Her Buttholiness WILL NOT be taking a year off of acting to save our Democracy. “Fuck your Democracy,” she says and spits.

Don’t worry, Jennifer Lawrence isn’t going anywhere!

On Friday, Entertainment Tonight reported that the Oscar winner was planning on taking a year off from acting to focus on activism. However, a representative for Lawrence exclusively tells EW that she will return to work when one of several projects in development is ready to go.

According to IMDB, Lawrence currently has seven projects in development, including an untitled film with Amy Schumer, Ron Howard’s Zelda Fitzgerald biopic Zelda, Adam McKay’s Bad Blood, Luca Guadagnino’s Burial Rites, and more.

‘Spin the bottle’ and a kegerator: #MeToo movement lawmaker faces new sexual misconduct allegations

In separate interviews, the former Garcia staffers said they left her office, in part, because of regular pressure to accompany their boss to alcohol-fueled evening events.

“It was a power imbalance,’’ one staffer said in an interview last week. “You’re telling me, ‘We’re going to go to a happy hour,’ and I don’t want to do that. It was something that was central — ‘We’re going to go out’ … and I was, ‘I don’t want to hang out with you, I want to go home.’”

The ex-staffer said employees worried about retribution from the boss if they didn’t go along, and that signing the public letter was “the opportunity to be heard” about an unhealthy workplace that often included “vulgar” conversations related to Garcia’s personal sexual experiences.

“It wasn’t a two-way street. It was usually just us listening,’’ she said. “I thought it was weird. It came off as sort of bragging.”

…

The industry lobbyist said he was surprised last year when, during a late-morning policy meeting in Garcia’s Capitol office, the assemblywoman poured beer from a kegerator — a refrigerator with a beer tap on top — located in her office.

She offered the brew in red Solo cups to the group of lobbyists, even though it was “sometime between 11 a.m. and noon … a little early,’’ the lobbyist said.

Sometimes you have to derp like no one’s watching…

How Has Trump Changed America?

A year ago, a bunch of us made predictions for what this presidency might bring. Now, we’ve reassessed—and found many of them were surprisingly accurate.

I’d like to see Slate at the foreground of a new Millerite movement. “The Trumpocalypse happened like we said, dammit! It just happened in a plane of being beyond our understanding. So no one could see it happen. And it didn’t really change anything.” And then they all go to Guyana and poison themselves.

And, from the Gawker gift that keeps on giving…

We Need To Start Barking At White People Who Speak Out Of Turn

One thing, however, that we can and definitely should start doing is what M’Baku and his Que Dog Jabari Tribe did when encountering a problematic white dude who was speaking when there was no ask or need or purpose for the thoughts and opinions of problematic white dudes.

Bark.

Not a purposeless bark. This isn’t a shih tzu barking through the window at a squirrel. Instead this would be an intentional bark. A targeted bark. An overpowering bark. A drowning bark. A Wakandan bark. A bark meant to communicate “Um, who told you that you can speak? When it is time for your words, we will let you know. And maybe that time will never come. We’ll see. Now, just shut up and stand there. Maybe get on your phone and google ‘How not to be a colonizer.’ Whatever you do, I want to hear you not speaking.”

The bark doesn’t just have to be a counter for useless words, either. A wayward white hand reaches for your hair? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A group of white people huddled on a sidewalk refuse to step aside when you attempt to walk past them? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! A purse is clutched when you walk on an elevator? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! (If they’re going to act scared, you might as well give them a reason to be.)

CHICKEN CHAOS!