I’ve heard a rumor that there was something sportsball related that happened in Philadelphia. I think the Phillies won Fifa or something. So to celebrate, I’ll be bastardizing their one claim to culinary fame – tossing beef, cheese and aromatic veggies on a roll. I’m just not in the mood for bread, so the first change will be to replace the roll with an absurdist substitution. Okay, maybe not as absurd as I could have, but we’re going with portabello mushrooms. Since mushroom caps don’t fold too well, they’ll be more in the role of trenchers for the goop.
Being within the limits of the culinary talents of the residents of Philadelphia, it is a fairly straightforward process. We need to start by greasing a cooking surface. You could use butter, but I decided to go a different way. While collecting ingredients, I spotted salt pork on the grocery shelf. I figured I could use it in much the same was as bacon. I did make one oversight, I didn’t realize they sold salt pork with the skin still attached. This is mainly an inconvenience that made cubing it a bit more of a hassle than it otherwise would have been. I should have got bacon, it’d be easier. But, once chopped up, I tossed it into the pan and started rendering out the pork fat.
This part is simple, don’t let the pork stick to the pan, and keep it on medium heat until it lets the lard out. Once it does that and you have a nice, sizzling puddle of grease, it’s time to add the onions. Sliced or diced, doesn’t matter, we’re not being faithful to the original, but we need the onions browned or even caramelized for flavor. Even though you can probably guess what onions in a pan look like, I still took a picture anyway.
I’m too impatient to wait for the onions to caramelize, so I got out the shaved beef. They claim it’s shaved steak, but the consistency is more like that of a brisket. Doesn’t matter, it’s a brick of beef that has been frozen and fed through a deli slicer. I start piling this in with the onions.
Now, beef this thin cooks really fast, I mean it was less than half a minute between the time I put it in and this next picture.
So I needed to prep my trenchers, and I realized I had far too much beef for the amount of mushroom I had. So I needed plates. When I think of sportsball, I think of food slopped onto cheapass paper plates, so I dropped the ugly mushroom tops onto some of the cheapest I had at my disposal while the beef finished cooking. It was a suitably cheapass looking sight.
Now the key thing with the choice of cheese is how easily it melts. Since everything else is completely cooked at this point (except the mushrooms, which won’t be cooked at all), we want something that melts readily. I went with Monterrey Jack, because it will melt if you look at it harshly. I just heaped it on there…
And stirred it in. Before you know it, we get the goop we’re looking for.
We scoop the goop onto our fungal trenchers and… we get something that looks like a Philly street after a sportsball game…
Perhaps I should go and look for inspiration somewhere with a better culinary track record.
Comments
289 responses to “UnCivil Cooks – Phaildelphia Cheese Steak”
I would eat the hell out of that. I might roast the mushroom caps a little first, though–and then eat the pile of mushy food.
This was my thought as well. Roast those mushroom caps and that sounds delicious.
yeah stuff the mushrooms with meat and cheese and put it on the grill a bit.
I didn’t think of it at the time.
I don’t know if you can Sautee a cap that large effectively, but I would have tried. And if it didn’t work, I would have chopped up the mushroom, added it to the rest, wrapped the whole thing in a flour tortilla and been happy.
I slap portobellos that size on the grill. Only takes 5 mins.
I usually fill ’em with melted blue cheese, but this looks like a welcome alternative.
I’ve had a similar dish; large portobello mushroom caps with balsamic vinegar, some kind of cheese (blue or goat), and maybe a few leaves of arugula. And some other stuff. Then under the broiler. Works fine, but you need some way to manage the liquid accumulating in the upside down mushroom cap. Breadcrumbs maybe. Kind of like a vegetarian Oyster’s Rockefeller.
Omnomnom!
You could put blue cheese on just about anything and I would eat it.
Yeah. And while I’m not a big fan of goat cheese, baked goat cheese with toasted pine nuts on is delicious. And it works well in this application.
That sounds amazing.
And as for surprisingly good goat cheese products, if you ever see this on the shelf somewhere, do yourself a favor and pick it up.
That looks nasty, and I don’t mind goat’s cheese at all.
THANK YOU
I’m allergic to cow’s milk. Imma gonna try it.
That’s what I thought! But Mr. Riven was enticed by reviews that said it tasted like a lovely cherry cheesecake, so we took a chance.
My only regret now is that I can’t find it anywhere except online.
Double damnation then – I loathe cheesecake – but it makes it a viable delicacy for the other 3 in the family.
Is this ice cream?
If you’re ever over in Philly, do yourself a favor and go to Amada, get their Queso De Cabra. It is possibly the most amazing pure goat cheese dish I’ve ever had. And like I said, goat cheese is not my thing.
And as for blue cheese, go to your cheese monger, and pick up some “Blue Castello”. It’s a Danish cheese that’s becoming quite easy to find in the US. Make sure it’s the creamy variety though. Then eat it on crackers with just a light drizzle of honey on top.
Check out this deliciousBlue Castello.
Damn. I just finished lunch and I’m already hungry again. THANKS HOLGER
There is a Cajun place downtown that makes a ribeye black and blue. One of the better steaks I’ve ever had from a resraurant.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a black and blue steak, but ribeyes are the kings of steak, so I would certainly be open to trying it.
Serve it with a side of sauteed mushrooms and you won’t hear a peep out of me until the plate is empty.
Agreed on ribeyes being the best. I got that steak on my wife and I’s anniversary dinner a few years ago. A blackened medium rare ribeye with a blue cheese crust on it. Served with steamed veggies and crawfish etouffe. Pretty damn good.
You people are killing the fat kid inside of me
I had an aunt that used to make something very similar (albeit with red and green peppers in it as well) that she called “gluck.” Gluck was usually served atop a starch, whether rice, pasta, or some form of potatoey goodness. Her son couldn’t get enough of it, and it was a go-to meal when she was busy or came home late from work.
It ain’t pretty, but it gets the job done.
Looked good until the mushroom caps. Cardboard pizza and mushroom caps instead of bread? Now I’ve seen everything.
P.S.- thanks for posting
They said to go low carb…
So basically stuffed mushrooms… Not bad. Although that onion could have been cut more finely
I like the UCS character. I think it needs just a little more absurdity to really fit in here. Fun article. Thanks for contributing.
You’re welcome.
I keep getting writer’s block with the breakfast one. (I have the pictures and recipe components, but the article text eludes me)
is it raw pig fat with raw onion and cold polenta? Because if it is it would make a very traditional Romanian breakfast
No. I appropriated from different cultures.
So i take all this time to write on Romanian food and you apropriate someone else? I feel so unapreciated
I cooked the food to take the pictures back in december.
Funnily enough, month-old breakfast doesn’t photograph too well.
Um, didn’t you appropriate the polenta from Northern Italians?
Reparations for the Roman conquest. Obviously.
Not really. It is not polenta i am using a word you may be familiar with
Fair enough
We appropriated Simona Halep so hard she went and got a boob job.
Crosses Romania off the list of places worth considering ever visiting.
I’ve had and enjoy the traditional Philly cheese steak, and I think that your variation is probably as good if not better. I particularly like the pork aspect.
Well I went “Pork Fat or Butter, which do I go with?” and since I was just going to be heaping vegetables and meat on it, the pork won.
Pork always wins.
+1 Anthony Bourdain.
I used to get philly cheese steak sandwiches from a food truck parked right outside the Packer Ave marine terminal in Philly, right under the Walt Whitman bridge. Nothing beat a tasty cheese steak after chaining and tarping a load of steel coils.
They were so good that I would buy a bunch of them and bring them home to Hamilton in a bag, and give them to my friends to reheat them. Even at a day old they were awesome.
This is the best cheesesteak I ever ate. Couldn’t find the hot giardiniera so I added some pickled hot cherry peppers to the regular kind. On point.
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/jeff-mauro/chicago-cheese-steak-recipe-2108200
I believe I grilled the steaks.
We have a local “Jersey Mike’s Subs” that makes a very creditable Philly Cheese Steak.
If you’re looking for chains that do a cheese steak, I prefer Penn Station. Although it wasn’t until I traveled to Philly for my first time that I learned that those who created the cheese steak sandwich didn’t even do it right. Cheez Whiz? Seriously? You have access to a plethora of sliced deli cheeses, and you choose Cheez Whiz. Shouldn’t it be a Cheezsteak at that point?
/sigh
Even at Ground Zero for cheese steaks, I knew that the end of the order should always be “no wiz”.
I mean, it’s disgusting shit, but my first real PCS was before I had my gall bladder out and I didn’t want Homeland Security arresting me for deploying a bio-weapon.
Yeah, the “authentic” cheesesteak is worth having once so you have a frame of reference. From then on, leave the Cheez Whiz on the shelf.
OT: What is the proper response to the inherent meaninglessness of existence – fatalism, cynicism, absurdism or pessimism?
Discuss.
Hitler?
Anger followed by apathy works for me.
Winston’s mom?
humorism. It helps.
drinking; laughter
also: stoicism
Create meaning. Goals help.
^^^
Attainable goals are a key. Setting unattainable goals just makes things get worse.
My current goals:
Get new job (third interview today appeared to go well)
Plan trip to Germany (when a specific savings account hits a dollar goal)
Bike a century (second year for this goal, but I did a 75 mile ride last year)
Get down to 200 lb (averaging ~2lb a week right now, set a new goal after maintaining that weight for a month)
Win National Homebrew Competition
Make it to all breweries in the Cleveland area (only 2 to go… until new ones start opening)
I read that as (((Hebrew Competition))).
Sobriety is my main goal, but it’s conflicting with my secondary goals, feel more optimism and enjoy the company of others.
Have you tried strip clubs?
I wouldn’t attempt to go up against He’Brew: The Chosen Beer.
But is it kosher?
Probably not, but it’s awfully glatt.
I have never been overly impressed with them.
“Sobriety is my main goal”
As in, you’re legitimately trying to quit 100%? If so, have you tried 12 step meetings? I have a couple of friends who got sober that way and, despite the hokiness, swear by it.
I’m trying to nip some bad habits off before that sort of thing becomes necessary. It’s not the drinking per se, at least not yet. It’s the habitual tedium of my home life.
Have you considered a change of scenery? There were a couple of times in my life when things felt stale and tedious and moving to a new place shook off the cobwebs. If you don’t own property, don’t have kids/wife it’s very simple to try a new place. If you don’t like it, you can always go back.
I will be, possibly as soon as next year. I’m focused on graduating for the moment.
I never entered, but in a local comp, a national judge commented on my Hefe: “Tastes like Schneider Weisse.”
Best compliment I ever got.
ROB SCHNEIDER IS… A BEER
Deuce Lowenbrau?
I applied for and received two entries this year. I’ll be sending in my American stout, which is always well received, and my nut brown.
I got disillusioned on the local hombrew competitions after multiple entries got worthless write-ups.
Having judged, I feel bad for the people who got my writeups too.
I did comps for a few years, got enough good feedback to calibrate my own validation.
I judged once, and it was tough. But I was getting write ups for a stout that complained about a mild astringency, when the style guidelines explicitly listed that mild to moderate astringency is part of the style. Or that I should use less crystal malt, when the recipe didn’t use any. Or to avoid fruit additions in a saison, when (again) there weren’t any, the yeast produced some lemon notes.
I submitted a ginger-lime mead to NHC last year. One judge said the ginger dominated and needed more lime for balance. The other judge said that the lime dominated and needed more ginger for balance. That one was a waste of the entry fee. But I did get one through to national last year.
I am entering 4 meads this year.
I did a breakfast stout that got similar reactions from friends. Some of them commented that it was really coffee forward, others that it was really chocolate forward. I considered that hitting a good balance. Although that keg was the one that taught me to make sure to use a bag if you’re going to toss lightly crushed coffee beans into a carboy. A small chunk of bean made it through to the keg, and got stuck in the liquid out poppet. So I pulled off the disconnect, and the keg blasted me in the face with beer.
I had that happen with chunks of blackberry.
This was after a professional mead maker told me he thought it was one of the best mead’s he had ever tasted. I thought it was my ticket to the big time. 😉
Euphemism? How is Keg these days?
What about licensing the recipe at a brewery?
By “big time” I meant a possible medal at nationals.
I have good friends that are trying to turn a small meadery into a profitable business (thus keeping a 150-year-old family farm a thriving business). I give them lots of advice for free. They changed the recipe of their ginger mead after tasting mine.
By goals mean rape./ STEVE SMITH
1) Crush enemies
2) See them driven before me
3) Hear lamentations of their women
4) Iterate
The words meaning, mental, mind, etc all come from the same root that means “thought, memory”.
So, to live a meaningful life, make use of your brain.
“The un-examined life is not worth living.”
-Socrates
“Education is the best provision for the journey to old age.”
-Aristotle
today I learned
***
But Liberman writes that brain “has no established cognates outside West Germanic …” and is not connected to the Greek word. More probably, he writes, its etymon is PIE *bhragno “something broken.”
…
brain-fart “sudden loss of memory or train of thought; sudden inability to think logically” is by 1991 (brain-squirt is from 1650s as “feeble or abortive attempt at reasoning”). An Old English word for “head” was brægnloca, which might be translated as “brain locker.” In Middle English, brainsick (Old English brægenseoc) meant “mad, addled.”
***
https://www.etymonline.com/word/brain
Die Antwort ist “Kettenräder”
Und jetzt tanzen wir!
That skit was a shameful act of Krautface.
I embrace the void, personally. It embraces me back and we’re both consenting, so it’s all good
Did you get affirmative, enthusiastic consent from the void?
#voidtoo
Of course!
We also each downloaded the affirmative, enthusiastic consent app, just to be sure.
As I “learned” yesterday, genuine intimacy fixes most consent issues before they even arise.
Well, duh.
sounds like a good tweet.
Pie
Hedonism
Spoken like a true Glib!
Just rub one out, you’re acknowledging your primary function as a reproductive organism.
Then take a nap.
^^^This guy gets it.
the inherent meaninglessness of existence
Meaning is created by people. Your existence is not inherently meaningless, If your existence is meaningless, its your fault and you should stop being meaningless.
This is a standard refrain, but it comes back to the question of objective vs. relative. Most existential angst comes from the (I believe often self-evident) inherent lack of objective meaning. Existentialists would then say, much as you did, that subject or relative meaning is the replacement; but since such meaning is arbitrary, what true authenticity does it have?
It’s objective vs. subjective morality. Why is murder inherently, objectively immoral? Typically, because G-d said so. OK, but did He say so because it’s actually wrong, or just because (in parental fashion) because He just said so. This is a dilemma. In the former scenario, the morals themselves supersede G-d, thus reducing Him to a messenger; in the latter, morality is arbitrary and has no basis in any authentic reasoning. That’s how I see the “you create your own meaning” argument reducing to.
I love stimulating these types of discussions.
And this:
https://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/lead22.jpg?quality=85&strip=info
I took your question as an individual question of purpose in life. You have to come up with something that speaks to you. Whether you’re taking Frankl’s view that meaning comes from work, love, and purposeful suffering or from somewhere else.
Fundamentally you’re right there is no objective morality. Take your example of murder. Yes murder is wrong but what about human sacrifice, war, capital punishment, and suttee. All involve the taking of human life in certain contexts. Moral systems come out of trying to get us social but nasty apes trying to get along. A heathen atheist such as myself say the belief in the gods was used to solidify that moral system.
“the belief in the gods was used to solidify that moral system”
I agree. There had to be something beyond the realm of human debate to serve as a guide for behavior. Whether that’s a good thing or not I suppose is open to debate.
What do you mean when you say “meaning”? Meaning is a subjective quality that can only exist in the context of conscious observation and judgement. It can’t be inherent because it is only defined relatively. It requires perception, which requires a perceiver. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist or isn’t real.
I like this.
It all comes back to the question that philosophers (ostensibly) are supposed to be answering; how does one live a good life? It’s a very complicated question with many layers. What does good mean? Are there objective criteria (pursuit of virtue, pleasure, happiness etc.) that qualify as worth pursuing? People don’t consider many of these questions and I think it’s vital to at least attempt to answer them.
Are you in meatspace?
This may be appropriate.
Boobies?
Or, hear me out here, it could be that your anomie stems from being a created being in a created cosmos who’s drifted away from his Creator’s intent. Food for thought.
I like this answer.
You’re all wrong. The answer we were looking for was Weltschmerz.
Creativity. You make your own meaning of existence.
See response to Dean above.
https://youtu.be/0rJMHqzZzes?t=1553
Absurdism is the only one fun to be around.
Eating cheesesteaks
But they did caramelise, bro. I like the paper plate touch.
That does not look appetizing.
like… at all.
YMMV
The alt-text agrees with you.
What is the proper response to the inherent meaninglessness of existence – fatalism, cynicism, absurdism or pessimism?
DADA!
So… progressivisim?
/ducks
It looks good. But please don’t call it a cheese steak..
Don’t you other that beautiful creation, shitlord. Perhaps it identifies as a cheesesteak.
Well, maybe I identify as a native Philadelphian, and you’re all appropriating my culture and mushroom-bending my (fake) heritage?!?
You went Full Elizabeth Warren. You never go Full Eliz…..oh, nevermind.
Just a drop’ll do.
Bike a century
Peddle down to Oberlin for a beer, and back home?
I’m closer to Oberlin then that… I’m showing it’s about 30 miles to Oberlin from my house. And for my ~65 mile days, I’d rather ride out to Willoughby, where they have 2 breweries, and I pass through Bratenahl. Beautiful neighborhood, relatively quiet, and the stop lights are at the top of the hills instead of the bottom.
The Huffman 100, or GTFO.
PEDDLE
!?!?!
*slams hand in desk drawer repeatedly*
Here at Glibertarians we gambol about the plain, thank-you-very-much.
In my house, we stuff cheesesteak mixture into bell peppers. Also, some (low sugar) steak sandwich sauce and more cheese when finishing them in the oven.
That’s funny, switch the steak to ground beef and we used to call that stuffed peppers when my grandmother made it. This was prior to carbs being a thing discussed outside of a laboratory.
My sister mixes sausage, cream cheese and some other stuff together and shoves it into hollowed out jalapeños and then fries them. Excellent with beer and sports.
reinventing the Jalapeno Popper, the Stuffed Pepper and Stuffed Mushroom, it’s a day of true innovation in the Glibs Kitchen.
I can do a pretty good vegetarian imitation of a cheese-steak using canned jackfruit. It’s ok.
For someone that has (to me at least) had the reputation of only enjoying the blandest of saltines served with a cup of distilled water, that looks amazingly good. Also, the artistic choice to present the results on the cheapest of Dollar General paper-plates, only serves to galvanize my appreciation for your effort. Well done.
He made it for some one else. UCS just ate the paper plates afterward.
After a thorough washing.
Phaildelphia Cheese Steak – what a great name! Don’t change it.
Shouldn’t it taste like horse dung?
That is what they use to grow mushrooms in!
OT: Speaking of food – I’m back from the doctor’s. I lost another 4.5 pounds in the past 30 days. Total weight loss since last autumn is roughly 29 pounds. My blood pressure is back to normal and heartbeat down to 64bpm. Waiting to hear back on the blood sugar test, i was pre-diabetic earlier. I should be in the 80s which was the number I got last time I tested my blood at home.
::cracks open bottle of gin::
Grats.
Fingers crossed.
I have been feeling “off” for the past couple days, so I tested the ol glucose this morning. 187 fasting. Guess its time to make some lifestyle adjustments.
GlibFit!! Tomorrow is the end of week 2, but you’re welcome to make new goals and start them for Week 3.
My new goal is to improve my lifting technique so that I’m not instinctively raising up on my toes. Apparently that’s bad for the knees.
A trick I read that helps me is to lift with your toes raised so that your weight is on your heels and the balls of your feet. Your toes are in the air so you can’t sneak any weight onto them.
“Your toes are in the air…”
Like they just dont care, amirite?
Nice
Hollywood is very pleased with itself over Black Panther for obvious reasons, but I can’t help but get a kick out of things like this:
Nothing will show people how great Africa is more than a fictional king ruling over a fictional land with make believe technology. Like, they (two white guys at Marvel) had to completely invent this place because everything in Africa is pretty shitty and depressing, and then make it super advanced because that will show white people…somehow.
But, hey…at least they aren’t taking traditionally white male characters and simply reappropriating them.
That’s astoundingly stupid.
A movie won’t make me forget what happened when the Congo and Rhodesia where handed back over to the locals. They took relatively functioning societies and rendered them into shitholes.
You mean you wouldn’t want to live in this culturally vibrant shithole?
https://jalopnik.com/5697358/the-first-people-to-drive-across-the-congo-in-20-years
This story is now 10 years old.
You know, maybe Africa isn’t so bad. You ever tried to politely tell an American cop you are not under arrest?
Well, you can. Just depends on whether you have a preference for pepper-spray, tasers, getting the shit beaten out of you, and/or shot.
It’s almost as offensive to me as you calling this a Philly. Like, there’s not much you can trash about Philadelphia and anyone can even feign actual indignation.
That and the genocide.
Same way I feel great about being English after watching …… erm ….. Top Gear?
I have an acquaintance that works for BA. She’s dealt with Clarkson as a passenger many times. By her account, he’s an insufferable douchebag. So when I read about all the back & forth between him, the show, and BBC, I cant say I was shocked.
he’s an insufferable douchebag
He’s English, duh?
The funny thing is I like the Grand Tour, but when I had cable, I adamantly refused to watch Top Gear because they advertized it too much.
I’m not a fan of the series or the personalities myself. I think way too many of these transatlantic imports rely far too much on playing to stereotypes, although by now, Clarkson has created his very own stereotype that he’s quite comfortable with, just like that utter twat Piers Morgan.
An entertainer plays to what sells to their audience. Being ‘British’ was their defining differentiation, and they exaggerated it. It doesn’t help that few of them are as good as Hugh Laurie at pulling off American Pronounciation.
It’s odd to me, because most of the time, the really notable British personalities we see in the US are primarily recognized for being fucktards. We should be better than that.
I can appreciate Laurie as an actor, and I think he would’ve may a far better Dr. Who than Capaldi. Just dont subject yourself to his music.
I’ve just been watching Top Gear clips because it’s slow at work. I was DYING watching the caravan train.
I used to think Asgard was a shithole until I saw Thor
Maybe we could transplant the concept onto Appalachia. It could be the Kingdom of Oxycoda with the superhero ruler, Black Lung.
Who would be the protagonist/Hero in your version?
Black Lung is definitely the hero. He distributes the disability checks at supersonic speeds.
The villain would have to be Dr. EPA.
To be needlessly pedantic, other than processing coal above ground (washing, drying, etc.) EPA doesnt bring anything to that party. Who you’re after would be MSHA (mine safety health administration), OSHA in a supporting role, and Department of Labor as the ultimate monolith of evil.
Those are all just Minions of the true villain – Herself!
In a bit of self-righteousness/self-loathing, I once had an issue with a former employer that I chose to separate from after quite a few years. They took it upon themselves to withhold my final paycheck, citing petty and wholly un-true reasons. So on the advice of a friend, I picked up the phone and sicced the Dept. of Labor on them. It only took 1 call from the gov’t to have everything resolved in my favor, and I was quite pleased. I can understand how these elected sociopaths get a kick out of using the boot of the government on the necks of people they disagree with.
Ahhh but they are evil and a threat to the Oxycoda Civilization. They obstruct the sales of Oxycoda’s super secret energy source, coaltonium.
Outlander: “What is this stuff?”
Oxycodan Wise Man: “Solidified sunlight.” *spits into tin cup*
“solidified sunlight”
I’m totally stealing that. I have a PC Boiler project for MillerCoors coming up.
Molly Maguire
John Henry as a superhero?
Or Big John
This is the best thing I’ve read in a while and I’m stealing it.
Is this a prequel to Justified? I feel like it might be.
That is… special. Like, really special.
I used to wonder whether “woke” blacks resented the paternalistic gladhanding they get from their supposed allies, but lately I’m convinced that social justice is so inbred an ideology that they’re thrilled whenever their pieties are affirmed. They have lost any sense of nuance or irony.
In the before Obama times, Marvel movies and blockbusters were viewed with scorn by the self-anointed culturally elite (you know, people who are natural social justice warriors). Then cultural Marxism went mainstream and the goal became simply co-opting everything. Force everything to fit the narrative and push their values.
The only ones who didn’t think a black superhero movie could succeed were the racist dumb fucks who look down their noses at everyone else. Now they can’t get enough circle jerking each other over it all. An all-black blockbuster? How bold and brave we are!
you’ll leave with an anti-“shithole” appreciation for Africa
Why on Earth would a movie showing a society so fictionalized it can only be rendered with the help of computer graphics make me think Africa isn’t a shithole?
African-American cultural origins
I give up.
Let’s also point out – Hollywood made fucking Ant Man before they’d invest in Black Panther. Does it get much more obscure than Ant Man? Then they were so scared it would flop that they had to test the character out in Captain America before they’d make the investment.
So a fantasy black homeland about an African kingdom with a successful technological society and no racial diversity?
Kind of like England in 1950 except black?
Wasn’t England still rationing in 1950?
Until 1954, yep
Okay 1860 or 1960.
You mean relying on US ‘Welfare’? Well, alright then!
There are reasons why black Americans aren’t migrating to Africa in droves. I had a sergeant in the Marines who was black. His brother had, for a time, taken a job that had him traveling to various African countries a few times a year. After a few years of this, the brother told my sergeant “Every night when you say your prayers, thank God for slavery.” Sgt. Blue is baffled – thank God for slavery? What?? The brother explains: “If it weren’t for slavery, our asses would stuck in that hellhole” (Not shithole, sadly, which would have made for a better story today).
His brother had gone into the job with stars in his eyes about the glories of the ancestral homeland….until he started seeing it up close and personal. After he left that job, he told Sgt B, “I see no reason to ever leave Louisiana again”
I mean, that’s basically how I feel when I have to drive through Louisiana.
Muhammad Ali had the same sentiment half a century ago now when he went to his ancestral homeland. “Thank God my granddaddy got on that boat!”
But has he seen Black Panther yet? I’m sure he’ll change his mind after leaving with a straighter walk and gratitude for African heritage.
So it wouldn’t be helpful to restart the American Colonization Society and resume repatriating black folks to Liberia?
Nothing will make you into an American Jingoist like travelling to foreign countries.
Everything is political. Everything.
Nothing will show people how great Africa is more than a fictional king ruling over a fictional land with make believe technology.
Nothing changes. When I was a kid, I totally wanted to go live in Bangalla. I was a big fan of the Phantom.
The main character, the Phantom, is a fictional costumed crime-fighter who operates from the fictional African country of Bangalla. “
I’m back from the doctor’s.
Well done, sir.
Lookit Mr. Rockefeller here, swanning about town with his doctors and his medical tests.
Meanwhile at the Glibs Secret Base
This looks like it is a very good steak and cheese. This is not a Philly cheesesteak. There is nothing wrong with making something out of steak and melted cheese. It would be objectively wrong to call this a Philly cheesesteak.
What if you made it in Philly?
Smart answer: You are likely to get a battery thrown at your head by an unemployed pregnant woman with an Eagles tattoo.
Real answer: This is a linguistic question. For $location $fooditem, there is an understood but silent understanding that it really means $fooditem in the style of $location. This is more explicit in French and Italian. So it doesn’t matter where you physically make it. The $location variable is a stand in for the physical features of the $fooditem, which would require many more words. Most linguistic drift is in the direction of fewer words.
“Philly” is quicker to say than “crusty, long white roll, greasy shaved ribeye, and low quality cheese, in that order.”
“New York” is quicker to say than “~18 to ~21 inches in diameter, crust that is thin-but-not-so-thin that all the protein caramelizes when contacting the sauce.”
“Alabama” is quicker to say “I do apologize, I have never experienced quality barbecue and thus have decided to put mayonnaise on by barbecue. I dream of sweet oblivion. Please let me die. Please let me die.”
“Alabama” is quicker to say “I do apologize, I have never experienced quality barbecue and thus have decided to put mayonnaise on by barbecue. I dream of sweet oblivion. Please let me die. Please let me die.”
Partly due to all the dramatic pauses.
Nothing will show people how great Africa is more than a fictional king ruling over a fictional land with make believe technology.
I remember some movie where the tribal potentate wore a leopard skin cape and rode around in a Rolls Royce Silver Wraith. That’d be okay.
That was just a rerun of Starsky & Hutch.
Huggy Bear was a 24k ballin’ pimp, brah.
Coming to America?
“Baby, when I say the boy has his own money, I mean he has his own MONEY!”
Is that you Mr. McDowell?
Depends – are you from McDonald’s?
I’m not so sure about the Monterrey Jack, but otherwise, that looks like a pretty good cheese steak.
Monterey Jack is the Nick G… oh never mind.
Monterey Jack might even be the Robby Soave of cheese.
Well, it can’t take the heat, to be sure.
As long as it’s welcome on the cocktail party circuit.
You should considering sneaking into TOS and sending that to ENB. “In case you were wondering kinds of sammiches I enjoy….”
I have a sandwich
I vaguely remember that. I say “vaguely” since 27th was a Wednesday, and mid-week is when I choose to roofie myself with homemade Chloral Hydrate.
“Oi! Make me a Sandwich!”
Do you make a habit of yelling into unoccupied rooms, using a cockney slang?
I nominate Provel as the Sheldon Richman of cheese
This is the white people of this-is-the-white-people-of analogies.
Gillespie is like the F-bomb. There is no higher (lower) ranking than that
https://theintercept.com/2018/02/12/harvards-laurence-tribe-has-become-a-deranged-russia-conspiracist-today-was-his-most-humiliating-debacle/
Reminder: This guy was on the shortlist to being on the Supreme Court by Democrats since the 90’s. We dodged a bullet on this one
While I’d never make it past the confirmation hearings, I still assert that I would make an excellent Supreme Court Justice.
You’d probably use the Consitution as your guide, you amateur. Totally unqualified for the office.
Worse, I’m an opponant of Stare Desis. Bad precedent should be corrected promptly to minimize the number of people victimized by the incorrect interpretation of the law.
Wickard vs Filburn hardest hit.
Well, I hear certain people say that its not only “outdated”, but a “living, breathing, document”. No sense in taking it literally.
+1 Emanation, +3 Penumbras
It’s like a 100 years old and hard to read. That’s what the towering intellect that is Ezra Klein told me, anyway.
Not to mentioned written by old, white, slave-owners. We should just shred it right now and replace it with another set of instructions….something like a, oh I dunno….a manifesto, perhaps.
Incidentally, the leftist fapping to yesterday’s shooting is only going to get more intense now that the shitheel who did it was apparently a member of some white power group. Because ideology is of supreme importance in these things…..unless someone attacks Rand Paul and beats him to a pulp. Then it’s just about “neighbor disputes”, and why are you injecting politics into this????
Or when they shoot up some GOP softball game, no biggie.
Since when are Hispanics considered white by the white supremacists*? Don’t they still call them “spics”?
*(the left considers them white since George Zimmerman)
Beaners, Spics are Puerto Ficans
The white supremecists are consistent with their racial sorting. The progs have more fluid racial sorting process depending on the person on question and what they have recently done.
He was adopted.
As stated below, I have zero reason to believe anything they say. I get more reliable information from the schizophrenic homeless guy on the corner.
When he tells you world is going to end, he’s not wrong.
What bugs me about this is that we already know more about this guy in 24 hours than we do after months of investigation in the Vegas shooting.
I’m pretty much convinced that there is a cover up going on with the Vegas deal. I don’t know what actually happened, but for it to still be a mystery after all this time, I believe something has to be being hidden.
It’s pretty obvious that what information they did find was unfavorable to the Dems’ Lefty narrative so it was suppressed. Like I said, you have to be a fool to trust a damn word they say.
https://twitter.com/alexseltzer/status/964162027840245761
Commentators: Oh, that poor man lost his daugh…..wait a second….what’s that on his shirt? Literally Hitler! I’m glad your daughter is dead!
Twitter is the Nick Gillespie of social media. And social media is anal cancer
The Nick Gillespie of ass cancer. That’s bad.
Also note that I am implying that Nick Gillespie is worse than anal cancer. Which is pretty rough. It might have been the Nick Gillespie of comparisons
Those people have a moral compass that doesn’t point true north.
It points due South as in toward Hell.
so Nikolas de Jesus Cruz was a white supremacist? fascinating.
Frankly, given the way that Lefties are crawling over one another to be the first to stand on the pile of bodies, I have no faith that any of the white supremacist stuff is valid. I have no reason to trust a damn word they say.
Nazi or not, I bet TOS will be running those brave “We Hate Nazi” articles again for the next 48 hours like after Charlottesville. So brave. So god damn brave
What’s wrong with that? Unless you’re a Nazi. Well, are ya a Nazi? Huh? EVERYONE, EVERYONE, COME QUICK – I’VE OUTED A NAZI!
Rheeee!
He was adopted. It’s possible he is not Hispanic at all.
We need common sense adoption control.
good point. he could be a Russian meth-hooker baby.
I beg your pardon, they were PISS hookers, not meth hookers. Fake news!
Reposted for truth, and applies to this twat thread.
https://youtu.be/0rJMHqzZzes?t=1553
I want nothing but bad things to happen to those people. Seriously, how fucking evil do you have to be at heart when THAT is your reaction to a father whose daughter was just murdered?
Oh man, the replies to that Twitter thread. Your friends and neighbours, folks, and they vote.
I think these people end up hurting their cause more than helping it. It’s like progtards quadrupling down on the TDS derp. Regular people see that and say “I don’t want to be associated with people you think that way.”
Yeah, you’re probably right. Still eye cancer.
I took this back to some of my prog friends to lament the current state of discourse, and how sickening it is that they’d attack him in that manner. This is the reply I got.
Where are you, SMOD. Humanity doesn’t deserve to exist.
Whoever wrote that should not be your friend anymore.
Jesus Christ, man. How insipid and retrograde can someone be? It’s fewer.
Thanks, Stannis.
Wow. That first sentence doesn’t contain one single valid cause and effect, but it does hold a whole shit ton of stupid.
Your friend, you say? That’s the kind of guy that would be the first to put you into the cattle car.
Commentators: Oh, that poor man lost his daugh…..wait a second….what’s that on his shirt? Literally Hitler! I’m glad your daughter is dead!
The people in that twatstorm are the scum of the earth.
Come on, man. You are literally right underneath the thread you’re replying to. You are hilarious
P. Brooks is nothing if not consistent.
It cracks me up. He puts so much effort into breaking basic decorum.
Brooks is like the Japanese soldier they found on Lublang in the 70s. He doesn’t realize the great anti-threading war is over and his side lost.
TOS was better before threading.
I wish violent C diff on every one of them.
Thanks for the deconstructed cheesesteak, UCS. I love cheesesteak. #notveganbutdelicious
I think Cruz was just part of a conspiracy to save Remington from bankruptcy
nothing can save the creators of the RP9 from bankruptcy. and if that aint enough reason, i’ve got one more word: Marlin
Remington’s Ch. 11 is being celebrated. It gets them out from under the mountainous, malodorous shadow of Cerberus Capital Management. Couple years, a smart purchaser, and a re-org and they’ll be in much better shape.
Their guns though – well – we’ll see.
This could be great. It could be terrible. But it makes me happy anyway because Kool Keith is my favorite MC*
https://twitter.com/consequence/status/964233401711693824
(*and i don’t even like half his catalog; his good stuff is so good that it makes up for the rest. he’s one of very few people in hiphop who is 100% original)
**and the 1 track they demo there is pretty terrible. still. there could be one or two gems.
I was pretty much all done at “Octagon baby wipes.”
keep in mind that the original record gave the guest-rappers names like “Chewbacca Uncircumsized”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abky6hbKPpg
iow, its pointedly absurd. its closer to ‘musical comic-book’ than “rap”
and that’s basically Dan the Automator’s entire thing, fwiw.
he’s made probably a dozen of these projects which involve, “partner with established musical performer; create fictitious persona and bizarre alternative-universe; write songs where fictitious persona describe their crazy universe”
Gorillaz, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Deltron 3030, Peeping Tom (w/ Mike Patton), the OG Dr.Octagon etc.
its a very hit-and-miss approach. sometimes it produces great tracks (Gorillaz stuff went platinum), sometimes its just too-weird for anyone.
Interesting historical notes
P. Brooks is nothing if not consistent.
I endeavor to persevere.
1lb ground beef
1lb bacon
1 egg
beef onion soup mix
dash soy sauce
dash worsterschire
spices
glaze with Duck Sauce
That sounds like sauteed nightmares
His only instruction was to glaze the ingredients. So it’s not terribly edible.
More seriously though – is that meatloaf?
Might work a lot better as a meatloaf. Or: things stolen out of a 1970s cookbook.
Paging James Lileks on the avocado-colored rotary phone.
After I bought my house I discovered one of those in my basement.
It’s still in my basement.
Don’t you people work? I come home and find I missed the Cheese Steak post? I was fond of the “Pizza Steak” at Pat’s: Steak, provolone, and marinara sauce. No wiz, thank you very much.