Is it Tuesday? Monday? Wednesday. I know it ain’t Friday. You know what else I know now — I won’t kick my wife out of bed for eating crackers. No, literally. She was sick last night and ate crackers in bed. And I decided I loved her more than I hate crumbs in bed. So there’s today’s love story.

SO I’m going to go with 80% chance Trump did say “shithole countries“. But given that Dick Durbin is the apparent source, and he’s a lying fuck, I can’t be certain.

In my ongoing needling of Californian Glibs, I offer this further proof of 3rd worldism.

Zoolander 3 is pretty fucking dark. Err. Wow, that might seem racist. I mean bleak and ugly.

Seal gets the #metoo treatment. Like Omar said, “when you come for the [queen], you best not miss.”

I am not surprised that Ed Sheeran is not at all original. Yes, yes, it happens to the best of them. Sometimes.

Not Ed Sheeran.