STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE, BETTER THAN “DEAR PRUDENCE”

STEVE SMITH SHOW SENSITIVE SIDE – GET NEW PET BUNNY!

STEVE SMITH SEE BIG STONE HEAD FRIEND NEED TIME OFF. HIM AT GARAGE, GET WORK DONE. SO STEVE SMITH COME IN AND GIVE ADVICE, JUST LIKE FRIEND ZARDOZ DO! STEVE SMITH START WITH EASY ONE – “DEAR PRUDENCE“. SHE SILLY PERSON. STEVE SMITH GIVE BETTER ADVICE THAN THAT!

Q. Unfriendly co-worker: I work with a small team of six women. Most of us have worked together for years, except “Page.” Page has made it explicit she does not want to be friends; she wants to do the minimum required of her and go home. She is not interested in having lunch together, celebrating milestones together, or helping anyone out (for example, in the wake of an unexpected family tragedy). We tend to work around Page given her work ethic and attitude. But recently our headquarters moved, which means a longer commute for us all. Four of us live within a similar area so it makes sense to carpool. Page lives in the far end of that area. She wants in on the carpool. I’d rather sleep in an extra 15 minutes than deal with Page. I am not inclined to go the extra mile for a co-worker who will not give an inch, but I still have to work with her. How do I tell her nicely there is no way in hell?

A. STEVE SMITH UNDERSTAND DISCOMFORT BEING IN VEHICLE WITH SOMEONE NOT LIKE. WHY, STEVE SMITH CAUSE MUCH DISCOMFORT IN RV, CAMPER AND BUS. BY CAUSE MUCH DISCOMFORT, MEAN RAPE OCCUPANTS. STEVE SMITH THINK BEST APPROACH DIRECT ONE – TELL “PAGE”, “NO, WE NO WANT. RATHER GET MAULED BY GRIZZLY OR BIT ON NOSE BY RABID BADGER!” IF THAT NO WORK, HIT “PAGE” OVER HEAD WITH BIG ROCK. IT WHAT STEVE SMITH DO.

DRIVE OWN CAR!

 

Q. The rich and famous: Growing up, I had a friend, “Becky.” We’ve always kept in touch, although we live in different cities now and aren’t as close as we used to be. Becky is a low-to-medium-famous person. She’s not a huge star, but most people would at least recognize her name. This summer, I’m getting married to my girlfriend, and we’re having a fairly big wedding. Becky was on the initial guest list, but I’m having second thoughts. I worry my wife and I will be overshadowed at our own wedding because people will be so focused on the celebrity there. In fact, when I talked to my future mother- and sister-in-law about the guest list, the first question they asked was if my famous friend Becky could come. I love Becky, but I also know she loves attention, and wouldn’t be able to resist “stealing the show” if given the opportunity. Would it be OK not to invite her? And if I don’t, do I owe her an explanation?

A. STEVE SMITH UNDERSTAND WANT SPECIAL DAY TO BE OWN. STEVE SMITH KNOW WHAT MEAN TO BE CELEBRITY AND CAUSE DISTRACTION. STEVE SMITH SHOW UP AT CAMPGROUND, EVERYONE TRY TAKE PICTURE. STEVE SMITH HAVE TO DISCOURAGE THAT. BY DISCOURAGE THAT, MEAN RAPE ALL PHOTOGRAPHERS AND EAT CAMERAS. STAY AWAY FROM MINOLTA. GIVE BAD GAS. SO STEVE SMITH THINK YOU HAVE TWO OPTION; 1. NO INVITE “BECKY”, 2. INVITE “BECKY”, BUT PAIR UP AT TABLE WITH STEVE SMITH. STEVE SMITH HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH CELEBRITIES WHEN HIM GO HOLLYWOOD AS STEPHEN SMYTHE. BY HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH CELEBRITIES, MEAN RAPE CELEBRITIES.

STEVE SMITH FUN AT WEDDINGS!

ON SECOND THOUGHT – STEVE SMITH NO WANT SIT FOR WEDDING PICTURES. WASTE TIME.

STEVE SMITH BLINK…SO WHAT?!

SO STEVE SMITH SAY GO WITH NO INVITE. IF MIL AND SIL COMPLAIN, HIT OVER HEAD WITH BIG ROCK.

 

STEVE SMITH GLAD HE HELP!

Comments

191 responses to “STEVE SMITH GIVE ADVICE, BETTER THAN “DEAR PRUDENCE””

  1. Zunalter

    Sounds like I need to develop some rock-hoisting muscles.

    1. Maybe we should sell a line of WWSSD dumbbells and curl bars?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I have a great collection in my Backyard, business opportunity?

      2. Zunalter

        As long as they function in the manner of shakeweights, I’m in.

        1. Bobarian LMD

          MORE LIKE RAPEWEIGHTS, AND YOU IN, WHETHER YOU WANT TO BE OR NOT.

      3. Mr Lizard

        “WWSSD“

        The answer tends to be redundant tho…

        1. A binary solution set – HIT ON HEAD WITH BIG ROCK or RAPE.

          1. Bobarian LMD

            HA, SWISSY MEAN AND, NOT OR.

          2. wdalasio

            Or? Whatever happened to the power of and?

          3. ruodberht

            Disjunction is inclusive by default.

      4. Pope Jimbo

        I envision a deadlift bar in the WWSSD line of exercise equipment that is a standard universal bar that is a) glued to the floor and b) has hidden handcuffs that shoot out and lock the lifter to the bar in a bent over position.

    2. Caput Lupinum

      Or befriend a certain giant rock that can hoist himself.

      1. He’d just spit out some guns at you.

        Problem solved.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          As long as CLEANSING takes place.

          1. Caput Lupinum

            Oh, by the by, Gladwin comes from “glaed wine”, Saxon for good friend and had nothing to do with Welsh peasantry. Any Welsh with that name are Englishman that went native, the poor sods.

          2. Number.6

            That’s one of the interesting things about language, this looks like an example of convergence.

            Maybe the Welsh were listening in while the fyrd were digging in and were speculating on the socioeconomic status of their opponents.

            Saxon: Hey friend, pass me that maul willya?
            Welshman: Fuckin’ peasants!

    3. trshmnstr

      GlibFit, the best way to develop your rock hoisting muscles.

  2. Q Advice to the second guy:

    Join Penis Pumpers Anonymous.

  3. robc

    Free trade consists simply in letting people buy and sell as they want to buy and sell. It is protection that requires force, for it consists in preventing people from doing what they want to do. Protective tariffs are as much applications of force as are blockading squadrons, and their object is the same—to prevent trade. The difference between the two is that blockading squadrons are a means whereby nations seek to prevent their enemies from trading; protective tariffs are a means whereby nations attempt to prevent their own people from trading. What protection teaches us, is to do to ourselves in time of peace what enemies seek to do to us in time of war.

    — Henry George

    /Look, I just quoted George and it had nothing whatsoever to do with the SLT
    //bolding mine

    1. Just Say’n

      George was a big free trader at a time when even liberals had reservations about free trade

      1. robc

        In throwing open our ports to the commerce of the world we shall far better secure their safety than by fortifying them with all the “protected” plates that our steel ring could make. For not merely would free trade give us again that mastery of the ocean which protection has deprived us of, and stimulate the productive power in which real fighting strength lies; but while steel-clad forts could afford no defense against the dynamite-dropping balloons and death-dealing air ships which will be the next product of destructive invention, free trade would prevent their ever being sent against us. The spirit of protectionism, which is the real thing that it is sought to defend by steelplating, is that of national enmity and strife. The spirit of free trade is that of fraternity and peace. …

        And a republic wherein the free-trade principle was thus carried to its conclusion, wherein the equal and unalienable rights of men were thus acknowledged, would indeed be as a city set on a hill.

        Not entirely accurate, unfortunately, but still the right idea.

        1. Just Say’n

          Careful. Henry George is the Nick Gillespie of thinkers around these parts

          1. Caput Lupinum

            Nonsense. George had a lot of great ideas that were overshadowed by one monumentally stupid idea that he had to torture all of his other ideas to support. He’s more like Welch than Gillespie.

    2. Gadfly

      What protection teaches us, is to do to ourselves in time of peace what enemies seek to do to us in time of war.

      The problem with this line of argument is that blockades only work on nations which do not practice protection. If the threat of blockade is real, then protectionism is a wise course of action. A lot of the protectionism in the US is actually a relic of a bygone national security policy that made sense in a previous era. Protecting the steel and shipping industries made sense when the US did not have a standing army or a large navy and would need the ability to create these quickly by appropriating domestic industry. Now that we do have a large army and a large navy, and have no fear of blockade, these policies can be abandoned. They were not purposeless, but like so many things government have outlived their usefulness.

    3. Lachowsky

      The steel tariff shit Trump is pushing is monumentally stupid.

      I will benefit from it, I guess. I doubt very much as my plant is already running at 100% capacity.

      It’s still monumentally stupid. And it’s sure to be repealed at some point in the future. So, what’s going to happen while it’s in place. I suspect a lot more steel will have to be made here in the U.S. That will require mills to reopen and perhaps some new ones built. A workforce will have to be hired and trained. All that is good for me now, but what happens 2,4,6, or 8 years from now when the tariff is removed?

      Well, a lot of those plants will close, a lot of people will lose their jobs, amd we will be right back where we are now, except for worse.

      Tariffs are stupid. Trump is also stupid if he really thinks Tariffs are a good way to boost the economy.

      1. Zunalter

        Tariffs are stupid. Trump is also stupid if he really thinks Tariffs are a good way to boost the economy.

        FTFY.

  4. All of the wedding etiquette questions are so tedious. Do what you fucking want to do–it’s a day for you and the person you’re marrying. All of the “I want to do this, but, like, IS THAT OK?” drives me up a wall.

    1. I like the hit on head with big rock advice, about complaining inlaws.

      1. I agree. STEVE SMITH delivers–and not just RAPE

    2. Caput Lupinum

      The wedding is for the wife, the reception is for the family, the honeymoon is the husband’s. Not absolute, but a decent rule of thumb to let you know if a decision is a good idea or not in the planning.

      1. Just Say’n

        I would say the honeymoon is still for the wife, but the ‘activities’ are more so for the husband

        1. Activities as in getting hammered and embarrassing oneself?

          1. Just Say’n

            Yes, that is exactly what I mean. What else would you want to do with your new wife other than get wasted?

          2. Can’t think of anything.

          3. The Last American Hero

            Get your final blowjob?

      2. Wrong!

        It’s obviously all for me. All the time 😉

        But really, whoever is paying for it calls the shots at the end of the day.

        1. Caput Lupinum

          Well he who pays the piper calls the tune, and all that. But most women care far more about the actual ceremony than the men, and the reception should be focused around the family and friends; even if it makes the bride or groom a little unhappy, if it makes it better for the guests is better to capitulate. Whiny in-laws at a reception are fat worse than not having to deal with some other minor inconvenience. And to Chesterton’s point above, yes the honeymoon should keep the missus happy, but if a manis going to put his foot down that’s generally the safest place to do it.

          Of course none of that applies if you’re sane and dealing with emotionally stable adults, but those kind of people don’t write in to advice columns, do they?

          1. Of course none of that applies if you’re sane and dealing with emotionally stable adults, but those kind of people don’t write in to advice columns, do they?

            Truer words were never spoken, dude.

      3. R C Dean

        The wedding is for the wife‘s mother, the reception is for the wife’s family to show off to their relatives, the honeymoon is the husband’s. for the wife to brag about to her friends

        1. egould310

          Damn. Nailed it v

    3. Just Say’n

      The only thing that is NOT Ok for a wedding is not having an open bar. If I attend a wedding where there is not an open bar, I’m taking money out of the envelope

      1. I’ve yet to attend a wedding that had a truly open bar. The closest was bottomless, local microbrews–but with a cash bar.

        1. robc

          I don’t think I have ever been to one with a cash bar.

          Plenty without bars at all, but not one with a cash bar.

          No wait, there was kinda one that had a cash bar, but it was technically supposed to be alcohol-free, but the groom’s family kept hitting up the country club bar that was outside the reception hall.

          1. Caput Lupinum

            Most I’ve been to have been open bars. The only weird one was an open bar as long as you wanted well liquor or beers like Coors or Budweiser. If you wanted something good you’d have to pay out of pocket. Wasn’t the worst set up really, the couple saved a bunch of money, and after a few good drinks I didn’t care about drinking crap beer for free.

        2. LJW

          The bar staff at my wedding mistakenly said the bar closed at 7 instead of 10. People panicked and started ordering 2 or 3 drinks at a time. Then they fixed the time long story short, we had a lot of drunk guests.

          1. Bob Boberson

            I’ve been to weddings where the open bar ends at a certain time or once a certain dollar amount has been reached. It always results on a run on alcohol and drunker guests than if the bar stayed open until the end of the reception…..I’m sure there is an economics lesson in there somewhere.

        3. egould310

          My wife and I got married at The Flamingo in Vegas 15 years ago. I sat in the sports book in my tux, watched Ohio State beat MSU, cashed my betting slip ($200), finished my bourbon, and walked over to the chapel. Got married to my beautiful bride.

          We didn’t have a reception. The whole wedding party and guests went back to the bar next to the sports book. My dad, god bless him, told the bar staff to start a tab. He paid the tab. Probably a $4000 tab. Maybe more.

      2. Damn right son. Why else would I go to weddings but to get hammered and embarrass myself?

      3. trshmnstr

        We went to Sam’s club and spent a few hundred on beer and wine, all Texas origin. We set out a bunch of basins filled with ice and put a couple cases of beer and a bottle of white wine in each. The red wine was sitting right next to the basin.

        Sooooooooo much cheaper than they quoted us for open or even cash bar, and the only sacrifice was hard liquor.

    4. RAHeinlein

      Agreed. The short answer to that question is – ask your future wife.

    5. LJW

      I would have loved to have a celebrity at my reception hogging all the attention. I barely remember my reception because I was so busy greeting and thanking people on top of all the other traditional wedding stuff.

    6. Zunalter

      Yes, I am too socially malcontent to care what anyone else thought about my wedding. If they were unhappy with any of our decisions, they were welcome to leave and take their toaster oven with them.

    7. Tundra

      I hate weddings. If the time comes, I’m going to bribe Spawn 2 and her fiancé to elope somewhere exotic.

    8. Mad Scientist

      Elvis was the center of attention at my wedding.

      1. egould310

        Elvis Grbac?

        1. LJW

          I’m still mad they passed up Gannon for Grbac.

          1. egould310

            I freakin’ loved Gannon as a Raider fan.

          2. Bobarian LMD

            Gannon couldn’t actually run the plays that the sideline was calling in, but he could often turn those broken plays into a lot.

            Grbac had an incredible arm and delivery, but would make stupid decisions when things got hot.

            If they could have put Gannon’s head and feet on Grbac, he’d have been the GOAT.

            But the coaching staff had to decide to change the offensive scheme and some personnel, or try to coach Grbac.

            In hindsight, they obviously chose wrong.

    9. Akira

      I don’t think I could ever be induced to go through all the bullshit of planning a wedding. I’ve see so many people make themselves miserable with all the meticulous details – the venue, the food, the cake design, the music, the outfits for the groomsmen and bridesmaids, the color of the streamers on the damn wall…

      If I ever got married, here’s how it would have to go: small venue, invite ~15 of my closest family and friends and ~15 of hers, some food that doesn’t suck and some music that doesn’t suck. People can wear whatever the fuck clothes they want. Done.

    10. Lachowsky

      I eloped
      No guests, no ceremony. I was at an Amish craft store in Eureka Springs looking at things with my wife to be. I was talking to the store owner and it came up that we were planning on getting married soon. He said he was a JP, and offered to do it for us. We said sure and got married right there. Cost nothing.

      I recommend this method.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Second. We did it at the courthouse. No witnesses required. Judge was nice, did the formalities in short order, and judge’s clerk handed us paper to take downstairs to file with the County Clerk. Then went out to a favorite restaurant.

        Much preferred it to my sister’s wedding which was an elaborate multiday affair. I was DD so wasn’t drinking either. Food was meh.

  5. Gordilocks

    I am not inclined to go the extra mile for a co-worker who will not give an inch

    STEVE SMITH PURSUE HIKERS MANY EXTRA MILES AND GIVE THEM MANY EXTRA INCHES.

    1. Mr Lizard

      *claw clap*

    2. Spartacus

      Time for “Page” to learn about karma.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Shouldn’t be surprised if no one wants to car pool with her, but at the same time, fuck the whiner. Oh, Page is an a-hole, she wants to do her job to whatever the standard is and isn’t interested in turning work into her social life. Wah! I know exactly those sort of controlling biddies that would be upset by that.

        1. Number.6

          ::Looks around, tries to identify ‘Page’ among the Glibertariat::

          1. Tundra

            Are you joking? Find the one who isn’t Page.

            Except for that whole carpool thing, I could be Page.

          2. Number.6

            ::Experiences a ‘Being John Malkovich’ moment::

          3. Gordilocks

            The dropped off onto the side of The New Jersey Turnpike moment?

          1. Tundra

            I would definitely carpool with her.

          2. Number.6

            I was going to comment on how wooden her acting is, but I guess, the wood would be somewhere else if you were carpooling.

        2. wdalasio

          I had a similar take. It sounds like five out of the six have worked together for years and Page is the outsider. Maybe she’s a bitch and maybe she’s just not a part of their clique.

  6. Gordilocks

    A friend of mine sent me this pleasant surprise earlier today. I’m sure someone here has heard of this Mark Twain-ish peddler of modern aphorisms , but he’s new to me.

    Some selections –

    “The Revolutionary treats the oppressed as the defense lawyer treats the client; under no circumstances are they to speak for themselves.

    Few enjoy violence neat, but stir in a little righteousness and it makes a popular cocktail.

    The greater good is distant and speculative: the lesser evil required to achieve it is immediate and certain.

    Problematic, against all odds, has become a useful word, as a sign to stop reading.

    This guys book is a gold mine.

    1. Lachowsky

      “The Revolutionary treats the oppressed as the defense lawyer treats the client; under no circumstances are they to speak for themselves.

      If this spent exactly characterize the modern left, then I don’t know what does.

      1. Gordilocks

        The Modern left is so disconnected from most of the working class, and won’t admit to itself that in many western countries, that most of them do not understand ‘class’ doesn’t mean today what it meant in the 19th century.

        1. Gordilocks

          Oh jeezus the edit fairy would probably launch torpedoes on that hot mess.

          My conversational thoughts to text syntax translator needs tuning. Jesus.

  7. Lachowsky

    It’s like STEVE SMITH on your wedding day?

    1. Tundra

      Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.

      Just like STEVE SMITH!

      1. Bob Boberson

        Dang it, I’m too slow

        1. Hope you are faster than her…

          1. Bob Boberson

            I can’t quite make out the authors name, I’m assuming STEVE SMITH publishes under an alias?

          2. Not sure it is a pen name. NOT IN ALL CAPS, SO I AM DOUBTFUL IT IS STEVE SMITH.

    2. Bob Boberson

      Well, [STEVE SMITH] has a funny way of sneaking up on you
      When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
      And [STEVE SMITH] has a funny way of helping you out when
      You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
      In your face

      1. I shan’t be clicking …I don’t know whether to cowbutt, catbutt or shun you, for that, Q.

        1. What’s with all the Swedes?

    1. LJW

      But can a 5 oz. bird carry a 1 LB. coconut?

      1. No.

        But a 1 lb coconut is tiny, the average weight is 1.44 kilograms, or 3.168 pounds.

      2. It could grip it by the husk.

        1. But it won’t have enough lift.

          1. trshmnstr

            You know who else made an exception for those with European ancestry and had something that didn’t generate enough lift?

          2. Number.6

            This level of obscurity is its own punishment

          3. Private Chipperbot

            Ah, but he didn’t say fly. He said carry.

          4. Even when lifting weights, it can’t lift enough with its hollow bones to pick it up.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Dear Steve Smith-

    When I see a photo of Dear Prudie, I kind of get a tingly urge to hate fuck her. Is that wrong?

    ps- whycome you no have Prudie photo in post. Now I’m sad.

    1. I suspect that STEVE SMITH is not as computer savvy as ZARDOZ.

      Let me see here…library…

      Ah, here you go:

      1. Akira

        Oh yea, definite would. Looks like she’s got just the perfect amount of extra meat on her bones without straying into BBW territory (not that there’s anything wrong with that if that’s your thing).

      2. Just Say’n

        Would and not with hate, either. She seems like she’d be grateful

        1. Just Say’n

          or, rather *gracious*

          1. trshmnstr

            Dear Prudie,

            I was hate fucked by a man I just figured out owns an orphan mine. Is it appropriate to give him the gift of an orphan, or should I stick with the safer gift of the gun?

            Sincerely,
            Myself

          2. Just Say’n

            That sounds like a question teed-up for Zardoz

        2. Lachowsky

          Fat girls try harder.

          1. Gordilocks

            I’ll never know.

            /stricter weight limits than the DOT

          2. Bob Boberson

            I’ve never gone full-fatty but I’ve hooked up with a girl who had been obese and made an infomercial worthy turn around……yowza!! “try harder” is not an understatement.

    2. Number.6

      Hate’s a strong term. Pity is probably more accurate.

      1. Grudge?

        Grudgehump.

        1. Despair-Deep-Dicking.

          1. Resent-Rutting.

          2. Umbrage-Clean Her Undercarriage.

          3. Antipathy-Anal.

          4. Ill Will-Intromission.

          5. Enmity-Intimacy.

          6. Objectionable-Orgasm.

          7. Choleric-Copulation.

          8. Perturbed-Procreation.

          9. Vexatious-Venereal Venality

          10. Wrathfully-Wax tha Bootay

          11. Irritable-Irrumatio.

          12. Mad Scientist

            Q, is there something you need to tell us?

          13. Acrimonious-Algolagnia.

          14. OK, I’m spent.

          15. Number.6

            He’s had a Thesaurus Malfunction.

          16. Lachowsky

            Don’t stop now Q
            I know you have a few more in you.

          17. One more:

            Cake is a Lie-Coitus.

          18. Fornication of Fury.

          19. Tempestuously up the Tailpipe.

          20. Bobarian LMD

            He’s starting to ‘produce’ dust.

          21. Rage-Rear Ending.

          22. Now I’m done. And need a nap. Or a cigarette.

  9. LJW

    This is a good one from yesterday probably not the best idea to ask a leftist rag.

    Dear Prudence,
    I am incredibly fortunate to come from a wealthy family—like 1-percent wealthy. (For what it’s worth, my first-generation parents and immigrant grandparents made all their money on their own.) I chose to work in a job that makes about 30 percent of what I otherwise could, because I feel a responsibility to give back and I really love what I do. My problem is some of my co-workers, who constantly disparage people with money and people who come from money. Even though they don’t know that I am one of those people, it’s hard for me to nod along and just let someone disparage me and my family—grouping all rich people together as evil, or mocking trust-fund recipients as lazy do-nothings, when I know it’s not true. (I’m right here in the trenches doing the same work as them.) I don’t want to say, “Hey—I’m one of those people,” but how can I deal with it when it feels like my family and I are constantly being put down?
    —Co-Workers Don’t Know They’re Talking About Me

    1. Tundra

      Easy.

      Buy a new Porsche and refuse to carpool with the fuckheads.

    2. LJW

      Prudence is a bitch.

      Finding a better way to deal with your feelings of discomfort when your co-workers make jokes about the superwealthy is an admirable and achievable goal! Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being harmed, and coming from a wealthy family does not place you in a protected or marginalized class; in fact, I think it is good and healthy for you to get to experience this kind of discomfort. You say that you feel a responsibility to “give back,” but while it’s true that you might be able to get a higher-paying job elsewhere (or presumably choose not to work at all), you are in fact paid for the work that you do. That’s not volunteering or charity—you perform a job, just like everyone else you work with. You seem to believe that if your co-workers only knew that you didn’t “have to” work that they’d think more highly of you or consider your extreme wealth somehow merited by what you think of as a sacrifice. I don’t think that’s true. I’m glad you love your job, but that doesn’t make our financial system fundamentally just, nor do I believe your hardworking immigrant grandparents deserved 1-percent levels of money any more than anyone else’s hardworking immigrant grandparents who didn’t make that kind of cash. Your family is not so much more industrious or capable than other families that you could ever possibly deserve to have that much money when others have so little. It may feel irritating to be periodically reminded that your family’s wealth is made possible by other families’ poverty and not just your collective hard work, but try to bear in mind that your discomfort does not mean anyone is doing anything wrong.

      1. Gustave Lytton

        What a cunt.

      2. Bob Boberson

        She does ok until “that doesn’t make our financial system fundamentally just”……and then it really takes a nose-dive

        1. Number.6

          I’d say, that kind of language around here is a bit … imprudent.

          1. Bob Boberson

            How exactly? I don’t disagree with the assertion that her family background makes her makes her neither protected or marginalized and (as Lachowsky also pointed out) that she’s doing a job, not giving back. The later half is pure commie derp, though.

          2. Number.6

            Whoops. That was a reflection on the original response by … Prudence … not a reflection on your reflection.

            I’ve had to deal with people like the letter writer who twist themselves into pretzels while working at non-profits. Part of the problem itself is a perception of what doing those jobs means to ‘normal people’. Lots of the people who do low-pay jobs for Save the Children Fund are doing it because it’s a job, and they need a job, and it’s what they could get – and they carry a lot of envy around. It’s got a lot less to do with Saving the Children than with paying for a cheap apartment and keeping their kids in school.

          3. Bob Boberson

            Ok, I was a little confused, thought maybe I missed something.

            I’ve met lots of rich kids over the years who think working for non-profits and just low wage work in general somehow makes them virtuous…..it’s incredibly stupid and self-righteous and it usually doesn’t last, often times it’s just hiatus until they disappear back to a coastal city where I assume they are either in a profession or still supported by their parents.

          4. Number.6

            Oh, I can answer that.

            They go back to Coastal City and set their own non-profit up. It’s a small community-outreach charity which really works for the poor, unlike those other large, unresponsive charities everyone has heard of.

            Especially when the founder is female, she will circulate around saying useless things until they’re swept up by a guy who’s running a 12 million dollar family office for uncle Aaron and Dad after he got his MBA at Harvard. Although nowadays, it works for male founders too.

          5. Bob Boberson

            That sounds about right….and explains how rich white liberals get to be both rich AND superior

          6. Number.6

            A somewhat-close example of this is Chelsea Clinton, by the way, except that she didn’t even go thru’ the motions of stuffing envelopes at a real charity, she just drew a check at Avenue Capital for not turning up.

            Almost all the rest of her ‘career’ follows the model I outlined above.

          7. Bob Boberson

            And….I completely Ken Schultz’d myself by missing you pun

          8. *narrows gaze*

      3. wdalasio

        Being uncomfortable is not the same thing as being harmed,

        That is actually quite true. I’m willing to give 50-1 odds that she would normally argue the exact fucking opposite.

      4. CPRM

        something something lumber implement something…

      5. Just Say’n

        “Your family is not so much more industrious or capable than other families that you could ever possibly deserve to have that much money when others have so little.”

        Apparently they are more industrious or capable or clever- otherwise they wouldn’t have amassed that money.

        “It may feel irritating to be periodically reminded that your family’s wealth is made possible by other families’ poverty”

        Whaaaaaat? They didn’t rob people to get this money. This is silly

        1. CPRM

          Maybe they did rob people, we don’t know what her family’s business is, could be big cronies…but not understanding nuance is also how a person comes to think like Miss Prudy there.

          1. R C Dean

            we don’t know what her family’s business is, could be big cronies

            Neither does Prudence.

            Nor does she care how people get rich. She condemns all rich people, every single one, as not deserving to have that much money, and making it by driving other people into poverty.

        2. Mad Scientist

          Dear Prudence makes her money off other people’s misery, so she assumes that’s how everyone does it.

      6. R C Dean

        Christ, what a commie.

        It may feel irritating to be periodically reminded that your family’s wealth is made possible by other families’ poverty

        Jeebus.

        1. There is the same amount of wealth in the world, as there was 10,000 years ago! We are just fighting over it, man!

          1. Dr. Fronkensteen

            Hey, That’s my sharp rock. Give it back.

          2. R C Dean

            Molon labe.

      7. egould310

        Prudence is a bitch. Charity, Chastity, and Hope are alright though. https://youtu.be/HacGbaIDRzA

    3. Number.6

      Dear Co-Workers Don’t Know They’re Talking About Me,

      Immediately confess your sins and report to the Director of Reeducation

    4. Give all your money away like a good little wannabe socialist.

    5. Lachowsky

      Taking a low paying job than you otherwise could is not “giving back”.

      It may make you feel good about yourself or something, but it helps no one.

      1. Tundra

        Her relatives still in the business are probably breathing a sigh of relief, though.

    6. LJW

      My first job out of college was like this. I come from a middle class family and wife upper middle class. I was having a conversation with the one co-worker I actually got along with and casually mentioned my in-laws were paying for our wedding. Group of nosey bitches overheard and attempted to make my life a living hell for the remainder of my employment. Hence the reason I am now “Page” when I’m at work.

      1. trshmnstr

        I’m another “Page” at work. I try to be nice and go out to lunch on occasion, but besides the occasional mutual rant with my objectivist officemate, work stays at work and everything else stays at home.

        1. LJW

          “everything else stays at home.”

          Especially politics. While I liked my last boss, every day her and another co-worker would get together and have a Bernie Sanders love fest. My headphones would go on at that time.

      2. Number.6

        I was a ‘Page’ too, except I don’t want to carpool with a bunch of coworkers with dubious hygiene.

        My last firm had a company “TEAM Olympics” last week – for some unaccountable reason – which was a total time sink, designed to make the company feel more unified. Participation was as close to mandatory as they could make it without explicitly saying so. Of course, we’re coming up to tax time, and part of my role was reviewing K-1s and PFICs for tens of thousands of accounts in a couple of dozen funds, with a deadline of April 17. Company policy there was that every single document would be reviewed by an ‘insider’, mainly because the auditors are sloppy, but we had this weird idea that level of service was acceptable. Fortunately, I was RiFed before I had to tell them to fuck off this year.

        If I ever re-enter the “wage slave” demographic, I see no reason why I would behave any differently.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Ahhhh. No, no, no. Don’t speak. Let’s not spoil it.

  11. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/SonnyBunch/status/969645703105515520

    So, what you’re saying is that this movie is amazing

    1. CPRM

      I had no interest at all in seeing it until that link this morning complaining that OMG, THEY TALK ABOUT MILTON FRIEDMAN, THE HORROR!1!!!!

      1. Number.6

        As I approached the cavernous hall, my eyes were inexorably drawn to the diagram that showed the growth in number of pages in the Federal Register by year …………..

    2. Florida Man

      Damn it. I don’t like to watch remakes, but now I have to watch it to stick my thumb in anti-gun cry baby eyes.

      1. Timeloose

        Do we get to see American geek hearthrob Jeff Goldbloom rape an old lady like in the original?

        The first Death Wish was a good movie. Seeing a mild mannered liberal become powerless, hating himself for not being able to protect his own, then taking back that power and still hating himself, but much less than before. The sequels had no real point other than making kersey some kind of vigilante superhero.

    3. commodious spittoon

      Comfortably Smug
      @ComfortablySmug

      I remember crystal clear watching the first one for the first time as a child with my father. I asked him what the movie was about and he said shooting hippies. Prob best father son moment growing up.

      Sonny Bunch
      @SonnyBunch

      That’s a fucking Rockwell painting, that is.

      1. Just Say’n

        Nothing warms my heart more than watching hippies being beat. God bless you Richard J Daley (not his son, who is pure garbage)

    4. Akira

      It’s weird that the movie is being called racist.

      If the storyline is true to the original movie, then some men raped a woman and the husband hunts them down and kills them.

      Judging from the trailer, the targets of his shootings don’t appear to be exclusively black. Are they saying that all black people are rapists?

      And are they arguing that it’s morally wrong to kill someone who has raped your daughter and escaped the justice system? Why do they hate women?

      1. CPRM

        Racism is white men having guns.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of that movie- there is an ad on the teevee which reminds me of something from the past.

    Some of my friends in Colo Spgs used to talk about a guy (before my time; I never met him) who was discovered in his shop one morning with a car parked on top of him. The official verdict was accidental death due to a jack malfunction, but those guys had a different and very specific theory about whatt happened, who who dunnit.
    Spolier Alert- drugs and money were involved; maybe even one or more stolen cars.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Proofraed?
    Edut?

    pfffft

  14. Just Say’n

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DXO-YSBWAAAEM4z.jpg:large

    Beyond fucking parody at this point. Russia fever dreams are inevitably leading to war and these dingbats don’t even know anything about what’s going on in the world. The stupid can always be lead to endorse war

  15. The Late P Brooks

    It may feel irritating to be periodically reminded that your family’s wealth is made possible by other families’ poverty

    Yeah. I’ll stick with “hate fuck”. But- still would, three or four times.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    And- speaking of the Roosky ICBM arsenal, “nuclear powered missiles”? How does that work? Steam jet thrusters? An on-board nuclear power station to run electric propellers?

      1. How much radiation leakage would one of those cruise missiles get?

        Also, just dumping that heat into the atmosphere? Probably more global warming than carbon dioxide causes.

        1. Number.6

          Who would care if you dropped it from a B52 somewhere near the target? They get all the fallout an’ shit.

          1. releasing near the target defeats the purpose of an operational loiter time measured in months.

          2. Number.6

            Yeah, but a cruise missile spewing out a near-constant plume of radioactive exhaust ain’t gonna be able to loiter anywhere near that long. Maybe we just talk the Canadians into basing the launch points in their territory.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Supporters of Project Orion felt that it had potential for cheap interplanetary travel, but it lost political approval over concerns with fallout from its propulsion.[2]

    Nice. To be used only after Planet Earth has been FUBAR.

    “So long, suckers!”

    Thanks, 6.