Afternoon Links – Disease Edition

PRAY FOR THE STRICKEN GLIBS!

 

Plague, Ague, Catarrh, Dropsy, Bloody Flux, Grippe and other ills have laid waste to Brett (and various other Glibs Founders). But the Links must be delivered to the waiting masses….OK, the waiting hundreds. Dozens? Right. Anyway… here are yer Links.

  • A new movement arises! The Girthers! They have an esteemed leader who is brave enough to diagnose from afar! (TW: CNN)
  • Scienticians are sciencing the shit out of a shot! Faster, science faster!
  • Socialism’s success story continues. Why won’t the world emulate this?!
  • Speaking of disease…and socialism.
  • Sweden is…alarmed.

I am off to put on a precautionary cataplasm and find my flask of elemental mercury….and the laudanum.

Comments

531 responses to “Afternoon Links – Disease Edition”

  1. Rufus the Monocled

    Hi.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Shwmae.

    1. Juvenile Bluster

      eh?

      In Orlando on business today. Noticed a lot of Quebec license plates headed north. I can only determine that the Quebecois are actually lizardpeople and were unhappy with the recent weather. And it’s going to be 32 degrees tonight in Orlando.

      1. MR. LIZARD COMMA COVER IS BLOWN STOP RETURN ALL AGENTS TO QUEBEC STOP SEND RETRIEVAL BOATS TO MONTREAL STOP BREAK BREAK HQ SENDS STOP END

        1. Mr Lizard

          ACK

      2. Rufus the Monocled
        1. Juvenile Bluster

          I’m fine with the Quebecois invasion of South Florida every winter for two reasons:

          1. They’re the reason we don’t have a state income tax
          2. There’s this really awesome place just south of downtown Fort Lauderdale off US-1 that makes the best poutine in the United States

          1. Playa Manhattan

            In n Out burger?

          2. Rufus the Monocled

            No spontaneous hockey games in the street?

          3. Shinny on the pond! Just watch out for Gators.

      3. Mad Scientist

        Frozen Quebecois Falling From Trees After Cold Snap in Orlando

    2. Rufus the Monocled

      Go fuck yourself Gupta. While we’re at it, you too Al Gore. And the WH press corp. And Hillary.

      And…

      1. Just Say’n

        Take it down a notch.

        Also, I read Norm MacDonald’s book and I have taking a liking to your kind, if only because of MacDonald

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Is it worth buying?

          1. Just Say’n

            Yes

      2. Chipwooder

        And Cory Booker, for the most pathetic and phony public spectacle I’ve ever seen from a politician, which is REALLY saying something.

        Hey, remember when it was so gauche to offer long-distance diagnoses of, say, Parkinson’s or seizures?

    3. Tonio

      Hello, Rufus.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        Is it Roofus? Or is it Ruffus?

        1. WE WANT JUST-US
          ROOF-US!

          /Jesse Jackson patter

        2. AlexinCT

          Inquiring minds want to know!

        3. Tonio

          “Roof Us”

          1. PBRstreetgang

            “Roof E. Us”

          2. Tundra

            No, that’s jesse.

    4. Tundra

      Yo, Rufus!

    5. DEG

      ¡Hola!

    6. MikeS

      Guten Abend, Herr Rufus

  2. Boob fact: Etymology of the word boob is a 1950’s shortening of “booby”, which itself in the 1930’s came from “bubby”. “Bubby” likely derives from the German “Bübbi” which means ‘teat’.

    https://archive.is/Laxsf

    8, 18, 23, 24, 25, 27, 31, 43.

          1. Tundra

            Eating too much is a secret?

          2. Mad Scientist

            That reminds me of this.

      1. RBS

        She should really put some pants on.

      2. But Enough About Me

        Good Heavens.

        I’ll be in my bunk.

    1. Chipwooder

      23 24 31 33

    2. Tundra

      Repeat.

      But 33 wins.

    3. trshmnstr

      King Solomon enjoyed the boobs.

      May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

      Prov. 3:18-19.

    4. DEG

      #16’s fake beard wrecked it.

      #44 is Kat Dennings. #8 looked familiar, but I didn’t know whom she is, so I ran her picture through Google image search. First hit.

      I’ll just take a threesome with #44 and #8.

  3. Just Say’n

    I was told that it was Republicans that are the extremists on abortion. Yet, they have to pro-choice Senators and numerous numbers in the House.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/369308-two-dem-house-members-back-challenger-to-anti-abortion-rights-dem

  4. Just Say’n

    “Sweden is…alarmed.”

    Swedes- who needs them

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      Massage parlours?

    2. Ah, a Norwegian.

      *nods*

    3. Grumbletarian

      Swimsuit teams?

    4. Trigger Hippie

      Hipsters obsessed with Ikea?

    5. Tres Cool

      Smörgåsbord operators?

  5. Sean

    The girthers?

    Really?

    1. People so dumb they cannot tell muscle from fat…

      WHYCOME HE SAY HE WEIGH SAME AS ATHLETE?

      Athlete is muscle with no fat, Trump is McDonalds and just enough muscle to push Diet Coke button and golf…

      1. RBS

        and bang pornstars.

      2. Tres Cool

        Most cops are nothing more than donut batter and coffee, held together with a gun belt. Until they get some disability. Then they’re ‘roid-stuffed gym rats.

    2. The Other Kevin

      When I saw that I expected it to refer to penis girth vs length. Reading the article has not changed that.

      1. Girth over length every time.

        1. Gordilocks

          Keep telling yourself that, Q.

          1. Just Say’n

            He’s dissing your wang

          2. AlexinCT

            I heard Q loves to tell the ladies he is shaped like a tuna can.. He ain’t getting in very deep, but he sure as hell is gonna scrape the hell out of the sides…

          3. Bobarian LMD

            Need to refresh moar often.

            dammit.

        2. Tres Cool

          +1 Girth Brooks

        3. Lachowsky

          Mine may not be very long, but it sure is skinny.

        4. Bobarian LMD

          Like a tuna can?

  6. Speaking of disease…and socialism.

    Cervical cancer awareness

  7. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/953653315962916870

    How dare Greenwald point out the obvious fact that all the people screaming “literally Hitler” have literally rubber stamped unprecedented executive authority

    1. Chipwooder

      And the same people crying about how Trump attacks the media didn’t give a shit when the Obama administration tried to prosecute James Rosen?

    2. Ed Wuncler

      The Left loves Executive misuse when it achieves their ends. Seriously, debate any of them about Obama’s overreaches and they will sputter for a while but suddenly admit that perhaps, you do indeed have to break some eggs to make an omelet.

    3. Juvenile Bluster

      I don’t like Greenwald, but I respect him.

      1. Just Say’n

        Greenwald has bad domestic politics (you can’t quite figure out that expanding government always has negative repercussions), but he is spot on in terms of foreign policy and civil liberties. He’s an old fashioned liberal

      2. Chipwooder

        I think he’s wrong about quite a few things, but I believe he’s honest, something I believe about very few journalists.

      3. Playa Manhattan

        He lost my respect after he endorsed Manning for senate.

        1. Chipwooder

          Didn’t see that……well, that was pretty damned stupid then.

        2. Just Say’n

          I would wager that some other people that you respect will soon become vocal defenders of Manning. People make bad political choices. I don’t think one action thoroughly discredits everything they believe in

          1. Bobarian LMD

            It is Maryland, xe could be running against literally Hitler.

        3. Gordilocks

          I seriously don’t see why Manning would be any worse than any of the other rotting corpses currently occupying the upper chamber.

          #congressionaltermlimits

          1. Playa Manhattan

            I want to burn it all to the ground, but not that way.

      4. Ed Wuncler

        My Lefty friend (he refers to himself as a Libertarian socialist) hates him with a passion and accused him of being a lackey for the Russians.

        1. Just Say’n

          I thought we were all Russian trolls? I’m sitting in St. Petersburg right now

          1. Just Say’n

            I’ve said too much already

          2. grrizzly

            Some of us are more Russian, just say’n.

          3. Election hack confirmed.

          4. AlexinCT

            Da Tavarish.

        2. Rufus the Monocled

          Make sure to tell your friend that Rufus says ‘libertarian socialist’ is a fricken oxymoron.

        3. Grumbletarian

          I’m an Anarcho-Fascist, personally.

    4. Rufus the Monocled

      More
      Replying to @ggreenwald
      I think its very brilliant how you simultaneously argue that theres no evidence of Russian collusion or interference in our elections, while arguing against the only methods that can gather that evidence. you’re information war against the u.s. intel community is so clever 🙂

      They’ve turned on him!

      1. Not an Economist

        So the only way to see if the Russians are spying on the US is for the US to spy on the US?

        I don’t get it.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          This is an example of their whimsical five-dimensional critical thinking skills.

  8. Count Potato

    “New think tank at Duke focused on ‘sexism, homophobia, gender bias and violence’
    The Women’s Center and student government at Duke University have collaborated to introduce a gender-centric think tank on campus, one “committed to fostering an inclusive Duke experience for all students.”

    The organization, titled “Think Gender,” provides “a space for respectful dialogue about gender equity,” according to the Student Affairs website. It is billed as being “focused on programs and initiatives of three key areas: Women, Men, LGBTQ+.”

    Reached for comment via email, Duke Women’s Center spokeswoman Bibi Gnagno told The College Fix that the organization is also working to “illuminate the interrelationship of sexism, homophobia, gender bias and violence, advocate on behalf of survivors of gender based discrimination, and be a portal of campus and community resources for Duke’s LGBT community, women, and other intersections of identity (race, class, ability, etc.).””

    https://www.thecollegefix.com/post/40986/

    I guess they didn’t learn from the lacrosse thing.

    1. It will take a few more hefty settlements to hit the ol’ endowment.

      1. AlexinCT

        What could possibly go wrong with this nonsense, huh?

    2. Tres Cool

      Its Nifong-tastic!

      1. There’s Nifong wrong with that!

    3. a space for respectful dialogue about gender equity

      Sure …

    4. SimonD

      Unfortunately, the lesson they learned is that they needed to get rid of that pesky Due Process thing.

  9. The song I blasted at maximum volume to the consternation of my neighbors after I defended my thesis.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmhURqyP9qY

    1. Just Say’n

      Oooh…a ‘doctor’. We had a guy in undergrad we nicknamed ‘doctor’. That was because it took him eight years to finish his bachelor’s degree. Good guy.

      1. Not the kind that helps people or does anything worthwhile.

        1. Just Say’n

          I gathered as much when you said you defended a thesis rather than completing your clinical.

          History?

          1. juris imprudent

            My son is scheduled to defend his dissertation in bio-chem in March.

            I suggest this as he enters the room

  10. Tundra

    Jesus christ, California, you need to clean up your shit.

    Chances of them doing anything if it wasn’t a blessed bike path?

    1. Just Say’n

      “We care about the poor- but from a distance”

    2. Juvenile Bluster

      Sometimes I used to point out the homeless problem in California’s big cities to the (far lesser) problem in places like Houston and ask whatever “progressive” I’m talking to the difference. They usually didn’t know. Until Harvey. After Harvey they knew about Houston’s zoning laws (or lack thereof) and blamed them for the flood damage.

    3. Yusef drives a Kia

      It’s also the Santa Ana Riverbed, not a good place when it rains, then SAR has to pluck them out of the flood

  11. Just Say’n

    https://www.libertarianism.org/media/liberty-chronicles/haitian-revolution-jason-kuznicki?utm_content=63137072&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

    Great moments in ‘shit hole’ history. The uniqueness of the Haitian Revolution is underappreciated. Damn, Frenchies

    1. Heroic Mulatto

      Well, it does remain the most successful slave revolt in recorded history. Not even Spartacus managed to found a nation.

      1. So what you’re saying is – it’s a bad idea for slaves to revolt and they should wait for abolition instead?

        1. Just Say’n

          In what way could you gather that from what HM said?

          Haiti is not a paradise, but there are multiple reasons why that is. Most are self-induced, no doubt, but their revolt against the French created only the second independent nation in North America. And you are taking the side of the French? You’re in time out. Defending the French is just unacceptable.

          1. Wow, you took that seriously?

          2. Just Say’n

            Anytime someone defends the French, I get very upset. I’m sorry.

          3. Just Say’n

            Those damn cheese eating surrender monkeys

          4. Gustave Lytton

            Show us on the map where France hurt you, Just Say’n.

          5. robc

            76% of French electricity is nuke power.

            Other than that, they suck, but that makes up for a lot.

          6. grrizzly

            Say what you want but the French won the war of independence for the American colonies.

          7. Just Say’n

            Nonsense

          8. Heroic Mulatto

            I’ll defer to Raven, but I believe you’re over-egging the pudding. The Franco-American alliance certainly hastened the end of the war, but by the time the French entered the war, Burgoyne had already surrendered, leaving the northern theater all but won.

          9. Tulip

            My favorite block quilt pattern is called Burgoyne Surrounded.

          10. Raven Nation

            Yeah, Saratoga caused the British to re-think their strategy. It also led the French into the war which led to a further re-think to make sure they held onto their sugar colonies. The British switched to a “southern strategy” to protect South Carolina (rice) and the Caribbean sugar colonies. And it was mostly Greene’s strategy which exhausted the British southern forces causing them to retreat to Yorktown.

            That said, the French fleet performed one of the most decisive actions of the war when they blocked British access at Virginia Capes. And, just having the French in the war forced the British to disperse their forces to fight a European War. So, hard to be sure: likely the US would have won anyway. But, without the French fleet, they get most of their troops out of Yorktown which means no surrender and no further loss of public opinion in Britain as had happened after Saratoga.

          11. Yusef drives a Kia

            Where’d you go to School? Russia?
            😉

        2. Heroic Mulatto

          Going by historical record, usually yes. Armed revolt by slaves tends to only work if a.) the slave population vastly outnumbers their masters, and b.) they are isolated from the enslavers’ centers of power (e.g., colonies, frontiers, etc.). Nonviolent revolt, at least in a modern context, seems to work better when you can use the high ground to induce the community of nations to pressure the slavers based on an accepted moral norm.

        3. Dr. Fronkensteen

          I can’t remember. But aren’t Haiti and the U.S. the only countries to end slavery with violence and everyone else did it by legislative or monarchical fiat. Or am I missing a few examples.

          1. A lot of places ended slavery because the Royal Navy put the boot to their supply lines.

          2. robc

            So, two countries ended it via internal violence.

          3. And there are countries which “Officially” ended it, but don’t bother to enforce that Western idea.

          4. Raven Nation

            And thought up the worst possible punishment: transportation to Australia.

          5. Heroic Mulatto

            I’m having a hard time thinking of any other examples.

          6. Raven Nation

            Russia ended the slavery of capitalism by violence.

      2. Rufus the Monocled

        Yeh but could they shout…

        I.

        AM.

        SPARTACUS!

        1. AlexinCT

          What about

          THIS. IS. SPARTA!

      3. Pan Zagloba

        I’d give a nod to Mameluks over them. They had more to work with, but damn if they didn’t work it hard.

      4. Homple

        Part of the success was due to a Mr. Dessalines who helped ensure that the former slave masters would no longer bother the former slaves.

    2. Suthenboy

      The Haitian revolution mostly amounted to the French walking off and leaving the place. They were stretched too thin and just abandoned the place.
      It is sad really. They simply didn’t have the culture or institutions or knowledge to build a decent nation. They were essentially feral humans with no eduction put out to drift.

  12. Chipwooder

    So New Jersey goes from Krispy Kreme to this guy. Sucks to be them.

    1. Sean

      NJ is so fucked. I know people who still live there and I feel bad for them make fun of them.

    2. I. B. McGinty

      I’m not the smartest guy in the world and I have the grades to prove it. But if illegal immigration is a problem, maybe look at ways to make becoming a citizen easier? I’m told the process is long and cumbersome, so that seems like a good place to start.

    3. Welcome to the Department of Feelz.

  13. Lachowsky

    “The booklet, titled “If Crisis or War Comes,” will advise people on how they can take part in the “total defense” of the country and offer practical information on how to prepare their homes, secure food and water, and even what clothes to pack in case of evacuation, Quartz reported.”

    I’m gonna guess the swedes are going to regret disarming themselves if the Bear ever attacks.

    1. Caput Lupinum

      That’s why they have the Finns as a buffer. If Russia actually manages to take Finland out, Sweden was fucked either way.

      1. Tundra

        They’ll roll through Finland like the Vikings D-line through a kindergarten class. 2018 Finland is a pale, pathetic shadow of the badasses of yesterday.

        Sad!

        1. Gordilocks

          Is there no Simo Haaya amongst them in 2018?

          #bestsniper
          #500+deadcommies

          1. #ironsights
            #-40winter

        2. Caput Lupinum

          They have universal conscription and a decent domestic munitions production, they should do alright. Sako still makes a good rifle.

        3. Gordilocks

          Tangential story about The Finns –

          I’m hanging out at a small beach cabin thing on a tiny island in Thailand with my wife a couple of years back.

          I’m having a yarn with the proprietor, a local Thai fellow who spoke English quite well.
          I asked him what he did during the monsoon/hot season, when there are no tourists around, and his little island regularly has the shit kicked out of it by Mother Nature.

          ‘I go to Finland. During their summer, I am the logistics co-ordinator for 800 other Thai people who go to Finland during every Finn summer, and we spend six to eight weeks picking blueberries.’

          So the Finns have to import their own version of Mexicans to pick their blueberry crop for them.

          Between that and the vodka, yeah, maybe not looking so good when or if Putin and Co. come calling.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            There are a lot of Thai seasonal workers who go to Israel too.

          2. Chipwooder

            +1 jobs that Finns won’t do

        4. Juvenile Bluster

          Finland’s ability to wage defensive war against the USSR is one of the most amazing feats of war in modern human history.

          1. PBRstreetgang

            It certainly is. My son has been reading about the Finnish defense and now he wants to be a Finn.

          2. Gordilocks

            Simo Haaya and guerilla warfare on skis = winning.

  14. Juan-Baptiste Emmanuel Seguin

    Unfortunately, while this is high quality derp, it’s brevity is unsatisfying.

    Why Haiti is poor

    No mention of Dessalines I see…or Duvalier. Wonder why?

    1. Tonio

      “this ridiculous debt…some of it borrowed from banks in the United States…”

      Those poor Haitians, who would have thought that bankers, US and otherwise, would actually expect people to pay back their voluntarily-contracted loans?

      1. Heroic Mulatto

        To be fair, at this point, do the Chinese actually expect to get their money back from us?

        1. Gordilocks

          This, and, “voluntarily contracted”

          I’m not sure that when the IMF and other degenerate Banksters come calling, that everything is above board, and not offered under completely lopsided circumstances and conditions.

        2. Caput Lupinum

          No, not money, but it’d be fair to say they expect something.

          1. Heroic Mulatto

            They are not getting America’s Sweetheart, Taylor Swift, in exchange. Not as long as I draw breath.

          2. Gordilocks

            Will you and OMWC be fighting for her as The Chinese roll in?

          3. Raven Nation

            Huh. I thought you were America’s sweetheart?

          4. Heroic Mulatto

            I’m America’s Sweatheart. It’s a common mistake to make.

          5. Caput Lupinum

            I say we give them Justin Beiber in a dress and see how long it takes them to notice.

          6. JaimeRoberto

            Wait, I’m confused. She is the opposite of thicc and you’re calling her America’s Sweetheart?

          7. juris imprudent

            HM admits to his un-American ways.

        3. Tres Cool

          Japan always gets repaid. They have a….*dons sunglasses*……YEN for it

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is it Whitey? It’s Whitey isn’t it?

    3. Scruffy Nerfherder

      In Haiti’s defense, France and its allies did threaten to attack the country to collect reparations in retaliation for revolting. And this system led to an institution of tax leeching the populace to pay it back. But the point stands that those reparations , and the interest on the debt borrowed to pay it, ended in 1947. Haiti’s current status as a endemically corrupt state may be partially a result of this extortion, but it is not the whole reason.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    Battery light came on this morning. Let’s see if the truck starts tonight.

    1. Tundra

      How old is the vehicle?

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Three year old Ram with less than 50k miles.

        It did start this afternoon! It’s a work truck so the shop gets it in the morning. If it starts then.

        1. Tundra

          Kinda fresh for a bad alternator. Belt maybe?

          1. Mad Scientist

            Three years is about right for a cheap, stock battery, especially if the battery is in a location where it gets hot.

          2. Tundra

            Does the light come on, though? The last couple times my batteries pukes, I don’t remember it happening.

          3. Mad Scientist

            Yeah, I forgot about the light. Weak belt tensioner?

    2. Private Chipperbot

      The light’s working. You’re all set!

      1. Gustave Lytton

        Hey thanks! Make the check out to Chipperbot’s Garage?

  16. Tonio

    So, over the weekend I purged the house off all the CFLs and took a big bag of them to the Lowe’s where they have a designated metal bin for CFL recycling. Yeah, the printed instructions showed putting each bulb in a bag, but there was no supply of CFL-putting-in bags so I gayly begin to put the hated, dim, flicker, latent CFLs through the special hopper door in the metal bin of CFL disposal, noting that the inner bin appeared to be already lined with a bag. About halfway through the process customer service woman starts yelling at me about bags. “No bags here,” I reply, “do you have the bags?” At this she gives me a look of disgust and stomps off. I finish my business and buy roughly a hundred dollars worth of LED bulbs to replace both the CFLs and many of the incandescent lamps in Castello Tonio.

    I’ve always suspected that a huge proportion of CFLs ended up in landfills where they are leaking mercury. And a not insignificant amount of CFL mercury ended up in storm drains where they might have flown directly into waterways from bulbs that broke in garages and outdoor fixtures. Goddamn hippies.

    1. Mad Scientist

      You’re supposed to pat yourself on the back and not think about it.

    2. Tundra

      I hated those fucking things. The LEDs have been pretty good, though. The light quality is improving a lot.

      1. Playa Manhattan

        Anything but Cree. 10 years my ass.

      2. Chipwooder

        The light quality from LEDs is much, much better than CFLs (though still not close to incandescents). The longevity has been a mixed bag – I’ve had some lasting years now and some others that have long since died.

        1. Incandescants had terrible light profiles. I was confused why one of the lights put out brown light until I checked the bulb and found it was incandescant. The closest I’ve seen an incandescent get to decent light was still a piss-yellow.

          1. Tonio

            Daylight is 5000K. Regular household incandescents generally radiate at about 3200K, halogen incandescents get up to about 3400K; their light output is weighted towards the infra-red part of the spectrum because of the technology. Fluoros of all types are generally 2700K, again as a function of the technology – phosphorus (or whatever) fluoresces at a certain wavelength.

            LEDs produce monochromatic light at pretty much any frequency you want. I lamped some ceiling fixtures with 5000K daylight LED lamps but the effect was too harsh, so I repurposed those bulbs for utility spaces and relamped with 3200K soft white.

            Yes, I am a lighting geek.

          2. Don’t have a way to visualize those numbers in my head.

            Without cloud cover, daylight rates as “Too fuckin’ bright”. I already said my piece about the main artificial options.

          3. kinnath

            Not brightness. This is about temperature (color) of the light emitted by the bulb.

          4. I said my piece about the color of the light.

            Sunlight is still too fukin’ bright.

          5. robc

            But not enough of a geek to you nm instead of angstrom. ugh.

          6. robc

            use

          7. Gustave Lytton

            My garage lights are picked based on their heating ability. Light output is secondary. Same for the pump house.

    3. Such a waste of mercury.

      1. Tres Cool

        Come for the mercury, but die from the vapor.

    4. Dumb Canadian Football League joke here.

      #goRoughRiders!

  17. Tulip

    I’ve pulled a muscle in my back from coughing so hard. I’m also out of work for the rest of the week as I officially have the flu for the second time this season. And, yes,I got the flu shot.

    1. Mad Scientist

      It seems like everyone I know who got the shot also got the flu.

      1. RBS

        Same here. I pointed this out to my mom earlier and her response was that I still should have taken the shot.

      2. Gordilocks

        I haven’t taken a flu shot since I was in elementary school. I’m now 38 years old, and I’ve contracted the flu 3 times.

        The flu shot is a fucking scam.

      3. AlmightyJB

        Yeah they said it wasn’t working very well this year. I got one and haven’t had it yet though.

        1. Scruffy Nerfherder

          Original effectiveness was rated at ten percent. Updated shots are rated at thirty percent. Still lousy.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            They put out a 2.0 for this season?

          2. Scruffy Nerfherder

            Apparently, or it may be just a shift in the prevalent flu strain.

          3. Caput Lupinum

            They’ll typically go through several iterations every year as they try to dial in what strains are actually prevalent. Early fly shots are always a crap shoot. I used to work at a manufacturing plant for flu vaccines, among others diseases. They are always recalibrating the vaccines.

          4. hayeksplosives

            Doctor of internal medicine who took care of me during my recent hospitalization with flu & pneumonia said it was 10% this year.
            H3N2 is a real beast.

      4. Tulip

        I seem to be really susceptible to flu, but have generally avoided it since I started getting the shot every year. Just not this year.

    2. Oh fudge. I’ve been coughing non-stop for the past two days, and now I’ve got the body aches. People at work were dropping like flies but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together.

      In brighter news, this is just another good justification to indefinitely postpone hernia surgery and go to jury duty instead.

      1. Lachowsky

        Maybe you can get the prosecutor and the judge sick.

    3. Tulip

      I have the best dog. She was snuggling with me when the dog walker came. She jumped off the bed “my friend!” ran to the top the stairs and stopped. “You need me!” Turned and ran back to the bed. He called her and she ran to the top of the stairs, then back to me. I had to get up and walk her down the stairs. When they came back, she came charging up the stairs as soon as her leash was off. “I am here human and I will comfort you!”

    4. Playa Manhattan

      I was 104.5 this morning. Very close to a trip to the ER.

      I’m going to have to wake up every 5.5 hours to take Tylenol tonight if I want to avoid that tomorrow.

      1. Gordilocks

        Keep checking in, bro. Tabarnak.

      2. grrizzly

        That’s awfully high. Hope you get better soon.

      3. Tulip

        That IS a trip to the ER. Yikes!

        1. Playa Manhattan

          I can put ice bags under my armpits at home.

      4. Gustave Lytton

        That’s getting too close to brain cooking temps. Get well Playa!

      5. hayeksplosives

        Bear this in mind: The doc at my followup said that CVS has just announced they’re out of Tamiflu.

        Get your dose while the getting’s good.

        1. Contrarian P

          Tamiflu doesn’t work. Don’t bother.

      6. DEG

        Yikes, I hope you get well soon.

  18. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Speaking of Trump’s alleged lardassiosity, don’t they have him jammed in a bullet proof vest every time he’s in public? He’s not exactly svelte but these people have lost their damn minds.

  19. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Universal flu vaccine, now we’re talking.

    Interestingly, nowhere in that article did I see a mention of the CDC. They must be too busy fighting e-cigarettes and teen dating violence.

  20. LJW

    “Scienticians are sciencing the shit out of a shot! Faster, science faster!”

    Some suspect Aspirin may have aided the death toll from the Spanish flu.

    1. Tulip

      How did aspirin contribute? I’m curious.

      1. Reye’s syndrome maybe?

      2. Caput Lupinum

        The high case-fatality rate—especially among young adults—during the 1918–1919 influenza pandemic is incompletely understood. Although late deaths showed bacterial pneumonia, early deaths exhibited extremely “wet,” sometimes hemorrhagic lungs. The hypothesis presented herein is that aspirin contributed to the incidence and severity of viral pathology, bacterial infection, and death, because physicians of the day were unaware that the regimens (8.0–31.2 g per day) produce levels associated with hyperventilation and pulmonary edema in 33% and 3% of recipients, respectively. Recently, pulmonary edema was found at autopsy in 46% of 26 salicylate-intoxicated adults.

        Source.

  21. Lachowsky

    “A century after one of history’s most catastrophic disease outbreaks, scientists are rethinking how to guard against another super-flu like the 1918 influenza that killed tens of millions as it swept the globe.”

    My neighbor has an 800 acre plot of land right across the road from me. On the back side of it, there is an old family cemetery that dates to the late 1800s. There are a lot of grave markers for young children that are dated 1918-1920. That would have been a tough time to live.

    1. Suthenboy

      Yeah, those old cemetarys are interesting.

      Whole families buried together on the same date = house fire
      Rows of people under 20 close together in date = mostly yellow fever or dysentery
      countless young men fallen in battle

      We are lucky to be alive now and not then

      1. Gordilocks

        We are lucky to be alive now and not then.

        A universal truth.

      2. Tulip

        What is really sad is how often there is a few months old child, then one or two years later, another few months old child. I can’t imagine the heartbreak.

        1. ElspethFlashman

          Yes. I have a grave I keep visiting when I go to Charleston. It’s a family plot, and I figured out the oldest child lived until she was 1. But she saw 4 younger siblings die first.

          1. ElspethFlashman

            *until she was 11*

      3. DEG

        Both my grandmothers had siblings die very young. My dad’s mother’s youngest sister died at age 4. My mom’s mom never knew her older sibling (can’t remember brother/sister) because her parents’ first kid died about the time my grandmother was born.

        1. Chipwooder

          My mom’s father and my dad’s mother both had little sisters die young – one at 4, one at 7. In my grandfathers’s case, both of his parents died within two years of his sister, leaving him and his brother orphans. My grandmother’s other younger sister also died young, at age 15 in a car wreck. She had a rough life growing up – those tragedies, and her dad was a sharecropper so they were dirt poor. Oh, and the Depression started when she was 8.

  22. Why doesn’t TurboTax get that when I start working on my return it’s always “Preparatory Data Modelling” without all the actual forms available? I mean, the final return forms aren’t even published yet!

    1. Tonio

      They aren’t? When are they supposed to be published?

    1. Tundra

      13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment.

      What the fuck does this even mean?

    2. Mad Scientist

      Any guy dating a girl who believes one word of that deserves what he gets.

    3. RBS

      24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship.

      Good thing are not any female libertarians.

      1. Mad Scientist

        So, they’re saying you should only date real men, like Mike Pence?

        1. Lachowsky

          Pence caught a lot shit for his stance on other. women, but it’s made him bulletproof to the #metoo brigade.

          In my own life, I do much the same thing. I haven’t spent any 1 on 1 time socially with another woman since I got married. It’s kinda the right thing to do if you want to have a stable marriage.

          1. Playa Manhattan

            Sometimes, I have to for work. My wife has met them all and understands that they are no threat (for a number of reasons).

          2. Mad Scientist

            “Honey, look, there’s nothing for you to worry about. If I were interested in hot chicks, I wouldn’t be married to you!”

          3. trshmnstr

            This. I’m uncomfortable when I have to do closed door 1 on 1 meetings with women. Not because anything would happen, but because 80% of people are only situationally ethical. I don’t trust them not to make something up if it would benefit their career.

          4. Lachowsky

            I think I have been in one on one work situations with a woman less than a dozen times in the past seven years. I’m not bothered, because it takes a different type of woman to work where I do, and they aren’t what one would call desirable.

      2. Tres Cool

        The safe word is SAMMICH.

      3. hayeksplosives

        Where do I turn myself in? All my inside jokes at work are with men. I work with men.

    4. AlmightyJB

      If you haven’t fantasized about a chick you know during sex with your girlfriend than you are mentally ill.

      1. hayeksplosives

        Where do dreams fit in the paranoid GF/BF land? I have dreams about guys I know and guys I don’t know. I know enough not to discuss them, but I don’t feel in any way guilty for what my subconscious brain feels like serving up for the night’s sensual dream.

        1. Tundra

          *nods and winks*

        2. Mad Scientist

          the night’s sensual dream

          You get one of those every night!?

          1. Tundra

            She’s like that. Cool chick.

          2. hayeksplosives

            Aw. Thanks, Tundra.

            *blushes*

          3. hayeksplosives

            Well, unless I don’t remember anydreams at all, which happens about half the nights.

            Sometimes it’s just the ol’ steamy kisses on the back of the neck, but other times when i wake up with racing pulse and other…symptoms, damn, that’s as good as a memory, in my book.

          4. Mad Scientist

            Wow. I get one or two dreams like that a year. Go go team hayeksplosives!

          5. hayeksplosives

            It’s weird when I’m in the dream/wake twilight state and then wake up and go “Ah, nuts! That didn’t actually happen.” Then, depending on who was involved, might say “Whew, good thing that didn’t really happen.” File away memory anyway.

          6. AlexinCT

            That was actually funny 🙂

    5. Stinky Wizzleteats

      What kind of cuck would put up with being nagged about this bullshit?

    6. Microaggressor

      You know, there’s a word for that sort of paranoia: clingy.

      1. Mad Scientist

        Conversely, a guy who’s that paranoid about his wife/girlfriend having any kind of interaction with other men would be rightly labeled as an insecure control freak.

    7. Suthenboy

      “…brave enough to speak up and add another dimension to the societal conversation about sexual assault.”

      Is that what the kids are calling defining down these days?

      1. Suthenboy

        Ooops. That was supposed to be in response to Count Potato below

  23. Count Potato

    “InTouch to Drop 5,000 Words From Stormy Daniels on Sex With Trump
    According to a magazine source, the transcript contains details of ‘[w]hat he’s like in bed, pillow talk, she talks about what he’s like down there…’”

    https://www.thedailybeast.com/intouch-to-drop-5000-words-from-stormy-daniels-on-sex-with-trump

    1. Tonio

      I love to watch the progs go all neopuritan.

    2. Stinky Wizzleteats

      I hope he sues her so hard for breach of contract that she can’t afford her Valtrex prescription.

  24. Drake

    That Las Vegas shooting investigation doesn’t seem to be going so well.

    1. Suthenboy

      I am just gonna go ahead and say it – Paddock was a nutjob lefty with severe TDS and wanted to punish Trump voters. That’s my call. If I turn out to be wrong, fine, but I wouldn’t bet against it.

    2. Tonio

      Investigation? You mean the construction of a narrative that doesn’t frighten the public and minimizes contradictions with already-released information.

      (Offers roll of tinfoil around…)

      1. Private Chipperbot

        /looks through tube.

        It’s not working!

      2. Lachowsky

        I’ll take some tinfoil, Thanks.

        This whole thing stinks to high heaven. If they aren’t covering up a conspiracy, then they are doing their absolute best to make sure everyone thinks they are.

        1. Tonio

          ^This

        2. Yusef drives a Kia

          “The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce”
          /South Park

  25. Count Potato

    An exchanged that should be limited to a girls’ High School bathroom:

    http://www.businessinsider.com/aziz-ansari-writer-email-to-hln-ashleigh-banfield-2018-1

  26. Suthenboy

    “Sweden is preparing to reissue a pamphlet first sent out during World War II — on how to respond if war breaks out”

    Pay no attention to the swarms of savages we imported or the horrors they are inflicting on you because of us, there is a boogey man over there!

    About half of the people in power in Sweden should be hanged.

  27. Raven Nation

    UEFA releases attendance figures for 2016-17 season: http://www.bbc.com/sport/football/42704713

    #3 will shock you?

    1. English Premier League
    2. Bundesliga
    3. English Championship

    English League One came in 9th which put it ahead of

    1. Tres Cool

      Shock? Like with the lobster-shocker?

      1. But it has to be a Swiss-made Lobster Shocker.

        1. Mad Scientist

          Shock Lobster!

          1. PBRstreetgang

            **two octave higher Fred Schneider voice** Shock Lob-stah!!

        2. Tres Cool

          Doubles as a fondue sticker?

          1. And shears, and a teakettle, oh and of course a knife.

            Not a watch, though.

          2. Tres Cool

            Ladies and gentlemen, I give you….the Swiss Army Lobster-Shocker!

    2. The EPL has 20 teams, the Bundesliga only 18. And doesn’t the Championship have 24?

      And if the third tier of English football is League One, shouldn’t the two above it be League Zero and League Negative One?

      1. Raven Nation

        Yeah, that’s a fair point. But if the Championship is outdrawing La Liga (Barcelona, Real Madrid, et al) & Serie A (Juventus, Inter, AC), then I still think the numbers say (a) support for English teams runs deep and (b) a lot of clubs in Spain & Italy must draw fairly small crowds.

        1. Rufus the Monocled

          Italy is a mess at the moment. Then there’s the strange case of AC Milan ownership under a mysterious owner.

          But Tomassi may get elected to the FIGC. It would signal a change in the right direction. If he does, it’s a win for Baggio and others who have been clamouring for an overhaul since THE 1990s.

          But they’re slowly getting their act together. New TV deals are in the works, new stadiums, and the aforementioned FIGC revolution.

          We’ll see.

    3. And it looks like the 2. Bundesliga has a higher per-game attendance than the Championship, too.

    4. Wow, the Championship has higher attendance than La Liga or Serie A? That’s impressive.

      1. Rufus the Monocled

        My friend told me, ‘you can’t bring the family to a Serie A game.’

        That crucifies attendance.

        1. Raven Nation

          Safety? Too expensive? #metoo?

          1. All of the above. They’re Itais after all.

          2. AlexinCT

            It gets ugly.. Take the advice.

    5. RAHeinlein

      Since we are on the topic – where is everyone watching World Cup?

      1. juris imprudent

        My couch most likely.

  28. commodious spittoon

    Fucking needless, pointless social anxiety. It feels like my uvula is three times bigger, like a swollen, dangling testicle blocking up my larynx and I croak trying to talk past it.

    1. Caput Lupinum

      swollen, dangling testicle blocking up my larynx

      Lay off the Sugar Free reading, you’ll feel better.

      1. Tres Cool

        Add swarms of wasps with venom-filled nipples, and you’re into Agile_Cyborg territory

        1. trshmnstr

          Needz moar space penii

    2. Heroic Mulatto

      This is basically just the beginning of a gay version of Deep Throat.

  29. Raven Nation

    Concerns in small countries…I have the New Zealand Herald app on my ‘phone. The NZH is the number one national newspaper in the country so I get regular news updates about traffic in Auckland. Here’s the latest alert sent, I need to reiterate, by a national newspaper:

    “Police investigating after a four-month-old kitten suffered burns to its face and body.”

    1. Suthenboy

      My wife just complained that our dogs are bored. They live inside the house and eat 2x per day. They sleep on beds. They get hot baths. They get two rounds of treats every night before bed.
      I suggested that they go sit on the dog bed by the fire and contemplate the life of the neighbors dog who has been living outside in the snow for two days.

      1. Tulip

        “They get hot baths.”

        They’re dogs. Are you sure that is a positive?

        I have never given my dog a bath. She’s a greyhound, so short coat and no undercoat. People at the dog park frequently comment “she’s so soft! What do you use on her?” Nothing.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          Hmm, Other than a Flea bath She didn’t need, Bella has never been bathed and she’s really soft coated

        2. Mad Scientist

          Greyhounds are as soft as bunny rabbits for some reason.

          It occurs to me that I’ve never heard of a Greyhound complaining about white people touching their hair.

          1. Tulip

            Greyhounds will only complain when you stop. “Pet MOAR!”

        3. Tundra

          i would only bathe my GSD once or twice a year, unless she rolled in something nasty. Our PON, on the other hand, needs frequent brushing and bathing. The log hair acts like a swiffer through the Great Outdoors.

        4. juris imprudent

          We have 2 GSPs, one with a thick undercoat and one without – same breed mind you. Both were rightly and truly shocked by the 1st winter in PA having previously lived in San Diego. The one with the undercoat needs to be brushed weekly even during winter – and the spring/summer blow, daily.

      2. Yusef drives a Kia

        Suthen, you described Bella’s Life to a T

  30. B.P.

    So I heard Chuck Schumer on the radio this morning explaining that Trump has to greenlight the DACA legislation in order to make the first step on the long road back to proving he’s not a racist bigot. It’s nice to know there’s a senator out there granting absolution from the sin of racism. All you have to do is accept someone else’s political agenda and you’re good to go until the powers that be change the virtue rules again.

    1. You poor bastard – forced to listen to the sound of his voice.

    2. Tonio

      Indulgences?

    3. Mad Scientist

      One of the things I actually like about Trump is that he doesn’t give a fuck about Chuck Schumer.

      1. The Other Kevin

        He does not. And if he doesn’t like someone, he’ll make up an insulting nickname for them. Has he done that with Schumer yet?

        1. Lactating Chuck.

    4. Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s not absolution, it’s the first step. If Trump caved today they’d be calling him Hitler tomorrow (and Trump is well aware of this).

    5. Tres Cool

      Could you hear his moobs flopping against the microphone?

    6. Suthenboy

      That nails it B.P.
      That explains so much about the progs. I hope Trump tells Moobs to fuck off, that shit isnt going to work this time.

  31. kinnath

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-01-17/apple-expects-38-billion-tax-bill-on-overseas-repatriated-cash

    Apple Inc. said it will bring hundreds of billions of overseas dollars back to the U.S., pay about $38 billion in taxes on the money and spend tens of billions on domestic jobs, manufacturing and data centers in the coming years.

    So cutting corporate tax rates is going to reduce our tax receipts right?

    1. RAHeinlein

      I also saw they are adding 20,000 jobs and an additional HQ – not betting on Des Moines…

    2. Gustave Lytton

      Well sure, because unrealized potential tax revenue is real revenue.

    3. Suthenboy

      Crumbs.

      This shit is bound to be eating the progs up from the inside out.

      1. AlexinCT

        I have asked several of these progs I know why a woke company like Apple didn’t do that when Black Jesus was in charge and telling us he was going to fix everything and make the world better, and all I usually get are wishes for an untimely and horrid demise to happen to me.

    4. The Trump Effect.

    5. But Tim Cook is gay!

  32. J. Frank Parnell

    So the next Democrat primary is certainly shaping up to be a bit awkward…

    Kamala Harris – who exploded onto the scene by being interrupted by a man
    vs.
    Cory Booker – whose current claim to national fame is yelling at a woman

    1. Rufus the Monocled

      They should make a sex tape.

      1. PBRstreetgang

        No, they really should not.

        1. Heroic Mulatto

          Ease up on the kinkshaming, jerk.

      2. J. Frank Parnell

        “I’ll be showing her my O Face

    2. Tres Cool

      Re-written as “yelling man interrupts woman” and you have Kanye.

      1. +Immaletyoufinish

      2. At least Kanye is funny.

    3. Sean

      Neither one is a strong contender outside of their own states.

      1. States which would vote for an egg salad sandwich with a (D) after its name.

    4. KSuellington

      Harris is getting the VP nod for 2020. I would bet money on it. I don’t think Dems are quite so stupid as to take the chance with putting her at the top of the ticket.

    5. Hyperion

      He’s also apparently recently famous for eating at some vegan bar with strippers who also have no meat on them.

    6. Hyperion

      Let’s be honest. The next D VP candidate will be whoever Hillary decides it will be, or else.

      1. Sean

        Let’s be honest. The next D VP candidate will be whoever Hillary decides it will be, or else.

        HUMA!

        lol

        1. Now we’re talkin. A Huma, Booker, Harris threeway tape with Fauxcahontas sitting in the corner rubbing her clit with a peacepipe.

          1. Stinky Wizzleteats

            You are s.i.c.k. sick.

          2. Hyperion

            I’m so not clicking on that link.

    7. Gilmore

      I can’t remember who it was – perhaps Warren… who established this precedent that “You need to have an irrational yelling-fit in congress” to be considered a “Serious Contender” for the presidency. Because *emotional, indignant outbursts* are like totally what gets people motivated.

      and i suppose that’s true – or that they’ve done enough testing / surveying to realize that people pay attention to that shit, no matter how dumb. its not the content of the ‘yelling’ – its the emotional content itself. people don’t care what it means, they just squee when they are exposed to *emotional passion*. THEY PERSISTED AND SHIT.

      i personally feel that its not as effective as they imagine, and tends to have the risk of working against them if its in the wrong context or forum. Getting all ‘shouty’ is what killed Howard Dean. Fake outrage can be a little too obvious. Booker looked like he was playing a character rather than being himself. but who knows, maybe people will eat it up.

      1. mexican sharpshooter

        I for one, am waiting for one of the people being yelled at to flip the table, and start yelling back.

        1. J. Frank Parnell

          Meh, it’ll just lead to a billion “Watch this Trump appointee have an epic meltdown!” posts on social media followed by a somber WaPo editorial explaining why this proves Trump should be impeached.

      2. J. Frank Parnell

        This sort of thing plays well within the proggie bubble on social media, but I doubt it gets even a tenth of the attention (and even less praise) among the normies that the progs think it does.

        Compare Warren saying “you didn’t build that” (which made proggies squeal with delight, and which barely anyone else even noticed) vs. Obama saying “you didn’t build that” (which caused kind of a shitstorm with the general population).

  33. R C Dean

    I thought the Girther link might be worth a look. I click, and the very first sentence was:

    From the racist notion that President Obama wasn’t born in America

    And I was out.

    1. Hyperion

      I didn’t click, but my first thought was that, you know, I was thinking that fat shaming is a huge no-no. So is it, or is it not?

    2. As if racist people don’t believe that there are any black people born in the US. Shit, I think their problem is that there are black people born in the US.

      1. Hyperion

        No need to worry, they’re going to whiten up in a few thousand years just like we all did. I mean except for maybe the ones in Florida and the desert Southwest.

  34. Hyperion

    The news is just too big a downer for me right at this moment.

    I just popped this open. Incredibly smooth for something that’s 50% ABV. No regrets for buying this.

    Colonel E.H. Taylor

    That guy must have been a real shitlord, I’m a drink to it.

    1. Sean

      I really like the CEHT small batch. I can’t always find it in stock though.

    2. RBS

      Class

      1. Tres Cool

        Ima show you class…..I have a 40 oz Coor’s Light. And despite being winter, its in a paper sack.

        1. Lachowsky

          I have found that Coors tallboy is just about the perfect companion for my commute home.

        2. Hyperion

          The paper sack is what really does it for me. I mean anyone can be downing a 40, but the paper sack, that’s the real touch.

        3. Yusef drives a Kia

          Cobra 25oz x4 with an Imperial for Dinner

        4. Yusef drives a Kia

          Where you at? Les get drunk Homie

          1. Hyperion

            I’m bringing a Colt 45, the big one! I mean the 80 oz! What, they don’t make that? I’m inventing it! You pussies! We goin drank some malt liquor!

          2. Hyperion

            Ok, Q is in. I’m gonna watch you snappers puke!

  35. R C Dean

    OK, the waiting hundreds. Dozens?

    Are we counting socks, or actual meat-based people?

    1. Lachowsky

      I think there are 3 real people on this board. Everyone else is just tula socks.

      1. That sounds like something Tulpa would say.

      2. Come on, Eileen!

  36. Just Say’n

    https://twitter.com/CaseyMattox_/status/953733470655827968

    Good points about religious liberty and how what the Trump administration did is not that controversial

    1. Grumbletarian

      You don’t understand. Back then Democrats had to pretend to be on the side of religious fundie bigots. But now that we’re so much more enlightened and the bible clingers so powerless, Democrats can say what they truly felt all along. It’s just like how Hillary and Obama were only fooling back when they claimed to oppose gay marriage.

  37. robc

    ACC schedules released today.

    1. GT plays Bowling Green for the first time ever. Are we B1G now?
    2. GT @ Louisville is on a Friday night. Ugh.

    1. RBS

      I hate Thursday/Friday night games. Thankfully, Clemson plays neither this year.

      1. Lachowsky

        My team has always played on the Friday after thanksgiving. I don’t mind it. There have been some great games over the years on that date.

        1. robc

          Friday after Thanksgiving is different because it is mostly a Holiday.

          1. Lachowsky

            That’s probably why I like it. I could always watch woth family and for years we were playing LSU that day. We won alot those games and even if it was a crap a crap season, a win against LSU would make it all better.

      2. Midweek MACtion is the best!

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Well. I just went and ran a couple of errands. The road to my house is a ribbon of ice. You probably couldn’t make it any more slicker if you ran a Zamboni over it. It is ostensibly 40 degrees, and the wind is blowing so hard it was trying to turn the tuck sideways. This is why they make studded tires. I don’t have them, though. Fun fun fun. What’d I miss?

    1. Suthenboy

      I dont know. I am trying to cook and keep up here. It aint workin’.
      Maybe I will just start drinking again.

      1. Caput Lupinum

        Maybe I will just start drinking again.

        There’s your problem, shouldn’t have stopped in the first place.

        1. Hyperion

          No, he’s got it right, he should quit every day until around 5pm. Wait, I think Suthen is retired… I have to rethink this… he should quit every day until around 2pm.

    2. Lachowsky

      Glad you made it back safe. It’s been below 20 degrees for 2 days at my place and nary a flake has fallen from the sky. I’m getting the bitter cold without ice or snow to go play in. Kinda sucks.

      1. Tundra

        26 and sunny here. I’ve been driving around with the truck window open. Feels like a goddamn heat wave.

        1. Yusef drives a Kia

          I do not miss that Part of Colorado, I acclimated to wearing T shirts in 30 degree weather, that’s nuts IMO

          1. The first time I went to Fairbanks, I was driving through the University grounds and saw a kid walking around in a t-shirt, tanktop and flip-flops. The thermometer in my rental car read -2. I commented on this to bartender later that night and he remarked “Well it was -45 here last week so -2 feels pretty good.”

          2. t-shirt, shorts*

          3. Yusef drives a Kia

            That was my 6 year old(at the time) Son, Shorts, no shirt, no Shoes on Icy sidewalks, Crazy kids

          4. mexican sharpshooter

            That’s a weird feeling. I was in northern AZ this weekend and it was about 40 degrees and I was walking around in a t-shirt. The sun beating down on you at high elevation for some reason makes you feel warm.

          5. Mad Scientist

            When I lived in Arizona my teeth would start chattering at any temperature below 70.

          6. I start sweating at 70.

          7. DEG

            I was in San Antonio in December one year. I was at the Riverwalk at night when it was about 55 F or so. I was comfortable in pants and a t-shirt. Most everyone else out was wearing a heavy jacket.

          8. Yusef drives a Kia

            once the Wind comes up, your fucked, at least for me…
            /skinny Dude

  39. Tundra

    Hi Holiness linked this earlier, but it’s worth a re-link.

    Thomas Morstead, Saints punter, displays some excellent sportsmanship and is recognized by a bunch of Vikings fans donating money to his foundation. Turns around and says the money raised from Minne fans will go to Children’s Hospital here. If it hits 100K, he’ll fly up to deliver it. It was at more than $77K last I checked.

    Cool story and no government involvement. Tell me again why people need to be shaken down to help others, proggies…

    1. That’s different because shut up.

  40. Tres Cool

    I think its time for our neighbOURs to the north to have an honest discussion about common-sense belt control.
    TW- Yahoo

    https://www.yahoo.com/finance/news/21-old-canadian-woman-found-184200509.html

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Was Senegal one of the shitholes to which Trump was referring? An interesting article.

    2. Suthenboy

      No kidding.

      That should be required reading for everyone. Take out Senegal and put in….well practically any non-western country you want.

  41. DOOMco

    long day.

  42. The Elite Elite

    So, at least the interview is done. I suppose it went well enough. I felt like I didn’t quite master my nerves, so I’m not sure if that came out during the phone conversation or not. He said I should hopefully hear back in the next 48 hours. So we’ll see. I’m just going to assume I’m not getting it.

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      And you get to Split from the I.E.? I hope to by Summer, Good Luck Sir!

      1. The Elite Elite

        Yeah, that’s the dream. I’d love to finally get out of this shithole.

    2. gbob

      It’s a decent attitude to take.

      Still, I wish you luck!

    3. mexican sharpshooter

      I’m sure you did fine. You didn’t tell them you hang out around here did you?

      1. Lachowsky

        I have updated my resume to include frequently comments @ glibertarians.com.

        I know that will help me score my next big gig.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          You planning on interviewing for a position with the mafia? They might be the only ones who hate the feds as much as we do.

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          You never know when you are being interviewed by SugarFree.

      2. The Elite Elite

        Oh, that was the first thing I mentioned. I also asked if he was familiar with SugarFree’s blog.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of the Saints’ punter, he got hurt (looked like ribcage) making what might have been a touchdown-saving tackle after a kick. Any word on what or how bad his injury was?

    1. Tundra

      Yeah, he was just on the radio here. Torn rib cartilage. Stud for continuing to play.

    2. Caput Lupinum

      He tore some cartilage in his ribcage. It’ll take 4 – 6 weeks for him to heal up.

    1. Hyperion

      I’ll vote for that, and right now I’m drinking to it.

    2. JaimeRoberto

      But are they detachable?

      1. Hyperion

        Yes, and they can fly through space and time. This is why the patriarchy cannot be defeated.

  44. Mythical Libertarian Woman

    It’s not the most famous Dr. King quote, the one that get dusted off year after year. That honor goes to those three little words that we can all recite by memory, “I have a dream…”

    Counting is hard.

    1. AlmightyJB

      I stopped at A Black, Queer

    2. mexican sharpshooter

      I went further into it than that, unfortunately.

      1. Raven Nation

        “Politicians who otherwise never spend a day pondering racial justice in America have their speechwriters hastily put something together.”

        Umm, if they do pander, I’m pretty sure they know about MLK day far enough in advance that it won’t be hasty.

    3. Pan Zagloba

      I have to mentally stiffen the sinews and summon up the blood when I see Derpetologist, HM or SF link.

      I am now glad they strengthened me, for I mostly found it acceptable by the standards of derp we are exposed to daily.

      BTW, definite and indefinite articles are a pox and should be exterminated from all languages!

      1. John Titor

        You have become the Mithridates VI of Derp.

        1. Pan Zagloba

          In retrospect, that’s an excellent analogy.

    4. John Titor

      You missed rick and I coming up with the basis for our soon-to-be-award-winning YA fiction novel for the Era of Drumpf on the Glib Discord.

      I don’t know what you’re complaining about, writing YA fiction is easy.

      1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

        I need to check the Discord more!

        1. Mythical Libertarian Woman

          Just found like 50 mentions from last month, crap. Look, I have notifications turned off for Discord in case any authors or lesbians look at my phone. I’m like a spy, okay? *enters discreet code for “check Discord” into daily planner*

      2. Pan Zagloba

        Based on the subject, if you can get that shit into production pipeline in the next six months or so, you might be able to capitalize on the moment.

        Seriously, if there are idiots who’ll pay for this, take their money. Go full Cebulski, pretend to be a female…oh, what’s exotically Muslim…let’s say Azerbaijani woman in her mid-30s. Hire a stand-in if you have to.

        By the time fraud is discovered, the money is in the bank!

        1. John Titor

          Our working premise is about a teenage girl living in a horrific Trumpenreich dystopia at some unspecific date in the far future. Said girl is amazingly skilled at everything she does somehow, always impressing people who have decades of experience in the same fields or actions. She lives in a Pleasantville-esque suburbia of upper class white people, whereas what few racial minorities are allowed to stay are in a caste system where they have to clean sewers with their bare hands and the like. One day she discovers that her next door neighbours are actually secretly Mexicans trying to help sneak people across the border with the New Underground Railroad into Mexico, which has become an agrarian syndicalist utopia. When they’re captured its up to her to travel across dystopian America with information vital to the Resistance and eventually cross the massive structure and no man’s land known only as ‘The Wall’.

          We’ve already tossed around the idea of hiring a black woman to pretend to be the writer. Working title is ‘The Wall’ and the cover is a young teenage girl standing defiantly looking up at it.

          1. Pan Zagloba

            Damn, the only thing that concerns me is that you might attacked for having White Savior like that poor woke author who found herself unwoke (TW: Slate).

            Otherwise, 10/10.

          2. Mythical Libertarian Woman

            Definitely would. Have the protagonist be a sassy black girl who lives in that horrible caste system and is #resisting. She’s actually the one running the Mexicans. Make sure your author persona is a black woman (bonus points if you’re queer) so you can hashtag it #OwnVoices

          3. AlmightyJB

            Lol

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Torn rib cartilage.

    Pretty much what I suspected.

    1. AlmightyJB

      Ouch

    1. Hyperion

      Looks like Timmah is ready to kiss Trump’s ass, lol.

    2. DRUMPF GUNNA ENSLAYV U@!@!@!@@@!@!!!

    3. Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s amazing what a more favorable corporate tax structure can accomplish.

      1. Hyperion

        I don’t see how anyone cannot grasp the immense consequences of reducing corporate tax rate from 35 to 21%. How dumb does someone have to be to not see that?

        1. AlexinCT

          I think that the proggies grasp it just fine, but all they care about is that they have less loot to steal and because of that, less moolah to buy votes with.

  46. mikey

    DOOMCo – – “Long day”
    Here, have some more Rocky Mountain porn.
    https://imgur.com/a/7uIgF

    1. Yusef drives a Kia

      Beautiful! where exactly?

      1. mikey

        Belt Mountains in central Montana.

        1. AlmightyJB

          I really need to get to the Rocky’s.

    2. DOOMco

      Damn. beautiful.

    1. Hyperion

      LOL, that’s great.

  47. Ed Wuncler

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/mr-president-stop-attacking-the-press/2018/01/16/9438c0ac-faf0-11e7-a46b-a3614530bd87_story.html?utm_term=.5d2d159191ed

    Trump’s attempts to undermine the free press also make it more difficult to hold repressive governments accountable. For decades, dissidents and human rights advocates have relied on independent investigations into government corruption to further their fight for freedom. But constant cries of “fake news” undercut this type of reporting and strip activists of one of their most powerful tools of dissent.

    I don’t have many regrets in my life but one of them is voting for that statist piece of shit in 2008. I even put one of his campaign stickers on my laptop which in hindsight was dumb as hell and got me a lot of derision from acquaintances and strangers. He’s everything that is wrong about politics and should have been voted out years ago.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      Yep, fake news is a myth (CNN’s Sanjay Gupta implies Trump actually has heart disease):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXpvFjxDmSI

      1. Stinky Wizzleteats

        And I condemn myself…

      2. Hyperion

        This pretty much sounds exactly like election night 2016 on CNN when Hillary was looking desperate. ‘Well, let’s look over here, polls still not closed, could be some votes there, or maybe over here, there could be some votes here…’

    2. Suthenboy

      If you dont like being called an asshole, stop being an asshole. If you dont like being called a liar, stop lying. If you are John McCain, dont bother. Just go shoot yourself.

      1. Hyperion

        McCain is sadly, one of those people who cannot help being a hateful asshole even to the end of his life. I mean I want to feel bad for the guy, but he makes it so hard.

    1. mexican sharpshooter

      What does Dr. Oz think?

      1. He thinks you need to try this new molasses and cayenne pepper colon cleanse followed by a horse semen facial peel. You’ll be glowing!

        1. Mad Scientist

          At least the horse will!

        2. mexican sharpshooter

          And where can I buy this and does it have to be a suppository? Asking for a friend.

          1. AlmightyJB

            From Gwyneth Paltrow

    2. Ed Wuncler

      Isn’t it bad practice to diagnose someone without meeting or personally examining them?

      1. Mortals who do this could wind up being censured or even losing a license. But BECUZ DRUMPF they’re given a pass.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          They’d have their licenses/credentials pulled if they were doing this to literally anyone else.

      2. mexican sharpshooter

        Now that I read the article, assuming the numbers he has on hand are true technically he could have an opinion on them, and now we know what it is. To diagnose him from that not knowing anything else? Yes, that’s bad.

      3. AlmightyJB

        Shows complete lack of professionalism and class.

    3. Hyperion

      “Sanjay Gupta”

      Who the fuck is that? Does anyone care?

  48. JaimeRoberto

    That link about how the doctors in the UK missed the lady’s blood cancer reminds me of how the doctors missed my mother-in-law’s multiple myeloma in another country with socialized medicine. Her doctor noted that she had a low count of red blood cells, but it wasn’t a problem, because she had plenty of white blood cells. Doctors can make mistakes anywhere, but this was so bad it’s infuriating.

    1. Contrarian P

      Ok, I’m hoping that wasn’t an actual doctor, but an idiot who wandered into the office and put on a lab coat. White blood cells and red blood cells perform completely different functions. That would be like saying “well, your house has no roof on it, but it’s okay because you’ve got two floors”.

      1. JaimeRoberto

        Nope. Actual doctor. Medical malpractice lawsuits do serve a purpose.

  49. Ayn Random Variation

    You ever forget you’re in public and not on a message board?
    Well the other day I’m playing in a pool tournament and they had to call over a well known pro to ensure I was making a clean hit. This guy is from Norway or Finland or one of those kinds of places. And I blurt out at least he’s not from one of those shithole countries. A couple of people laughed but a mostly uncomfortable silence followed in the prog melting pot that is a manhattan pool hall.
    Luckily the guy made a joke back and everybody relaxed.
    My filter is definitely a lot looser the older I get.

    1. Mad Scientist

      One of the best things about getting older is losing any sense of importance about what other people think.

      1. Suthenboy

        This x 1000.

        I couldn’t give less of a fuck what other people think if I tried.

        It is what it is. Don’t like that? It’s still what it is.

        1. Hyperion

          At this point, I’m not aware of what giving a fuck about what other people think even feels like. It’s been that long.

          1. Ayn Random Variation

            This has been my destination for awhile. I think I reached it when I got to the point that no matter how short I had my hair cut you could see the gray.
            DGAF.

        2. JaimeRoberto

          My teenage daughter frequently admonishes me for saying something mean, but when I ask, “Yeah, but am I wrong?” she sheepishly says no.

  50. mexican sharpshooter

    Was a line crossed? Can he play the George Costanza, “did I do something wrong?” card? You decide.
    CrossFit Members Quit After Owner Posts Controversial Videos of Female Clients’ Butts

    One member saw the images last Friday and shared them on the gym’s Facebook page in outrage, writing, “This is not okay.” The post and the gym’s Facebook page quickly filled with angry comments and reviews, which prompted Tomlo to respond with an expletive-filled post demonishing people for calling him out publicly.

    “It has been brought to my attention that some people chose to get butt hurt today and make a public post in this group,” he wrote. “You must have lost your f—— mind if your one moment you think this is a platform or community for you to create some bulls— like that.”

    1. Tundra

      Don’t bother clicking.

      No pics. 🙁

      1. DEG

        I found the gym’s instagram page. I think the guy took the pictures down.

    2. Suthenboy

      Mex, why would you post that if there are no pics?

    3. AlmightyJB

      Whats the problem? Were they fat?

    4. KSuellington

      I’m a bit butt hurt as well at the lack of pics there.

    5. Tres Cool

      I was about to care, then UD started losing.
      Ima need another 40 oz.

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        you ALWAYS need another 40, i know I do….

        1. Tres Cool

          this would be the girlfriend’s Teufelhund.

          https://postimg.org/image/tytcwj6ov/

          1. Bob

            Slime Dog! the Best Kind, they make me laugh! Belly is certainly a slimer

          2. Tres Cool

            Stank-assed boxer-dog. Thanks to his ‘affinity’ for lifting his leg on her condensing unit, I think if you were in SW Ohio you could have a job in a couple months. About 1/3 of the aluminum is gone.

    6. commodious spittoon

      demonishing

      Um, okay.

    7. Mustang

      Yeah, I’d need to hear the other side of the story but from this article he did cross a line. Not sure what he was thinking there.

  51. Yusef drives a Kia

    Glib shwag! Thanks SP and the Overlords, https://photos.app.goo.gl/OFcrt7NzFZ8xi80n2
    I’m afraid if I put it on one of the Kias, it might get snatched, 🙂

    1. Hyperion

      What the fuck is that thing below the left corner of your monitor? Is that shwag?

      1. Yusef drives a Kia

        I don’t see what you mean, and the Magnetic Bumper sticker was put there for the picture, I see a camera and some playing cards, my Weed is slightly out of the picture
        /Family Friendly

        1. Mad Scientist

          The sticker looks like it’s something on your screen, not something on your screen.

          1. Bob

            it’s in front of the current Glib screen

        2. Hyperion

          The front facing part of it is red.

          1. Tres Cool

            ..matches his eyes

          2. Bob

            It’s a Condition, they are always Red

          3. Hyperion

            Oh, it’s about the condition of what condition he’s in? It still looks like plastic to me. *pours another shot*

          4. Bob

            Hyp, it’s a cap for My wife’s power scooter thingy, I’m epoxying it back together

          5. Hyperion

            Mmm, are you sure its not a red plastic tray with an army green alien octopod enslaved in it by metallic torture devices? We’re going to have to start assessing orphan forfeit penalties here. Don’t make us come over there!

          6. Hyperion

            STOP CHANGING YOUR NAME! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO ANYONE IS!?

            /Ken rant

          7. Bob

            Here, a Camera and some playing cards, there’s your Bloody Proof!
            https://photos.app.goo.gl/v5XswlTrYN2YsKGD2

          8. Hyperion

            What the fuck is that thing? It looks like a red plastic tray with an army green alien octopod enslaved in it by metallic torture devices. I think it’s totally up to Yusef to prove to us that’s not what it is.

    2. straffinrun

      If you can read this,
      You’re too Glib

      1. Tres Cool

        “Does this Glib make my ass look big?”

        1. Hyperion

          Glibs don’t got nothin gainst big asses. At least not HM and Hyperion.

          1. Bob

            Hey, Yusef agrees!

      2. straffinrun

        You’re Glib, too.

        1. Tres Cool

          Frankie
          SAYS
          Glib

          too 80’s?

          1. Bob

            STEVE SMITH PROM DANCE SONG!

          2. Bob

            I’m the Glib you hated, Beer intoxicated…….
            the Prodigy……

          3. Tres Cool

            That made me think of this:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhAdcJ8aLsY

          4. Bob

            I’m currently undercover
            /Yusef

    1. Raven Nation

      *thunderous ovation*

      1. Bob

        Thanks, those Planes are Fucking Ferraris

        1. Tres Cool

          “this dude….he invented a car that runs on water, man”
          “so its a boat?”
          “no…he like, made a carburetor, and the oil companies had him killed”
          “over his boat?”
          “No, man. It was….a car. And it like, ran on…..water!”
          “So it was a boat.”

          -That 70s Show

          1. Bob

            i Built an R/C boat from scratch once, thrust vectoring props and shit, it would take off into the air on full throttle, it didn’t live very long…

  52. Bob

    And Besides, what is wrong with a guy who has no arms or legs, and floats on water?
    Bob
    /or Yusef

    1. Mad Scientist

      Or hair, apparently!

      1. Bob

        I have too much Hair, i keep it short, like a NAZI !!!!!!

      2. Tres Cool

        +1 heir apparent

    2. Tres Cool

      On the door-step, he’s Matt

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0ffCICQ-bU

      1. Mad Scientist

        Hanging on the wall: Art

        1. Bob

          Art is my middle Name, seriously

          1. Mad Scientist

            Buried in a pile of leaves: Russel.

            Now, if one of your names is Russel, you need to have a conversation with your parents.

    1. Stinky Wizzleteats

      What would be the point in adulterating blow with fentanyl? Maybe these overdoses were also heroin users who were speedballing and got a bad batch or something.

      1. Tres Cool

        A lot of people fail to make the distinction between legitimate OD, and a deliberate suicide. Addiction is a pretty dark place.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Sure, it’d be a painless and nonmessy way to check out and would be particularly attractive to someone who’s already an addict.

    2. Tres Cool

      As best I can recall, the FedGOV had no problem deliberately poisoning/killing 10s of thousands of it own citizens by de-naturing industrial alcohol during prohibition. Why would throwing some fentanyl in the coke supply-stream not still be in their playbook?

      1. AlmightyJB

        That was actually my first thought.

        1. Stinky Wizzleteats

          Mine too, I’m just not quite that cynical yet but I’m working on it.

          1. Tres Cool

            And suddenly, carfentanil, which was only used by zoos and veterinarians to tranquilize elephants and shit, is showing up in the opiate stream in Covington, Ky? Yet we’re assured that it’s only legitimately produced someplace in Dog-Dong, China? (Unless you’re SPETZNAS gassing out a theater from those pesky Chechens).

        2. Tres Cool

          But again, the same logic applies. If the WOD is 100% successful, where are all those people gonna go? “Enhanced Vigilance” to keep the filth off the streets? If the drug problem is solved and the US is completely abstinent, whats the role of the DEA, and their ilk?
          If I happen to be in the narcotics business, supply is good- I dont want to kill my clientele. I like to think its just shoddy QC on the street level.

          I live in Ohio, and the last back-of-envelope, 8th-grade, math I could cobble together showed me that the State brings in around $100M or so, just in tax for alcohol, throw in $800M and some change for tobacco. Calling it just shy of $1BN, if you went to Columbus, and announced that you had a pill that would cure the desire to use alcohol and/or tobacco, you’d be lauded publicly as a “champion of health”, and likely be dead before you got out of the building. Gov’t isnt going to just accept a $1BN deficit in revenue.

  53. trshmnstr

    *sigh*

    I’ve been chasing a stupid bug in monocle eyepiece where the unread comments count wouldn’t update when I refreshed the comments. Turns out I put the updating code after a parenthesis instead of before…. stupid me.

    1. Tres Cool

      Cute story- I once jumped through all kinds of stupid hoops setting up a PC, cause I use the mouse LEFT handed. Every OS install defaulted to RIGHT.
      I spent a week hitting the wrong button, and wasting hours with faceless tech-support people.

    2. Comment out your parentheses.

      (I did that with my braces on the rare occasions I had to program in Perl.)

      1. Tres Cool

        I remember my braces. Adolescence can be tough.

  54. Bob

    I’m gonna go write a Nocturne, I’ll be BACK!

    1. Tres Cool

      $5 says its a Nocturne Emission, amirite?