It might surprise you to know that I have travelled to 32 states.  By travel I don’t mean pass through.  By that definition, I’ve been to over 40.  In that time, since I’ve been an adult at least, there has been one thing that comes up up from time to time, is some states are shall we say, lacking.

This is my review, of Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale.

Where were they lacking?  At 7.2% abv this is over twice what some states will allow for sale in grocery stores.

Thankfully, Arizona does not participate in such asshattery.  As it turns out Arizona has lax laws regarding alcohol with the exception of hours when you can purchase:  6AM-2AM the next day, 10AM-2AM on Sunday, but nobody seems to enforce Sunday. They also defer to Federal laws as far as what you can purchase. So anything approved by BATFE is legal for sale at a grocery store.  Drive through liquor stores are also legal.  Some restrictions were in place in terms of the volume a local brewer could produce and distribute but was lifted a little over a year ago.  Overall, not bad for a state overrun by socons who kept John McCain in office for over 30 years.  See how your state compares, here.

Other states?  Some of them are pretty weird.

The fourth Friday of every October is dedicated to teaching kids about the dangers of overindulgence in the Palmetto State.  They do this in honor of Frances Willard. She was a temperance reformer who helped pass the Eighteenth amendment to the Constitution.  I’ll give her some credit though, as she at least recognized an amendment was necessary for her to impose her stupid ideas over everyone.  I will concede, some of her stupid ideas included allowing women to vote.  Thankfully, the Air Force moved me when they did, because among other reasons, had I stayed there I’d have no money on account of putting three kids through Catholic School.

Not to be outdone for stupidity.  Colorado where you can’t make it over a mountain pass without tripping over another brewery does not allow the sale of beer in grocery stores.  Well, it does but it must be 3.2% or less, which explains Coors light.  It has spawned a common practice of having a liquor store on nearly every corner.  Which  is convenient when you run into your squadron’s Chief Master Sergeant and he says something to the tune of, “yeah, I got a….retirement to attend.  Need to bring a gift.”  I can reply with, “you don’t need to explain anything to me, Chief” and find a new booze merchant.

Yes, I will mention Utah.  Do you ever plan to go to Utah? No?  There, I mentioned Utah.

Finally, the dumbest alcohol law comes from where else?  Florida.  Where  after a week of Silver Flag the blonde bartender asked, “So, you boys from Silver Flag?”

“Oh yeah.”  Where she immediately went from bubbly girl from the panhandle to scaring the hell out of five guys that spent the last week running around with guns, training in MOPP4 and building a BEAR base in the woods in the middle of June.

“You’re not EOD are you!?”

See! Look how much fun they are having.

I replied, “Can I get the shrimp po-boy?”  I woke up a few hours later on the bus back to Hurlburt. In Florida, establishments selling alcohol can be fined $1000 for allowing or participating–in a dwarf throwing contest.  Well done, Florida.

This beer has the distinction of quite literally, telling it’s customers not to buy it.  Reading the back of the label brings to mind Larry Correia’s infamous rant about the German arms company, Heckler and Koch.  Click at your peril, it is a tad dated and Larry is a professional rant artist, so this will take a while to read.

They are right though, its not for everyone.  It has a high malt complexity and is balanced out by an obscene amount of hops.  It is as about as balanced and flavorful as it gets without going into the barleywine category.  Once you get past the stage where this is truly intense and it begins to be just another beer, Stone has you covered with the Double Bastard.

Arrogant Bastard Ale: 3.9/5