ZARDOZ SATURDAY EVENING LINKS

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. THE FIERCE ASSAULT OF STEVE SMITH UPON THE VORTEX HAS TEMPORARILY ABATED. ZARDOZ HAS PUT OUT THE CALL FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS TO JOIN ZARDOZ AT THE VORTEX – COMBINE FORCES AND DRIVE AWAY STEVE SMITH.

WHILE THEY ARRIVE, ZARDOZ GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE LINK!

  • ZARDOZ BELIEVES HE MAY HAVE FOUND SOME NEW MATERIAL FOR THE BRUTAL EXTERMINATORS…BONUS RUSSIANZ!!! INCLUDED.
  • ZARDOZ IS NOT PLEASED. HE FOUND THIS ON MR. WHISKERS’ TABLET. ZARDOZ HOPES THIS DOES NOT LEAD TO ANYTHING.
  • ZARDOZ IS SHOCKED TO FIND CORRUPTION IN LAND DEALING IN GOVERNMENT. JAPANESE CHOSEN ONES HARDEST HIT.
  • ZARDOZ BELIEVES CERTAIN THRIFTY SWISS CHOSEN ONES MIGHT FIND THIS USEFUL.

 

On the way to Zardoz, Daddy-O!

 

That Zardoz is one cool cat!

 

THE TABERNACLE HAS DETECTED THAT STEVE SMITH HAS CALLED FRIENDS TO HIS AID AS WELL!

SQUATCHES, READY TO RUMBLE! BY RUMBLE, MEAN…RUMBLE.

 

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

ZED:
The Brutal Exterminators are gonna have their day
Tonight

STEVE SMITH:
THE SQUATCHES ARE GONNA HAVE THEIR DAY
TONIGHT

ZED:
The Cryptids grumble,
“Fair fight”
But if they start a rumble,
We’ll rumble ’em right

SQUATCHES:
WE’RE GONNA HAND ‘EM A SURPRISE
TONIGHT

EXTERMINATORS:
We’re gonna cut ’em down to size
Tonight

SQUATCHES:
WE SAID “O. K. NO RUMPUS,
NO TRICKS.”
BUT JUST IN CASE THEY JUMP US.
WE’RE READY TO MIX.
TONIGHT!

BOTH:
We’re gonna rock it tonight
We’re gonna jazz it up and have us a ball!
They’re gonna get it tonight;
The more they turn it on, the harder they fall!

EXTERMINATORS:
Well, they began it!

SQUATCHES:
WELL, THEY BEGAN IT –

BOTH:
And we’re the ones to stop ’em once and for all,

Tonight!

 

Comments

384 responses to “ZARDOZ SATURDAY EVENING LINKS”

  1. Great podcast this week Gordilocks. Looking forward to a follow-up this week!

    1. Just Say’n

      What’s the name of the podcast? I’m always looking for something new to listen to

      1. Hmmm…my comment didn’t take. Mebbe because it was the link with no other text.

        http://talkcdl.com/interview-gordo-bizarre/

    2. Gordilocks

      Thanks LT! More than happy to spread my velvety and dulcet tones around.

      1. DEG

        I got a chance to listen. It was good.

  2. DEG

    Until then, about 100 people aged between 18 and 75 occupy its rooms, not under regular leasing terms, but less rigid “lend-to-use” agreements.

    How long until the government shuts it down?

    1. From the article:

      “The basic idea is generally sound, but it can easily be exploited for profit.”

      Fuck you for thinking profit is a bad thing.

  3. C. Anacreon

    So a leopard ate three people? Afterwards, did he say, “mmm… that hit just the right spots.”

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      lol.

      And.

      /narrows gaze.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      BOOOOOO

    3. egould310

      ? Spot on!

  4. Rufus the Monocled

    It just keeps getting worse and worse with Trudeau. I don’t even recognize this country anymore.

    https://twitter.com/LibLaugh/status/972272684645212160

    He’s a major buzz kill.

    Still worse, cynicism has settled in on this country. He named a woman as head of the RCMP. I don’t know who she is and whether she deserves it, but with this jackass it wouldn’t surprise me he fucked over more deserving men for the job.

    1. MikeS

      Sheik Yerbouti
      ‏ @YerboutiSheik
      20h20 hours ago

      Remember when Obama went around bragging ppl were fainting at his rallies?
      Man, I forgot how much I hate that motherfu*ker.

      1. Gordilocks

        Holy shit. I know this Sheik Yerbouti person IRL.

        1. C. Anacreon

          I thought Sheik Yerbouti was a Frank Zappa album.

          1. Festus

            “Gonna ram it, ram it, ram it , ram it up yer Poopchute! (wristwatch, Crisco)”

          2. Gordilocks

            There was a person in Toronto who took the name on as their Burner handle.

    2. But Enough About Me

      When the female RCMP cadet fainted behind The Hair That Walks Like A Man™, one Twittterati wrote “I would have faked childbirth to get out of listening to him speak.”

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        I want to smack that smirk right off his stupid, clueless face.

        1. But Enough About Me

          Patience, d00d. We may yet get that chance. Public sentiment is turning against our Tide Pod-Eater In Chief. The Libs can only hide his vacuity for so long before even the densest of Canadians starts to smell something rotten.

          1. Rufus the Monocled

            I don’t want to see them loose. I want to see the destruction of the Liberal party of Canada as punishment for this dope.

            I want to see done to them what happened to the PC party in 1993. I want them down to a couple of seats. I don’t give a shit if the seats split among the idiot Bloc and loons in the NDP and even Greens so long as the Conservatives get a majority. Just to teach them a lesson.

            And to ensure this mistake of a fake leader is forgotten and ridiculed.

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            lose

          3. But Enough About Me

            That would be nice, but I think the Liberal brand is so strong amongst the Laurentian elites that a Liberal leader could basically blow dead babies on national television and still get elected. They’re a f*cking Colossus in central Canada, and the West doesn’t really matter to national politics. Sadly.

          4. Rufus the Monocled

            Truth. Quebec hates the Trudeau name but they did elect him in his riding. They did it by sticking him in the immigrant riding of Papineau.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Papineau_(electoral_district)

            And then the stupid fuck compares ISIS reintegrating into Canada to Italian, Portuguese and Greek immigration – the main communities that put him in power

          5. Festus

            I knew he’d walk into his own hype like a sparrow flying into a window pane eventually. I just didn’t see it as being so hilariously ill-informed and clumsy. It’s like Grandma twerking.

    3. Grumbletarian

      Don’t lock your knees when standing at attention.

  5. Sean

    Hail Zardoz!

    Also, bad kitteh. Who knew leopards liked Indian food?

  6. Rick C-137
    1. C. Anacreon

      Well, axe him to give it back to you.

      1. Rick C-137

        Ha! Are you gonna ask a giant guns pitting stone head for it back?

  7. Rick C-137

    Despite being a crap movie

    it’s happening.gif

    1. Rhywun

      Are they sure that Wrinkle in Time snap isn’t actually a backstage candid from RuPaul’s Drag Race?

  8. Tres Cool

    “Elsewhere the Home Secretary chaired an emergency Cobra meeting over the ‘serious and substantial’ investigation’ into the poisoning.”

    Has GI Joe been notified?

    1. westernsloper

      I knew I heard Cobra somewhere. I was thinking James Bond.

      1. Count Potato

        Isn’t that SPECTRE?

        1. Number.6

          What are SMERSH? Chopped liver?

          1. Rick C-137

            No that’s Putin’s old outfit.

        2. Tres Cool

          ZORIN was my favorite in ‘View To A Kill”
          Chris Walken and all that.

          1. Rick C-137

            You’re an eggplant…

            Wait, wrong movie.

    2. Grumbletarian

      They were just welcoming a new member.

      1. Tres Cool

        “Fumbles…it was always Fumbles”

        1. hayeksplosives

          Great episode. 🙂

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      You need to let them know, Tres. Because…
      *Dons sunglasses*

      KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE

  9. Rick C-137

    Style Icon

    Only a New Yorker writer would think this is a clever turn of phrase…

    This is a costume for an allegory…He is armored in the good, clean, honest look of an extremely civil servant, unaffected and, therefore, inimitable.

    1. westernsloper

      Jesus. That was a waste of time to read. The New Yorker will publish any drivel if the right signal is sent.

    2. Rhywun

      Wow that’s embarrassing.

      1. Festus

        So a guy that dons a suit like any of the other millions of dweebs is an “Icon”? I mean, he could at least class it up with a spinning bow tie and a joke lapel flower.

        1. Festus

          I don’t even own a tie fer fuck’s sake and this is problematic because I have to attend a memorial service in April.

          1. mexican sharpshooter
          2. Festus

            Nah. I’ll just get Wifey to pick me up something from Walmart next time that we need cat food or some such. The tie will be worn once and will join the debris in the closet. I dress the same as I did forty years ago and I’m not changing now.

          3. mexican sharpshooter

            I just want to make sure: you are not my father in law, right?

    3. R C Dean

      Jesus, just suck his cock and be done with it.

  10. Rick C-137

    This will be good practice for when Mattis inevitably has his triumph after ascending to power

    1. I want this to happen so badly!!!

      https://www.duffelblog.com/2013/12/general-mattis-crosses-potomac-100000-troops-president-senate-flee-city/

      WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented turn in American history, retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, several years after being dismissed by the President and exiled to his estate in the countryside, marched on the national capitol early Tuesday morning with an army over one hundred thousand strong.

      This number includes at least ten infantry legions, several aviation and artillery legions, and multiple cavalry cohorts.

      “I come in peace, by myself, in order to hand-deliver a Memorandum of Concern to the Commander in Chief and the Senate,” said Mattis in a press conference. “I am moving on foot at a leisurely pace, with no ill will. If these American citizens choose to take a stroll with me, then who am I to turn down their companionship?”

      The contents of the so-called memorandum are unknown, but are rumored by Mattis’ close advisors to contain paragraphs addressing unconstitutional acts by the administration and the Senate. Alarmed by the amassing of troops sympathetic to Mattis over the last week at Fort Myer, the Senate, the President, and various generals attempted to recall various combat divisions to Washington to defend the city.

      These included the 101st Airborne, 82nd Airborne, 10th Mountain, and 3rd Infantry Divisions, in addition to the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force.

      “We even attempted to contact NAVSURFLANT and SUBLANT,” confided one Senate aide as he packed his Datsun to flee northward. “All we got was laughter and then static.”

      The summoned units all either ignored their movement orders, or by the next morning had joined forces with Mattis’ ad-hoc command.

      Mattis was apparently done waiting, and crossed the Potomac on landing craft, escorted by an honor guard from MARSOC. After setting fire to the National Archives and sabotaging key infrastructure, the cabinet and most members of the Senate fled north toward New York and Boston in cars, vans and whatever other vehicles they could commandeer.

      The President has not been seen since early yesterday morning, but sources inside the State Department confirm that he is on a scheduled goodwill trip to Egypt, which was kept from the press for safety reasons. His travel schedule has not been released to pool reporters.

      1. Rick C-137

        If the republic is going to flame out, might as well go full Rome.

        And given the attitude of the youth He would probably have an easy time of it…

        1. Festus

          Life is short and life is shit and soon it will be over.

          1. Number.6

            Ars longa, vita brevis.

          2. Festus

            Skol!

  11. Rick C-137
    1. Festus

      I wanna hug it like Lenny hugs a bunny.

  12. Count Potato

    “BONUS RUSSIANZ!!! ”

    At least the Daily Fail sends photographers. Wapo just consults anonymous mind readers.

    1. hayeksplosives

      I can’t believe how underreported this story has been. I first learned about from the Daily Fail a few days ago, and I have yet to see it on the front page of a major US news org. They are so inward-looking! Surprising, because Litvinenko’s assassination was well publicized not that long ago.

      1. Number.6

        Prediction: Binary reagents.

        1. Count Potato

          “Someone, who likes stoganoff, reported it was polonium.”

        2. hayeksplosives

          I was expecting non-binary double agents.

          1. peachy rex

            “I identify as spykin.”

          2. Festus

            Oooh that was a good’un! Nice shot, Peachy!

      2. Chafed

        There is good coverage in the WSJ

  13. Juvenile Bluster

    ZARDOZ, I’m starting to feel like one of your eternals. Sick of the passage of time.

    Speaking of sick of things … I can’t keep up with the “supporting Trump to own the libs” thing. Their tears are still delicious, but between the tariffs, the existence of Jeff Sessions and the DOJ deciding that bump stocks suddenly meet the definition of “machine gun” and thus should be banned … and that’s just in the last week … I can’t anymore. He’s just like the rest of them. He’s not draining the swamp, he is the swamp.

    1. Count Potato

      Still way better than what HRC would have done.

      1. Juvenile Bluster

        [Jay Cutler]

        DOOOOOOOOOON’T
        CAAAAAAAAAAAARE

        [/Jay Cutler]

        1. hayeksplosives

          I know that reference. It’s a fave in this household.

    2. Rick C-137

      You gotta take the right attitude, JB. It’s a show. No matter what trump does he won’t move the needle without gutting the federal government, and that’s assuming he actually wanted to do that.

      He is a mogul come pol who will be consumed like a victim of the blob and his fan base will still probably turn out for him.

      The machine is broke and even though our ideas could repair it they are ignored.

      So, I’m inclined to make popcorn and stockpile resources.

      1. R C Dean

        Pretty much where I am.

    3. Heroic Mulatto

      You forgot meeting with video game executives to lecture them about “violence”.

  14. Count Potato

    “Nun, 89, at center of three-year legal battle with Katy Perry over sale of Los Angeles convent collapses and dies during court hearing, just hours after pleading with the star to ‘stop’

    Katy Perry’s court battle to buy an LA convent took a tragic turn on Friday.

    One of the nuns at at the center of the legal drama, Sister Catherine Rose Holzman, died in court in the middle of a hearing on the long-running matter.

    The 89-year-old was one of two nuns who had tried to sell the Los Feliz convent where they lived to a restaurant owner named Dana Hollister for just $44,000, as an alternative to selling it to the pop star.

    Katy Perry had offered to buy it from Archdiocese of Los Angeles for almost $15million in 2014.

    The singer’s deal was scuppered by the move.

    Perry and the Archdiocese successfully sued Hollister over her interference; they were awarded $15million between them in punitive damages in December.

    She and Sister Rita Callanan claimed to have documents from the Vatican which proved they were the rightful owners of the 1927-built Bernard Maybeck-designed compound, which they had lived in since 1978.

    They said the Archdiocese should not have become involved in the case.

    ‘You have stolen the property of the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart. Please archbishop… Do what is right in your heart,’ Callahan begged in the televised interview just before her friend’s death.

    They defended Hollister, who wanted to turn the 20,000 square-foot property into a boutique hotel with the nun’s blessing, but has now been forced to declare bankruptcy.”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5485611/Nun-center-Katy-Perrys-legal-battle-buy-LA-convent-dies.html

    1. Gustave Lytton

      Let me guess without reading the link… Archdiocese of Los Angeles is bankrupt following sex abuse lawsuits/settlements and was selling assets to pay for them, including the convent. Assets that most assumed didn’t belong to the archdiocese but legally do? Get in line.. up here individual church building funds were ruled to be diocesan assets and taken for settlement money. Though you were donating to fix the leaks in the roof? Hah, so sorry!

  15. Nephilium

    MikeS (I believe) who was looking at an Instant Pot for canning. Looks like the next version will have you covered.

    1. But Enough About Me

      I may finally have to break down and buy one.

    2. MikeS

      It was me. Thanks! Mrs. S’s b-day is late June, so this should be out just in time to get her one.

  16. Nephilium

    And really, you couldn’t modify this song?

  17. Gustave Lytton

    After watching part of Wolf Warrior II on the plane and Wolf Warrior on Netflix, a couple of thoughts

    a) Golan-Globus/Cannon Films style films live. WWII is one of the top grossing movies (by individual market) in both China and world wide.

    b) how incredibly stupid it was to change the villains of the remade Red Dawn from Chinese to North Koreans. They dgaf about offending anyone (they diss the Devil Dogs in the second one as cowards) and the movies are better for it.

    c) Celina Jade can sign my admission slip anytime.

    1. Gustave Lytton

      * to a): Chinese box office numbers are completely suspect.

    2. I think a big issue is that some Chinese companies have heavily invested in US companies. If they pull funding partly through production, it’s an issue. It’s not necessarily an issue with the market, it’s also the production en route.

  18. Rick C-137

    Well Glibs, in a less derpy, more personal story, my continuing quest for a different job is entertaining the endgame. I’ve done two phone interviews, a panel interview and now have been requested and provided 5 references who will answer a survey about me.

    Apparently the survey score will be averaged for comparison. It’s something new to me, but it gets me one step closer to opportunity

    1. DEG

      Congratulations!

      I need to join the Glib “get a new job” group.

      1. Number.6

        We need a map with pins and our status.

      2. Rick C-137

        The primary motivator for me was getting stuck on nights, past the promised return time, in addition to the job I’m applying to offering a great deal more money.

        1. AlmightyJB

          If it wasn’t for my extensive vacation time I would be looking. Hoping to retire in 5-7 years so job hunting just doesn’t seem worth it.

          1. Nephilium

            I’m giving up about 3 weeks paid vacation a year for my new job, but I’m a bit further away from retirement.

          2. Rick C-137

            Same here. I could if I stayed start banking a month and a little more of time off (half unpaid mind you) but I get to work from home, that’s a trade off I think I can deal with.

          3. C. Anacreon

            Two years ago I left the county hospital job I’d been in for close to thirty years. The hardest part was that I’d gotten to the point that I had nine weeks of paid vacation each year (if you included paid continuing medical education leave), as well as ten paid holidays and even a big bank of sick time. The position I left it for pays a monthly salary with no actual vacation spelled out (you take time off when you want to, but you need to make sure everything’s taken care of — and even when you do go away, it’s pretty much expected you will still be answering emails and available for calls in a pinch).

            Government jobs do have lots of perks. But when you know it’s time to leave a place — and I’d probably stayed there way too long to begin with — all the perks in the world aren’t a good enough reason to stick around.

          4. hayeksplosives

            This is true. I couldn’t swing a higher accrual rate at the new joint, but I got some banked vacation to start, and that is good enough.

            It’s high time I move on from the old place. I kind of want to move up the start date a bit, but in the end I’m probably better off spending more time here getting the house sorted and ready for selling before I move to temporary housing and leave the hubs in charge.

      3. westernsloper

        I need to join the Glib “get a new job” group.

        Ya, me too. I recently put in for a position that was kind of a sideways promotion. I was passed over for a younger applicant. I need a job where my razor sharp wit and rugged good looks would be appreciated and they will over look my glaring lack of other qualifications.

    2. AlmightyJB

      “provided 5 references who will answer a survey about me.”

      Ate you applying for President? Christ.

      1. Rick C-137

        Right? That was my first reaction, but on reflection I think it must be a close contest between me and some other candidate and this will be a deciding factor. Or the company is just really thorough.

      2. hayeksplosives

        I had to do the same. It was tough because I’ve had the same employer for 17 years, so everyone who really knows my skills and experience was from the current job. So I got one retiree, two guys who left of their own accord, one guy who is a gov’t customer (he looked it up to make sure it was OK for him to do), and then one guy from the future employer who’d already recused himself from the interview process because we are close personally and I had listed him as my “referral”.

        Then just yesterday I had a friend from another area looking for 5 references, so I provided one as a client.

        I guess the 5 reference survey is a new fad.

        1. Rick C-137

          I haven’t even been in the job market that long. I got my current manager, a former manger from a different department, the Exec Dir of a non prophet I volunteer at and a couple of college profs. But that really hit the bottom of my barrel. I can’t imagine what the next generation is going to have to give…

          It’ll probably involve a seance and a haruspex

          1. hayeksplosives

            Nah, just a DNA sample, a la Gattaca.

      3. westernsloper

        No kidding. I am not sure I know 5 people who would have a good thing to say about me. That would be easier to achieve if my Grandmas weren’t dead.

        1. But Enough About Me

          ^ SO MUCH THIS.

          Glad I’m retired.

        2. Waterfall Insurance

          I don’t have any references that are within the past 5 years, I am in a unique situation and it hasn’t helped trying to get a job.

      4. Festus

        That would be problematic for me (notorious bridge-burner and apt to flip off the owner that I am.) I tried for retraining in my mid-forties but nobody wants a middle-aged White guy no mo.

    3. Nephilium

      Congrats man. I just got the equipment for my new job, which starts on Monday.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Change is in the air!

      2. Rick C-137

        That’s excellent.

  19. Juvenile Bluster

    Meth: not even once

    NSFL, unless you want to read about a girl gouging out her own eyes while high on meth.

    1. Count Potato

      And it’s still one of the least cringeworthy things Cosmo has published.

  20. Rick C-137

    Back to regularly scheduled derp

    1. Grumbletarian

      Citing the SPLC? That’s a paddlin’.

    2. straffinrun

      They sure do like to use the word “embolden”.

      1. Festus

        Is that the thing that chicks on Instagram keep doing to their eyebrows? If it is, stop it! Just stop doing that!

  21. straffinrun

    Trump just called Maxine Waters a “low IQ individual.”

    1. westernsloper

      Well, he’s not wrong.

      1. straffinrun

        Someone will call him racist for it. Somehow that won’t be racist.

        1. Festus

          As I’ve mentioned on these boards before someday soon that marionette’s jaw will drop right off, mid-speech and then moths will fly out. Deplorable.

  22. Count Potato

    “”A Year in Hate and Extremism,” by the nonprofit Southern Poverty Law Center, looked at white supremacists among a range of hate groups and their activities.”

  23. hayeksplosives

    I knew Farrakhan was nuts, but I didn’t know how nuts til I read this column from Mark Steyn:

    Thursday

    And this follow-up one from Friday

    Farrakhan’s quotes sound like poorly executed parody.

    1. hayeksplosives

      A sample from his Million Man March speech:

      There in the middle of this Mall is the Washington Monument, 555 feet high. But if we put a one in front of that 555 feet, we get 1555, the year that our first fathers landed on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia, as slaves. In the background is the Jefferson and Lincoln Memorial. Each one of these monuments is 19 feet high. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president, Thomas Jefferson the third president, and 16 and 3 make 19 again. What is so deep about this number 19? Why are we standing on the Capitol steps today? That number 19, when you have a nine, you have a womb that is pregnant, and when you have a one standing by the nine, it means that there’s something secret that has to be unfolded.

      1. MikeS

        The fact that he gets any sort of positive attention from the MSM is disgusting.

        1. hayeksplosives

          I don’t recall CNN reporting any “numbers” from the Million Man March except that a bunch of people turned up. Kind of like how they quit interviewing Cindy Sheehan when they realized she was looney-tunes and a bit hateful and just showed her picture as a symbol of a grieving mom.

          1. I thought they only stopped interviewing her when Obama became President.

          2. Rick C-137

            It was a combo of her crazy and the fact that she was critical Obama’s continuation of the war while getting a peace prize.

          3. hayeksplosives

            Nah, they quit covering her at all when Obama became president, but they quit live interviewing her in 2006 when she went from being vocally anti-Israel to full-on anti-semetic.

          4. I don’t watch much CNN, so I wouldn’t know.

          5. Raven Nation

            That sounds right: I remember there was a brief news story about her on one of the networks about a month after Obama was elected. And the reporter’s take away line was something like, “Cindy, just go away.”

      2. Juvenile Bluster

        That’s… that’s a higher level of crazy than even I could’ve thought he was capable of.

        1. hayeksplosives

          But wait, there’s more! He also claims to get taken up to space on a regular basis to the Nation of Islam flagship to speak with Elijah Muhammad. That ship is called the Mother Wheel and is a:

          “heavily armed spaceship the size of a city that will rain destruction upon white America, but save those who embrace the Nation of Islam.”

          1. Rick C-137

            So standard schizophrenic then…

          2. straffinrun

            That’s what the illuminati wants you to think.

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          The NOI is basically Scientology for Black people. And they’re relatively sane compared to the Moorish Science Temple and the 5 Percenters.

          1. Rick C-137

            I’ve heard of the 5%ers but not the moorish science temple. That sounds derptastic…

          2. hayeksplosives

            I haven’t heard of the two you mention, and I’m kind of afraid to look them up.

            I did think of Scientology immediately when I heard about the spaceship angle. Farrakhan seems like the kind of guy who, if his following were smaller, would be able to persuade them all to go Heaven’s Gate style with him to the Mother Wheel. But as big as NOI is, I think sanity or at least self-preservation would prevail in at least enough of them to prevent total disaster.

      3. Rick C-137

        Holy crap that guy is batshit. I mean, as you said I knew that, but numerology is a different level.

        1. Festus

          My Grandad was into numerology. He also believed in a secret cabal of Jews and Freemasons running everything behind the scenes. He was also a stock piler of canned goods and army rations. Did I mention that he was a WWII vet that worked as a faller for forty years and got crowned at least three times? When the weather was good he’d go out to the backyard and practice his nunchuck skills. That fucker was hard core.

      4. Nephilium

        A local sports talk channel used bits of that speech all the time, especially when talking about the Browns (Bernie Kosar’s number was 19).

      5. Raven Nation

        1555? Umm, no.

    2. Were they in Nigerian pidgin?

    3. Count Potato

      He was no Harry Belafonte either.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUPxElXRTtQ

      1. Festus

        That’s cultural appropriation! *huffs and crosses arms revealing Toaist tatoo*

  24. Juvenile Bluster

    Question glibs: Any of y’all use a dash cam? If so, need recommendations.

    1. Aus

      Yes, I do. I think it was KK that asked about it previously on another thread. Too lazy to find which one.

      I use BlackVue brand, it’s fine, but it’s the only one I have used so can’t really say how it compares to others. I will probably buy another one for the other car. The model I have is a couple years old now, no idea what has changed since then.

      There are tons of videos/reviews on YT for dashcams, so do some research there.

  25. MikeS

    Ask Lachowski…he has some experience with a dash cam.

    1. MikeS

      That was for JB.

      1. Rick C-137

        MikeS is LatePBrooks sock…confirmed.

        1. MikeS and LatePBrooks are both Tulpa.

          1. Rick C-137

            We’re all tulpa

            stares at sock drawer

          2. Festus

            *Sock drawer stares back*

          3. Derpetologist

            Stare into the sock drawer long enough, and the sock drawer stares back at you.

            Nietzsche did not write much about socks.

          4. Festus

            Fair point but I’ll bet that he wore them.

  26. Derpetologist

    TDS: help find a cure

    ***
    In response to a pro-Trump dating website that launched last month, a liberal group has created a similar site for people who are critical of the president.

    The American Liberal Council (ALC) describes NeverTrump.Dating as “an all-inclusive, love-pairing dating site for those who oppose and resist President Donald Trump.”

    According to ALC founder Ted Brown, the site allows those who are like-minded to join together in opposition to “the corrupt, morally-bankrupt administration in power.”

    “Our democracy can still be saved,” Brown said. “But in order to do so, we must join together those with like-minded beliefs and stand for tolerance and justice for all. We need allies who will never back down to the corrupt, morally-bankrupt administration in power – and we can do that right here.”
    ***

    http://insider.foxnews.com/2018/03/10/liberal-group-launches-anti-trump-dating-site-never-trump-dating

    1. It’s not all-inclusive if they don’t include Trump supporters.

      1. Number.6

        It is if you consider Trump supporters to be subhuman.

    2. Just Say’n

      People who won’t socialize or date other people with different politics are missing out on a lot of good hate fucking

      1. straffinrun

        Merkel is all yours.

    3. Gustave Lytton

      There’s money to be made with metafiltering based membership on other dating websites.

    4. Rhywun

      Mood: bitter and delusional
      Turn ons: bandanas and rhee’ing

    1. Just Say’n

      Marxists ruin everything- even Marx

        1. Just Say’n

          Those bastards

        1. Just Say’n

          Oh, Germany

        2. straffinrun

          “Since the fall of the Berlin Wall, Germany has grappled with how to acknowledge a thinker as consequential and controversial as Marx.”

          Milwaukee is grappling with how to acknowledge Dahmer.

          1. hayeksplosives

            A good first step is probably to avoid putting up a giant bronze statue of him.

            Melt that shit down and make something useful out of it. And make money on it.

          2. Derpetologist

            fun fact: he gained his knowledge of anatomy as a medic in the army

            ***
            In January 1979,[57] on his father’s urging, Dahmer enlisted in the U.S. Army,[58] where he trained as a medical specialist at Fort Sam Houston before July 13, 1979, when he was stationed in Baumholder, West Germany, where he served as a combat medic in 2nd Battalion, 68th Armored Regiment, 8th Infantry Division.[59] According to published reports, in Dahmer’s first year of service, he was an “average or slightly above average” soldier.[60][61] Two soldiers attest to having been raped by Dahmer while in the army; one of whom stated in 2010 that while stationed at Baumholder, Dahmer had repeatedly raped him over a 17-month period, while another soldier believes he was drugged, then raped by Dahmer inside an armored personnel carrier in 1979.[62][63] Owing to Dahmer’s alcohol abuse, his performance deteriorated and, in March 1981, he was deemed unsuitable for military service and was later discharged from the Army.[64] He received an honorable discharge, as his superiors did not believe that any problems Dahmer had in the Army would be applicable to civilian life.[65]
            ***

            oopsy

          3. Ooh, another hero veteran.

          4. Derpetologist

            About 40 million Americans have been in the military. By probability, there will be a large number of scum bags.

          5. Put a plaque up noting where the cop had a golden opportunity to bring Dahmer in but didn’t.

        3. DEG

          i’ve thought about going to Trier, touring the Karl Marx Haus, and seeing if I could get kicked out by asking questions of the tour guide/staff about Marx.

          I haven’t done it yet.

          Note on the webpage for the museum, that they charge admission.

          1. hayeksplosives

            I will pay for your filthy capitalist ticket if you do it. That would be awesome!

    2. Winston

      Well isn’t Simon a Commie?

    1. straffinrun

      “Science is uninterested in the politics or philosophy of an issue – only the the evidence-based facts.”

      What if the evidence based facts are sexist and homophobic? Didn’t think of that, didja, smart guy?

      1. Just Say’n

        Woke Biology sounds like it would be a funny class to attend

        1. Gustave Lytton

          Lectures that don’t put you to sleep?

          1. Just Say’n

            It’s like having to read Greek mythology in your high school English class. No one believes this shit, but the stories are nuts

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that is nothing except parody.

      1. Rick C-137

        I really, really hope so.

        I mean last year I would have said troll, or Poe, but we live in fascinating and interesting times.

  27. MikeS

    MikeS is LatePBrooks sock…confirmed.

    The hell I am!

    1. Just Say’n

      That’s exactly what LatePBrooks would say

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Complete with malthreading

        1. R C Dean

          LatePBrooks CONFIRMED.

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw_XZ4EwjRY

    Cathy Newman is still a cunt.

    1. straffinrun

      56 years ago an offensive leaflet was produced. The horror.

    2. Just Say’n

      So what you’re saying is you’re a white supremacist

    3. Number.6

      I can’t even watch that video clip.

      1. Festus

        I got halfway through it for some reason or another. So what I’m saying is that I’m a sucker for punishment and will go back later to watch the latter half. (Yas, Mistress!)

        1. Number.6

          If she was stupid, it wouldn’t be so bad. That was a Teutoberger Forest level of ambush.

          1. Festus

            Agreed. She deserves every bit of the lunchroom humiliation that came her way after that disastrous Peterson interview. I felt kinda sorry for her at the time but no more. Christ, what an asshole!

    4. AlmightyJB

      She’s a Cunt.

  29. westernsloper

    Local story that is still in the local news

    In its order, issued Monday, the state’s Office of Funeral Home and Crematory Registration suspended operations at Sunset Mesa Funeral Directors after saying that cremated remains returned to one donor were analyzed by the family and found to be concrete, not human ashes.

    I am all for donating ones body to science/whatever but I think the dead persons family should profit with the broker getting a handling fee. Sounds like these people might have been selling off dead folk who did not agree to be donated. The original Reuters article sparked an FBI investigation.

    1. That also goes for organ donation. After I die, my estate owns my body. I’d like it to get paid.

      1. westernsloper

        I agree 100%. Maybe if the majority of the money went to the donor’s estate and not the funeral home/body broker, or the transplant hospital, there would not be such a temptation to sell off parts. Something something self ownership.

  30. straffinrun

    UK video game industry, home of Lara Croft, fights gender imbalance

    “According to a 2016 study, women fill only 19 percent of jobs, despite the fact that women make up half of British gamers.”

    1. Number.6

      “According to a 2016 study, women fill only 8 percent of farming jobs, despite the fact that women make up half of British consumers of food”

      1. straffinrun

        Look at you and your cherry picking.

      2. Just Say’n

        Is that statistic for real? Cause that’s pretty fucked up to learn how segregated our agricultural sector is. We should boycott food

        1. Number.6

          No, I pulled it out of my ass, but women will be ‘under-represented’.

          1. Just Say’n

            Just joking.

        2. Number.6

          A BBC report which I assume are in the right ball park:

          Figures from the Office for National Statistics suggest that there are 23,000 female farmers in the UK. There are 119,000 men, but nine or 10 years ago there were virtually no women farmers.

          1. Rhywun

            Zero to 23,000 in nine years? That tells me they’re probably all involved in “organic” and “non-GMO” swindles.

          2. Number.6

            Farming in the UK is highly mechanized, and new entrants tend to be academically credentialed. Certainly, when I was in the UK, farm management was almost exclusively a male preserve.

            Here’s the BBC article. It’s plausible, and you might be right about an effective coup in certain sectors of agriculture. I can’t see male hill-farmers whose jobs are still largely intensely manual being chased out of their farms by hordes or women.

        3. MikeS

          If the lefties need any help organizing their food boycott, I will certainly help.

          1. Just Say’n

            Once they run out of avocados during the boycott they’ll cave

          2. straffinrun

            What’s wrong with avocados?

          3. Just Say’n

            Are you going to defend its honor?

          4. westernsloper

            They are $2.99 ea here. That is what is wrong.

          5. straffinrun

            I don’t defend the honor of things I eat. It’s why I don’t white knight.

          6. Just Say’n

            I see what you did there

          7. Rick C-137

            I’ll give them free helicopter rides to the designated free speech zones and everything…

          8. hayeksplosives

            Just give ’em tickets to Venezuela. That place makes food boycotting effortless.

    2. Rhywun

      Ask China what “gender (I think they mean sex?) imbalance” is.

      1. straffinrun

        If you make everyone wear unisex clothes, it’s hard to tell sex from gender.

        1. Rhywun

          I didn’t see that in any part of China I’ve seen. Are you going back in time or something?

          1. straffinrun

            Yes, a few leaps backward in time.

          2. Rhywun

            Great!

        2. Rick C-137

          +28 approved haircuts

          1. AlmightyJB

            No Farrah hair? That’s Communism.

          2. Number.6

            No mullet? Sad!

          3. Rhywun

            They all look alike to me.

        3. hayeksplosives

          Last summer, the hubs and I were putting together a new grill outside. I was wearing jeans, and he was wearing his utilikilt. The instruction book was written entirely in symbols, no words. We got to a step that was prefaced with two outlined two legged figures like the one on men’s restrooms. I said, “Oh, honey, we can’t do this next step. It requires two people wearing pants.”

          1. You could have just both taken off your pants.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Probably would have led to the end of the grill-building exercise for the afternoon…

          3. Just Say’n

            Did you punch him in the nuts after that?

            Well played

          4. hayeksplosives

            I thought the verbal taunt was sufficient.

            Note that it was I doing the reading of the instructions. As a man, he doesn’t do instructions. Or maps.

          5. And you married him?

          6. hayeksplosives

            Lapse in judgment. But he’s fun.

    3. westernsloper

      “If I look to a range of other data, most women aren’t making games,” she added. “So you have all male team(s) developing female characters. That can be a big problem.”

      I worked with a guy who liked playing Tomb Raider on PSP. He would just make her climb stuff so he could look at her ass.

      1. AlmightyJB

        “That can be a big problem.”

        I’ll take Things I don’t give a fuck about for a thousand Alex.

      2. I like puzzle games and games with non-human characters. I always loved Q*bert.

      3. Akira

        Is it also a “problem” that almost all romance novel authors are women, but they are designing make characters?

      4. Urthona

        I do think believe for a second half of gamers are women.

        Bullshit.

        1. Urthona

          Not.

          Dammit

        2. Winston

          I thought I read that the female gamers mostly play mobile games.

          1. Urthona

            That’s a completely different market, but possibly.

      5. blackjack

        +1 “asking for a friend”

  31. Mustang

    Something about this shooting in Yountville doesn’t sit right. Can anyone confirm that the hostage-taker actually shot the victims? All I can find is that he exchanged a hail of gunfire with the police, the negotiators never made contact with him, and then they find him and the three hostages dead.

    It seems strange that he would let some people flee and then kill three of them and himself. It’s certainly possible that they were targeted specifically, but it seems more likely that the guy didn’t actually want to hurt anyone and was upset at his treatment and snapped.

    I want to see the timeline for all of this.

    1. MikeS

      I’ll get that to you as soon as we get everything in Vegas buttoned up.

      1. Mustang

        Thanks for the nutpunch. Blech.

        1. straffinrun

          End of March, up for some beers, Mustang?

          1. Mustang

            I am going to be out of town the last weekend of March. Good for before or after that.

          2. straffinrun

            I’ll send you an email later.

          3. Festus

            More like start of The Long March if straff has a hand in it.

  32. straffinrun

    Today is the 7 year anniversary of the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami. Scary natural disaster I’ve ever experienced. Remember, you can get snuffed out in a second, so drink a lot of beer.

    1. Derpetologist

      I’m on it.

      I read the Tohoku dialect described as “fill your mouth with mud and drop half the consonants”.

      That’s from Hokkaido Highway Blues by Chris Ferguson. Probably the funniest travel book in existence.

    2. Lachowsky

      May 25th 2011. F4 tornado. I was in a trailor home. The tornado was half a mile wide. I only survived because the yard had big pine trees that fell on the trailer and held it down. Absent those trees, 2 of my brothers and I would be dead men today.

      1. Derpetologist

        Or transported to a wondrous land of colorful midgets and wizards!

        1. straffinrun

          Damnit you and your nimble fingers, too.

      2. straffinrun

        And your little dog, too?

        1. Lachowsky

          I had tworked golden retrievers at the time. Maggie rode the storm out. Clutch disappeared. I don’t think he was killed, but I never saw him again. I searched the property for a carcass, but never found one. I assume he is in a better place now, because Clutch was a damn good dog.

      3. Lachowsky

        The trailer- http://imgur.com/baAFj6J

        And yes, those are pin oaks amd not pines. The other side had pine trees down on it. Therfore, I correct my previous statement. If it weren’t for pin oaks and pines, I wouldn’t be here to glib with y’all.

        1. straffinrun

          If anyone should be a tree hugger…

          1. Lachowsky

            Hug? Shit. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things those trees and I have done. It would make SF blush.

          2. Mustang

            What did Lachowsky say to the pin oak?

            Wood.

          3. Lachowsky

            More like, What did the pin oak give Lachowsky?

            wood

      4. westernsloper

        I was living in OKC when the big one went through Moore OK. Tornado’s are fucked up. So is OK, but that is not the point.

        1. Lachowsky

          As I understand it, Moore has been F5ed twice. There was one just a few years ago and the one you’re talking about. Moore is unlucky as hell.

          Also, I live about 35 miles from Oklahoma. I never go there.

          1. Derpetologist

            I used to live close to Wichita Falls, TX. It is famous for having the deadliest tornado in US history. Most of the deaths came from car accidents as people were fleeing from the tornado.

          2. R C Dean

            That tornado started in Vernon when I lived there. Scary.

          3. westernsloper

            A few years after the first F5 leveled Moore I was driving home and an F 3’ish followed the same path and crossed I-35 about a half mile in front of me. Everybody was stopped and pulling their hair out. I slowed down and waited for it to cross the freeway and then drove home in zero traffic because everybody just froze. I drank a few beers that night. I didn’t even hear about the last one. I finally escaped OK in 2006. Wiki says that F5 was in 2013.

          4. Lachowsky

            2013 sounds about right. Tornadoes are random as fuck. It’s crazy that Moore has had two of the most powerful ones in history in such a short period of time.

            I blame the fossil fuel industry.
            /AL Gore

  33. Lachowsky

    In the last thread I posted a video of the hailstorm we had this afternoon. As of right now, my roof is leaking.

    Being the supernatural Glib that I am, I foresaw this. I bought the metal to replace my roof yesterday. I will have it by wednesday. Good timing.

    1. Just have your orphans stick their fingers in the leaks.

    2. Playa Manhattan

      A metal roof?

      1. Lachowsky

        I have a shingle roof right now. The shingles are about 20 years old. I’m going to put metal on it. As I understand it, there is no reason not to. I spent 4500$ on the metal. to buy the shingles would have been around 3500

        1. Number.6

          That’s what we would have used but for the fact that the style of the house and the district would make it look weird.

          1. Lachowsky

            I get to pick what is the most cost effective and useful way to make my house work.

            reason #15,537 I live in the sticks.

          2. Number.6

            We’ll be out of here within 5 years. Don’t want to have a house that looks too out of line with everyone else.

          3. Lachowsky

            ^^^^^
            collectivist

            J/K
            The best way to live free in country that is not free, is to put oneself in a place where there aren’t many people.

          4. Number.6

            That’s the aim once the fledglings are gone. Then it’s south, but still not decided exactly where.

          5. Lachowsky

            #6. You are in connecticut?

          6. Number.6

            “Survive” is probably a better term, but yep.

        1. Lachowsky

          That actually looks really nice. I bought 26 gauge metal for mine. It’s colored a deep brown
          I think it will good.

          The copper is nice, but it probably more than I want to pay

        2. Playa Manhattan

          I certainly have.

          In no universe would that ever make sense for me.

        1. Number.6

          Get outta mah head!

    3. Number.6

      Tin roof, rusted.

  34. Winston

    Hmm… the Ontario PC leadership race is “under review”. I’m conflicted. On one hand I want Wynne to go but on the other I don’t think Ford can handle the election campaign. And if Elliott wins I will very suspicious that the “review” is honest.

  35. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    ***
    If you add up all the people born in the last 220 years, plus the number who have immigrated in that time, you get 545 million of which 472M were born here and 73M immigrated. So a little over half (55%) of all the Americans who have ever lived are alive now.
    ***

    https://babelniche.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/how-many-americans-have-there-been/

    1. westernsloper

      And if you turn 55 upside down, you get SS which means Trump is Hitler.
      -Louis Farrakhan

      1. Derpetologist

        But…he *likes* Hitler:

        ***
        Louis Farrakhan, the leader of the Nation of Islam, has repeated for a national television audience his description of Adolf Hitler as ”a very great man.”

        Mayor Koch of New York replied in a later segment of the same program Sunday that Democrats must reject ”the racism of Farrakhan and Jesse Jackson,” whom Mr. Farrakhan is supporting for President, if they are to win the Presidency in 1984.

        Interviewed in New York on the NBC News program ”Summer Sunday U.S.A.” by reporters at the Democratic National Convention in San Francisco, Mr. Farrakhan repeated some of his most controversial statements and challenged reporters to defend headlines such as ”Jackson Pal Hails Hitler.”
        ***

        https://www.nytimes.com/1984/07/17/us/farrakhan-again-describes-hitler-as-a-very-great-man.html

        1. westernsloper

          Ah shit I actually knew that. Kind of ruins my joke.

          1. hayeksplosives

            It’s still funny. Sounds like Music Man logic:

            Trouble, oh we got trouble,
            Right here in River City!
            With a capital “T”
            That rhymes with “P”
            And that stands for Pool,
            That stands for pool.
            We’ve surely got trouble!
            Right here in River City,
            Right here!
            Gotta figger out a way
            To keep the young ones moral after school!

          2. Festus

            You said “figger” and now I’m triggered ’cause it sounds like “nigger”…

        2. hayeksplosives

          It gets better:

          Farrakhan on (((them))): “Everybody talks about what Hitler did to you,” Farrakhan pointed out in 1994. “What did you do to Hitler? What made that man so mad at you?”

          1. Derpetologist

            I’ve sneezed out more brain cells than that window licker has used in his entire life.

  36. mikey

    “According to a 2016 study, women fill only 19 percent of jobs, despite the fact that women make up half of British gamers.”

    All of these sorts of things seem pretty consistent at 20/80 female/male. Google, the Peterson lectures I’ve seen.

    If you believe the SJWs that the difference is due systemic sexism, patriarchy or whatever then What They’re Saying is that there is a population of qualified, unemployed female engineers equal to 30% of the engineering workforce wandering the world unable to find work because they have a vagina.

    Anyone who has ever done any engineering hiring knows this is ridiculous. At my large engineering company I could reject just about any man I wanted without anything more than ” I don’t think he’s a good fit.” Reject a female or minority and I’d expect to have to spend time with management and HR explaining myself. Like all mgt strategies the idea was to make it so difficult that people just wouldn’t bother.

    1. Derpetologist

      Men make up over 90% of prisoners. It’s high time this disgraceful sexism was remedied. Oh wait:

      We should stop putting women in jail. For anything.
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/06/we-should-stop-putting-women-in-jail-for-anything/?utm_term=.52e7df02563d

    2. Lachowsky

      I have been working in maintenance departments at manufacturing facilities since I was 19 years old. In the past 11 years, I have worked with zero women doing the same job I do.

      It must be the patriarchy keeping women down.

      1. Derpetologist

        I worked in engineering (manufacturing) for about 3 years and met a grand total of 1 female engineer.

        In general, women don’t want to be around loud, dangerous machines and get their hands fucked up by working on them.

        1. RAHeinlein

          You were an engineer prior to current gig?

          1. Derpetologist

            Yes. BS in chemical engineering in 2007. I got a full scholarship, so I took it. The most bitter lesson of my life was learning that most jobs revolve around lying and ass-kissing. If you don’t like your job/boss, you must pretend to. That’s not my thing. What is the point of tip-toeing through life just to arrive safely at death?

            For me, being a mediocre soldier is more fun than being a mediocre engineer. And better for my waist line too.

          2. Number.6

            Hate to break it to you – you’re gonna meet exactly the same situation as you climb the ladder.

          3. Derpetologist

            I know. That’s why I avoided the officer track:

            The ‘U.S. military’s marathon, 30-year, single-elimination, suck-up tournament’ or ‘How America selects its generals’
            https://johntreed.com/blogs/john-t-reed-s-blog-about-military-matters/60879683-the-u-s-military-s-marathon-30-year-single-elimination-suck-up-tournament-or-how-america-selects-its-generals

            Whatever happens, I will find a way to survive, like the noble cockroach.

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Eh, the enlisted ranks aren’t much different. Retention point for E4 is what 8 years or 12 years?

          5. Derpetologist

            I didn’t sell my soul; I rented it for a generous fee.

            There’s always the French Foreign Legion.

            The Legion dies but does not surrender.

            Cool. That means I won’t have to sit through bullshit dept of hurt feelings classes.

          6. mikey

            I found mgt in the civilian defense industry to be more honorable and better to deal with than the military leadership (but I was in the Chair Force).
            Cost and schedule means actual performance matters.

    3. Tacit Rainbow

      Damn right. Same thing in my field. Just this last year we effectively stalked an applicant who showed promise who stopped responding because she wasn’t interested. Awkward.

    4. Gustave Lytton

      I’m curious how many small sized suppliers and vendors are women owned. In my personal experience, a significant number have the wife as the co-owner/head of the company while the husband actually runs things.

  37. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    Sagittarius and Sagittal crest share a root: the Latin word for archer. The crest on the skull looks like a bow, Makes sense.

  38. Come one, come me all! Here we go again! Yahoo Sports Tourney Pick’em group, Glibertarians!!!!!!
    Group ID: 52048
    Group Password: Podesta

    I’ll be posting more on this tomorrow and there’ll be a post about it on Monday and Tuesday. But get in early and often (3 brackets max per player) and see if you’re better at picking games than the rest of us. Prizes will be given out.

      1. hayeksplosives

        The group password is killing me. Nicely done.

      2. MikeS

        I’m in. I look forward to not finishing last!

  39. Winston

    So Rob Ford’s brother is now leader of the Ontario PCs party. Can he pull off a victory in June?

    1. Derpetologist

      Does he live in a van down by the river?

      1. Festus

        Prombably.

    1. Playa Manhattan

      You’re high

      1. Number.6

        I’m old.

        1. Count Potato

          So you’re saying you’re drunk?

          1. Derpetologist

            Not at all. He’s just tired and emotional.

            Stiff upper lip, jolly good, keep calm and carry on, etc

          2. egould310

            Right right. Well, then.

          3. Festus

            ‘E’s blud sugar is low! Give ‘im a biscuit and some tangy and this will all g’way!”

          4. Number.6

            That too. Curious train of thought that started with Tin Roof Rusted, which sent me to B52’s, thence to Sara Lee, their bassist, to Gang of Four, and Robert Fripp’s League of Gentlemen. A short but personal link from there to a pub I used to drink at, where Chrissie Hynde and Martin Chambers were regulars in the early 80’s when The Pretenders made that video (in my town – a couple of the extras in that video are people I know/knew) .

            That was just when I was getting back to my pre-college hobby of hanging around studios making myself useful at places like SARM and AIR London and Strawberry Studios in Manchester.

          5. egould310

            Oh, do tell.

          6. Number.6

            Volume-wise, there’s a whole lot I could write, but I was very much a distant observer of the UK music scene from about ’76 thru’ 84. Most ‘groupies’ hang around bands. I was interested in the business, and production, but never really wanted to turn it into a living, so I ended up being a guy who was known for helping out with electronica and knowing enough to not fuck stuff up, and not be drunk during gigs.

            Eventually, you end up being asked to help out in exchange for beer, lunch and a few quid when a band is in studios, and they need hands who aren’t going to drop the guitars during equipment changes and can be relied on to not fall over a lighting harness.

            Most hired-in roadies and handlers can be relied upon to fuck stuff up or put a mic stand thru’ an amp just when you can’t afford downtime, so I got a rep for at least not being a total fuckup, so I’ve met a bunch of famous and semi-famous musicians, often to hand them puke bags or a new bottle of Jack (Lemmy, I’m thinking of you, mate). Because there’s a lot of crossover between music and theater/movies I ended up also on the edge of the British visual arts scene, and got to be around those people too.

            I was never really starstruck; “fame” always looks like a bit of a prison to me, so I don’t think I was one of those fawning groupies. A few of the people I still keep in touch with, but for the most part, I wouldn’t be remembered by them.

          7. egould310

            Cool. Thank you.

          8. Unfortunately, The League of Gentlemen does not seem to be on DVD. 😡

  40. Derpetologist

    A question for our “lavender” glibs:

    How do politics affect your love life? Do you try to hide your beliefs or do they not matter?

    1. Count Potato

      Lesbian libertarians?

      1. Derpetologist

        There are no female libertarians, hence there are no lesbian libertarians,

    2. grrizzly

      It’s different when you’re in a long-term relationship. I don’t even talk much about politics to my partner of 13 years. We know we agree on the completely non-controversial stuff-like the Democrats are pure evil. That’s about it.

    1. Somehow still alive.

      1. CPRM

        I’ve got a conundrum at work; a full-time position is opening opening up, but it’s a 5am shift, which going out that early round these parts can be dangerous for half the year (snow and ice and all that) also it would change my student loan repayment from 0 (and able to be forgiven in two years because of being too poor to repay because I learned nothing in of value in college) to having to pay it back. Also the shift would include human interaction, which I’m not good at.

        1. Festus

          If you asked the question you are probably sure of the answer but what the fuck do I know?

        2. Nephilium

          I’m assuming better pay for the full time position? Would the higher pay make up for the college loan payments? Does it get you closer to your goals? Should I continue asking questions?

          /Judge

          1. CPRM

            Would the higher pay make up for the college loan payments?

            That’s where I’m stuck, I don’t really know at this point if I’d better off with the higher pay plus having to pay off the loans or lower pay avoiding the loans. I mean, that makes me feel like a POS to not pay off the loans, but I’m just playing by their rules. I dunno.

          2. Number.6

            I’d be very tempted to hold fire for a couple of years so you’re free and clear, unless the new gig really pays well. Look at it this way – you’ll be one more small blemish on the scam of college loans. Once that’s out of the way you can concentrate on being fleeced to subsidize the next generation.

            Channel your inner welfare queen, and get the debt forgiveness.

          3. Nephilium

            If it’s in the contract to allow you to not pay off the loans, that’s following the rules. I can’t help on specifics, as I’m a college drop out, so I never took out the loans. But if you’re better off staying part time for two years to get forgiveness on loans, and then look for the next step up, that may be the better option for you.

    2. CPRM

      Well, Festus seems to be here as well, but hasn’t caught on.

      1. Festus

        Hey, a man’s gotta eat. So I missed sumpin’?

    3. MikeS

      Here

  41. Count Potato

    In a speech, Trump was talking about the death penalty for drug dealers and “going after” drug companies. Putting aside the whole “opioid epidemic” is bullshit. People who die from overdoses is their fault (yes, I know drugs would be safer if they were legal), and drug companies are legal businesses. Not that HRC would have been any better. But I don’t see this as a winning strategy. There might be some 37d chess with tariffs, or some hope sitting down with Haircut Boy might work. But I see no upside from this doubling down on the drug war. During his campaign, Trump said he was “100%” for medical marijuana. So he should go with that. I don’t see any upside with with this opioidphobia rhetoric. His back-broken blue-collar base seems like they would be way more harmed by restricting the medical use of opioids, than office-dwelling blue-state progressives.

    1. CPRM

      He’s a 90s democrat, better than the alternative, but still not good.

  42. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    reluctant means struggling against in Latin

    [insert “the more you know” gif here]

    1. CPRM

      What about recalcitrant? I don’t know what root that comes from.

      1. Derpetologist

        “digging your heels in”

        calx = heels in Greek

        Google etymology is your friend

      2. Derpetologist

        stubborn may share a root with the word stump, as in something that is hard to move

      3. CPRM

        Google etymology is your friend

        Well if it were of any concern to me I would indeed look it up, I was just being flippant. Jasper crimony.

        1. Derpetologist

          Forgive me. I have a severe case of ass burgers and often cannot tell when people are being serious. The most common phrases I hear are “I’m kidding” and “I’m joking”.

          1. CPRM

            My burgers of the ass are less severe; I think. Although I’m a hermit shut in who mostly only talks to people on a libertarian website, so maybe not that less severe.

  43. Festus

    Fellow Glibs! Daylight savings time is upon us so let’s raise a glass to one less hour of sleep tonight and more lost time incidents! This is “The Cosby” of Government planning and I don’t know why we are still doing this.

    1. straffinrun

      Does that mean links will be posted at a different time?

  44. CPRM

    ONE DAY AT THE KREMLIN
    A Path To Wellness Prequel Story

    INT–KREMLIN–DAY

    Vladimir is resting comfortably in his chair in the vast open room. He has on a pair of headphones, from which emanate sounds of screams and pain. The large office doors open and a courier brings in a letter. Vladimir takes the letter and and motions for the courier to leave. Vladimir opens the envelope and reads the letter

    INSERT: THE LETTER IS FROM SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON AND READS: Dear Vladimir, President Obama will have more flexibility to talk after the election. Then we can do our uranium deal. Hillary.

    Vladimir crumples up the letter and raises his fist in celebration. The Scene ends on a freeze frame.

    1. Number.6

      I’d imagine it’s more likely he’d do that triumphant ‘chain pull’ motion like the Success Kid meme.

      1. CPRM

        I was going for that 80s vibe

        1. Number.6

          1. That works
          2. It’s your gig. Nonna mah beezwax.

        2. straffinrun

          Finally got some consecutive minutes free to read the latest Path. Well played. Well played.

          1. CPRM

            Tell me what you liked about it and none of what you didn’t like. I like being praised.

          2. straffinrun

            That format takes a little while to get used to, but not a problem. Buddy travel/Mentos commercial feel. My guess is a Thelma and Louise style ending.

          3. CPRM

            Oh no, I’m not sure how this ends, but it’s an 80s movie through and through, so the good guys win and get a freeze frame high-five at the end.

          4. Number.6

            Like this?

          5. CPRM

            Fuckin’ A Number six get’s it, and he’s not a number , he’s a free man!

        3. Festus

          I was thinking more along the lines of this – https://youtu.be/C7G1-IR2rrU

  45. Derpetologist

    amusing

    In 1963, an American professor was arrested in Moscow on trumped up charges of espionage. Krushchev had to personally intervene to get him released. He wasn’t mad about arresting an American on trumped up charges; he was mad because the KGB did it without permission.

    https://www.nytimes.com/1991/11/26/obituaries/frederick-barghoorn-80-scholar-detained-in-soviet-union-in-1963.html

    ***
    Frederick C. Barghoorn, a longtime Yale professor who became the center of an international incident when Soviet officials jailed him in Moscow on espionage charges and released him only under pressure from President John F. Kennedy, died Wednesday night.

    He was 80 years old. He died at Willows Convalescent Home in Woodbridge, Conn. The cause of death was respiratory failure, his family said.

    A well-known scholar on the Soviet Union, Mr. Barghoorn was seized in 1963 as he was completing a trip in that country made to conduct interviews for a book.

    As he later recalled, he arrived in front of the Metropole Hotel when a stranger walked up and handed him a roll of papers. Before he could examine them, Soviet officers instantly appeared, clapped on handcuffs and whisked him off to Lubyanka prison. He was held incommunicado for days. When word of his arrest got out, American diplomats protested and demonstrations were held at Yale and elsewhere.

    President Kennedy, in what would be his last White House news conference, denounced the action as “unjustified.” He declared that Mr. Barghoorn “was not on any intelligence mission of any kind” and called the detention “a very serious matter.” The President said American relations with the Soviet Union were “greatly damaged” and warned that impending wheat sales were jeopardized.
    ***

    Pfft! Let the stupid shits starve. We were selling wheat to our mortal enemy?!

    1. Number.6

      You might be able to stand it if you watch this one

      1. CPRM

        Um, only OMWC is allowed to be pedo here.

    2. CPRM

      Is this supposed to be parody or serious? I don’t know anymore.

      1. Festus

        Chicks with a ukelele are some fucked up shit. Fucked up shit! *runs away screaming into a thunderstorm*

        1. CPRM

          …And Festus was never seen again, the bathrooms remained unclean, never to be cleaned again…a single tear fell from CPRM’s stoic face…

          1. Festus

            into the pristine porcelain sink. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror and then stared at the ceiling fan (also clean as a whistle) and howled “Why? How did this happen?” He sunk to the immaculately clean tiles and assumed a fetal position. ” Why?” He intoned to no one, “Why did Festus take the day off?”

        2. CPRM

          *not making fun of your profession, just writing a funny scene.

    3. Derpetologist

      things I read often on online dating profiles

      -sarcastic
      -old soul
      -must love dogs
      – no hook ups
      -no Republicans
      -no gun owners
      – no short men

      Meh. They should just google the nearest jail. The men might be illiterate, penniless, felons, but hey, at least they aren’t short.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbG05ePWRQE

      1. CPRM

        Yeah, mentioning me being a libertarian in dating profiles probably cuts down the volume a lot, but also fuck them if they can’t handle it, I is what I is *finger snap*

        1. Derpetologist

          Mine says: I’m a not a liberal, but I was in the Peace Corps. Yes, the Peace Corps- fighting fire with marshmallows since 1961

          1. KSuellington

            I really want the t shirt with that slogan. Hilarious man.

          2. Derpetologist

            I stole the joke from the movie Toys starring Robin Williams.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkNV2nWUVYw

      2. Festus

        Bah, should have tried harder. Pull themselves up by the bootstraps, as it were.

    4. Rope Snake

      This is really weird. If it weren’t a NYT video, I’d think it were making fun of feminist rhetoric.

      1. Rope Snake

        And.. ahem.. associated histrionics.

    5. Trigger Hippie

      I’ll sum it up for you

      *grabs ukulele*

      I’m undateable

      1. Festus

        *pulls out Jew’s Harp*

    6. Plinker762

      From the comments:

      “Make sure to marinate yourself frequently so your many cats will have a tastier meal when you die alone”