SKUNK APE…AKA SWAMPSQUATCH
STEVE SMITH GET CALL FROM FRIEND ZARDOZ. IT SEEM HIM WANT HELP WITH, OR ADVICE ON SKUNK APE. BIG STONE HEAD IN LUCK. SKUNKY IS OLD COLLEGE ROOMIE! WE SHARE DORM AT CRYPTID U, FRESHBEAST YEAR. LATER ON WE SPLIT APARTMENT WITH JERSEY DEVIL. THOSE WERE DAYS. STUDY, RAPE, DRINK, RAPE, CRAM FOR EXAMS. BY CRAM FOR EXAMS, ALSO MEAN RAPE.
SKUNKY HAS THING FOR DEER. HIM ONLY STOP RAPE FOR DEER SACRIFICE. AND, MAYBE, TO GET BEERS WITH CHUPACABRA. WORD OF ADVICE – NO PLAY BEER PONG WITH CHUPACABRA. HIM CHAMP OF ALL TIME. STEVE SMITH FIND OUT HARD WAY. WAKE UP WITH SHARPIE DRAWINGS ALL OVER SELF AND HEADACHE.
SO STEVE SMITH WILL HELP. HIM TALK TO UNCLE MAPINGUARI, HAVE SKUNKY GO VISIT HIM FOR CARNIVAL! THIS ONLY WORK ONCE, SO WHO ZARDOZ HELP, BETTER NOT CROSS SKUNK APE AGAIN.
STEVE: Have you ever partied with Batboy?
Very funny – everyone knows Batboy isn’t real!
Maybe not, but Manbat is real. I saw him.
But I saw it in the Weekly World News! He has to be real!
+1 ED ANGER
You roomed with JERSEY DEVIL?
I never realized you were a Princeton Man! Dei Sub Numine Viget!
Is “Cryptid U” a nickname for Princeton?
Last time I was down there, they had an awful lot of the kinds of people H.P. Lovecraft would have tut-tutted at.
Swarthy Lascars, the scourings of the wharves of far Cathay, verminous (((Levantines))), Bostonians …
Can STEVE visit Vermont? This guy needs a sit down.
Cop is involved in three fatal shootings in six months and still is walking around with a gun. FFS.
Wait a second…he was pointing the gun at his own head and they shot him. Clearly a threat to the heroes in blue.
Sounds like Trooper Shooty McShooterson has been racking up quite the body count.
He gets a special award once he has five notches on his Glock.
He would have shot Sheriff Bart.
Yep, and he’s pretty despondent about his grounding.
“and they shot him”
No no, you don’t get it, his weapon discharged. What are you gonna do when your weapon discharges?, it’s not like anyone is responsible for a weapon discharging, Sheesh.
Weird. I know a bunch of cops, active and retired. A quick count of their shootings comes to… exactly zero.
This fucker is either Dirty Harry or needs to do something else.
Don’t you know how much crime is in Vermont?
Do you guys plan on doing a Hope Hicks girly pics thread too? #MakeHopeHicksHalfNakedAgain
God bless America!
That’s like MAGA porn
The first official Glib pr0n will be Sarah Palin with a hunting rifle, Hope with that eagle, and that right wing Asian lady with her assault rifle. MAPGA! Make American pr0n great again! The left will get so triggered.
What about 7-year-old deer hunter? Throw OMWC a bone here.
I thought SKUNK APE was STEVE SMITH FLORIDA COUSIN SWAMP SMITH!!
COLLEGE ROOMMATE KIND OF LIKE COUSIN. ONLY WITHOUT INCEST-RAPE.
Well, Sea Smith suddenly appeared on the scene. Why not Swamp Smith?
Can i get a don’t you people work over here?
At least one of us is working.
Sorry, too busy right now!
BY WORK, DO YOU MEAN RAPE?
STEVE SMITH GIVE YOU DON’T YOU PEOPLE WORK AND BY DON’T WORK MEAN RAPE.
This story about Don Jr’s wife and the white powder is getting weird already. CNN are reporting that the powder was innocuous, but that 3 people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries. How did a innocuous substance cause injuries? Did they get a paper cut on the envelope or is CNN being overly sloppy as usual?
I thought that the original story was “taken to the hospital as a precaution.” Minor injuries? Maybe they tripped over something getting into the suburbans?