This is my review of Bell’s Brewery Roundhouse India Red Ale.

Yeah, okay so they just hopped up Kilian’s Irish Puke and gave it a cute name? Fine.  To keep your attention, here’s UFC eye candy, Paige Van Zant delivering a roundhouse kick:

Yeah, okay pedants.  She’s right handed, so that was technically a switch kick if you are only going to look at the still photo.  If you want to see the whole thing, this video here has it in real time and slow motion. She actually swung her strong leg forward to gain momentum toward her opponent.  Then turned her hips midair, planted her right foot, and landed a left kick to the face. If anything, this was technically a flying switch kick, but it was definitely a feat of athleticism.  I can cover the gap like this and land a knee, but a kick takes several reps for me to land it.  I would say this was her career highlight, but Dancing with the Stars and every single commercial she is in seems to be more lucrative than her fights, which might explain why she never seems to fight anymore.  So before you decide, keep in mind that on any other day she looks like this:

Speaking of red…

The roundhouse kick is present in many Martial Arts styles but primarily is associated with Muay Thai–or Thai boxing, the national sport of Thailand.  Yes, there is more to Thailand than ladyboys, street food, counterfeit watches, and epic weekends in Bangkok. The sport itself was developed like all Martial Arts as a means of self-defense. Developed from a fighting style called Krabi Krabong, it is centered around the mindset that you are born with 8 weapons:  2 fists, 2 elbows, 2 feet, and 2 knees.  In the early 20th century the Siamese army actually pitted fighters from competing companies in bouts against each other.  This might seem like a brutal way to build readiness but it is actually a common custom in modern militaries.  In fact, I participated in a traditional boxing match during my first deployment.  The management at Al Udeid, AB sanctioned the fights under several significant conditions.  I will admit I lost, but I contend the guy I fought was Airborne and I filled in at the last minute for another guy that wimped out that morning.  

For more information on Muay Thai, here is a link.

Because it is a proven fighting style as a sport, rather than an art (suck it Meryl Streep), it is popular among MMA fighters for their standing game.  Other styles such as Karate, Tae Kwon Do, and even traditional boxing are represented among professional fighters but they are fewer in number.  MMA fighters primarily train in Muay Thai, plus Ju Jitsu or wrestling for their ground game.  

So how do you do it?  To start, you should be in a modified boxing crouch–just more upright.  Hands up, shoulders forward, hips bent, feet should be a little wider than shoulder width at a 45 degree angle, strong leg should be back with your weight slightly biased to the back, knees bent and finally you should always be on the balls of your feet.  With me so far?

Something like this…

From here you need to be loose.  Start by moving your back leg forward like you plan to knee you opponent.  This position from his view means either you are moving to strike with a knee, parry a kick, or kick either high or low.  Deception is a good thing here.  Then pivot your front foot towards the outside, this will put it in a better position to maintain your balance.  Then turn your hips towards your front foot, begin to extend and swing your leg.  You want to aim to strike your opponent with your shin.  If you strike intentionally with your foot, you’re going to have a bad day. See UFC Fighter, Uriah Hall for the reason why you don’t necessarily want to strike with your foot, even if it worked out for Paige…

BTW. He won that fight.

The last step is called “chopping the tree.”  Here you are turning your hips violently to build power and swing your leg down.  Basically, pretend to strike your opponent with the lateral malleolus.  That is the big bulging bone on the side of your ankle.  Not that it is physically possible, but to finish by striking with the front of your shin, you will need to turn your entire body as if it were.  The result should look like this:

To see the full motion, here’s a Thai fighter engaging in clear cut deforestation (seriously). This is a devastating strike; typically compared with being hit with a baseball bat.  Some fighters have been clocked swinging their legs as fast as 130 miles per hour, delivering 1400 foot pounds of force.  This is beyond broken ribs, this is ruptured organs territory and depending on the location of impact in some cases can stop the heart.

Now that you know this should be more than just a charming marketing scheme…the beer does have a bit more character than the garden variety IPA.  Its base is a red ale, so it does have the usual toasted, caramel malts that are common with that style.  There is a hint of sweetness which is obvious given they list honey as an ingredient in big letters on the can.  I would probably say this is good enough on its own given that I’m partial to the balanced malty side of the spectrum but they also dry hopped it.  It’s a nice counter to the usual IPA and when compared to the ubiquitous red/amber ales is much more interesting.  Odd line to tread, but it treads it well. Bell’s Brewery Roundhouse India Red Ale 4.0/5.