I was going to start this off with a Google[1] Ngram of the usage of “reality-based,” but it only goes to 2008, so it doesn’t confirm my gut feeling that the term has been tossed around an awful lot in the past election cycle. It does show a surge starting in the reign of Bush the Elder, increasing throughout the Clinton years, and peaking with GWB.

I think that we all know that most of the time that “reality-based” is used, it is a synonym for “someone who is my political ally.” But maybe we can try to give it some actual meaning? Is there such a thing as a “reality-based” community? Is there a “reality-based” mindset? I think there is, I think I’ve seen it, I think I can describe it.

In 2011, I moved to Upstate New York to open up a semiconductor fab. Most of the people involved were brought in from all over the world, since the local talent pool was almost nil. We did have some new college graduates from RPI and SUNY Albany and watching their transformation was…entertaining. During one of the earliest operations meetings, an NCG from the module responsible for classifying the finished dies was asked how the product was yielding. He answered, “it sort of yields.” This brought down great vengeance and furious anger from the person running the meeting. “What do you mean it sort of yields? Can you play video games on it or not?” (The product at the time was the CPU/GPU combo for the Xbone.) This leads me to an observation:

If you can talk your way out of it, it is not reality-based.

Reality doesn’t care about your opinion. It can’t be bargained with, it can’t be reasoned with. It does not feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead. Having said all of that, while reality will always win in the end, it’s not actually the most important thing out there. An awful lot of really great things are all about opinions, attitudes, and various human happy delusions (like natural rights *ducks*) so do not consider this some sort of attempt at setting up a hierarchy with “Reality” at the top and “Opinion” at the bottom. That’s not what I am trying to do. Though in the Glib Spirit® of encouraging conflict and snark, I will refer to the realm of opinion as “Bullshit.”

Although the unfortunate young’un at the ops meeting was presented with a binary choice, categorizing communities/mindset results in three:

1) The Bullshit community. This is a very easy community to live within, and might be the most populous community in the industrialized world. If the success/failure of your endeavor depends totally (or nearly so) on the opinion of other people, you are a bullshitter. This includes such fields as:

Entertainment

Politics

Law

Bureaucracy

Services

You can live quite a comfortable lifestyle while remaining completely within the bullshit bubble. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Even non-Bullshitters benefit from or require the application of bullshit from time to time. Sales and marketing, interface design – these are all matters of popularity and opinion. They are the bullshit that enriches the fertile fields of consumer choice!

2) The reality-adjacent community. These are people who have at least a nodding acquaintance with reality but whose work often deviates from it, or relates to it in such a way as to prevent reality from interfering too much with the results. Mathematics is a reality-adjacent field. It can model reality amazingly well when it isn’t being used to determine how many ways you can pack nine-dimensional spheres. Pure sciences can also fit into this category. If the work purports to describe reality but cannot be tested (M-theory) or relies on simulation to confirm it (climate science) then it is reality-adjacent. Likewise archaeology, history and pretty much all of the social sciences are reality-adjacent, excluding those disciplines that are bullshit. Actually, it’s the reality-adjacent people that scare me. The ability (or habit) of accepting premises as a given (spherical cows with a radius of 1 meter anyone) and then accepting that the logical conclusion is correct because the logic is correct, makes them prime candidates for all sorts of appeals to “the greater good.” I mean, there’s not too much wrong with the logic of Marx or Malthus; it’s their premises that are faulty.

3) The reality-based community. If your work can be definitely said to be successful or unsuccessful, regardless of the opinion of the observer [2], then you are working in a reality-based field. This includes, but is not limited to:

Trades

Sports

Manufacturing

Veterinary and some fields of human medicine

You can play video games using the chip, or you can’t. The fitting leaks, or it doesn’t. The engine starts, or the javelin travels 110 meters [3], or the crops grow. You may attempt to explain away the result, but you’d be being literally absurd. There is an enforced honesty in the reality-based world. A hellish, panopticon-like traceability of one’s work actions. The clash that comes about when a bullshitter tries to bullshit in the reality-based world can be hilarious. One of the labs in our group will do checks on the various process chems to verify material integrity and blender performance. Almost all of our process chemicals look identical (49% HF, 31% H2O2, 25% TMAH, 96% H2SO4, etc.) but respond very differently (potentially dangerously) when being prepared for analysis. So when some jackhole drops off samples that are labeled with the wrong chemical label they get very irate. When the lab manager complained, [insert Litigious Industrial Supplier here] demanded to know how we were so certain that they had mislabeled the chemicals. Let me repeat that: they asked the people in the chemical analysis lab who are being paid vast sums of money to analyze chemicals…how we knew what chemical was in the bottle.

For those that would say that reality is itself a matter of opinion (but, like, that’s just your opinion maaaan) [4] I would respond thusly: if there ever comes a point where you, armed with your metaphysics can defeat me, armed with a baseball bat then I will consider that you may have a point. Until then, go STFU and do a bong rip with the maharishis.

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[1] Google is an excellent example of a bullshit company that pretends to be reality-based.

[2] While the outcome of a play is determined by a referee’s ruling, the actual physical result of the play is a real fact. This is why officiating that is divergent from reality is known as a “bullshit call.”[5]

[3] Gorram Frenchies polluting my healthy sporting endeavors!

[4] This Youtube clip deliberately left blank.

[5] This etymology is completely fabricated.

[6] Is there some protocol for nesting footnotes?