school. If I’m his father and see this I’m going to that parking lot and fetching him.

          Kid: Ooo look. He comes someone!

          /Looks closer.

          Kid: Shit, it’s my father!

          /Runs.

      2. Gilmore

        I was tempted to tweet, “Justin, the protest is in front of the school where are you i hope you’re not selling weed in the parking lot again”

    3. His latest post, he’s just begging for the ‘ Ask Zardoz’ treatment.

      1. Rope Snake

        This made me laugh. What a stud.

  27. Gadfly

    …and even said he would prefer a firing squad to prison

    Well there you go: he had to leave the ICC since they wouldn’t cater to his preference, as they don’t do firing squads but do like prison. Perhaps he would be willing to submit to the courts of Utah, as they could accommodate his preference.

  28. Just Say’n

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DYRtjMYX4AIml2X.jpg

    ‘Libertarian’ Party seems to endorse gun control. They sold out on religious liberty HARD, why wouldn’t they sell out on guns?

    1. Hyperion

      They’re dead to me. Not that it’s a recent thing.

      1. Just Say’n

        Question: “What does the Libertarian Party stand for?”

        Answer: “Whatever the Left insists that they believe in that particular week”

        1. Just Say’n

          I think I’ve figured out what the purpose of the ‘Libertarian’ Party is at this point: to comfort you about voting Republican. Yeah, no one wants to vote for Republicans, but the ‘Libertarian’ Party is here to remind you that there is no alternative. All your other options are worse

    2. Mad Scientist

      I don’t see how students (who can’t vote) joining the LP will hit politicians “in the votes.”

    3. AlmightyJB

      They should promise them free video games.

    4. Wow lame

    5. Just Say’n

      https://twitter.com/LPNational/status/973952192708308993

      This thread sums up how the ‘Libertarian’ Party is just Clintonian neoliberalism now.

      1. Just Say’n

        It should surprise no one to learn that Nick Sarwark re-tweeted this. Makes Gillespie look like an agorist

      2. It’s all about the impressions, duh. I mean obviously you can give those Impressions, get people hooked, have them follow your Twitter, ???? , then instant libertarian!

      3. SimonD

        I’m thoroughly tempted to actually make my first tweet ever in response to that.

        It would be something along the lines of ‘Doing what the entire elite society demands isn’t protest, it’s being a useful idiot.’

      4. Chipwooder

        Pathetic, absolutely pathetic.

    6. Bobarian LMD

      …since it hits them in the tends to waste your votes

      FIFT

    7. Gilmore

      i thought that was maybe a fake-account

      nope

      https://twitter.com/LPNational/status/973952192708308993

    8. wdalasio

      Christ Almighty.

      At a certain point, what’s the point. I mean for awhile a lot of Libertarians were criticizing Austin Petersen for not taking the NAP pledge. But, when that pledge still lets you have free reign to support people looking to do away with our fundamental rights and liberties, what the hell is that pledge even worth?

    9. Suthenboy

      Totally not closet proggies

  29. Pan Zagloba

    “Campaign from the Left, rule from the Right” is apparently migrating from federal Liberals down to BC Commies. Fine by me!

    Basic income pilot not coming to B.C. until at least 2020, despite Green-NDP pledge

    People hoping the B.C. government will quickly fulfil a pledge to launch a pilot program for guaranteed income will be waiting awhile.

    Shane Simpson, the minister of social development and poverty reduction, said the province has allocated $4 million over the next two years to study the issue but won’t be implementing a direct program over that time.

    “I’m hoping that we’ll be able to announce something very shortly that will give us an opportunity to look at how the basic income would look in B.C., and to look at how it might affect income support programs in B.C. going forward,” he said.

    “We won’t implement the policy that was part of our coalition agreement until at least after next election, when we probably won’t need the coalition” is absolutely wonderful.
    And, of course, Greens are just sitting there and taking it because what are they going to do – bring down the government and lose seats over it?

    Both Weaver and Simpson said they were looking forward to receiving information from the Ontario government, which is currently in the middle of its basic income pilot.

    There, 4,000 people are taking part in the three-year, $50 million pilot, which is providing $17,000 a year to individuals who are either unemployed or make less than $34,000 annually.

    Yes, let Ontario spend $50 million on a project. I’d rather our province spend $4 million not running the project (not spend money not running the project? come on, it was NDP, not Somalian AK-47/NOROADS Alliance that won).

  30. Derpetologist

    Nation of Islam lashes out at 3 black members of Congress, calling them sellouts for denouncing Farrakhan
    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/03/14/nation-islam-lashes-out-at-3-black-members-congress-calling-them-sellouts-for-denouncing-farrakhan.html

    ***
    The Nation of Islam is lashing out at three black members of Congress who have denounced its leader, Louis Farrakhan, for making anti-Semitic and anti-white remarks in a recent speech.

    In an open letter on the group’s website, Representatives Gregory Meeks, Barbara Lee and Danny Davis, who have disavowed Farrakan’s anti-Semitic and racist rhetoric, are accused of being sellouts to Farrakhan’s critics — derided as “Satanic Jews” — and the Nation of Islam leader is compared to Jesus Christ.

    “Remember, it was the same Satanic Jews of yesterday that conspired against Jesus and had him killed by the ruling authority of the Roman Empire,” the letter reads. “They hated Jesus because he told the truth. Jesus was ridiculed, falsely charged, lied on, evil spoken of and called a hater and a bigot.”

    On Wednesday afternoon, Farrakhan pushed the same message, tweeting: “Why do the Jews hate me with so much passion? Because Jesus, my brother, who was their last prophet, was 2,000 years too soon. I am on time.”
    ***

    [head desk]

    1. Hyperion

      Sometimes I actually forget that lefties and Islamists think they own blacks. And then they remind me again.

      1. Drake

        160 years ago, they did own them.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          Was the emancipation proclamation ever ratified by the Democratic Party?

          1. Hyperion

            How many Islamists voted for it?

    2. Don

      Farrakhan is certifiable.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      Say what you will about Louis, that was totally an Alpha move.

      Trump can learn from him.

    4. IntraveneousWoodChipper

      I did get a kick out of the image of a Roman centurion telling Jesus he was a “hater”. So there was that. Dude is batshit insane though.

    5. Pope Jimbo

      Poor Brother Keith Ellison!

      How come he didn’t get singled out too? Oh yea, because he doesn’t actually denounce Farrakhan. Any time he gets asked about that, he turns the question around and blasts any critics of his.

  31. Gilmore

    YouTube tries to crack down on conspiracy videos
    NEW YORK (AP) — YouTube says it’s cracking down on conspiracy videos, though it’s scant on the details.

    Conspiracy videos abound on YouTube, whether it’s about the Earth being flat or school shootings being staged. YouTube, its parent Google, Facebook and Twitter are all facing challenges…

    Really, what will undermine people’s penchant for believing that shadowy networks are manipulating reality better than… big corporations censoring individual media while pumping propaganda horseshit like The Young Turks…? (scratches head) It sounded better in the board-room meeting, honestly.

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      This going to be interesting.

      And not in a good way.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I like SecureTeam 10

  32. Rufus the Monocled

    Socialist teenager uses puerile phrase ‘unbridled capitalism’ in defense of Maduro. Also….so punchable.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t89vZ1A1W3g

    1. Gilmore

      pretty sure that kid has been on Fox before, praising some other aspect of lefty-thought.

      maybe it was The Independents.

      Can’t forget a face that smug.

    2. Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

      Did he eat Michael Cera, and take on his form, or something?

      Also….so punchable.

      Holy shit, that’s almost an understatement.

      /mumbles to self, “remember the NAP. Remember the NAP…”

  33. Don

    What kind of walk out was this national thing? More like a walk in. A walk out is an unsanctioned action. Noting particularly brave,

    1. Derpetologist

      You don’t understand. Up until today, high school students almost never missed school, especially high school seniors in the spring.

      1. Don

        Oh yes. I was always in class first day of pheasant season.

  34. Derpetologist

    Fox News surprised me with these Hawking quotes:

    “We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the universe. That makes us something very special.”

    “I believe the simplest explanation is, there is no God. No one created the universe and no one directs our fate. This leads me to a profound realization that there probably is no heaven and no afterlife either. We have this one life to appreciate the grand design of the universe and for that, I am extremely grateful.”

    http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/03/14/quotations-from-stephen-hawking.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

    1. AlmightyJB

      “advanced”?

      Well some are.

  35. Derpetologist

    shocker of shockers

    Openly atheist Dem trumped by Republican landslide in special election in Tennessee
    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/03/14/openly-atheist-dem-trumped-by-republican-landslide-in-special-election-in-tennessee.html

    ***
    Jordan is executive director of Recovering from Religion, a group that supports people who wish to leave their faith behind. She is a former Southern Baptist who left the denomination 10 years ago “when her then-teenagers began asking questions she could not answer.”

    Reeves, a Murfreesboro-based businessman, made Jordan’s open atheism an issue in the election, telling the Tennessean that her “views are radical” and “out of touch with the district.”

    He argued that Jordan was unsuited for the state Senate because faith shapes one’s worldview and affects the decisions one makes.

    “I’m a Christian and that is going to serve as a filter, serve as a moral compass and how I look at things, if I’m fortunate to get elected,” Reeves said, adding that many people with whom he had spoken could not believe the Democratic candidate is an atheist.
    ***

    I hadn’t heard the phrase “openly atheist” before.

    1. wdalasio

      The GOP better hope the Dem slate looks like this lady in 2018.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        The amazing thing is that despite all that she still overperformed (slightly) the 2016 Presidential Election results in the district.

        1. Derpetologist

          Yeah, I got a link for that too:

          Hillary Clinton criticized by fellow Dems for trashing female Trump voters
          http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2018/03/14/hillary-clinton-criticized-by-fellow-dems-for-trashing-female-trump-voters.html

          ***
          Clinton’s former 2008 presidential campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle didn’t defend her remarks.

          “Look this was bad. I can’t sugarcoat it,” Solis Doyle said on HLN this week. “She was wrong and clearly it’s not helpful to Democrats going into the midterms and certainly not going into 2020.”

          Solis Doyle added: “She’s put herself in a position where Democrats are going to have to distance themselves from these remarks and distance themselves from her, particularly those Democrats that are running in the states that Donald Trump won.”
          ***

          1. commodious spittoon

            Once again: I think her hatred for her own party far outweighs her contempt for the GOP. I think what we’re seeing her is a drunk, doesn’t-give-a-shit Clinton making life difficult for the people who failed to crown her empress.

    2. Hyperion

      Hey, you, deplorable! You best shutup! Special elections are only news when Democrats win! Hate speech, someone ban this guy!

  36. AlmightyJB

    Are the Saudis running out of car bombers?

    1. Mad Scientist

      Making new car bombers are what women are for.

      1. Hyperion

        Hey, look, only your bigoted white privilege would make you think they’re only for making sammiches. Blowing yourself up, not just for men!

  37. Drake

    Belicheck’s petty, vindictive, asshole moves cost the Patriots the Superbowl. Apparently it cost him the locker-room too – now the veterans are heading for the exits. No more hometown discounts now that his assholerly lost them a championship.

    Malcolm Bulter – benched for unknown reasons minutes before the Superbowl – is going to the Titans for five-year, $61 million pact with at least $30 million guaranteed.

    Dion Lewis also going to the Titans for 4 years worth up to $23.4 million.

    Nate Solder to sign four-year, $62 million contract with Giants.

    Danny Amendola going to the Dolphins for 2 years $12 million.

    1. Hyperion

      Sometimes you get too big for your own britches. That’s what they said when I was a kid.

      1. commodious spittoon

        Ooooh… britches.

        Um, I’ve got some women I need to talk to.

    2. The Last American Hero

      Wanna bet NE’s in the AFC Championship next year?

      1. Hyperion

        I wouldn’t bet against it. White privilege is always hard to overcome.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        lol. Probably.

    3. Rufus the Monocled

      Butler likely wouldn’t have been the difference I reckon.

      1. Grumbletarian

        Uh, the Patriot defense allowed 41 points with Butler watching. I have a hard time thinking the Eagles would have scored that much or more with him on the field.

        1. Drake

          New Governor of New Jersey:

          “Did I forget to mention that I’m raising the sales tax? You probably guessed it. I’m going to ‘invest’ the revenue. It will be awesome.”

      2. MikeS

        I read that as butter and got very confused

  38. Juvenile Bluster

    The always great DPRK News twitter account announced (and then quickly deleted, which is what they do) that on April Fool’s Day they’re going to be tweeting about the real horrors and terrors that are the Kim dynasty and the DPRK. They’ll go back to “normal” on April 2.

  39. Derpetologist

    larf

    Trump tweets, read by the Joker (Mark Hamill)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLS2D_UREQE

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      larf

    2. The Last American Hero

      I was given to believe the proper way to read Trump Tweets was loudly, in German, preferably while pounding a podium.

      #resistance

  40. Yusef drives a Kia

    Milton Friedman – The Great Depression Myth
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgyQsIGLt_w

  41. Hyperion

    Well, this one is out of the club. Wonder how long before the quivering apologies?

    Shaq out of club for wrong think

    1. AlmightyJB

      I think right or wrong Shaq has typically thought for himself.

      1. Hyperion

        Exactly. Thinking on your own is wrong think, he’s out.

    2. The Last American Hero

      It’s no surprise:

      1) Being a deputized agent of the law himself, of course he wants more cops.
      2) Being the inventor of Shaq-Fu, he could care less if an opponent has a gun or not.

      1. Hyperion

        1. As long as public school exists, I am 100% in favor of armed defense of those schools. I do, however, disagree with Trump that it should be teachers, it should be professional security. This will 100% neutralize the left’s call for gun control as an answer, because you know, that won’t work and shit. 2nd part of number 1, public school cannot die a quick enough death.

        2. Shaq is a really big target, I don’t see any logic for that statement.

        1. Chafed

          Doing Shaq-fu allows him to dodge bullets.

  42. AlmightyJB

    How much did the IRS spend to recoup the 25k a year over 4 years they “lost”.

    http://nbc4i.com/2018/03/14/columbus-tax-preparer-indicted-for-preparing-false-income-tax-returns/

    1. Hyperion

      Doesn’t matter, some peasants need to be made an example of for mocking the King’s men.

    2. Derpetologist

      In the 1040 instruction booklet, there’s a bit about how IRS owes it to those who pay their taxes in full and on time to vigorously pursue those who don’t. That always seemed like faulty logic to me. If it costs more to collect the taxes then the taxes are worth, what’s the point?

      related:

      http://www.ehs.org.uk/press/an-efficient-tax-system-laid-the-foundations-of-the-british-empire

      ***
      If the lessons of the power struggle between Spain and Britain are anything to go by, there may be a silver lining to current debt troubles in the EU. Were they to lead to a more uniform, centralised, effective tax system in countries such as Greece, they may actually turn out to be good for growth in the medium to long run.

      There is a second important parallel with today’s situation. A close look at Spain’s famous ‘defaults’ in the 16th and 17th century shows that they did little damage. Often blamed as a key reason for economic and military decline, joint work by Professor Voth and Mauricio Drelichman of the University of British Columbia shows that payment stops and negotiations were surprisingly harmless.

      As a matter of fact, Spain – after halting all payments to creditors in 1575 – could borrow from the same bankers, and on the same terms, within two years. This suggests that lenders to high-risk countries anticipated that something could go wrong. When it did, there was no penalty. If the lending business is profitable overall, there is nothing catastrophic about having to sit down and renegotiate, says Professor Voth.

      Remarkably, renegotiating in the days of email, fax and jet travel is slower than it was in the days of the sailboat and of messengers on horseback – renegotiations in the 16th century could be concluded in less than two years, while they often take five years or more today.
      ***

      larf

    3. Gilmore

      “…the old myth of divine intervention. You blasphemed, and a lightning bolt struck you. That was a little steep too. If punishment is at all proportionate to the offense, then power becomes watered. The only way you generate the proper attitude of awe and obedience is through immense and disproportionate power.”
      ― Norman Mailer, The Naked and the Dead

  43. Winston

    So BIg Business is increasingly openly leftist. Won’t help the free-market right very much. How long until the populists go back to nationalizing certain Big Businesses?

    1. Hyperion

      They’ll quickly back off that when their asses start to go broke.

      1. SimonD

        That’s what the bureaucracy is for….to hamstring anyone who would compete with them, so they can virtue signal AND get rich (well, richer).

  44. Winston

    So at this rate the Republicans will end up more libertarian than the LP. I honestly did not see that coming.

    1. Hyperion

      That’s already been going on for a while, and I have always been a fan of the Paul school of libertarianism. We don’t need a party, we need to take one over, the same as the left took over the Democrats. Then let the final mortal battle begin.

    2. Winston

      And to be honest the jump from “pragmatist” to “Clintonian neoliberal” isn’t really that far.

    3. kbolino

      Some Republicans, anyway. The LP has gone a long way from Badnarik and not in the right direction.

  45. thepasswordispassword

    For some reason this was in a list of linked videos. Mendacious as fuck. I blame derpetologist.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxwPcUh97oc

    1. Hyperion

      “And all of the sudden, everyone was was getting clawed in the face”.

      Sure there was.

    2. thepasswordispassword

      It really does speak to the gun animism the left holds. Those evil guns suddenly out of nowhere doing evil things.

    3. Derpetologist

      Once you start down the derp path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

    4. Derpetologist

      If you want to watch more videos that are infuriatingly stupid, I have many, many suggestions:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy4QjmKzF1c

  46. Derpetologist

    Has this made the rounds yet?

    High school teacher accidentally fires gun in classroom, injures student: police
    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/03/14/high-school-teacher-accidentally-fires-gun-in-classroom-injures-student-police.html

    ***
    A high school teacher in Northern California accidentally fired a gun inside a classroom Tuesday afternoon and injured at least one student.

    The Mercury News reported that Dennis Alexander, a reserve police officer for Sand City, had been providing safety instructions at Seaside High School when he accidentally fired a single shot from a semi-automatic handgun into the ceiling, police said.

    A student was hit in the neck by debris after the bullet ricocheted off the ceiling, but was not seriously injured, police said.
    ***

    1. Pan Zagloba

      a reserve police officer for Sand City

      TOP. MEN.

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Yes, but usually leaving off the part about being a popo, in a bid to torpedo allowing ordinary teachers to carry.

      Speaking of guns in schools by popo…

      https://youtu.be/WzHEOSyMqug

      Always a laugh.

  47. Gilmore

    this counts as the most disturbing thing i’ve seen all day

    https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/973977448772722689

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      She’s Done…

      1. Suthenboy

        She was acquitted at trial

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          That’s just Wrong,

    2. Hyperion

      Was she having a particularly bad bout of PMS or something? Then I guess it’s alright, because otherwise, that’s murder.

    3. Gilmore

      I don’t know the whole context, but what i gathered from the comments: the guy with the muscles was being told that he was going back to jail. he didn’t like the news and wanted to leave. her son (the smaller guy) has cuffs and is like “come on bro lets go”, and muscles is like “hell naw” and decides to leave via the window (the door, where he seems to try to leave first, is locked)

      as he’s trying to leave via the window, the lady bail bondsman gets her gun out of the drawer (which he never touched and apparently never knew it was there) and shoots him in the back and kills him.

      1. Gilmore

        although i will say this:

        if i’m in a meeting with someone, and they take their shoes off, and then a sock off, and they start picking their feet?

        i may not shoot them, but i’d certainly tell them = stop that shit, or else i’ll shoot them.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          It’s the warning that makes it a good kill.

          1. Gilmore

            (looks again)

            she didn’t…. i guess that’s your point.

            I didn’t actually listen to the audio before. I was working.

            i confess: the guy going, “ow! holy shit” after getting shot makes it sound like a comedy film.

            the bit with the kid sobbing “you shot him!” and the mother being all like, “yes i did” (in a voice i recognize as ‘pissed off woman rationalizing this as all men’s fault anyway’) makes it sound like a tragedy again.

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I wasn’t referencing the video: “i may not shoot them, but i’d certainly tell them = stop that shit, or else i’ll shoot them.”

            I didn’t have the audio on. From just the video she seemed almost…bored while the whole thing was going on. It was disconcerting.

          3. Gilmore

            yeah, i only got your joke after hitting ‘submit’

            there is something horrifying and disturbing about the banality and ‘matter of factness’ of someone’s life being taken

            it aint like the movies

          4. Gilmore

            A thought: I wonder if female bail bondsmanpeople have a surprisingly high retention rate …

            (or whatever the ‘industry’ of bail-bonding uses as a statistic to track how well the bonded perps comply with the requirements of their bail)

            …compared to their male-peers, because its one of those counter-intuitive things, where men tend to find it easier to disagree with other men, but not older women. not saying they would cow ever single person, but that many end up going, “aw shit ok” in situations where with some male, they’d be like, “Fuck you make me”

            i think you could probably learn same sort of thing with female prison guards. are prisoners ultimately more compliant; or at least less hostile in many circumstances? i imagine there is some truth to some of this. that the prisoners comply, mainly because they know if they fucked with the lady too-much, the replacement would be some dick dude who was much worse. its not that they are cowed by the women, but they end up rationalizing their compliance as in their own self-interests.

            much like marriage!

    4. straffinrun

      “Bail bondsman.” That’s Bail bondsmurderousbitch, you shitlord.

  48. Yusef drives a Kia

    OK Lauren Southern is pretty but her teeth are fucked up, still would,
    The situation in Sud Africa is looking Grim..
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZ7o1cxqBPU

    1. DEG

      Yeah. South Africa is fucked. They’re going full Zimbabwe.

  49. R C Dean

    SEC accuses Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes of ‘massive fraud’

    I actually met her at a big Chamber of Commerce type event back when she was riding high. Before you say “would”, remember “never stick it in crazy”, and my impression of her was “something ain’t right here”. The pic gives a taste of the crazy vibe I was getting from her. Makes me wonder if “never invest in crazy” might not be a good corollary.

    Holmes — a Steve Jobs wannabe who dressed exclusively in black turtlenecks as she talked up her blood-testing unicorn, which at one point boasted a valuation north of $9 billion — settled with the regulators for $500,000 while neither admitting nor denying the accusations.

    Holmes additionally agreed to not be a director or officer of a public company for 10 years, and to forgo profiting from Theranos ownership until $750 million is returned to investors, according to the consent order with the SEC.

    The settlement seems kinda soft, but I couldn’t say if its unusual. $500K fine for a $700MM fraud? Blacklisted for (only) 10 years? The prohibition on profiting from Theranos is meaningless; there’s nothing there, nobody will ever profit from it as far as I know.

    This wasn’t a technical dispute over projections or disclosures or any of that. She was outright lying about revenue by three literal orders of magnitude, and doing shit like publishing articles supposedly written by pharma executives that were actually written by her staff.

    1. Gilmore

      Contrast and compare: Shkreli vs. Holmes

      and wonder at the vagaries of securities-law

      1. Gilmore

        someone did it for me:

        Martin Shkreli = 7 years, $7.5M fine
        Investor capital lost = ~$0

        Elizabeth Holmes = $500k fine, D&O bar
        Company value lost = ~$8 billion

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t have to wonder, it’s driven by the media and political outrage. Holmes was too well connected to do hard time. Additionally, she virtue signaled correctly (as opposed to Shkreli)

  50. I listened to excerpts from these gun grabbing kids today and it is extremely disheartening. They’re literally just parroting talking points from MoveOn.org. Pathetic.

    1. Rhywun

      You may or may not know that this “walkout” thing was organized by the Women’s March junior auxiliary. So yeah, entirely predictable.

    2. MikeS

      In the city I work in, the two high schools each had about 60 kids walk out. I just saw on the news that in at least one of them, the students who walked out will be receiving detention.

      1. Rhywun

        Good.

      2. Don Escaped Texas

        I think they should get to go where they wish.

        I also think teachers should set exams that are worth 10% of their grade on that day.

        1. Don Escaped Texas

          pretty OT:

          Recently we had a AllLivesMatter sort of sit in on our new bridge. The sitters’ story is that they’re the same as Selma: great Americans peaceably protesting. I think that’s totally okay, but, in honor of Selma, they at least need to go to jail for a week for Disorderly Conduct so they can at least have some street cred and live up to the tradition to which they claim to belong and have something to get a tattoo over or whatever.

          I believe in markets; I like ideas. I like unions and strikers; I like the companies that fire strikers. It’s all good to me so long as there are fair and suitable consequences in the marketplace of ideas.

          School should go on….on schedule….with or without all the attendees…..with consequences.

          1. Rhywun

            Agree on all counts. Unfortunately that’s not the country we live in any more.

          2. Don Escaped Texas

            WtF?! It was just there. I grew up there. I knew it well.

    3. thepasswordispassword

      I signed up for a duffel bag and a life time of begging emails from the NRA over this BS. Good job kids.

  51. Yusef drives a Kia

    Jordan Peterson,
    ““People who are doing this at the corporate level will rapidly get their comeuppance … If you’re operating within a capitalist environment like let’s say the executives and management of Qantas, who are being paid disproportionately well, you don’t also get to be a social radical. And you don’t get to salve your conscience for receiving a pay cheque that’s 300 times the pay cheque of the average worker by pretending you’re a social revolutionary. It’s an appalling sleight of hand.

    “In addition, you don’t get to invite the radical leftists into your corporate utopia without opening the door to a major fifth column. If you are naive enough to think that the demand of the radicals for the transformation of your company is going to end with a few requests for language transformation then you’re a complete bloody fool.

    “It’s staggering to me to watch the corporate elite types kowtow to the radical Marxists. They do it to virtue signal or because they’re feeling guilty or maybe because they’re facing genuine pressure and don’t want to stand up against it. But they’re playing a game that will punish them intensely.”

    “In the early 1970s when it became absolutely untenable for anyone with any moral intellectual pretensions to be on the side of the Communists … the same doctrine went underground and transmuted into this postmodern dogma that completely dominates the humanities and social science end of the university curriculum and increasingly plays a determinative role in the legislative process at every level of government in the West. It’s the same old wolf in new sheep’s clothing.”
    https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/the-war-of-social-word-play-has-reached-a-new-low/news-story/b4b2566c9992c0da8fbafc5fce3e55d0?utm_content=SocialFlow&utm_campaign=EditorialSF&utm_source=DailyTelegraph&utm_medium=Twitter

    1. SimonD

      I have the same response to this that I did to an earlier thread. The leftists who run government bureaucracies will hamstring any competition so these companies can virtue-signal to their hearts content and still get rich (because the customer base has no other options).

  52. Rhywun

    OMG cute tits ?

    Just checking in to remark that for some strange reason Susan Sarandon is commentating on tonight’s Rangers/Penguins game. OK guys, you can send her back to her seat now.

    1. Just Say’n

      Susan Sarandon and tits go together

      1. Rhywun

        She’s mostly just moaning and groaning at the action, if that helps.

        1. Just Say’n

          Nice

          1. Rhywun

            She’s either drunk or just doing that ditzy actress thing they do.

  53. Derpetologist

    another gem from Hawking

    “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.”

    1. Not Adahn

      Sometimes he really was a mendacious prick.

    2. commodious spittoon

      I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it still set their alarm clocks in case they’re not predetermined to oversleep.

      1. Drake

        Never tried training with Muslims in the middle east? They don’t intellectually think it. They KNOW it. The bullet will hit the target and the truck will run if Allah wills it. No need to aim or do maintenance. In fact, it might be blasphemy.

  54. DEG

    Happy Pi Day fellow Glibs. At Akira’s suggestion I made a shoofly pie based on the NYT recipe, shamelessly stolen from an 1860s Amish family cookbook (cultural appropriation at it’s flakiest and sweetest). It was delightful and my coworkers have been gently brought back under my control except the one doctor that grokked I was just trying to get them all fat.

    Shoo-fly pie is great. I have a few different recipes from relatives. Some make good pies.

  55. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    ***
    Malibu was originally settled by the Chumash, Native Americans whose territory extended loosely from the San Joaquin Valley to San Luis Obispo to Malibu, as well as several islands off the southern coast of California. They named it “Humaliwo”[21] or “the surf sounds loudly”. The city’s name derives from this, as the “Hu” syllable is not stressed.
    ***

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Dude, the entire Malibu area is Cursed by the Chumash, has been for Centuries, I learned about it in Surfer Magazine back in the 70s, quite a tale

    2. Rhywun

      Their first act upon reaching the ocean was to ban peyote smoking in their longhouses.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        For the Papooses!

    3. straffinrun

      I always wonder why we are so fascinated by what a name means in other languages. We always ask things like, “Oh, you’re name is Chinatsu. What does that mean? 1000 summers? That’s so beautiful.” I’ve never been asked what my name means by them.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Robert= Wise King in Olde English
        Straffinrun= P47 killing Germans in Olde American

      2. Rhywun

        They probably know that most Americans don’t put much thought in naming their kids, while some cultures do. I dunno about the Japanese but the Chinese certainly do.

        1. straffinrun

          Good point. The number of strokes in a kanji is also considered very important. Some kind of good luck.

          1. Rhywun

            It helps that their names are all literally comprised of words in the modern language, while ours are derived mostly from dead languages and you have to look them up in a book to even understand what they mean.

          2. straffinrun

            There are many names that use archaic characters. Even they don’t know what it really means. My daughter’s name doesn’t have much meaning. Lately there’s a trend to name your kid using chinese character, but using the English word. For example, I met this kid who’s name is 空。Should be pronounced “Sora”, but it’s actually pronounced “Sky” which is the English meaning. Bizarre and confusing as hell for people doing roll call.

          3. Rhywun

            Ugh, I would pound that nail down.

          4. straffinrun

            It’s ridiculous. It’d be like seeing the name “Steven” and having the guy tell you it’s pronounced “Akira”.

          5. Yusef drives a Kia

            +1 Bert

          6. Don Escaped Texas

            My name is Scottish and means “won’t pay his taxes.”

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Dad wanted to call me Bobby, after Kennedy, and Mom said, What if He becomes President?
          /True Story

          1. straffinrun

            Thank god there aren’t a lot of Woodrows running around these days.

      3. jesse.in.mb

        So when I was in Korea there was a big push for me to write my name more like jeh-shee instead of the completely pronounceable jeh-ssee. I ignored their pleas and went with the latter spelling. Then I started seeing it in hangeul all over the school…same spelling. I think my classroom has been moved because it says jeh-ssee with an arrow down the hall.

        It turns out the my name means “re-test” as used in the context of punishing kids by making them take tests over and over again…Basically detention.

        I got very irritable looks from Koreans that saw my name written out in hangeul and I totally understand why.

        1. straffinrun

          Did you have the freedom to spell it in however you wanted in hangeul? I had a friend with the name “Booth” which should be “Bu-su” which means butt ugly, so he changed it to “Bu Tsu”. Not having the equivalence of katakana in Korean, probably limits the options, however.

          1. jesse.in.mb

            Yeah, I could’ve gone with the other spelling but was foolish and stubborn. Also I found the light sadism of being named detention teacher refreshing.

          2. Rhywun

            In China they’d just completely make some shit up that only vaguely resembles your name but sounds nice and means something interesting.

            Like “America” is “MAY-gwo” which means “pretty country”.

          3. jesse.in.mb

            Mi-guk-saram is Americans. Probably the same root word. The best was the Koreans had English names and all of the kids who had named their child Kim Jun Hee were like “June is an English name!” and you’d tell them that June is a girl’s name in English and they’d call you a liar and demand their kid’s name be June in English class.

          4. Rhywun

            Yeah, the Cantonese version of “gwo” is “kwok” so you’re probably right. (Mandarin drops a lot of final consonants.)

          5. straffinrun

            Hmmm. In Japanese, France is “Buddha country” and England is “Hero country”.

          6. jesse.in.mb

            Translations of France
            프랑스 France (ppuh rang suh — it sounds surprisingly like Franks when said aloud)

            불 fire, light, dollar, Buddha, France, pannier (bool)

          7. Rhywun

            IIRC Germany is “fierce country” or something like that.

          8. jesse.in.mb

            Awwwwwwwwkward
            독일 Germany, Reich (Dog-eel)
            I guess it’s a bastardization of the Chinese for Deutsch

          9. Rhywun

            OK, I looked it up. It’s “DUH-gwo”. The duh means “virtue”.

          10. Tugendland?

          11. Rhywun

            They always try to go with something flattering.

      4. Theodore means “Gift of God”. That’s because I’m God’s gift to Glibertarians.

      5. commodious spittoon

        Mine is ancient Germanic for “brave fighter,” which I imagine is probably true of most names with ancient German origins.

        It’s also Old Norse for “Thor’s stone,” and knowing that I do feel powerful. Powerful apathy.

          1. Rhywun

            I love all the old Germanic names. Udo… Waltraud… usw.

          2. commodious spittoon

            Dustin.

            Yeah… I don’t see it either. But maybe I should consider Thorsten for my someday son.

        1. commodious spittoon

          I don’t remember that scene… at all. But was Bruce Willis a taxi cab driver in Fifth Element solely to have the back-seat taxicab scene?

          1. Rhywun

            Multipass!

      6. one true athena

        When my husband (Japanese ethnicity but 3rd gen so he’s not a speaker or knows much more than his family’s traditions) and I were trying to figure out a Japanese middle name for our son, we had a list to show his barber who was born and raised in Japan. And so he looks at a couple of names we picked off a list and he shakes his head and says “you have a farmer last name, these are all noble names. They don’t go together.” lol

  56. Yusef drives a Kia

    In honor of Pi day, I’m baking a cherry pie with some Vanilla Ice cream to go on top, yummy!
    and some Teriyaki Chicken and Rice for Dinner

    1. Not cherry pie with Warrant?

  57. Yusef drives a Kia

    Reading my Surfer Magazine post above, I’m reminded that back then, actual Journalism happened, the article in question was researched and well laid out, and it was just a Surf mag, how times have changed…

  58. hayeksplosives

    A coworker told me that Papa Murphy’s (take and bake) was selling 1 topping pizzas today for $3.14 each (online order only), so the hubs just went out to pick up a couple of them.

    Pizza is pie, right??

    1. commodious spittoon

      Damn! Wrong week to quit carbs and actually, you know, stick to it for a change.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      old Cartoons tell me so…

    3. Rope Snake

      Motherfucker. I wish I was aware of this.

  59. hayeksplosives

    In the latest employment saga, I tendered my resignation today, effective March 30. First day at the new place is April 2.

    I will spend Easter alone in a corporate apartment.

    But the adventure begins!

    1. MikeS

      Wow. Shit is real now. Good luck Hayek’!

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yup, it’s real. Leaping straight out of the rut and into organized chaos.

        Thanks for the Good Luck. I need it selling the house!

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      And Gas is down! Rain is up! a great time to join us! Mudslides! Idiots who don’t know what rain is!
      Welcome

      1. hayeksplosives

        Thank you! We’ll have to do a So-Cal glibs meetup when the dust settles.

        1. jesse.in.mb

          Just don’t have Los Doyers plan it.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Plan? what the Hell is a plan? Weed, Ass sex and Mexicans! We’re good to go..

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          We shall! I quit Smoking so i’m not a pariah any longer, and we are pretty close, still North County i presume?

          1. hayeksplosives

            Yup. Likely Escondido area, or generic countryside east of hiway 15.

    3. Rhywun

      Enjoy the boringly perfect weather!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Cold, windy, and mixed, not boring at all right now, not roof work friendly

        1. Rhywun

          Nice. One of the few things I miss about SF was the weather. I like cool and cloudy.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            I enjoy real weather….

          2. Rhywun

            NYC has about all the real weather you could ask for. So what if it’s only actually comfortable for three or four months out of the year….

      2. jesse.in.mb

        Enjoy the boringly perfect weather!

        Hey! We have the times of fire and mud. The cow asshole winds from the east that taste of heat and hate.

        And occasionally fog!

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I AM OF THE EAST WIND! IT IS OUR REVENGE FOR THE FOUL AIR YOU COASTIES SEND OUR WAY 11 MONTHS OF THE YEAR!!!

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            YOU ARE TO BE DESICCATED IN THE COLD DRYNESS OF WINTER AND THEN BURNT IN THE HOT OCTOBER SKIES,
            THE SANTA ANAS HAVE SPOKEN!!!

          2. jesse.in.mb

            I went to school out in Whittier. Students would move there from out of state and you’d give them a quick summary of the pros and cons. “Occasionally it’ll smell like a goats ass for a week or two, you’ll be hot and irritable for the duration of that time and it’s highly likely that it’ll rain ash from the heavens.”

            Freshmen always thought you were being dramatic and then the next year they’d be giving the same description to the new freshmen.

    4. DEG

      Congratulations!

      1. hayeksplosives

        Thanks, man!

    5. Hyperion

      ” corporate apartment.”

      Well, that sounds like a nice perk.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Yeah, i haven’t seen it, but the relocation lady says the apartments are nice and very close to the workplace. Fully furnished, pots and pans, washer and dryer, etc. And I can bring my two cats when it’s time to put the Minnesota house on the market!

        They are shipping my Ford Expedition out to replace my rental car after a couple of weeks.

        The tax reform bill made relocation expenses taxable, but the new company is upping the relocation reimbursement enough to compensate for a 35% tax so that I won’t have to worry about it. They also are reimbursing closing costs on the MN house, the new CA house, and reimbursing realtor fees. The list goes on. I get the impression they want me.

      2. Lachowsky

        Corporate apartment-

        beware, next you’ll have to shop at the company store.

        1. hayeksplosives

          🙂

          I will be taking the corporate jet now and then to Tupelo, Mississippi, and Huntsville, Alabama.

    6. Lachowsky

      Congratulations Hayek. I hope it all works out.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Thanks. Life’s an adventure. Bring it.

    7. Creosote Achilles

      That’s a heck of a feeling, isn’t it? Good luck!

    1. straffinrun

      The PhD of links.

    2. MikeS

      Stick with titty links.

      1. Rhywun

        LOL to both a yinz

      1. MikeS

        I got tired of waiting and lost interest.

      2. Rhywun

        Good lord… don’t care, dude.

      3. Gilmore

        I realized that all of those specialized topics we study so deeply for so long in graduate school are — for the most part — of zero interest to anyone else.

        there’s always New Real Peer Review twitter. He Cares™

        1. mikey

          God Gawd! That goes on forever! Are there really so many people like that?

          I did have a Poli Sci prof tell me my papers were OK but they were written in simple, clear English so no one would take me seriously.

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      My one real complaint against academe is that it doesn’t problematize that sort of behavior. In fact, it romanticizes alcoholism, isolation, and poor health choices

      And this is why I didn’t quit and got mine.

  60. westernsloper

    After perusing the days posts, I feel I must point out that not one person noted that Penn Gillette repeatedly made 2/3 of the two in the pink one in the stink sign when making his hand gun gesture. smdh. How is it I am the most observant person for the most important things around here? You should all be ashamed.

    The Pi recipe is pdf’d and sitting on my desktop. Thanks Jesse.

    1. westernsloper

      Not most observant on how to spell a persons last name though. Oops

      1. commodious spittoon

        Gillette is the Gillespie of spelling Jillette.

  61. Yusef drives a Kia

    NO ONE ESCAPES THE SPANISH WINDQUISITION!

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      AND JESSE GETS THE CUSHY TUMBLEWEED!

      1. jesse.in.mb

        Hey, our temperate mediterranean coastal biome has a surprising amount of sagebrush. They removed the ice plant from a lot of the coastal hillsides (shallow root system + heavy leaf structure = oopsie) and replaced it with native plants. Anytime we get a storm off of the ocean it’ll be palm fronds on one side of the road and tumbleweeds on the other.

        The El Segundo Blue Butterfly Preserve will end up with them stacked up as high as the chain link fence and rolling over onto cars…it rarely gets more Mario Kart around here than when that happens.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I remember many a New years Day with a front porch full of tumbleweed, ahh the good old days

          1. Hyperion

            I have really fond memories of tumbleweeds from my youth. No tumbleweeds on the EC. I miss muh tumbleweeds. Hey, what happens when the mareejuaner turns into tumbleweeds and are loosed on the chillins? Will there be a scary movie?

            ‘Tumbleweeds from hell! Children hardest hit!’

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            The rambling Ganja weeds are already loose, and The State is in Disarray, I tried to tell Hayek, but She Wouldn’t listen….
            When the the Wind blows, the appear.. always stalking, always watching….

          3. Hyperion

            “The rambling Ganja weeds are already loose”

            LOL, I am so stealing that. It’s almost as good as my newly beloved soap weed, which I use liberally in cooking and my fresh salsa. This site is a treasure trove of awesome. Best commenters in all the interwebz. Sorry, TOS, you lost.

          4. We used to have whippoorwills all the time when I was a kid, but I haven’t heard them in ages.

          5. Hyperion

            Dude, fuck! Don’t get me started! I used to spend summers at my grandparents place down in eastern KY. I remember sleeping at night with all the windows open and those whippoorwills just going at it. That combined with the tree frogs and bull frogs down at the pond that was near, I would fall asleep with all that going on, wonderful days.

          6. Yusef drives a Kia

            Global Warmening Ate them……

  62. Yusef drives a Kia

    AND YES, FOR THE LAST TIME, i AM YELLING AT YOU!!!
    /Tonight

  63. straffinrun

    Probably linked previously, but KMG’s piece is a piece of something. When Smug Liberals Met Conservative Trolls.

    But there are other longstanding principled transpartisan coalitions that might be due for reconsideration: Think cosmopolitan libertarianism or Blue Dog Democrats.

    1. Rhywun

      KMW is the Nick Gillespie of NYT (!) contributors.

      1. straffinrun

        Oops. I thought her name was Katherine Man Goo.

        1. commodious spittoon

          Sounds spunky.

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          Ward! as in Ward off Man Goo! Man icky!

    2. Hyperion

      Basically what happened is that the smug liberals got their asses handed to them, and as a result there’s now a massive effort underway to ban the right wingers from public discourse, lest it continue.

      1. straffinrun

        They love laughing at people, but don’t you dare laugh at them. The SoCons weren’t any good at mocking liberals, but liberals were wide open for being mocked. The right loses the “So” in “SoCon” and they really freed up some comedy.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          HA! the TUMBLEWEEDS LAUGH AT YOU!

    3. westernsloper

      The nest sentence needs to be included in that quote.

      These coalitions can form, however, only if they can find a space outside of mainstream politics’ compulsive, addictive, downward rhetorical spiral.

      They need to form at cocktail parties dontcha see. I really do find it quaint that some #professionalLibertarians don’t see they will be lined up and shot with the rest of us on the wrong side of the “rhetorical spiral” should the right thinkers win.

      (being shot is obviously metaphorical……..for current times anyways)

      1. westernsloper

        *next…..fuck it

  64. Hyperion

    I’ve been hearing that the stock market is worse than it’s ever been, since you know, the light bringer is gone and the most evil worse than Hitler guy has taken control. The odd thing is, I’m not some sort of genius investor, but I do pay some attention. I just looked at my account. To be honest, I’ve moved a lot of my high risk / potential high gain stuff into safer areas over the last few years. I’m thinking of retirement in 10-12 years so I guess that makes sense. Anyway, in all this gloom and doom, I managed a net gain of more than $4000 since Feb 1. It’s nothing compared to what I was doing before, but fuck, how is that anything to complain about? $4300 for doing basically nothing in 2 months. I’ll take those crumbs, Nancy. Anyone else seeing similar results, or am I just basically having dumb luck?

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Yes, I’m working my ass off, but i also established a Salary, as it were, so I can actually create a budget again,
      /Stability

    2. Rhywun

      I only noticed that my 401K is gaining steam again after many years of basically treading water, but that could have started several years ago because I stopped looking a few years ago after five or six years of shit results.

      1. Hyperion

        The past year was phenomenal and then it sort of leveled off since the last couple of months, but I’m still making money, just not the sort of WOW it was before. It’s just the way the markets are, but I’m feeling really happy that I didn’t lose money the last couple months since I’m hearing a lot of people did, this is just like a sort of speed bump right how.

    3. Trigger Hippie

      Well let’s see…so far this year my stock portfolio looks like…hehehehe…as if I was a responsible adult and had a stock portfolio or something. I kill me.

    4. Urthona

      Where do you hear that?

      I keep reading the stock market must not be a useful indicator of anything because it’s been doing well under Trump.

    5. Lachowsky

      I looked yesterday. I’m mostly in higher risk stuff. I have had a 401k since 2006. From 2006-2016 I made an average of 5% a year. (I had a lot of loss in 2008) From 2016-2017 I made 26%. From 2017-right now I have made 4.5%.

      I have been Unfortunantly enough to have been investing for my entire working life in the late bush/obama economy, which has been pretty much shit. Last year was the first year I have ever seen good returns. That 26% netted me over 30k. That’s nice.

  65. Derpetologist

    Vox sez:

    Want to stay out of prison? Choose rich parents.
    https://www.vox.com/identities/2018/3/14/17114226/incarceration-family-income-parents-study-brookings-rich-kid-poor-kid

    Hey Vox- how about you repeat this study for children of married couple vs. children of single parents.

    ***
    If there was any doubt that the carceral state was locking up large shares of black communities, this list should remove it. There’s a 93 percent black zip code in Nashville; black neighborhoods in Fort Myers, Jacksonville, and Orlando, Florida; black parts of the Hampton Roads area in southern Virginia.

    By contrast, the least-incarcerated zip codes, with rates of 0.0 percent, include posh areas like La Jolla, California, or Princeton, New Jersey, or über-white neighborhoods in Minneapolis and Portland, Oregon.
    ***

    1. Urthona

      Being married means you’re unlikely to be below the poverty line anyway.

  66. Yusef drives a Kia

    Weather Report!
    Mountain west, You’re FUCKED!
    New England, You’re Fucked!
    South, COLD!
    North, COLDER, What did you expect?
    https://www.ventusky.com/?p=35.3;-108.7;3&l=rain-3h&t=20180315/03

    1. Hyperion

      It’s too fucking cold. Last year we had moved all of our houseplants outside by this date and I had tomatoes started outside. I’m saying it again, the sun solar minimum that scientist have been predicting recently to last up to 30 more years is serious business. We could enter another mini-ice age like has happened before in the past few centuries. Global warming is the opposite of what we need to worry about.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Don’t remind me, it is far more deadly than any heat wave we can imagine, Cold kills, and I hate the cold

        1. Rhywun

          I would trade twenty degrees cooler in summer for twenty degrees colder in winter any day. I hate summer.

          1. Hyperion

            You need to spend a few years in the upper midwest. That will cure you of that for good.

          2. Rhywun

            I grew up on Lake Ontario – not as bad but I know cold winters and they don’t bother me as much as NYC’s disgusting summers.

          3. Hyperion

            I could live in our South American home, like 8 degree south of the equator with no regrets, at least about climate.

            Recife

            That’s pretty much all year round. Around 75% humidity, I love it.

      2. Lachowsky

        No kidding on it being too cold. Normally I’m done burning wood by now. It’s going to be in the upper 20 tonight and I’m down to less than a rick. If it doesn’t warm up soon I’m going to have go back to cutting, which I really don’t want to do. I already burned more this year than I have since I bought my wood burner in 2012. It’s been unusually cold this winter.

    2. Rhywun

      OMG that is mesmerizing

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s why I wrote all the BS, it’s really cool…

    3. Urthona

      In Texas it’s beautiful and 70 degrees all week.

      Plus we have fewer than average Democrats.

    4. Don Escaped Texas

      I like it zoomed out with no geopolitics….just the rivers, the natural: all I need to see precisely where I am.

    5. Raven Nation

      Man, I just have to make it over Vail Pass tomorrow and I don’t care what happens after that for the next week.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Jeez, be careful

      2. Playa Manhattan

        And then… SPRING BREAK

        1. CPRM

          He’s gonna send us ski bunny photos, right?

  67. Yusef drives a Kia

    As 60 mph winds,
    blow tumbleweeds,
    from Yusef to Jesse,
    The only thing left,
    is Hayek

    1. Not Adahn

      That is a terrible haiku

  68. Hyperion

    I’m playing Empyrion Galactic Surival. It’s great and really addictive. It’s an indy dev, so you can expect it has it’s certain amount of crudeness, but it’s really good as far as the crafting/survival goes. It’s sort of like 7 Days to Die (probably the greatest crafting/building game ever), in space. I mean, sure, it’s turned me into a genocidal maniac. I was on a mission and I shot a fucking space spider. And it was coming right at me. So then these planetary natives attacked me. I barely was able to escape with my life. They’e primitives and have spears as a weapon. So maybe I should forgive them and just forget. Nah, I’m going to kill them all.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      ROME!

  69. Yusef drives a Kia

    On a Glibfit note, I’m 5 days quitting Smoking, i have cheated on 5 cigs, but each time, i find no satisfaction, and a bad taste in my mouth, I really don’t like cigars/cigs anymore, so maybe this time I can win the Battle,it’s flippin’ hard…

    1. hayeksplosives

      I had to do Nicorette to get over it. It worked for me.

      Best of luck!

    2. Lachowsky

      I took Chantix about 6 years ago amd ot worked. Beware though, it makes for some absolutely insane dreams. extremely lucid and the kind of fucked up that you dont want to tell anyone about. I stayed off the smokes for 2 years. Dumbass me thought it would be a good to smoke one while drinking after being quit for so long, and bam, I’m back on them. I could kick myself in the nuts for that decision.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m vaping right now, and it’s sooo much better on the lungs, I can feel it, Smokes are nasty already, this is a good thing

  70. Trigger Hippie

    https://www.fivecolleges.edu/courses/UM/2018/SPRING/WGSS/205/01

    “We will examine how health becomes defined, and will question whether health and disease are objectively measured conditions or subjective states.”

    What? How in the hell can having a disease or a testable physical ailment be subjective? Either you do or you do not. What’s the end game here?

    1. jesse.in.mb

      I mean, the course sounds like academic gobbledygook, but take for example hypertension. They recently redefined it so the numbers that count as pre-hypertensive and hypertensive are lower. That way doctors can hector more people to make positive lifestyle changes.

      The premise isn’t *crazy* but I guarantee the presentation will be by the synopsis.

      1. CPRM

        Also: who is crazy!? (and therefore able to have rights forfeited) Is depression crazy? Is anxiety crazy? Is Bi-polar crazy? What if Anxiety is ruled not crazy, but the medication a person takes is for depression? All kinds of ways this can go.

        1. Trigger Hippie

          Okay, fair points, both of you. I suppose I didn’t take into consideration that medical professionals change the parameters of what is defined as an illness, mentally being fairly common, from time to time. I believe autism has been subject to that within the last decade or so now that I think about it.

          1. CPRM

            Yeah, Asperger’s only became a known thing around here when I was older and out of school, if I had still been in school when it came around I’d be on a list for that too (as far as I can tell, other than getting better treatment in school there isn’t really a benefit to being diagnosed)

    2. Playa Manhattan

      I like salt. Do you like salt?

      1. Trigger Hippie

        Nah, man. That movie sucked.

    1. CPRM

      The guy in that picture looks like such a ‘dudebro’ don’t be gay man!

  71. CPRM

    I actually had to work all day, what is this North Korea…anyway in my down time at work I caught this story. Some gems:

    authorities say had a semi-automatic handgun

    Ok, so it wasn’t a revolver or flintlock, way to narrow that down. No mention of how the guns were found, they just were! I’m sure no one’s rights were violated, because cops are by the book.

  72. Lachowsky

    a couple of my regular machine operators are on vacation this week. Their back ups are running their machines. This makes my job infinitely more difficult. A good operator makes a great maintenance man.

    1. CPRM

      keep a 15 pound fire extinguisher handy.

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      They catch the shit as it happens and shut it down, XP for the win…

      1. Lachowsky

        That amd an xp operator can generally tell you what the problem is.

        Bad operator- Hey the furnace won’t tilt.

        Good operator- Hey, the furnace won’t tilt. Its probably my roof down limit switch because we just swung the roof back on.

        With good operator, I go to the limit, see why it’s not working and fix it.

        With bad operator, I get my laptop out, plug it into the plc, go online with the program, find the rung with the tilt logic, figure out what’s missing in the tilt permissive, then go to the limit and see why it’s not working.

        1. CPRM

          With bad operator, I get my laptop out, plug it into the plc, go online with the program, find the rung with the tilt logic, figure out what’s missing in the tilt permissive, then go to the limit and see why it’s not working. I push him into the furnace.

    3. Creosote Achilles

      From my former life in sandwich manufacturing this is some real shit, right here. A good operator really does make a huge difference.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Subway?

        1. Creosote Achilles

          No. We made frozen sandwiches for grocery stores/convenience stores/cafeterias. We had our own brands, but we did a shit ton of private label and licensed sandwiches. If you’ve ever eaten a frozen sandwich there’s about a 40% chance it was one we made. We produced something like 400 million sandwiches a year at one of our 2 facilities. At one point we were the largest sandwich manufacturing facilities in the world

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            Damn! Cool!

          2. Creosote Achilles

            It was pretty interesting. I remember one sandwich we made for truck stops that was a breakfast sandwich. It was a huge biscuit with two pork chops, an egg, a gravy puck, bacon, and cheese or something ridiculous like that. The thing was seriously a good four inches tall and something like 1800 calories.

          3. CPRM

            You made Hot Pockets?

          4. Creosote Achilles

            Unfortunately, no. But the Aunt Jemima (sp?) brand breakfast sandwiches were ours at one point. And all of the Wal Mart brand frozen burgers/chicken/breakfast sandwiches were as well. And we owned something like 80% of the convenience store market at one point. Those are the two examples I remember off the top of my head. We had a bunch of others though.

    4. Playa Manhattan

      Spring Break?

      1. Lachowsky

        Yep. Some of the schools around here do it this week and some next.

  73. Yusef drives a Kia

    March is a big PM Month for me, 10 properties totaling 150 units or so, and it always seems to either Rain, or other work comes up, or both, insane O times, I have to be ready to, wait.. then run,

    1. CPRM

      You look older each time you change your profile pic. I’m afraid the next pic will be a pile of dust and bones. For your own sake stop now!

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Fixed!

        1. CPRM

          Better. Good job on the de-aging. Hollywood type effects.

  74. CPRM

    I do a lot of hurry up and wait at work, this sounds better, except if I try to run my knees give out.

    1. CPRM

      Meant as a reply to Yusef at 81.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I do a lot of foot work, miles, But I Do Not Run, I’m not paid by the hour, or the job…..

    2. Yusef drives a Kia

      I used to get all set up for my Spring Pms, but I found that Murphy got,involved, so now I play it by ear and take the entire month to finish them, they get done

      1. CPRM

        That damn Murphy, why I oughta…what?

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Like Murphy, i can take many forms and shapes,
          /Odo

          1. CPRM

            Oh, Odo; I have the action figure around here somewhere…

          2. Yusef drives a Kia

            I have all the Gumby figures, that’s as close as I can get to Odo figures, but it IS close…

          3. CPRM

            My little brother was the Gumby fan.

          4. Yusef drives a Kia

            I’m a collector…

          5. CPRM

            my cousin had the 10 inch? versions we only ever got the 4 inch ones.

    3. Lachowsky

      A good portion of my job is to sit around at the ready, waiting for something to go wrong. As soon as it does, I run to fix it as fast as possible. There are things that can happen, that have to be fixed in a matter of minutes to prevent some major problems. It can be interesting around here sometimes. Boring as hell at other times.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        Fires, I put em out, if the phone rings right now for a restaurant freezer, my Partner will pick my drunk ass up and go we will go fix it, I’m too drunk to drive, but not Troubleshoot

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Stupid laws, but it’s cool

        2. Lachowsky

          Ha! I used to get called to come figure shit out on my ay off at my last job fairly often. More then once I told bossman, I’ll come but you gotta come get me.

          1. Yusef drives a Kia

            It’s fun, “how bad do you need me?”
            HA!

  75. Yusef drives a Kia

    I must say,Vaping is the best thing I have done for my Health in a long while.I have smoked about 10 cigs in the last 5 days and it feels great! I am getting tired of smoking weed due to the smoke, I never thought I would say that.

    1. CPRM

      I’m thinking of going to vaping, but my cigarette smoking is more to do with helping me control my anxiety than the nicotine hit, so I’m still on the border.

  76. Derpetologist

    extra early links

    https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10641

    ***
    A professor at UT-Arlington recently posted a message on Facebook blasting conservative comedian Steven Crowder as an “alt-right Neo-Nazi” who “calls graphically for murder and extermination of Jews and LGBT people.”
    Crowder’s website, however, counters that the tweets used to substantiate those claims are obvious forgeries that appear to have been created with photo-editing software.
    ***

    pathetic

    1. leonadasiv

      Despicable. But I really don’t expect much more from them.

  77. Derpetologist

    Lawmaker’s tweet after physicist Stephen Hawking’s death draws criticism
    http://www.foxnews.com/science/2018/03/15/texas-state-lawmaker-criticized-for-stephen-hawking-tweet-hours-after-physicist-s-death.html

    ***
    But despite the overwhelming criticism, the lawmaker remained defiant and stood behind his comment.

    “While many see him as one of the greatest public intellectuals of the last century, and no one disputes that he was brilliant, the fact remains that God exists,” Cain told the American-Statesman. “My tweet was to show the gravity of the Gospel and what happens when we die, namely, that we all will one day meet the Creator of the universe face to face.

    “Stephen Hawking was a vocal atheist, who advocated against and openly mocked God,” Cain continued. “Hawking has said, ‘[T]here is no god. No one created our universe, and no one directs our fate.’ And, elsewhere, `I’m an atheist.’”
    ***

    [head desk]

  78. Hyperion

    Oddly enough, I just had a furen frien of mine text us a video of a property drive by they were looking at. Showed to wife and asked her if she knows where this is. Turns out… Florida. Very, very cheap, nothing unusual. So I had to say to the friend ‘Yeah, but it’s Florida’. They didn’t get it, so I said ‘It’s sort of a joke that isn’t funny. Let’s say you hear something on the evening news that is the most insane thing imaginable. You automatically assume it’s Florida and there’s like a 99.999% chance you are right’. And then there are the cops, who are the worst of the worst, I suppose because there’s nothing much better to do, when some crazy isn’t making the evening news, than to beat up granny for holding an illegal evening game of bingo. One day, there will be the mother gawd of all sinkholes and it will all be over.