Teuful? Damonen? Zerstoren? All of the above? She like to chew, and chew she will. Daddy spends at least $5-10 a week on chew toys and dental treats to keep her occupied, but it’s not enough for a Teuful. Bella will take those treats down like a baby bunny–rope, rawhide, nothing gets in her way, and she loves her milk jugs. She has two speeds: sleep mode and haul ass chasing the kittah through the house mode. At 11 months, she sleeps like a teenager. Ten, twelve, fourteen hours a day! Slime dog.
So, last night after a nice Glib/beer evening, I’m awakened at 1:30 AM by my screaming wife. I wake and wonder WTF? I look down to see my bed scattered with money and credit cards. Vom Teufelhund Zerstort!
Beside my main credit/debit card, she chewed my Microsoft, EPA and AMA cards, as well as Bevmo and other cards. Oddly, she didn’t eat any of the $400+ I had in my wallet. (And btw, we never found the wallet*.) Since I caught her in the act, I beat her, as far as Daddy can swat his baby girl, but she knew and it scared her. (I popped her on the ass and put her out back for 30 minutes. Tough love…?)
She eats too much people food, mostly meat, but she is a potato chip addict. She’ll do tricks for chips, crazy pup.
Bella is a huge task, but she is real good therapy for Momma and me too, and damn, she purty! She’s the last dog I’ll ever own, and Stumpy and I treat her like gold. Truly a great Hund.
*I’ll be looking as I pick up the poop, interesting what comes out…………..
Comments
69 responses to “Tails of the the Teufelhund, Part 4 – An Apt Name or Where’s My Wallet!?!!”
Music, But not First, that’s for others 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC-9aEf0Q-A
Nice.
“A good dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.”
Except they cancelled my CC number til the new one comes, no online biz gets done,
Arf!
*I’ll be looking as I pick up the poop, interesting what comes out…………..
Funny, I thought of that as soon as I read that you didn’t find your wallet.
She usually leaves a Debris field behind, not his time…
“A house without a dog is not a home.”
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
Arf!
Got a coffee cup that says exactly that, courtesy of the Raven Bookstore in Lawrence, Kansas.
My dogs are notorious chewers. When Carmen was 2 we left her at home alone while we went to go see Maryland lose at football back when they were an ACC team. My sister-in-law volunteered to go check in on her. She sent us pictures of our newish couch, the entire arm of which Carmen had torn off and shredded. When we adopted Jack we tried to crate train him. We put him in his entirely-steel crate while we went to the grocery store. When we got back, he met us at the door with a chipped tooth. He’d grabbed a corner of the crate and pulled, breaking the weld, and bent it until he could fit through.
I always laugh when people recommend some supposedly dog-proof thing to us, because Jack has chewed through the back door of a single-wide in order to find us. And when I say through, I mean he removed a small pet door, found he couldn’t fit through, and then proceeded to peel back the insulation-filled metal door like an old can opener until he could fit. My wife accidentally closed him in a closet behind a solid wood door. I know this because when I came home there was a dog-sized hole and splinters all over the floor. We have a steel dog gate to keep the dogs out of the trash; naturally, it’s bent and some of the vertical rods have been broken off. Carmen is a little more subtle. She’s got about a five foot vertical, so she just hops over them.
We’ve pretty much conceded defeat. We still have the gates up and that sort of thing, but there seems to be a mutual understanding that while we’d prefer our dogs to not spread the trash all over the house or eat the cat litter, if they’re really determined it’s just going to happen. We typically bribe them with pig ears, antlers, and rawhide. The rawhide is usually a last resort, though, because it gives them gas that will take the paint off the walls, and because inevitably Jack wolfs his rawhide down as fast as he possibly can and then gets jealous of Carmen, who will usually save hers in order to piss Jack off.
I’m not alone! She woke up an hour ago, and won’t stop attacking me, play time
Love these stories and would love those dogs. Just glad they are not ours. 😉
The former Uber Hunds:
https://postimg.org/image/v56hljnyz/
https://postimg.org/image/4fqv1n33z/
So pretty!
We’ve got one dog who scarfs her food dog and the other is extremely slow. We have to keep the two separated when they eat/get treats.
They’re both great dogs though; it’s just a shame they’re getting elderly.
Yeah, our dogs are getting up there. Not elderly yet, but grey in the muzzle and not as active as they were. As much as they drive me crazy and as big of a pain in the ass as they can be they’re both sweethearts and I’m not looking forward to losing them.
It took a year for us to get over losing our DubZ Dog, and then came Bella………
I’ve found that I can generally cope with a loss OK, with the exception of dogs. Then Im inconsolable for huge swaths of time.
I will be a wreck when my cat dies. I know that sounds odd but he is the least independent cat ever, he loves me the way a dog typically does. He’s like a cartoon cat, curls up and cuddles at any opportunity with none of the typical cat duplicitousness, just an open book. Good thing he’s only 3 so (G-d willing) it won’t be happening any time soon.
https://imgur.com/a/Wj5fo
Awww…
I get the cat love. My hubby’s cat was a tiny kitten that belonged to a lady on his floor when he had to move to his divorce apartment. She (neighbor) was an irresponsible idiot and would ask him to take care of the kitty from time to time. Eventually he told her that if she asked him one more time, he was keeping the cat. He kept the cat.
Tiny palm sized Rocket turned into an ENORMOUS puddy-tat. He was so tall and strong, it was ridiculous. Such a sweetheart, and he welcomed me into his life when I hooked up with the hubs. Sadly, he had some bad chemistry in his kidney/bladder and despite strict diet and heroic surgical measures, only lasted to 9 years before we had to put him down.
The hubs was devastated. I think the fact he had that little kitten right when his marriage had crumbled and he was away from his sons made them bond all the more dearly.
The emergency vet that put Rocket down made a mold of his pawprint for us to take and bake. So I made a little memorial shadow box that still hangs by our bar. My hubs has often thanked me for it. I recommend you intentionally collect a few mementos of your furry friend to do something similar.
I have never lived anywhere or anytime in my entire life without a cat.
It sucks when they die, but I always see it as an opportunity to then rescue another. Then that opens a space in a shelter.
And theres a saying that goes, “If love could have kept you here you’d have been here forever”
Kitty. 🙂
I’m not a big fan of cats. But, that’s a good looking one.
Keep her inside as much as you can, and Beware Hawks! even in the City, and they Eat Kittah
I’ve spent my entire life in coyote country; he’s an indoor only guy.
Kittah!!
https://photos.app.goo.gl/lC7sABLl5wW8zPFC2
Cute cat.
Nice pussy.
Our two cats are extremely lazy and don’t have the duplicitousness either for the most part.
They just don’t want to go down to the laundry room at night.
Sigh… we’ve lost 3 of our 5 in the past 2 years (diabetes, old age, and cancer) and it is absolutely devastating. What breed is your cuddle-bug? We have a Maine Coon who reminds me of Big Moose from Archie comics; he’s big (25lbs), dumb, and doesn’t know his own strength. He LOVES to snuggle and drape himself across me at any opportunity
Sorry for your losses. They do go too soon, so our job is to make their brief stint with us as enjoyable as possible.
I am sitting next to a 17 year old ragdoll, and have an 8 year old beautiful calico, plus a 4 year old cute and sweet but retarded tortie.
They have their own cute personalities, but what they have in common is being very social, never hiding. They come to the front door when the bell rings instead of heading for the hills like many cats do.
I have about 10 lint rollers planted strategically through the house, but the cats are worth it.
I know, LAT but wow, some common sense for once, and the comments are very anti Cali, fun Times
http://www.latimes.com/opinion/editorials/la-ed-salt-tax-gimmick-20180106-story.html
OT: Nice compilation of the more insane parts of the fringe Left.
https://pjmedia.com/trending/left-wants-talk-mental-health-lets-start/
The gorilla channel stuff is directly from the mind of SF.
I said Gorilla Channel? never heard of that one, hmm..
@Q, these are always Open Thread posts Mon!
Rastaaafari
You know, the funny thing I’ve disliked Donald Trump for years before the 2016 election. And Trump ran, voicing themes that often went against the very reason I’d considered myself a Republican. I should be a prime target to join the anti-Trump side of the argument. If they’d offered up a reasonably sane critique of the guy, I’d probably have been willing to go along with it.
Two things happened.
Donald Trump moderated a lot of the positions he held that I found unpalatable.
Donald Trump’s opponents went unmistakably batshit crazy. They tied their opposition to Trump to the most insane hard leftism they could find. They attacked the president on grounds that any rational person would reject if applied to anyone else, expecting opposition to Donald Trump to serve as a worthwhile substitute to a rational argument (and the argument being whether someone should oppose Donald Trump). They, literally, began to advocate political violence against their opponents.
I find myself defending Donald Trump, not so much out of support for him, but out of refusal to buy into the insanity of the opposition.
Thank you for taking the time to express in writing the exact mental experience I went through.
If he is still vertical in 2020, he has my vote.
That pretty much sums it up. Following the principles not principals as well, I like many of the policy positions he has espoused. Originalist judges, tax cuts, regulatory cuts, all good things. Not a fan of the “law and order drug warrior” stuff, but he has definitely been a helluva lot better on many things than I expected, and certainly light-years better than Killary (or any Dem).
The dropping of the masks of the leftist statists has been the best side effect.
Indeed. While not surprising, it’s very refreshing to see the mask slipping off so cleanly.
wdalasio, I still see you post on Best of the Web Today fb page once in a while. It’s funny that we met up on 2 different forums. Cheers!
The only thing I would add is that they’ve always been batshit crazy. It’s just that the mask has slipped (or, more to the point, been removed entirely, thrown to the ground, stomped on until it’s in little pieces, the pieces burned to ash, and the ashes nuked from orbit).
I considered President Trump the least worst option in 2016 (and threw up in my mouth a little when I pulled the lever), but after this last year, I think he’s actually been tolerable (and he’s goaded the left into showing itself). I don’t know when the last time was that I’ve been pleasantly surprised by a politician.
Fuck the NHL refs.
Player gets tripped, which should be a penalty. But both penalty boxes are opened, leading to the thought they’ll call an embellishment. Oh, no. They’re only calling a penalty on the guy who was tripped on the grounds that as he was falling to the ice, his stick caught the guy who tripped him in the face.
Also, fuck the linesmen. Drop the fucking puck. No one came to watch you, asshole. It’s fucking enraging.
Also enraging is how listless my Oilers are playing.
My did was a tremendous handful when we first got him from the pound. He needed 4-5 miles a day of walks to get the insane energy out of him. He chewed and ate anything left in the crate with him including 2 tennis balls with the nylon rope connecting them, several blankets and towels, a dog bed with the stuffing. He destroyed and got to the fluffy center of a toy made for tigers in 10 minuets. A red and black kong. Now he is good for one heavy duty nylabone every six month. It took 6 years for him to slow down. He is still active but is definitely a mature dog at 8.
Dog not did
Just call him “Diddums” and you’re all set!
I read that as “Dad”. I really need to skip the high-octane libations this early.
OT- I hate baking. However, sometimes the girlfriend (code name: Jugsy) can convince me she’s in dire need of something like cinnamon rolls.
So then it’s on.
https://postimg.org/image/xv5q21me7/
Cinnamon rolls are great.
I read “barking,” and it all went downhill from there.
Man, I’m so happy my dog is not a chewer. Or a pisser. He’s a sleeper, mostly.
Ours is not a chewer, not a pisser, and with the exception of one major incident a few years ago, not a shitter. She makes up for this by being a profound barker and prolific shedder.
What kind?
Come over and meet her.
Old Man with Puppy and Panel Van?
go with what works!
“My puppy ran into the basement, will you come help me find him?”
/rubs grubby Jew-hands together in evil anticipation
The wrecked beaver dam “Jew gold” episode of South Park will forever remain my favorite.
The Mormon one and the Scientology ones are close seconds.
+1 Fake Jew Gold
+1 Joker, Toker, Midnight Smoker
Ours was a chewer as a puppy. Not wallets, shoes, or slippers. Baseboards. And not cheap MDF baseboards. Nice, wooden 1940’s era baseboards. Not kind you can just walk into Home Depot and find a replacement.
Fortunately, she grew out of that.
Baseboards are for cats to destroy.
Thanks for the pup story, Yusef.
My Pleasure!
@ CP, Bella discovered our baseboards, 1929, ouch
Ouf.
fun pet statistics
these made me larf
92% of Aussie cats
and 76% of
Aussie dogs
are kept
indoors.
Romania has the world’s most
balanced pet population, with 45%
of households owning dogs and
45% of households owning cats.
oopsy- forgot link
https://www.petsecure.com.au/pet-care/a-guide-to-worldwide-pet-ownership/